We all have a "type," an idealized image of a man or woman. This attraction matches an archetypal pattern within ourselves, corresponding with Venus or Mars. Yet, often who we end up with more closely matches the Moon or Sun in our charts. I like to think of these four planets as symbolic of the four people cards of each suit in the Tarot. Venus is the princess or page, Mars is the prince or knight, the Moon is the queen, and the Sun is the king. When we are young, we are drawn to the princess and prince archetypes, but as we age, we ultimately settle down with the queen or king. Astrologically, a straight woman may fall for Mars but end up with her Sun, while a straight man may fall for Venus but end up with his Moon. (Many articles about the astrology of same-sex love can be found at astroqueer. I'm assuming if you're a gay man you'd look at Mars and the Sun, and Venus/Moon if you're a lesbian, but some would argue that many of the asteroid goddesses are relevant for the latter.)

In the comments section of Do you love your man for your Venus, BalancedSag writes

I definitely get really close and bonded with a venus/talking/communicating type of guy, and then end up with a mars/masculine type somehow instead EVERY TIME.... Maybe its that I am a fire sign and the masculine type of guy (cave man) moves that fire in me more. It is not always worth it though. The water in me (scorpio) ends up feeling soooo neglected (like right now, for example!!).

Even though she feels close to Mars in Scorpio (a feminine polarity Water sign), she ends up with her Sun in Sagittarius (a masculine polarity Fire sign).

A Personal Example

I have Pluto opposite Venus in Pisces. I've had a pattern of being consumed with wispy, willowy artist/poet/dancer types, yet the woman I've ultimately chosen to be with has a chart congruent with my Sixth House unaspected Moon in Aquarius. She's smart, independent and unconventional (Sun square Uranus, the modern ruler of Aquarius) and very focused on health and order/organization (Venus in Virgo, several Sixth House planets).

You're Not My Type

When you automatically refuse someone's advances because he doesn't fit the image of who you want, which part of your chart is talking? And how do you even know who's good for you? Maybe being with your Moon or Sun scares you, and you'd rather be with Venus or Mars. One reason for this fear may be that the Sun and Moon are the archetypes of the father and mother. Does a guy really want a girl just like the girl who married dear old Dad? It is actually all too easy to choose someone similar to a parent because your mother or father forms the template by which you understand and judge adults of the gender to whom you are attracted.

Of course, different planets express their needs depending on your life priorities. If your biological clock is ticking, you're coming from your Moon, and looking more for a Sun than a Mars. If you're looking for adventure and excitement, you may be looking for Mars instead of a Sun. Likewise, a guy may search for the Moon when he wants to settle down and start a family, after he has sowed his wild oats with multiple Venuses. (Or he just stays with his wife and cheats on her with a younger woman.)

These are grand generalizations, and the astrology of desire and mating is more complex than outlined above. But I'd love to hear thoughts!

Comment below: If you're a woman, what are your Mars and Sun signs, what kind of guy are you attracted to, and what decade of life are you in? And if you're a guy, what are your Venus and Moon signs?

First photo by brokenchopstick, second by Dianna Williams under CC license.

Labels: mars, moon, sun, venus

UrbnMermaid writes,

I have a question regarding the 7th house. As it happens I have the Sun in 7th house, as well as Uranus and Neptune. I was wondering, do all those planets simply describe us, the way we relate to others, our tastes, etc. or hint at our FUTURE.

So far I have read several quite different interpretations of the 7th house Sun. What I don't understand is, does the Sun in this particular house describe the way we are in relationships or the qualities of our future spouse, (as the 7th house is the house of marriage) because both things are quite different.

And another thing, does it mean anything specific to have 3 planets in this particular house, because some people don't have any in their charts. And could they possibly mean anything as a combination?

The conundrum of having a Seventh House Sun is that you don't know who you're meeting in that house: yourself, or a partner? If you have your Sun at the dusk portion of your chart, you need to express yourself in the realm of partnership. You are necessarily "tied up" with others, and are not nearly as independent as someone with, say, a First House Sun. It feels as if you need to be in a relationship to feel fulfilled.

But who, exactly, do you meet in the Seventh House? Yourself? How many of us -- really -- are attracted to people who share our Sun sign?

There are many other factors that contribute to the signs to which we are attracted: The ruler of your Seventh House cusp, other planets in your Seventh House, the Moon, Venus, Mars. We can't just say, "Don't count the Sun" because, for example, two Cancers together would never leave the house. For although the Sun's Seventh House placement means that relationships are integral to your self-expression, this 'planet' also symbolizes men. The Sun is the King, the husband. Some astrologers believe that women don't "embody" their Sun sign, and instead "meet" their Sun through a husband -- that a woman may be more likely to "be" her Moon sign, since the Moon symbolizes women, mother, wife. So, maybe a woman would be attracted to a man with her own Sun sign.

You see, there are no easy answers. I've got a Seventh House Pisces Sun, so relationship is very important to me, but I'm rarely drawn to other Pisces. However, I do use dance (Pisces) as a vehicle to explore what it means to connect to another human being.

If you have outer planets like Uranus and Neptune in your Seventh House, you can look at it two ways: you need to experience revolution and transcendence in partnership, and that you come into contact with a partner who embodies these qualities. These two ways are not mutually exclusive. In fact, they support each other, in that your partner can assist you in the process of integrating these powerful archetypal forces into your life. These experiences can feel like they are coming from "outside of yourself," which can feel disruptive. But then again, you'd be drawn to someone who likes to shake things up.

If you have no planets in your Seventh House, it does not mean you won't have a relationship ... just that your energy is not as invested in partnership. However, planetary aspects within your chart may make up for that.

Labels: astrology, seventh house, sun