Micah (view chart) writes,

Labels: cancer, gemini

He Said/She Said features a love advice question answered by professional astrologers Jessica Shepherd of Moonkissd and Jeffrey Kishner of Seduction Central. After they each provide their perspective, they combine their insight to offer advice they both agree on.

A Scorpio woman (view her chart) writes,

We have known each other for four months as business and friends, and he has been very supportive to me. he wants me to his wife for life we have not consumated our relationship physically but he swears what that i am the one!

my concern is i just found out he was married three times....Is he for real? His last girlfirend was a ten year relationship and he was alone the last two years? I take relationships seriously.....and have never been married....I am an attractive, sexy, successful woman...who has had offers..but have been leary....this seems real??? but my heart says one thing and my head says another.

He Said:

This Gemini man (view his chart) has Venus in Aries opposite a Saturn-Neptune conjunction, all square Uranus. This configuration is called a T-Square, and creates much tension because the planets are working at cross-purposes with each other. (And if you want to count Chiron the Wounded Healer, he has a cardinal Grand Cross!) His relationship planet (Venus) is being challenged by significant transpersonal forces. Uranus brings to Venus an urge toward independence, excitement and unconventionality. Neptune brings idealism, a need for fantasy and escape. And Saturn brings a longing for commitment and groundedness. All of these archetypal desires are fine in their own right -- the problem is that the angles these planets make to Venus make it difficult to integrate their expression in his relationship life. As a result, he may be constantly battling between commitment (Saturn) versus freedom (Uranus); reality (Saturn) versus fantasy (Neptune); the urge to merge (Neptune) versus the need for distance (Uranus). This complex may correspond with his trouble maintaining a successful long-term marriage.

You're wondering if this is real. That's hard to say, because the planet of Unreality -- Neptune -- is currently transiting the cusp of your Seventh House of Partnership. You cannot see other people clearly right now. Nor will you for a long time, as Neptune moves slowly and will be traveling through this house for many years. You are prone to idealize a partner, to see who you want to see. This can be a glamorous experience, as you feel romantic and want to realize your relationship fantasies. However, your judgment may be cloudy during this time.

My advice is to take it slow. You've only known each other for four months! Go on many dates with him. If you're both comfortable with sex before marriage, see how compatible you are in the bedroom. Your Capricorn Saturn "completes" his cardinal T-square, so you may notice that you "activate" his relationship issues. Don't make any serious decisions until you see his issues come into play.

She Said:

To read Jessica's response to the same question, visit Moonkissd -- then read They Said for their bottom line advice!

To submit your burning love question, email Jessica with "he said, she said" in the subject line, or complete Jeffrey's form.

They Said:

All indicators say take your time with this guy. Get to know him, gather evidence about why marriage hasn't worked for him in the past. Time will allow his issues to make themselves known. You'll eventually find out if he's ready and willing to be a husband.

Jeffrey and Jessica are available for astrology consultations. Check out their respective websites for details.

Related post: Scorpio and Gemini reasons for breakup
(66 comments strong!)

Labels: gemini, scorpio

Geminisadface included his birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

im a gemini. there is this scorpio girl i knew when i was about 15 and she really liked me. i didnt get it. she had a boyfriend and she would always tell me how she wanted to dump her boyfriend for me. i thought of her as my friend but i never gave any interest in her so i couldnt understand why she wanted me so bad. she made me feel good but i guess it just scared me so i pushed her as far away as i could. so she has been out of my life for 7 years and ive been around the block and found that im pretty good at attracting all types of women. my problem is that i constantly change my mind about what i want. so now she is back.

i had an experience recently that changed my whole life in which i realized the error of my ways. i realized that i had been destructive and selfish. i realized that my whole path of destruction goes all the way back to her. i was afraid to be loved by someone. 7 years later i realize that i have always loved her. i have been talking to her again and she is suspicious of me as ever. she hides everything so well but i am sure i stir emotions inside her. i cant get her to lift her veil of mystery. i havent told her the extent of my feelings though. shes the one girl right now that i couldnt change my mind about the way i feel about her even if i wanted to.

so now the roles are reversed. i want her so badly and she cant understand it at all. i know i deserve this. i have accepted the fact that i may have missed out on one of the most special people to come into my life. i will refuse to give up because it is just too important to me and i will continue on paying for the sins i have committed for the rest of my life if thats my fate.

she symbolizes my transition from a life of evil to a life of good. i have always dreamed of the perfect love story and it makes me so sad that the perfect love story was there when i was a kid but i didnt see it. things are going really slow but i think if i persist then maybe i could possibly have her. i want her more than any girl but there is a lot of temptation around me. i dont want to forget about how wonderful she is like i did before when we were children.

so i have tried small talk and flirting, that didnt work. i have tried opening up and showing my emotions and that worked a little better.

my question is how can i get her to come out of her shell and come back into my life in some capacity? friend or lover. i want her in my life. should i just accept it and settle for another girl? or is it possible for me to recapture the affections of the scorpion?

No wonder you have no problem attracting women: your Venus in assertive Aries and Mars in sociable Gemini are making a beneficial 60-degree aspect (called a "sextile") to each other. This means your love and sex planets work together harmoniously. Unfortunately, frequently changing your mind about the type of woman you want is common for a Gemini, and especially for yourself, since your Sun (self-expression), Mars (sexual desire) and Mercury (communication) are all in this restless sign.

Your life-changing event might be related to Pluto's recent exit from the last degrees of Sagittarius (where the Lord of the Underworld -- which recently stationed retrograde -- will return). The planet of compulsion, destruction and eventual rebirth was making a challenging aspect (opposition) to your Mars and a more supportive aspect (trine) to your Venus. Pluto dragged your style of relating into the depths of Hell (aka, your psyche) to transform your fear of being loved into an ability to face your Terror straight in the eyes. (We hope.)

The ruler of your Seventh House of Partnership -- with Capricorn on the cusp -- is Saturn in Scorpio. And your Saturn is within a degree of conjoining her Scorpio Sun, so I understand why you feel she's The One -- your relationship significator is unified with her basic self. The problem could be that your Saturn is on her Sun. (View her chart to the right.) Saturn is the planet of restriction and judgment. She may feel that her relationship with you brings with it a sense of hardship. CafeAstrology has an excellent description of this interaspect:

One strong factor that attracted you to each other (perhaps unconsciously) is the feeling that you can have a deep, stable, permanent relationship and settle down together, facing life's responsibilities in a mature way, tackling challenges together such as raising children, becoming financially secure, etc. These concerns can gradually cause your relationship to become too absorbed with "serious" matters, causing both of you to feel limited and stifled by the relationship. Saturn has a strong tendency to criticize and judge Sun's actions, sometimes accurately and sometimes unjustly. Saturn should guard against this tendency to dampen Sun's enthusiasm, and Sun needs to avoid being overly sensitive to Saturn's suggestions and criticisms. Saturn's tendency to dominate, control, or even repress Sun makes Sun feel resentful at times, and Sun may feel lowered vitality and self-confidence after being with Saturn for a long time. You must make room for lightness and play, or you both will feel burdened by the tone that is set between you. Remember that there is a solid sense of being able to depend on one another, and this is a precious gift. Saturn may not be aware of the limiting effect Saturn has on Sun, and Sun would do well to understand that Saturn has this influence due to insecurities. There can be some haughty and judgmental exchanges between the two of you at times, and it is wise to step back and examine exactly why this happens! Saturn can easily feel threatened by Sun's expressions of growth and individuality, because Saturn feels much more safe when Sun stays the same! Growth on Sun's part does not mean growing apart from Saturn, and Saturn would do well to understand this.

As you can see, this connection with your Scorpio love interest has its challenges, but can also reward you with the stability you crave. I'd suggest that you monitor any tendencies towards being critical of her. And if you're willing, be radically honest about your fear of being loved, your self-destructiveness and how you've come to the other side of your life-changing epiphany. Scorpios appreciate people who've risen from the ashes.

Labels: gemini, saturn, scorpio

dazedandconfused included a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

I am a Libra that married a Gemini pretty young. We have been married for a while, have 2 kids. He does all the things he's supposed to...but I have not had that hot steamy feeling for him for a long time. I don't tell him for fear of destroying him, and the kids. NOW there is this guy I am around as a friend, but pretty regularly. From the very first time we met there was this energy...now that we know each other better, he's a libra too. So I have been doing my research and this is what I am faced with??My husband, a gemini is like my perfect match...and this libra is a perfect sex match?? So I guess I need advice. How do I as a Libra control myself around this other libra, when I have been in this "boring" marriage. And also, ways I might reignite that spark with my gemini.

Long-term relationships often lose their fire, and it can seem easier to act on your sexual feelings toward someone new than to stir the dying embers within your own marriage. However, ethics dictates that you do the right thing -- which means keeping your pants buttoned when you're near the Libra man. I'm sure you don't want to compromise your marriage and family life by having an affair.

The best way to control yourself is to make a decision that you're just not going to "go there." As long as you feed energy to your attractions outside the marriage, you water down your intention to "reignite the spark" within it. There is nothing wrong with flirting, but when this behavior is more than playful, you need to pull back. For starters, set some boundaries with yourself around this Libra man. What kinds of touch increases your desire? What topics of conversation feel naughty? Make a commitment to not cross whatever line you've drawn in the sand.

There is a lot of push-pull in your chart that may illuminate your dilemma. For starters, your Libra Sun is conjunct both Saturn and Jupiter. Saturn honors commitment and longevity, while Jupiter craves freedom and adventure. Your challenge is to integrate both energies into your self-expression, to expand your horizons within set limitations. These Libra planets are in your Fifth House of Romance opposite your impetuous Aries Moon, suggesting that your need to act on your desires right now conflicts with the need to cultivate zest in a long-term partnership.

In addition, both of your "love" planets are influenced by the planet that craves excitement and independence. Your Uranus is conjunct Venus in Sagittarius (the sign that likes to "play the field") and square Mars in Leo. The electric energy of this outer planet makes restraint and impulse control near-impossible.

So I see that it's not exactly easy to hold yourself back. Boredom in a monogamous relationship for someone with these Uranus aspects and personal planets in Fire signs is a recipe for trouble, so it is essential that you find a way to bring excitement and inspiration into your marriage. Since your Sagittarius Venus is in your Sixth House of Daily Routine, I'd suggest you find ways to disrupt whatever ruts you've gotten into as a couple -- you know, the rituals of daily life that you've fallen into by force of habit.

Your husband's Venus and Mars are in earthy Taurus, suggesting he's slower to arousal than you are, yet his love planets are opposed by Uranus, so he's got a similar dynamic to yourself. Perhaps, because it's an opposition, he projects his Uranus onto you and lets you take that on in your marriage ... in which case, his job would be to "own" his own desire for excitement and unpredictability.

Related post: Are Libras unfaithful?

Comment below: How do you bring the spice back into a marriage?

Jeffrey is available for astrology consultations.

Labels: gemini, libra

Someone provided an exact birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

I'm virgo with rising in gemini and moon in leo. Seems complicated right? I just want to know if I will always have problems with relationships or if you have any advice for me. I think I think too much... :( But then I feel too much too so it's like if several people were fighting inside of me constantly to know what to do and what's right or not!!! I love my boyfriend a lot, a gemini but we are four people in our relationship, when both of us are well is like heaven, when both of us are bad it is like hell. When one is well and the other bad we can fix it. But then when we are bad he turns cold and I suffer a lot because believe it or not I hate coldness and I can never be cold. Even when I feel bad I'm never cold. I just don't know what to do. He is cold right now and he treats me as if he was two different people, when he is there he shows he loves me and treats me as if I was a princess when he is not there and he is cold it is like if I was a fly in his life. Can you tell me something about this? Thank you very much.

Gemini is the sign of the Twins. Mutable signs have a sense of duality (the two fish of Pisces; the half-man, half-beast of Sagittarius; the sacred and mundane aspects of Virgo) but Gemini's duality is the most pronounced. A Gemini can have multiple agendas which do not necessarily go in the same direction, and which can lead to great conflict. Gemini is into you one day, the next day he's not. It's difficult for this sign to stay consistently attached to one person. His other half' will want the freedom to be somewhere else.

You, as a Virgo, are more consistent because you are an earth sign. You think too much because both your Gemini Ascendant and Virgo Sun are ruled by mental Mercury. It's hard for you not to be analytical, with Mercury in Virgo. Yet, you can't be cold because both your Moon and Venus are in warm Leo (although their conjunction to natal Saturn can lead you to feel a withdrawal of affection).

Currently, transiting Saturn -- the planet of restriction and hardship -- is conjunct your natal Mercury. Difficulties with communication and negative thoughts are common for this transit. Saturn may be bringing on the freeze in your relationship because your natal Mercury rules your Fifth House of Romance. This house is naturally associated with Leo. When Saturn puts a damper on your love life, your Venus in Leo misses being treated like a princess.

Saturn will be transiting your Mercury until summer of 2008, due to its retrograde motion. You may be feeling weighed down and unable to communicate your needs. Increased self-criticism may become unbearable. You cannot change your boyfriend, but you can use this period to assess which communication patterns work for you, and which do not. As Saturn may bring out the worst in Virgo, consider if your perfectionistic and nitpicky tendencies turn your Gemini boyfriend off. Virgo and Gemini, despite being ruled by the same planet, make a stressful square aspect to each other. The air of Gemini wants to move about, while the earth of Virgo wants to focus on one small detail. Gemini does not have the laser focus of the Virgo mind, and may grow impatient with its obsessive attention to faults. Surely, your Gemini Ascendant increases compatibility with your boyfriend. But for now, let Saturn help you remove the wheat from the chaff in your field of talk.

Comment below to leave Someone feedback, or discuss Gemini-Virgo compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, gemini, virgo

I was reading Archetypes Of The Zodiac by Kathleen Burt last night, and she wrote that Gemini and Cancer may be drawn to each other, because Gemini is Peter Pan -- the boy who never wants to grow up -- and Cancer is the mother. Unfortunately, Cancer is attracted to the opposite sign on the zodiac wheel -- Capricorn -- because she wants someone to bring home the bacon so that she can create a secure nest for the kids. With Gemini, she just has another mouth to feed but not someone who will be a reliable provider.

In Jungian psychology, the archetype of the Puer Aeternus refers to the immature person who does not want to cope with adult responsibilities. Gemini and its ruling planet Mercury are associated with Peter Pan and the puer archetype. Wendy, of course, is the mother of the lost boys, fulfilling the Cancer role. She cannot stay in Neverland, though, because she feels the call to grow up. (Maturity and responsibility are associated with Capricorn, and its ruling planet Saturn).

Cancer may feel "at home" caring for a Gemini, but she's not terribly happy with it. When you're a wife, you want a husband, not an adult-child. As Burt writes, "If she ends up with a Peter Pan ... she often makes the best of it and sighs a lot" (p. 123).

Burt, Kathleen. (1997) Archetypes of the Zodiac. LLewellyn Publications.

Comment Below: Have you been the Wendy to a Peter Pan?

Discuss Gemini-Cancer compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, cancer, gemini

What is an opinion, but a belief buttressed by a bunch of facts? An opposing opinion on the same spectrum can be supported by a different set of facts. Whether you're discussing abortion, affirmative action or school vouchers, there's always a statistic that will back up your argument.

This, my friends, is what Gemini lives for. This mutable air sign has the flexibility to backup either side of a debate with supporting facts, poll results and demographic statistics. Gemini's planetary ruler, Mercury, has no values. This shape-shifting planet is not attached to opinions. Therefore, Gemini has the freedom to be the devil's advocate, to choose the opposing perspective and challenge you with counter-arguments to weaken your case. He does not necessarily disagree with you or think that you're wrong, but he laughs at those who are so enamored of a theory or philosophy that they refuse to acknowledge the facts that don't fit into their worldview.

Labels: astrology, gemini

I am a guest blogger at Ask Dan and Jennifer, a popular blog about dating, relationships and sex. This week's post is How to Win Back a Gemini. Please visit them and leave as many insightful comments on my post as you do here!

Labels: askdanandjennifer, astrology, gemini

Having no impulse control, the Aries man wants to get off NOW. After all, the first sign of the zodiac symbolizes the initial "burst" of life. (It's up to Taurus to till the soil.) What, then, of his Gemini woman? The sign of the Twins is ruled by "quick on his feet" Mercury. (The messenger of the gods wouldn't keep his job long if he took his sweet time.)

Miss Gemini gets bored in the sack easily without frequently changing it up, but will be disappointed if the sex is over too quickly. So the challenge is to prolong the inevitable, at least long enough to make sure she gets her needs met, too. (Contrary to Aries' belief, other people do have needs. It's just that meeting them is not as urgent as it is for you!)

Since we all know that Gemini is a master manipulator (with her hands ... the rest belongs to Scorpio), she may want to keep her digits to herself lest she get into a sticky situation. That means either satisfying herself or convincing Aries that he'll get something out of pleasing her. Aries does rule the head, so this is where the foreplay begins. Miss Gemini can give him a scalp massage. And while his head is arm's distance from Gemini's, surely he can keep her entertained as well.

Labels: aries, astrology, gemini

Scorp submitted a birth time for the empty Seventh House case study (click chart to view).

You have no planets anywhere near your Seventh House of partnership. All we have to go with is Gemini on your Descendant, or Seventh House cusp. This means that, at the time of your birth, the sign of Gemini was setting on the Western horizon. The sign on the Descendant is always opposite the Rising Sign, which in your case is Sagittarius. Your Rising sign relates to your persona, your physical appearance, how you relate to the world. The sign on the Descendant signifies what you look for in a partner or a partnership. This sign balances out the qualities of your Rising sign.

As a Sag Rising, you are perceived as optimistic, inspiring, a seeker of meaning. Whereas Sagittarius is interested in the Big Ideas, Gemini is attracted to small bits of information. As Sag seeks experiences abroad, Gemini explores the neighborhood. If Sag studies Plato, Gemini reads Page Six.

Gemini is the sign of the Twins. With this sign on the cusp of the Seventh House, you may have two partners, or you may be frequently split in your attentions between two people. As Gemini is a sign known for being superficial or fickle, you may quickly lose interest in a partner, constantly seeking out someone new to stimulate your curiosity. You may also be drawn to Gemini types: writers, journalists, teachers, dexterous people who work with their hands.

For more information on type of person to whom you are attracted, we look at the planet that rules Gemini, Mercury. Your Mercury is in Scorpio at the end of your Tenth House of Career, about 4 degrees shy of the cusp of your Eleventh House of Friends and Groups. You may be drawn to Scorpios like yourself, especially someone involved in associations to which you belong.

Your Mercury is sextile (a 60-degree angle) Jupiter in Virgo in your Ninth House of Travel, Philosophy and Higher Education. This sextile offers a beneficial bridge between these planets of Large (Jupiter) and Small (Mercury), and these planets also happen to be the rulers of your Ascendant (you) and Descendant (your partner). This means there's a good connection based on curiosity and intellectual rapport.

Labels: ascendant, astrology, gemini, jupiter, mercury, sagittarius, seventh house

There's nothing worse than a bored Gemini. She's not going to stick around long if you can't keep her attention. And unlike her sister air sign Aquarius, she cannot maintain her focus on one idea for more than, say ... two seconds. (OK, I'm slightly exaggerating. Slightly.)

She knows herself well enough to ditch any guy or gal who can't follow her mile-a-minute thought process. If you're on a first date with a Gemini, you may well be under close scrutiny -- she'll be testing you to see if you're interesting enough for more than one evening.

For starters ... if you're still thinking up a witty comment regarding the topic she discussed a minute ago, you're too late. If you're not on the ball, you're better off with a methodical Taurus than a speedy Gemini.

To Gemini, intelligence can mean thinking quickly on your feet. But a person born under this Mercury-ruled sign is also drawn to facts for their own sake. Think Jeopardy! Can you compete against her in a game of Trivial Pursuit? How many Wikipedia entries have you edited this month? If your mind is not a container of meaningless trivia, you may not be the man or woman for her.

Also, do you have anything interesting to say? Although she obviously requires a good listener, the Gemini woman thrives on learning new things and keeping up on the juiciest news. She'll value you for the latest gossip or a story that keeps her enthralled. If you can't cough up the goods, better to spend your time with a Capricorn.

The more sensual Gemini will inspect your hands, play with your fingers, trace the lines on your palm. God knows what she's looking for, but she's knows it when she sees it.

Comment below: Have you passed the test?

Labels: astrology, gemini

This couple is like an old lady and a little kid. One feels like she's been through it all, and the other can't get enough! Slow and fast, grounded and scattered ... what can possibly keep these two together?

Yes, we are more than our Sun signs, and any number of planetary combinations can compensate for this mix-up. But it's hard not to rubberneck when passing a collision between a Capricorn and a Gemini.

These two signs are quincunx each other -- an off-center 150-degree angle that makes it hard for both signs to see eye-to-eye. Cap is a cardinal (initiating) Earth sign, Gemini is a mutable (dispersing) Air sign. They're incompatible by both element and mode.

However a Cap and Gemini get together, it's easy to see why they may not last as a couple. Capricorn has a clear goal in sight, and is focused and dedicated in her path towards attaining it. Gemini is an ADD kid in a candy shop, so excited by all the different flavors that he can't stay in one place for more than a moment.

Both signs have their strengths, but by the end of a relationship, they'll only see each other's faults. Gemini will resent Capricorn for her inhibitions and rigidity, while Cap will look down on Gemini's lack of focus and inability to commit.

After the ambulance has departed, Gemini will dish to his buddies how long it took for Cap to warm up in bed, while Capricorn will share with her closest confidante that she felt more like a parent than a partner.

Comment below: Share your Gemini-Capricorn experiences, or discuss Gemini-Capricorn compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, breakups, capricorn, gemini

This post was written by Jara aka BlahBlah, who writes for 'Seduction Central' on Saturdays. (Thanks, Jeff!)

Disclaimer: This blog entry is for humorous and educational purposes only. Adhere to the following advice at your own risk.

Ah, air signs. So breezy. So much fun. So deceptively low maintenance. Who would want to break up with one? If the answer to that question is you, then you're in luck. Here's an easy-breezy guide to how to get out of your relationship with a gregarious Gemini, likeable Libra or abstract Aquarius.

The Breakup Strategy

Geminis are probably the most difficult of the three air signs to break up with because you are in a relationship with (at least) two people who happen to have the same face. Yes, the Twins are a handful. You probably fell in love with the charming twin. The Charmer is the smooth talker that always manages to say the right thing at the right time. You've tried to break up with Gemini before, but The Charmer kept you coming back for more. The other twin makes you remember why you wanted to end the relationship in the first place. Let's call this one The Actor. The Actor will try on different moods to provoke a certain response out of his audience (in this case, you). Why? Purely for entertainment purposes. The difficulty in breaking up with Gemini comes in if you're not prepared to handle both of the Twins at the same time (either one can appear and disappear at will). Don't try to break up with The Charmer by having a two-way conversation. This twin will just talk you out of your decision. Send a quick "we're over" text message or email. The Charmer will appreciate the brevity and try to contact you. Don't pick up the phone, answer the door or respond to any written communications. After two weeks, The Charmer will have moved on to someone or something else. Leaving The Actor is harder because this twin has a seemingly endless amount of scripts to choose from. This one will enjoy the drama of the breakup and milk it for all it's worth. When you're emotional, he acts like he couldn't care less. When you're distant, he's passionate. And so on...The Actor has more stamina than The Charmer. Expect to hear back from him for a long time after the official breakup.

Breaking up with Libra is relatively easy. Make the breakup as pleasant as possible. This sign does not handle anger well at all, and can be very unpredictable when agitated. For example, Libra could snap and start smashing plates, only to act as if nothing out of the ordinary happened 10 seconds later. In other words, don't get Libra upset. The best way to keep Libra in a pleasant mood is to create a beautiful atmosphere for the breakup. Take Libra to his or her favorite restaurant (public places are great for keeping Libra's anger in check because they don't like making scenes). Keep the enjoyable conversation flowing (helps set up the sneak attack later). Casually mention your solo future plans. Libra will notice the lack of "we" in your plans and ask you about it. Use this as your opener to discuss why you think it's best for both of you to explore other opportunities for happiness (don't worry, Libra understands euphemisms). Resist suggestions to go to couples counseling. Don't answer the "What can I do to make things better?" question Libra is surely to ask. Whatever you do, don't blame Libra. This will make Libra defensive and start a passive-aggressive, never-ending (although reasonable) debate that you have no chance in hell of winning (unless you're a Gemini). Remember to tell Libra that you have no hard feelings and would like to remain friends (regardless of whether this is true or not). If you don't care to take this long route down Breakup Blvd., then simply forget your manners at all times and/or introduce Libra to her dream date. She'll thank you in the future by sending you an invitation to their wedding.

There are two types of Aquarians. The optimal breakup strategy differs according to which Aquarian you're trying to dump. There's the Aquarian ruled by Saturn (keywords: structure, convention) that is now used to being in a relationship and will resist change. Then there's the more widely known version of Aquarius ruled by Uranus (keywords: free-thinking, unconventional) that already has one foot out the door. Obviously, the latter doesn't require much convincing to accept his walking papers. Tell him it's been fun, but you've outgrown the relationship. However, the Saturn-ruled Aquarius...now that's another story. She will hate that she's emotionally dependent on you, but will still try to hold onto the relationship. Be prepared to watch the inner battle Aquarius wages with himself over this contradiction. Contrary to popular belief, Aquarians don't dislike being in relationships. They dislike being in confining relationships. Paradoxically, if you allowed them their freedom to come and go as they please, they will not give up the relationship without a fight. After all, Aquarius is a fixed sign and can be very stubborn. The easiest way to get an Aquarius to let go is to start restricting freedoms (think prison guard), become a professional nagger (think PMS-ing Mommy), and take every opportunity to treat others as if they're beneath you (think royalty). Remember to maintain a holier than thou attitude while fighting to keep the status quo of inequality for all, and you won't have to worry about spending your Saturdays participating in another peace protest or recycle program against your will ever again.

The Ex-Files

Geminis can be the exes from heaven or hell. It really depends on what you liked most about them. If you enjoyed their stimulating company and all the funny jokes they cracked, you'll have a friend for life. If you expected to have a white, picket-fence house, 2.5 kids, and a dog named Skippy with your Gemini, then the relationship probably left a bitter aftertaste in both of your mouths. Regardless of whether things ended on good or bad terms, prepare to be bad-mouthed whenever someone asks Gemini why things didn't work out between you two. File for full custody of the children.

You're probably still a bit in love with your Libra ex. That's OK. It happens to the best of us. Why does this happen? Well, Libra probably spent most of the time being (or trying to be) your ideal mate, so it's hard to let go of that fantasy. And it doesn't help matters that she still flirts with you as if it's your first date. Libra will probably work out a fair custody agreement re: the children. Don't expect to be the favorite parent.

If you're a fire or air sign, you're still good friends with your Aquarius ex - meaning you speak to him every several months or so to play catch up. If you're a water or earth sign, you're wondering why you feel as if you were temporarily abducted by aliens. Aquarius will want to be on good terms with you, but you won't understand why.

How did your relationship with a Gemini, Libra or Aquarius end? Did the end of your relationship with an air sign leave you windswept or walking on clouds?

Labels: aquarius, astrology, breakups, gemini, libra

Christy provided a birth time (not 100% accurate, but we'll work with it!) and writes,

Ok well the last few years have been crazy when it comes to my love life. I've been single for about a year and maybe about a month ago i was on line and i started to talk to this guy who is over sea's and is in the military. I have taken a liking to him. But i know he has a lot of female friends. But before this goes any further i want to know should i get my hopes up?

Your chart does indicate attraction to a military man. Aries -- the sign of war -- is on the cusp of your 7th House of Partnership. Its ruler, Mars, is in Virgo, the sign of the military (armed services). The house placement of your Venus -- which suggests where you find love -- is the 9th House of Faraway Places (Overseas).

The day you wrote me (8/2), transiting retrograde Venus in Virgo was conjunct your natal Jupiter. You were probably feeling optimistic and hopeful (Jupiter) about love (Venus), yet also somewhat cautious (Virgo) and hesitant to move forward (retrograde). Venus goes direct on September 8, which is a good time to proceed with new relationships. However, note that Saturn enters Virgo on September 2 and conjoins your Jupiter later the same month, squelching your feeling that there are boundless opportunities. And next year, Saturn will conjoin your natal Mars (signifying this Pisces man), resulting in obstacles toward fulfillment of your desires ... or perhaps a serious commitment.

Comment below: Should Christy get her hopes up about this Pisces military man?

Labels: astrology, gemini, pisces

In a man's chart, Venus represents the type of (young) woman to whom he is attracted. The mythological Venus is Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty. The planetary Venus does not travel beyond two zodiac signs from one's Sun, meaning that a man with Venus in Cancer can only be a Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo or Virgo.

In general, this man will be drawn to a maternal type, a woman who will nurture him with her cooking or with her sensitive attendance to his emotional needs. The Cancer figure tends to be on the shapely side -- think of the stereotypical mother's warm bosom.

A Cancer man will obviously be the most straightforward to please in this manner, as his Venus seeks similar expression to his Sun. However, when a man's Sun sign is different than his Venus sign, attraction gets more complicated.

A Leo man likes glitz and glamour, and his attraction to a shy, empathic cuddle bunny may be at odds with his desire to be seen in public with a trophy wife who serves as an accessory to boost his image. To attract this type of man, one would need to encase the caretaker in a slinky dress -- to be the wild Moon to his Sun.

A Virgo man may be more comfortable with his Venus in Cancer, as both signs are on the introverted side. However, his critical tendencies and analytical mindframe are not at home in the world of emotions. He may project his Venus onto a woman (meaning that he disowns his Venus and makes a woman "take the Cancer on" for him) and then end up hurting her feelings by picking her apart. To attract this type of man, one would need to have enough self-confidence to not take his feedback personally, yet be receptive to his home cooking reviews ... if they have any merit.

A Gemini man may have a hard time incorporating his Venus in Cancer because his propensity towards variety and exploration threatens the part of him that craves emotional security. He consciously wants to play the field, yet he's drawn to a woman who wants him to stay at home with her to watch the Lifetime channel. To attract this type of man, one needs to be able to be caring without being smothering, and to provide a home base without insisting that he's home all the time.

A Taurus man may have the easiest time with his Venus in Cancer (other than the Cancer man). Both Taurus and Cancer crave security and safety. Taurus grooves on being fed and nurtured. He may not be as emotional as the woman to whom he is attracted, but if she can translate her love into sensual acts and the creation of home-made knick knacks, she's sure to have his heart.

Labels: astrology, cancer, gemini, leo, taurus, venus, virgo

geminisensualwoman provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

About two years ago, give or take I got involved with a Scorpio man (Nov) six years younger. He had been trying to get my attention before, but I hadn't noticed him. We started talking a little bit after he started dating his girlfriend (about a month) and made his interest obvious even when she's around. Sometimes he looks around for me or calls or just shows up. He gets mad when other guys flirt with me even though I don't respond.

Sometimes he asks my whereabouts and tells me where he is. We have such strong chemistry, it's almost like we are vibing each other without words. Often I may be texting him and he calls at the same time or I walk out side and he drives up. We can see each other at times 'cause were both secretive (around some people) and vibe off of one another and not say a word. Were different, but similar which is somewhat weird.

Sometimes when I'm out and run into him, he looks at me like he's mesmerized or something, then he hangs around to see me. His girlfriend and him have broken up off and on. I believe they are broke up now. No offense, but she's seems kind of puppetish. I think she's too easy or immature for him. Now last year he said we couldn't be together (not that I asked), but then comes around and wants to be around me or calls constantly sometimes. He says we live too close to one another to be together, he still lives with parents, but is very mature for his age.
Basically he goes back and forth with himself. Once he said he had feelings and he was getting caught up, I was like WOW after only a few months.

I will admit sometimes I will be nonchalant because of the situation, I don't care to get hurt. I let him see some of me, but not all. When I'm sure, I can and will open up to him. Our sex is so intense and passionate and he loves for me to seduce him, but he also does it to me too. We've been intimate for over two years now and he's opening up here and there over time, but my question is will he eventually want a serious relationship with me or is he just enjoying the sex? I'm willing to see where this can go, I really love being around him and would love to be with him....only if he wants to be with me though...

Let me get this straight ... he won't go out with you because you live too close to one another?

It appears that you two don't acknowledge publicly that you are sexually involved. You are his little secret, and I bet you'd like be recognized as his girlfriend. You don't really want to just "vibe" off each other via covert glances.

You may have heard the saying, "Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?" I think you're putting out too easily. I don't mean this in a judgmental way -- sex for its own sake is fine, if you have the right temperament. But you are protecting yourself, only letting him see a part of you.

The culprit may be a lack of boundaries. Your Moon is in Pisces, the watery sign that wants to merge with everything. It is in a stressful 90-degree angle (called a "square") with Neptune, the modern ruler of Pisces. Neptune is the Martyr, the Great Dissolver. When you combine such a porous Moon with the planet that knows no boundaries, you get both an emotional sponge and a doormat. You are exquisitely sensitive and vulnerable, yet you lack the tools to protect yourself from being walked on. (A 135-degree sesquiquadrate from Saturn to your Moon may help you build walls.)

So despite sensual Taurus rising, affectionate Venus in stimulation-seeking Gemini and sexual Mars in playful Leo, you're not really cut out for passionate sex unless your emotional vulnerability is cradled like a newborn.

Basically, I think you're deluding yourself. If he really wanted to be your boyfriend, he would have asked you. Maybe he doesn't think you're appropriate as a girlfriend, or maybe he doesn't have the incentive to make it official since he's already getting laid.

Currently, transiting Pluto is in your Eighth House of Intimate Sex, opposing your Sun and Venus in Gemini. Scorpio themes abound, as Pluto is this sign's modern ruler; the Eighth House is naturally associated with Scorpio; and Scorpio sits on the cusp of your Seventh House of Partnership (hence your attraction to this sign). It's fitting that this Scorpio man is in your life, as he may represent the Plutonic in your life.

During this transit, you have the opportunity to undergo a major overhaul regarding how you approach relationships, and you can start to uncover how your sense of self-worth (Second House) as an individual as well as a woman (Sun and Venus, respectively) relates to your sexual activity.

Related:

• Gemini and Scorpio reasons for breakup
• What is Gemini woman supposed to do with a hot black-eyed Scorpio man?
• Gemini-Scorpio compatibility discussion in the forum

Comment below to offer geminisensualwoman feedback.

Labels: astrology, gemini, pluto, scorpio

Danielle provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

My two major relationships have been with Taurus sun sign men. However I am finding that what happened in my first partnership is happening in my current, My sex drive is to large for my boyfriend(venus taurus/asc leo/ moon aquarius), I feel insatiable and often rejected and as a result the communication and often my self is image is suffering. I feel like there is something I should be doing to bridge this gap and make things flow easier. I have toned down my sexuality but the less frequent sex is creating alot of extra nervous energy. Any ideas?

You have sexual Scorpio Rising, with its traditional ruler, Mars, conjunct your Gemini Sun. A Mars-Sun conjunction alone brings lots of drive and energy to one's self-expression. However, this conjunction is opposed by a Jupiter-Uranus-Moon conjunction in Sagittarius. Jupiter expands your sexual energy (Mars), and electric Uranus stimulates it, resulting in an excess of "nervous energy" if it is not channeled appropriately. Jupiter-Mars goes overboard, and Uranus-Mars is reckless, restless, impatient -- it wants to get off any old way, however unconventional or boundary-crossing. This opposition is occurring in your First and Seventh Houses, those of self and relationship, your needs and your partner's.

Currently, your progressed Moon is at 28 Libra, stimulating a yod (both Saturn and Neptune quincunx Chiron in Taurus, exactly conjunct Descendant). This progression may bring up wounds (Chiron) regarding your ability to experience sensual pleasures (Taurus) in relationship (Descendant).

In addition to being the ruler of your chart, Mars also rules your Fifth House of Play and Creativity. I think the key to siphoning off some of your excess sexual energy is to sublimate it through art. You're a Gemini, so writing could be one way -- but I don't think that's enough. Gemini is too mental to work off such biological drives -- you'd need to do physical activity. First off -- if you don't do this already -- trying jilling off. It should help you get by until the next time your Taurus man is horny. You could also trying working with your hands (Gemini) in some way -- to make something tangible (Taurus) that expresses the themes of philosophy/travel/faith (Jupiter and Sag) and rebellion/revolution (Uranus).

Comment below with your feedback, or discuss Taurus-Gemini compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, gemini, taurus

Sandyshoes provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

42-yr old Cancer man, never previously married, says he's simply never met "the right woman" before. I'm divorced and a single parent. We've dated 5 months and he says he loves me and feels a connection stronger than any he's ever experienced before. He talks about a future, he makes time to be with me and my child, he is sensitive and nurturing and sweet and the sex is superb. Usually I get hung up on intellectual types -- this man is intelligent but does not live in his head. He is very domestic and appeals to me on a level I've never felt before, very emotional and physical. He gives me butterflies and makes me feel weak at the knees. We are so different -- I am high-strung and restless (but a VERY good cook) while he is quiet and laid-back. Can it work for us? He touches me deeply and I know that I touch him, but whereas he is open to discussing any issues that arise for ME, he tends to withdraw a little and go cool rather than tell me when something has upset HIM. And he won't admit that he's jealous but I get the sense that he is -- and I am a very social person who strikes up conversations and gets smiles or greetings from complete strangers. I feel this makes him uncomfortable but he won't admit it.

Although Gemini and Cancer are typically not a good match, your Moon (which rules Cancer) sits at the beginning of your Seventh House of Relationships. You are attracted to a domestically-inclined, emotionally-attuned man. Better yet, an intelligent one with a wide perspective, as Sagittarius sits on your Seventh House cusp. The Crab withdraws into its shell when feeling vulnerable, so do not be too concerned when your Cancer man goes cool.

Jupiter (the ruler of your Sagittarius Descendant) is in Leo in your Third House of Communication, in a stressful square -- or 90-degree angle -- to your Moon. You are a chatty Gemini with a tendency to be the life of the party in social situations. The attention you receive rubs the wrong way with your boyfriend (Jupiter in Third square Moon in Seventh). In addition, you have a tight Sun-Pluto square. The Sun symbolizes the man in your life, and Pluto can be both secretive and possessive. You may have a tendency to draw controlling men into your life -- or at least men who hold their cards close to their chest. As long as this Cancer man doesn't try to dictate your behavior, he sounds appropriate for you. He may just have to deal with his jealousy until he feels sufficiently safe and secure (Cancer) with you, knowing that your flirtatious manner (Venus, Sun, Mars in Gemini) doesn't threaten him.

Jeffrey offers private consultations.

Labels: astrology, cancer, gemini

K.I. provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

Im a Sagittarius and I have been pursuing this Gemini woman for months. Things are very wishy washy and confusing. But she claims she likes me and we're good and Im just "over analyzing". Why Does my Gemini seem to care as long as I'm not the less bit worried about her and on the verge of moving on? She then whips out all her charming and loving traits to get me back on her side.

Gemini is a sign of movement. It's ruling planet is Mercury, messenger of the gods. Gemini governs communication, transportation -- transferring goods from one place to another, sharing information between people. Gemini does not sit still -- it is not in this sign's nature.

As a sign that seeks stimulation and variety, commitment is not all that appealing to Gemini. When you give her space, you are more attractive to her. This can be frustrating, since you have several planets in Capricorn. You crave consistency, especially with your Moon (emotional needs) and Venus (love and relationships) in this sober sign. Yet, Gemini is the epitome of inconsistency.

As a former member of The Police once said, "If you love somebody, set them free." You can call on your freedom-loving Sagittarius Sun widely conjunct Uranus -- planet of independence -- to lure your Gemini back when your heavy Capricorn planets push her away.

Comment below: Share your experiences with -- and insights about -- Gemini men and women.

Jeffrey offers private consultations.

Labels: astrology, gemini, sagittarius

Dave [yes, finally a guy!] provided his birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

I'm in love with a woman that is an Aquarius, moon in aquarius, mars in aries, venus in aquarius, Aquarius rising and Mercury in Capricorn. When we first met I was cold and distant and she seemed to like it. About 3 months ago I started acting more romantic and it seems like she is put off by it. She has alot of stress in her life right now but she keeps pushing me away in a sense especially the nicer I am to her. Should I just go back to being cool, cold and distant with her?

As long as you stayed with the expression of your Gemini Sun and Aquarius Moon, your Aquarius woman was at ease, for there is little emotional depth to these air signs. However, the warmth of your Mars and Ascendant in Leo, as well as the sentimentality of your Venus in Cancer, apparently scares her away. She is a super-Aquarius, with an independent Mars and a pragmatic Mercury. With no personal planets in water, emotions are unfamiliar territory to her. She may not know how to navigate that realm.

I would hate to advocate for being cool, cold and distant. With Aquarius Rising, she has Leo on her Descendant, and would be attracted to your fire to balance her more detached nature. Her Venus opposite your Mars (by sign) could make for passionate lovemaking, once her need for independence weakens in the face of your dramatic expressions of desire.

Moreso, what kind of relationship can fluorish in such an icy climate? You love her,