The following guest post is by Neith aka Diane Lang.

We are all familiar with the reaction when someone says they have the Sun in Scorpio, but there are other less obvious ways the same energy crops up in natal charts. Those of us who have a strong Pluto influence (for example, a loaded Eighth House, Pluto in aspect to personal planets or Scorpio Rising) can also act a lot like those Scorpio Sun types. I will use an example from my own life to illustrate this . . .

I am a Libra Sun, Libra Moon person with Venus in Sagittarius in the First House. This translates as a pleasant, friendly sort with a charming manner. When I was young, it meant long blond hair, a casual sporty style and a breezy, easy going way about me – Sagittarius bait in essence! The catch is that I have Mars and Mercury in Scorpio conjunct my Scorpio Ascendant, with Pluto squaring my Mars. Throw in a Pluto sextile Moon aspect, and you have a Plutonian type. This meant the exterior was far different from what was going on inside. Now I could also project the Scorpio Rising pretty effectively too, notably when I was angry about something.

Sagittarians love the chase far more than the capture, and if you want to keep their interest, you just need to stay ever so slightly out of reach. There was one Sagittarius guy that was drawn to the Venus in Sagittarius style, and flirted with me like crazy when I was out partying with a girl friend. I found him equally attractive, so I came back another time and started chatting him up. The minute he got wind of the Scorpio intensity, he ran so fast all I saw were hoof prints in the dirt and the bushes waving from the breeze created by his departure.

The moral of this tale is this: If you have lots of Pluto aspects, a loaded Eighth House or Scorpio Rising, even if you are a sweetheart of a Libra, lighthearted Gemini, fun-loving Leo or some other harmless looking sort, you are not nearly the lightweight you appear. So don’t be surprised that when you unveil your natural intensity, you get a different reaction than anticipated. Oh, one other thing ... if you are a Plutonian, it is a good idea to start working on accepting that side of yourself without prejudice and acknowledging you are one of the power-brokers of the Zodiac. There are plenty of rewards . . . = smirk=

About the Author
Neith AKA Diane Lang writes a blog on Synastry at Neith on Synastry, where she writes posts answering relationship questions from readers and does the occasional post on how the outer planets in particular affect our ability to relate. She also has another blog, Neith.net, which covers a broad range of topics relating to Astrology and her life. If you enjoy her style and are interested in having her take a look at your chart, she does written reports for a reasonable fee too.

Related posts:

• Pluto problems in relationships
• Integration and dangers in the process of healing Pluto problems
• Pluto vs. Neptune: How do you process your emotions?

Comment below: Are you a Plutonic person? How does this aspect of yourself conflict with other elements of your chart?

Labels: libra, pluto, sagittarius, scorpio, venus

Ali provided a birth time (click chart to view) and wrote,

I am totally in love with a wonderful man who is a Virgo sun and Virgo moon and we both have Libra as our venus--i think that means something but I'm not entirely sure.

I haven't allowed myself to fall deeply in love with anyone for 15 years, ever since a very charming libra broke my heart into little pieces. After a very, very, very, very long and frusturating relationship with an aquarius i decided it was better to risk a broken heart then feel the emptieness of a relationship with no emotional connection. Which brings me to my question.

Six months ago I met and fell totally in love with a wonderful man. My only problem is that I have pangs of fear--fear of suffering a broken heart again, fear of abandonment, etc. This fear issue may be holding back our relationship from progressing to the next stage of commitment. Should I put my trust in him? Is it true that a Virgo man is a safe bet?

Your love planets (Venus and Mars) as well as your Moon are in relationship-oriented Libra, signifying a strong need to connect. However, this Libra stellium also contains Uranus and Pluto. These disruptive outer planets are in many ways beyond your control. Pluto's destructive power may have broken your heart (Venus), while Uranus' unpredictable need for independence may have resulted in your abandonment (Moon). Since these Libra planets are in the Western hemisphere (or right side) of your chart, you may be at the mercy of other people -- that is, you do not feel in control of your destiny.

In some respects, these fears are just something you have to live with. Given the influence of Uranus and Pluto, you are unlikely to have what one would call a "stable" love life, as their purpose is to shake up and knock down anything that gets in their way. At best, you can consciously explore the depths of intimacy (Pluto-Venus) and embrace your impulsive need for freedom (Moon-Uranus-Mars). You won't get over your fear until you accept and embrace your life-long transformational journey in the realm of partnership.

Virgo men are safe bets as far as men go, but your boyfriend's Sun sign means nothing until you are willing to look your terror in the eye.

Comment below to provide Ali feedback, or discuss Virgo-Scorpio compatibility in the forum.

Related post: Is Scorpio man cheating on Virgo woman?

Labels: astrology, libra, pluto, scorpio, uranus, virgo

geminisensualwoman provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

About two years ago, give or take I got involved with a Scorpio man (Nov) six years younger. He had been trying to get my attention before, but I hadn't noticed him. We started talking a little bit after he started dating his girlfriend (about a month) and made his interest obvious even when she's around. Sometimes he looks around for me or calls or just shows up. He gets mad when other guys flirt with me even though I don't respond.

Sometimes he asks my whereabouts and tells me where he is. We have such strong chemistry, it's almost like we are vibing each other without words. Often I may be texting him and he calls at the same time or I walk out side and he drives up. We can see each other at times 'cause were both secretive (around some people) and vibe off of one another and not say a word. Were different, but similar which is somewhat weird.

Sometimes when I'm out and run into him, he looks at me like he's mesmerized or something, then he hangs around to see me. His girlfriend and him have broken up off and on. I believe they are broke up now. No offense, but she's seems kind of puppetish. I think she's too easy or immature for him. Now last year he said we couldn't be together (not that I asked), but then comes around and wants to be around me or calls constantly sometimes. He says we live too close to one another to be together, he still lives with parents, but is very mature for his age.
Basically he goes back and forth with himself. Once he said he had feelings and he was getting caught up, I was like WOW after only a few months.

I will admit sometimes I will be nonchalant because of the situation, I don't care to get hurt. I let him see some of me, but not all. When I'm sure, I can and will open up to him. Our sex is so intense and passionate and he loves for me to seduce him, but he also does it to me too. We've been intimate for over two years now and he's opening up here and there over time, but my question is will he eventually want a serious relationship with me or is he just enjoying the sex? I'm willing to see where this can go, I really love being around him and would love to be with him....only if he wants to be with me though...

Let me get this straight ... he won't go out with you because you live too close to one another?

It appears that you two don't acknowledge publicly that you are sexually involved. You are his little secret, and I bet you'd like be recognized as his girlfriend. You don't really want to just "vibe" off each other via covert glances.

You may have heard the saying, "Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?" I think you're putting out too easily. I don't mean this in a judgmental way -- sex for its own sake is fine, if you have the right temperament. But you are protecting yourself, only letting him see a part of you.

The culprit may be a lack of boundaries. Your Moon is in Pisces, the watery sign that wants to merge with everything. It is in a stressful 90-degree angle (called a "square") with Neptune, the modern ruler of Pisces. Neptune is the Martyr, the Great Dissolver. When you combine such a porous Moon with the planet that knows no boundaries, you get both an emotional sponge and a doormat. You are exquisitely sensitive and vulnerable, yet you lack the tools to protect yourself from being walked on. (A 135-degree sesquiquadrate from Saturn to your Moon may help you build walls.)

So despite sensual Taurus rising, affectionate Venus in stimulation-seeking Gemini and sexual Mars in playful Leo, you're not really cut out for passionate sex unless your emotional vulnerability is cradled like a newborn.

Basically, I think you're deluding yourself. If he really wanted to be your boyfriend, he would have asked you. Maybe he doesn't think you're appropriate as a girlfriend, or maybe he doesn't have the incentive to make it official since he's already getting laid.

Currently, transiting Pluto is in your Eighth House of Intimate Sex, opposing your Sun and Venus in Gemini. Scorpio themes abound, as Pluto is this sign's modern ruler; the Eighth House is naturally associated with Scorpio; and Scorpio sits on the cusp of your Seventh House of Partnership (hence your attraction to this sign). It's fitting that this Scorpio man is in your life, as he may represent the Plutonic in your life.

During this transit, you have the opportunity to undergo a major overhaul regarding how you approach relationships, and you can start to uncover how your sense of self-worth (Second House) as an individual as well as a woman (Sun and Venus, respectively) relates to your sexual activity.

Related:

• Gemini and Scorpio reasons for breakup
• What is Gemini woman supposed to do with a hot black-eyed Scorpio man?
• Gemini-Scorpio compatibility discussion in the forum

Comment below to offer geminisensualwoman feedback.

Labels: astrology, gemini, pluto, scorpio

Since Eme Kah's recent comment on Integration and dangers in the process of healing Pluto problems, I have been thinking about how we deal with our emotions. From a psychological perspective, we learn to be with our feelings from our interactions with our mothers (or primary parent.) The mother-child bond is governed by Cancer and this sign's ruling 'planet,' the Moon. Your mother -- through her mirroring of your emotional state -- teaches you how to identify your feelings. No doubt, most of us are reared with less-than-ideal mirroring -- our parents don't reflect back to us our inner worlds, and we grow up not being able to identify or tolerate our feelings.

Of the three water signs -- Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces -- the latter two are ruled by modern planets: Pluto rules Scorpio, and Neptune rules Pisces. Scorpionic people process their feelings in a completely different way from Piscean people. (By Scorpionic, I mean having planets in Scorpio or strong Pluto contacts. By Piscean, having planets in Pisces or strong Neptune contacts.)

Pluto goes deep, and Pisces transcends or escapes. Scorpios are so intense because they dig into their emotions, turning over every rock, exploring every crevice to expose any unacknowledged feeling, image or memory. Due to the nature of being a fixed sign, Scorpio does not give up, and has the stamina to excavate its skeletons until there's nothing left to unearth.

Pisces, on the other hand, is best at experiencing emotions through art. Pisces is not an investigator or psychoanalyst like Scorpio. Rather, the last sign of the zodiac is a dancer, a musician, a poet. This sign's gift is expressing the ineffable through the creative act. Music, for example, is so powerful at conveying emotions that when we hear a song that resonates with our inner experience, it "hooks into" our minds and bodies -- we play it again to help us access and identify our feeling state. The musican "matches" what we often feel we cannot express through rational thought.

The dark side of Neptune/Pisces, however, is escapism. It is not a surprise that so many musicians are also addicts. The creative act is an immersive experience that can both be cathartic and exhausting. And frankly, Piscean types can easily feel overwhelmed by both their emotions and their environment, such that they turn to drugs and daydreams to dull the knife of painful affect.

Scorpionic types thrive on the knife, for this sign's traditional ruler is Mars, governor of weapons. The knife separates. The talent of the private dick or the shrink is their ability to differentiate between the clues that solve the case, and those that lead nowhere. It is the Scorpio who tells you to to cut the crap.

There is no separation for the Piscean. Remember The Matrix, when the bald child being trained by the Oracle says to Neo, "There is no spoon"? Well, there's no knife, either. Because Pisces cannot draw a line in the sand, this sign goes swimming instead.

The dark side of the Scorpionic person is extremism. They draw a line in the sand, and get so stuck in either/or that they totally embrace one side while disavowing the other. And as with any polarity, the neglected side has to be expressed. Scorpio goes all out in one direction, only to cross the line and forget where they just were, or they attract someone to adopt the opposing perspective. There can only be a power struggle when there's something to fight over.

Comment below: How do you process your feelings, and how does this approach impact your relationships?

Labels: astrology, neptune, pisces, pluto, scorpio

Whether you address the healing of Pluto problems [Donna Cunningham has a book by this name] via long-term psychotherapy or intensive retreat, the integration of material that arises from the unconscious is paramount to healing. If there is any danger to retreats or workshops, it is that (through the use of powerful tools of consciousness-expansion) too much material comes to the surface, and the participant feels overwhelmed. Then she goes home and does not know how to make meaning of her memories, images, bodily experiences, and so on. She also does not know how to go on with her daily life without being inundated with feelings that she cannot handle. However, if she has already done a lot of inner work and has a fair amount of ego strength and coping skills, she can benefit from intense weekends of transformation.

The benefit of long-term psychotherapy is that the healing of Pluto problems can happen over a slow pace in a (presumably) safe environment. Psychological material arises over time, sometimes in big chunks with apparently little going on for weeks or months in between. I say "apparently," because much of the work of psychotherapy is building enough trust in the psychotherapist to feel safe, thus allowing one to open up the psyche in the container of the therapeutic space.

Danger Ahead

Unfortunately, among both psychotherapists and workshop leaders there are bad eggs who can cause more wounding than healing. It is advisable to get referrals, use your common sense, and talk with friends, so that you can notice red flags as they arise. Healers in positions of power (Pluto people!) can effect profound transformation, and they can also be perpetrators of abuse. The dark side of Pluto is cults, sex with patients, mind control.

I don't mean to scare off anyone who feels the imperative to heal their Pluto problems. Without looking at your "stuff" head on, you are likely to keep repeating self-destructive habits in relationships (with others or yourself). Just don't let yourself be prey; there are good people out there, but you have to do your research to find them.

Integration

A therapist can help you integrate the material that arises from your unconscious, but if you are not in counseling, some of the following tools can help you on your journey:

• Journal about whatever feelings, images, memories come up. Just the act of writing this stuff down on paper helps to get some of it out of your head.
• Read books on mythology and Jungian psychology. Some of the Plutonic material you encounter in healing may come from the collective unconscious. Consciousness explorers have mapped out much of human experience already, so don't reinvent the wheel.
• Draw, paint, write music, dance ... any form of creative expression can channel material that cannot be expressed in a linear, logical manner.

Comment below: What negative or positive experiences have you had with healers? How do you integrate the psychological material that arises from your unconscious as a result of deep inner work?

Related:

• Pluto problems in relationships (Thanks to Eme Kah's comment for inspiring the current post.)
• How we turn people off with our planets

Labels: astrology, pluto

In the comments section of How we turn people off with our planets, Julie wrote this insightful response about living with challenging Pluto aspects:

For me, the control issue has been a major thing, along with the lack of trust (and I suppose they're probably related). The interesting thing to me has been that, as far as healing these issues is concerned, it's been recognizing my real lack of control that has freed me. Giving up the idea that I can control everything has made life simpler and happier. And I'm more trusting, too, because I've learned that I can survive being hurt.

People with challenging Pluto aspects often have been wounded. Dominated, violated, controlled, manipulated, broken down. It's all a matter of degrees how bad it was, and sometimes it's easier to deal with the more overt types of abuse because at least you can identify exactly what happened. The covert type of abuse that you can't quite place -- that can't be proven -- is often more difficult to heal.

Regardless, in order to survive, we build up defenses. To avoid feeling completely powerless, we develop routines, habits, m.o.'s. Control is an illusion, but how terrifying life can be -- especially as a child or young adult -- to feel that you cannot protect yourself, that you are vulnerable! The world can be a dangerous place, and a "kill or be killed" approach sometimes feels like the only way to survive.

But control does not work in relationships. You can only get so close, and then terror kicks in. A constant suspicion of people's motives prevents your heart from flowering. You play various "games" to be one up. And all you accomplish are power struggles and strife.

Learning that you can survive being hurt -- this is key. I believe that there is something deep inside of you that cannot be harmed, and that you have a natural tendency to heal. A psychotherapeutic relationship, for example, can facilitate this. A "corrective emotional experience" occurs when your habitual patterns rear their ugly head in an intimate relationship, and the therapist responds differently than how you expect. You cannot lure the therapist into your game, and you learn that relationships do not always have to repeat the same destructive pattern, over and over again. You also get in touch with your inner strength, dis-identifying with your woundedness.

It is your vulnerability that makes you beautiful. It is your open-heartedness that attracts love. Only by risking authenticity can you take the air out of someone else's tires, preventing them from driving their PlutoMobile over your soul.

Labels: astrology, pluto

Most relationship don't work out, and as much as we'd like to blame the other person, we can only change ourselves. The planets in our charts symbolize the variety of urges we have as human beings: to nurture, create, assert, defend, escape, and so on. Although the expression of any planet can be beneficial, our planets can also be alienating to other people.

Only the challenges of Jupiter through Pluto are listed below, because it is often the hard angles they make to the personal planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars) that bring out their dark sides.

Jupiter

As the big planet, Jupiter has a tendency to exaggerate. With challenging aspects, Jupiter can lead to arrogance, evangelism, going beyond what is necessary, overlooking the details, neglecting the fine print in favor of the big picture. Nobody wants to be lectured or proselytized to. And coming off as too big for one's britches is a turn-off.

Saturn

Fear, a sense of inferiority ... we all have our deficiencies, and that's OK. What counts is how we work with them. All too often, Saturn encourages us to build walls of defensiveness to cover over our feelings of not being enough. We become rigid, inflexible. Or we overcompensate to fix our flaws, only to become a workaholic. Discipline is a virtue, but when you deny your vulnerability, it's hard for people to feel close to you.

Uranus

The world need revolutionaries. Otherwise, life would be stagnant and most people would be living under the dominion of monarchs. But sometimes you rebel just so you can differentiate yourself, taking up a cause and provoking people so much that you end up alienating them. It doesn't matter if you're pro-life or an animal rights activitst, there's a way to fight the power without frightening off your friends.

Neptune

Great art and music is often pulled out of thin air, inspired by the muses and the gods. However, Neptune's propensity for escapism can lead you to lose yourself in drink or virtual worlds, neglecting your daily responsibilities. You may not be hitting rock-bottom with your addiction to crack or massively multiplayer online games, but your unavailability makes intimacy an uphill battle.

Pluto

The lord of the underworld can be an agent of transformation, bringing psychological and physical toxins to the surface to enable healing and regeneration. However, Pluto can also be violating and controlling, digging into other people's dirt and manipulating others for his own gain. Although insight into the human psyche and the ability to root out secrets can be used for good, these same talents used inappropriately can betray trust and make people feel like they've been metaphorically raped.

Comment below: What challenging aspects in your own chart sabotage your relationship success?

Labels: astrology, jupiter, neptune, pluto, saturn, uranus