There's been an interesting discussion in the comments section of Are Libras unfaithful?

Tina: I wonder what is it about my chart that keeps me from being an unfaithful moon in libra? I am obviously in the minority here and I don't get it. Is it just because it's just my moon instead of my sun sign? On paper my libran moon combined with all my uranus aspects would make it seem that I WOULD be into more than one relationship at the same time but I honestly prefer a monogamous relationship. Could my sun in cancer be THAT much of a "taming" influence when the rest of my chart is stacked the other way?

Brenda: ... I do think your cancer probably plays a role in what prevents you from making decisions that hurt others (like cheating). My ascendant is cancer, and I think it gives me compassion towards others.

What factors contribute to one's decision to resist temptation? We may not all fantasize about straying (if we're in a relationship) or getting involved with someone married (regardless of our relationship status), but I'm sure many of us have -- at one time or another -- felt the desire to cheat (or seduce another into cheating with us).

Is compassion the secret ingredient? I was just speaking with someone who has her love planets in Gemini and Sag, yet she has Cancer Rising, and she never even considers infidelity. Yet Pisces is also compassionate, yet this fantasy-prone sign -- known for lying to self and others -- would not be considered a key ingredient in Fidelity Sauce.

Cheaters -- is it the case that they just don't care about hurting other people's feelings, or is the problem that they can't control their impulses?

Can certain astrological factors override others?

What if you've got Uranus in hard aspect with Venus and Mars in "straying" signs? (And for that matter, what are straying signs?) Will a caring Ascendant be enough to reign in your impulses to screw whomever you want, regardless of the consequences?

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Labels: astrology, infidelity

Scorpio provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

i'm a scorpio female. i unilateraly fell in love with a pisces married man. he is 8 month older, he is my ms thesis supervisor. i can't stop thinking of him, so i'd like to know what are the magic techniques to drive him crazy or seduce him even though he is married.

You like to act recklessly, and may not even be aware of it. A very tight Mars-Uranus conjunction in your Twelfth House of Self-Undoing indicates a tendency to take risks without much thought about the consequences. Your impulsivity is expanded and intensified by this planetary pair's conjunction to Jupiter and Pluto.

Compulsivity and erotic charge in matters of love correlate with your natal Venus's square -- or 90 degree angle -- to Pluto (obsession), Jupiter (idealism, exaggeration) and Mars (sexuality).

Boundary problems with men are indicated by your Sun's conjunction to Neptune, planet of delusion and dissolution. This conjunction also suggests an attraction to Pisces men, as Neptune rules this final sign of the zodiac.

Your Seventh House of Partnership is inhabited by Saturn, planet of hardship and deficiency, suggesting a struggle to experience fulfillment in relationship, as well as an attraction to authority figures. The ruler of your Seventh House -- which has Aries on the cusp -- is Mars. This planet is in Libra, the sign of marriage, and is conjunct (as mentioned above) Jupiter, planet associated with university professors, in the Twelfth House of Secret Love Affairs. Sounds like your thesis advisor!

Do yourself a favor, Scorpio, and leave this guy alone. Just finish your degree. Having an affair with a married man is no good. Having an affair with your thesis advisor is no good. I know I'm being moralistic here, but there's a reason some cultural taboos and educational policies are put in place.

Transiting Pluto in your Third House of Gossip is exactly conjunct your natal Venus right now, contributing to total love obsession. Moreover, it is squaring your Jupiter (higher education). If you're not careful, word can get out (tr. Pluto in 3rd) about your affair (12th), possibly undermining your chances of finishing your degree.

Comment below to provide your feedback to Scorpio.

Discuss Scorpio-Pisces compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, infidelity, pisces, scorpio

Before the internet, you had to ask a girl friend for advice on how to break up a relationship. Or if you were lucky, there'd be a how-to article in a woman's magazine. Nowadays, all it takes is a simple google query, and all of your answers are solved. The secrets of ruining another person's life are at your fingertips!

Back in the day, a girl friend would have talked some sense into you. She would have told you that you're as unlikely to get a Taurus man to leave his girlfriend as you are to rouse a lazy bull from his resting spot. Why would any creature of habit who's living the good life be tempted to do things differently? Your girl friend would also have told you that you'd be stupid to think that a guy who leaves his wife for you wouldn't do the same to you later on.

But no, with the beauty of the internet, if you don't find the answer you want, there's always 729,000 more websites to browse, until you find what you were looking for. So shut down your computer and give your gal pal a call. She'll tell you to put your energy into a man who's actually available.

You see, not only are you drawn to a man you can't have, you're drawn to a Sun sign that is least likely than any other sign to ditch his girl for you. Maybe therapy is what you need!

Comment below: How successful have you been in getting a Taurus guy to leave his girlfriend or wife?

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Labels: astrology, infidelity, taurus

There's been a short discussion in the comments section on Does Uranus in the Seventh House automatically mean infidelity?

proserpine wrote,

I have heard ... that Moon in Libra means the person is unfaithful in relationships, but that that placement often means the native will have two relationships at the same time(or want to have them). Libra Sun will often have two relationships--and *that* I can testify to--personally, and second-hand.:-).

I have known a few Moon-in-Libra folks and they often do have more than one love affair going on.

I scoured the web a bit to look into this, because it's not something I've heard about. (Was I not invited to the cheating party?)

novareinna writes, "Libra is easily attracted to other individuals and fidelity is not this Sign's strong suit...although ironically, there may be evidence of jealousy on both sides at displays of such disloyal behavior."

Victoria Bazeley writes in the larger context of afflictions to Neptune in Libra, "I get a bit suspicious when I see a lot of Libra in any chart (including a Libra Ascendant), although I don’t actually have the hard data to back up my suspicions."

Granted, I don't have any personal planets in Libra, so this sign is somewhat alien to me. But conceptually, Libran infidelity doesn't make sense. Yes, they're flirtatious, but among the air signs, Libra would be the least likely to cheat. Aquarius is the sign of independence, and Gemini is the sign of "twos," needing variety to keep stimulated. Libra is just so focused on partnership -- why would they be unfaithful?

Perhaps indecision would be one culprit. Libra may be torn between two (or more) lovers, because they're constantly balancing each person's virtues and faults.

Libra is ruled by Venus, whose counterpart is Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love and beauty. Aphrodite frequently cheated on her hubby, Hephaestus. If you are a Libra, the sign placement of your Venus will be especially significant. Due to its proximity to the Sun, Venus can only be within two signs of either side of Libra, so that would mean Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio and Sagittarius. Venus in Sag would be prone to play the field.

I also suspect that the outer planets may have something to do with this reputation. Boomers born between 1943 and 1956 have Neptune in Libra, and people born between 1968 and 1975 have Uranus in Libra. Any Libras born during either of these periods are likely (using a 10 degree orb for a conjuction to one's Sun) to have their basic nature influenced by either of these powerful planets.

Victoria Bazeley again writes,

afflictions to Neptune in Libra (affecting the generation now in its 50s) have proven to be problematic in a number of cases. (Libra is the sign of marriage, so this is a blending of the symbols for deception and marriage!)

And people with Uranus-Sun conjuctions need their share of freedom, not to mention the fact that Uranus in Libra breaks down the conventions of marriage.

Anyone with a Moon in Libra who was born during these two periods will likely have a Moon-Neptune or Moon-Uranus conjunction, which correspond, respectively, with poor boundaries or a need for independence in relationships.

I'm not convinced Libra deserves this bad rap, but I'm open to your comments below. My Aquarian Moon wants some logical explanations, though.

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Labels: astrology, infidelity, libra

A Virgo female asks:

I have read a lot of different horoscopes about Scorpios and Virgos. Are we really compatible and are these two signs a good love match? Also, my Scorpio man and I have been seeing each other for over a year now. I have revealed to him that I am in love with him. He has told told me that he loves me, but that he is not in love with me, but that he cares for me deeply and that it takes him a while to fall in love. Is this normal for most Scorpios and does it usually take this long for a Scorpio to fall in love? Also, I have no proof but at times I feel that my Scorpio may be involved with other women and I know that Scorpio's are very sexual and lustful. Is it possible that my Scorpio man is telling me the truth that he does care for me deeply, but that due to his lustful nature he can still juggle other women, while having deep feelings for me? I have asked him in the past if he is involved with anyone else and to please be truthful with me. He always replies that I worry too much and that he is not seeing other people. However, my gut instinct and intuition makes me feel that he is. Should I take it that if I do feel that something is going on that it probably is and that he is being dishonest with me? If so, does that mean that he does not care deeply for me as he claims? Do you think that there is a chance for a Scorpio and Virgo to have a deep love bond, so much so that my Scorpio man will give up all other women and fall in love with me? Please help. Virgo girl not sure what to do.

"He has told told me that he loves me, but that he is not in love with me, but that he cares for me deeply and that it takes him a while to fall in love."

Since you're a Virgo, you will bear with me as I linguistically parse these phrases (with apologies to George Lakoff).

• When he loves you, he is performing an action, because love is being used as a verb. He is willing to care for you.
• When he is in love with you, both of you are in a box, for LOVE IS A CONTAINER.
• When he falls in love, he is not in control. He slips and falls into the "love box," against his will.

As we know, Scorpios are control freaks, so it is not so easy for them to allow themselves to do anything against their will, to surrender. For a Scorpio, giving up control opens up the risk of hurt and betrayal, so perhaps it does take him a long time to fall in love.

One way to guard against surrender is by having affairs, for it keeps him at a distance from the love box. However, you may just be a Virgo worrywort. Just because you feel something is going on, does not mean that it is. But you also should trust your gut, especially because Virgo rules this part of the body. You likely have good "attention to detail" (Virgos love to put this on their resume). What would be "out of place" if your Scorpio were cheating on you? Would you notice? I'm not telling you to poke around his private affairs, for that will certainly make a Scorpio run for the hills. But think logically about what would be "out of order." Also keep in mind that Virgos are self-critical. Maybe you don't feel good enough to have a man devote himself wholeheartedly to you.

Virgo and Scorpio are a good match, but this is not what your concern is really about. I'd suggest that you look at your relationship history. Have you been cheated on before? Do you feel worthy of being loved? If after your own self-exploration you still feel in your gut that he is cheating, write back and we'll see what we can do.

Comment below: Well, what do you think?

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Labels: astrology, infidelity, scorpio, virgo

Conflicted Libra asks:

I am a libra female who had a 5 year relationship with a scorpio male. He accused me of cheating on him and ended the relationship. We lost touch for a few years and then I searched him out on one of those class reunion websites. He responded to my e-mail quickly and we have continued e-mail exchanges. Over the last year and a half we have met in person twice and ended up in sleeping together. I have told him on both occassions that I still have feelings for him even 7 years after our breakup and that I truly feel he was the one person who was meant to be for me. His response was that he feels a familiarity but has since moved on and no longer feels the same way he did about me when we were together. While that clearly stings the soul, my question is, what is he pursuing and why would he be pursuing it with me if he wasn't interested or felt anything for me. Our relationship was very intense, passionate, affectionate, and basically wonderful until the end when the accusations of infidelity arose. Being new in my career, I traveled frequently and he had suspicions that I was cheating on him. We were different then and so it hurts more now than ever, to see him again at this stage of our lives knowing fully well we could have made an ideal couple. I am confused as to why he continues to pursue me when he admitted his marriage to his Capricorn wife has it's ups and downs, but for the most part he is happy. Does a "happy" Scorpio male pursue sexual relations outside of his marriage with an ex-flame? His actions and words do not make sense to this conflicted and heart broken Libra. Is it, in your opinion given our signs, we will ever reunite permanently? He did confess that it took him over 6 months to get over leaving me but he knew that we were in different stages in our lives, and we needed to go different directions. Recently he did admit that he thinks things could have been different. He is flirtatious, but not affectionate. I believe there has to be some small corner of his heart reserved for me otherwise this wouldn't be happening. I am not happy in my marriage to my Cancer husband and I am not so sure he is so happy with his Capricorn wife. On top of my questions above, this one weighs on my mind the most. Is committing infidelity on our existing marriages going to impact any potential for a future for us? I know he's got trust issues, but if I feel like I am under a spell when I'm with him and I can't say no to my heart or to his sexual proposals. Can you please help me figure this out?

You mention that you "still have feelings for him even 7 years after [y]our breakup." Saturn has a quarter cycle every seven years, in which it moves 90 degrees around the zodiac. I wonder if he left you when Saturn was making a difficult transit to love planets or points in either (or both) of your natal charts. The serious inquiry required by a Saturn transit can lead to an ending or a deeper commitment. Seven years later, these themes surrounding your breakup are re-appearing.

The Scorpio man can intensely connect with a lover, or he can use the power of manipulation to get his way. Of course, he can linger anywhere in between these extremes, but Scorpio does tend to be black-and-white in these matters. Your ex may have a small corner of his heart reserved for you, but what is a small corner worth? Will it buy you a ticket on the Love Express? If he is flirtatious but not affectionate -- and one doesn't need to be an astrologer to say this -- he may just be having sex with you because he can get you into bed. He may not be thrilled with his marriage, but also not feel any need to leave his wife, either.

The other option is that he is exploring the possibility of a relationship with you, but is hiding his love to protect himself. If just the thought of your infidelity seven years ago was enough for him to end the relationship, he's sensitive to betrayal.

Which leads to the question, "Is committing infidelity on our existing marriages going to impact any potential for a future for us?" I'm just being logical here: If Scorpio breaks up with a woman because he thinks she is cheating, and seven years later he cheats on his wife with that woman, who is cheating on her husband ... no, I can't do the math! For one, the double-standard (he can cheat, but probably wouldn't tolerate his wife's infidelity) is not an admirable quality. Second, if he is a possessive Scorpio, why would he get emotionally involved with you if he knows you are capable of cheating on your husband? This line of reasoning makes it doubtful that he's reserved more than a small corner of his heart for you.

Add your two cents in the comments section, or ask a question.

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Labels: astrology, infidelity, libra, scorpio

A sad Sagittarius writes:

He cheated-- my sweet, innocent, "fallen angel" as he likes me to refer. Why? Now what? Does that mean he is over me? As he put it "she literally broke into his house in the middle of the night, and she is an ex ex ex girlfriend, the type he wishes he had spent more time with." Isn't that just about every ex for a Pisces? He did tell me that he loves me, before this obviously, and he said it often. This seems out of nowhere. I haven't cried yet, and I told him I didn't want to speak with him anymore. Now, I want to speak with him and find out the golden question: why?

Is there hope? I still love him too much.

Sad Sag,

It sounds like your Pisces is embodying the very worst qualities of his sign: passivity and martyrdom. Pisces is the archetype of the crucified Jesus -- no wonder he likes you to refer to him as your "fallen angel."

Your Pisces' ex may very well have broken into his house, and I'm sure he wishes he had spent more time with her, but he's with you now. He could have said, "No, I have a girlfriend." Pisces can act as if they are helpless victims, but there are Pisces who have grown up. "Help, I'm a fallen angel, and I can't get up" is no excuse, especially since he can get it up with someone else.

I'm not sure trying to get a reasonable explanation out of him is worth your time. He went with the flow of the moment, as Pisces are prone to do. If you're a guy, and an ex you're still hot for breaks into your house and seduces you, it does take some backbone to save your bone for your girlfriend. I'd actually be more worried about this ex who broke into his house -- is she stable?

There may be hope for the relationship if your Pisces can take responsibility for his part, as well as make a commitment to grow up. That's not something you can measure, but you're a Sag ... either you have faith, or you don't.

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Labels: astrology, infidelity, pisces

What are you thinking?

Cancer rules the family, old-fashioned values, and the home. Unless this Cancer man has restless Uranus compelling one of his love planets to break the rules of matrimony, you are as likely to break up his marriage as the Moon is likely to stop in her tracks.

And what is this whole seduction-of-married-men thing about, anyway? The planets may be far away, but they are not impartial. OK, Uranus may say, "Go for it!" but Saturn ... oh Saturn ... the god who keeps tabs on your karma -- he doesn't forget. Like Santa Claus, who makes a list of who's naughty and who's nice, Saturn will give you back whatever you put out. The witches say that it'll come back three-fold! And if not in this life, well ... in your next life you'll be born a leper or an orphan or one of those poor saps who's constantly cuckolded.

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Labels: astrology, cancer, infidelity, marriage