Saturn-Moon: I Want My Mommy!

Transiting Saturn has been opposing my Aquarius Moon, and due to its retrograde motion, the planet of restriction and deficit has been hanging out there too long. The most pressing theme of this aspect has been a longing for Mother. No offense to Mom, but she could not have met each and every need of mine as a child. We all make do with what parenting we've received. I invested in about fifteen years of psychotherapy (and became a shrink myself) to heal my own wounds. I got to a place just a few years ago when I felt I no longer needed therapy, and I've functioned more-or-less fine without falling apart. But the ache for a mother figure still comes up -- especially when transiting Saturn puts a focus on my 'planet' of nurturance. Growth for anyone, in my definition, is being able to just be with the loss without filling the hole with compulsive behavior, or shutting down completely.

This is no small task. Part of growing up requires that we develop an "inner mother" to help us self-soothe when we feel small or anxious. In psychonalytic terms, we "introject" the mother, we take her inside ourselves. When do you know you've successfully done that? When you stop sleeping with your teddy bear? When you stop looking for mother figures in your lovers, your teachers, your friends?

It may be a life-long task. We all, from time to time, want our mommies. Life is scary. We take on new things, and want reassurance that everything will be OK. We want advice that only a mother can give. And yet, she's not available. Our real mothers might have passed away, or they just might not be very maternal. The archetype of the Perfect Mother who is all-compassionate is just that -- an archetype. More like Quan Yin than the woman who smacked you for talking back.

So with Saturn pressing down on my Moon, the lack is all the more apparent -- forcing myself to grow a mom inside myself. This looks different as I grow older. In my twenties, I felt like I was literally going to die if I felt an ache in my heart-center. Now, I experience that as a benevolent opening -- intense, yes, but not dangerous. I can tolerate my emotions better. In astrological terms, I can contain (Saturn) my feelings (Moon).

Everyone has a different Moon, depending on its sign, house placement and aspects to other planets. This complex combo will provide a picture of how you experience Mother, nurturance and feelings.

Everyone also has an inner mother. How we treat ourselves is often how Mom treated us. No better time than a Saturn transit to drop what doesn't work. And with transiting Neptune conjunct my Moon, no better time to introject the Compassion of the Divine Mommy.