anonomys writes,

I'm separated with 2 kids and i joined yahoo personals. This guy Capricorn found me and sent me a wink so i responded and we hit it off instantly!! It's now been a month. he's told me he's scared and he feels comfortable with me. our chemistry is great! the problem is he's separated with 2 boys and i think he might be confused. we've had 4 dates but texting and calling all the time. I feel like i've known him forever and he says the same to me. he also says that it's effortless with me. he told me he doesn't understand how i came into his life. I feel like he does like me and is attracted to me but this past weekend when we were together he left me feeling rejected. We were having sex and he lost his stamina. He continued to be sweet and caress me but then in the morning he became aloof. Then he asked me if i was mad about what happened because i seemed off. I responded no and left soon after. He walked me out, kissed me, and hasn't called me since. That was yesterday morning. He hasn't missed a day yet.

I know he's confused and he has a lot on his plate. i don't know what to do. i'm not going to contact him. is that right? do you think he'll contact me or is he cutting his loses? if i don't hear from him, should i let him know how i felt?

Your Capricorn boyfriend (view chart) has Mars -- planet of sexuality and the male ego -- in well-controlled (and long-lasting) Scorpio. With a placement like this, it is possible that losing his erection during the sexual act is a rare occurrence. Scorpio is a fixed sign, which suggests determination and the ability to "carry it through" until the end.

There are many reasons why a guy might lose his hard-on. Anxiety is a frequent cause. He may have put pressure on himself to perform -- and as a Capricorn, he probably has high expectations of himself. But sometimes a guy can lose it if the moment just doesn't feel right -- his body simply communicates his feelings about the relationship.

Over the weekend, there was a Grand Earth Trine, which means that three planets were in Earth signs, all making supportive 120-degree angles to each other. Pluto has recently entered Capricorn, Saturn just stationed direct at 1 degree Virgo, and Venus recently entered Taurus. Your guy's Mars is at 1 degree Scorpio, so Venus opposed it while Saturn and Pluto are (still) sextiling it. The Venus-Mars influence would have been great for lovemaking, as an opposition between the planets of love and sex creates steam -- and Taurus and Scorpio are two of the sexiest signs in the zodiac. However, Saturn and Pluto are both heavy planets. Their sextile to his Mars wouldn't create lots of stress, but they still have an influence.

Saturn apparently stopped moving backwards this past Friday. Anytime a planet stations retrograde or direct, its archetypal energy is potent. Saturn is your guy's ruling planet, so he would be especially sensitive to its movement. A Saturn-Mars contact can relate to the restriction or obstruction of desire or sexual potency. I imagine this is the culprit. Saturn didn't cause his "lack of stamina" to happen -- we'd have to look at the details of his life to see what's going on, and as I don't have his exact birth time, I don't know what house Saturn is transiting in his chart. But a Saturn station can bring a feeling of deficiency in whichever house it transits.

Regardless, he probably feels shame about what happened, as well as anger -- at himself, maybe even you if he can't "own it." I suggest you be honest with him. Just tell him that you're OK with what happened, that you find him vital and sexy. That you're sure both of you are nervous and excited about where this relationship is going. And that you want to to be there for him to talk about his fears. You (view chart) can do this -- you're a Cancer, after all. And with a Sun-Saturn conjunction, a Cap is an appropriate match for you. So don't let him run away!

~ Jeffrey

Labels: capricorn, mars, scorpio

Autumn provide a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

I was dating a Capricorn "man" about a year and a half my junior for nearly six months when a Leo man (birthday 19 August) I had been interested in for four years began to return my affections. He did so by sending me elaborate messages, letters, and cards explaining his love for me and how it "killed" him to see me with the Capricorn, a very close friend of his. Although it was frightening, I was sort-of “amoured” by his extravagant expressions and I ended up cheating on my boyfriend with him -- nothing more than kissing -- but it was more an affair of the heart.

The Capricorn boyfriend actually witnessed a kiss, but immediately forgave me and told me he loved me and would like to continue the relationship, if I was willing. We dated for a month or so longer, and I broke up with him for the intellectual, enthralling Leo.

The relationship with the Leo began to slowly wither, but occasionally it would spark up again, but he forbade me to tell the Capricorn because they were both good friends. Eventually and inevitably, he found out. Leo immediately stopped calling, stopped message, and completely avoided me. He told me he wanted to break up temporarily, yet still tried to kiss me and always said things such as, "I love you and I want to be with you again" when we departed.

A shocking "back-story" however: The Leo man was "in love" to the point of obsession with the Capricorn for nearly two years. He is a somewhat closeted bisexual, but I feel he prefers males. The Capricorn has "made-out" with the former, but claims that was a youthful mistake and that he is straight.

I regret hurting my beloved Capricorn, with whom I've had a captivating, amazing sex life with and who has always been kind to me and proven that he would be an amazing long-term boyfriend.

I would like to date him again, and he has informed me that he still wants to be with me... he just does not want to date right now. His attitude towards me has understandably changed.

Although the Leo is still claiming he loves me, I have recently, nearly broken off communications with him.

Do you have any advice on how to win back the Capricorn's heart and prove to him that I will be faithful?

Based on our charts, is it even wise to pursue a relationship with him?

Your Capricorn ex has Venus in Scorpio conjunct Pluto. (View his noon time chart to the right.) His love planet is in a possessive, jealous sign and is intensified by the planet of power, control and transformation. In other words, your Cap loves intensely and with his whole being. When his heart is broken, his pain can be profound. It is a testament of his love that he was able to forgive you so easily for kissing the Leo. Perhaps his Mars in Sag understood the nature of sexual wandering.

One of the challenges being in relationship with him is that your Uranus is exactly conjunct his Sun. You may be a constant source of disruption and instability for him. Not an easy experience for a Capricorn, but as his Sun is widely conjunct Uranus in his own chart, he is learning how to integrate a spirit of revolution in his self-expression.

The fact that he still wants to be with you -- some Capricorns never come back to their exes -- is good news. But you may just have to be patient. Capricorns take their time, as they are naturally cautious. And from what you've written, I see no reason why I should tell you whether it's wise to be with him. You obviously love him -- you were just caught off-guard by the extravagant courting of a Leo man. Your Capricorn may not be flashy, but he's got substance and will likely be with you for the long haul once he's ready to take you back.

Labels: capricorn, leo, virgo

He Said/She Said features a love advice question answered by professional astrologers Jessica Shepherd of Moonkissd and Jeffrey Kishner of Seduction Central. After they each provide their perspective, they combine their insight to offer advice they both agree on.

D.R. Millenium writes,

My counselor tells me that when it comes to men, I seem to running away to ones I could me and towards ones I can't. I thought about this long and hard and decided that I just want a different reality- it may be a 7th house thing. The chart of the man is of an actor, a famous one but I'd like to get to know him as a person- all the while respecting his sense of privacy, space, time, constraints all that. I admit to feeling a strong attraction, but also I am afraid to say it, i sense a connection- perhaps we share some of the same cultural history growing up in the same era. I want to know the proper way to pursue meeting or at least contacting this guy with success. I believe that some of us in the outer world are really nice folk and aren't crazed fans. He as a capricorn has life lessons I feel he could teach. He's got a start up IT business too and I respect a go getter! I myself am learning medical coding. He can't give me material things but rather and only those things in his persona that he as a man uniquely posses. I'd love to be advised as to how to pursue, albeit with respect and tact oh and what are my chances with such a suspicious scorpio moon as he 's got. I'm thinking of writing to Oprah Winfrey for advice in the regard to do this properly with respect to him- do you think it's foolhardy? Thanks again ! D.R.

He Said:

Everyone runs in their own circles, whether they're astrologers or famous actors. This doesn't mean we don't make contact with outsiders, but we do need to share similar values and experiences to make a connection. You and the actor were born in the same year, so you do share the same cultural history, as you said. You both have Water-sign Moons (yours in Cancer and his in Scorpio) and yin Suns (your in Pisces and his in Capricorn). Your Cancer Moon is in a tight opposition with his Capricorn Sun, which suggests a potentially deep connection.

But these factors may only explain your feeling of resonance with the actor. After all, one of the reasons famous actors become and stay famous is that they are good hooks for our projections, our fantasies. This actor has a First House Neptune -- planet of image and film -- within five degrees of his Ascendant. People see what they want to see in him. And you're quite Neptunian yourself, with an imaginative Pisces Sun trine natal Neptune.

OK, so I've established that he's good fantasy material. But you want more. I won't say that successfully courting him is impossible, but here's my realistic assessment:

• He probably has millions of fans swooning over him.
• With a Capricorn Sun and Scorpio Moon, he probably will be suspicious of anyone who tries to get close to him. He's got cash -- how does he know a woman wants him for something other than the trappings of fame?
• Have you looked at his Wikipedia entry? What if he has a girlfriend?

That being said, probably the most tactful way to make contact is to send a letter expressing your admiration of his work and offering a reflection of what you may have in common, coming from the same generation. And leave Oprah out of the picture.

She Said:

To read Jessica's response to the same question, visit Moonkissd -- then read They Said for their bottom line advice!

To submit your burning love question, email Jessica with "he said, she said" in the subject line, or complete Jeffrey's form.

They Said:

Take a step back and explore the power of your fantasies and projections. Famous Actor may not be as accessible as you hope, no matter how tactfully you approach him. There are many cool guys -- who share your background and orientation towards life -- in your own neck of the woods.

Jeffrey and Jessica are available for astrology consultations. Check out their respective websites for details.

Related post: Do Pisceans want what they cannot have?

Labels: capricorn, he said she said, pisces

Lauren included her exact birth time and her fiance's birth date (click chart to view) and writes,

Well me and him have been together for almost 2 years and he asked me to marry him. But im always looking at the internet b/c i love astrology. my problem is everyone and everything i read is telling me that me and him arent the right match and that aqurious men get bored of a cap female. but me and him get along great and we have the same thoughts about everything and have interests in almost everything. so maybe you can help and tell me wether or not a cap female and a aqurious male is a good match. i mean im going to marry him no matter what is said cuz you cant believe everything right? lol

One of the dangers of popular astrology is that it stops at the surface. Yes, Capricorn and Aquarius Suns are not compatible: in the progression of the zodiac, the latter rebels against the rigid hierarchical structures built by the former. However, there is so much more to compatibility than Sun signs. Even though the Sun is the center of the personality, some would argue that -- when it comes to romantic love -- this celestial body is not even the most important ... or at the very least, comparing one Sun to another does not provide critical information. Love compatibility meters abound on the web, and however fun it is to work the drop-down menus to choose the Sun signs for yourself and your love interest, it can be discouraging to read that you're not a great match.

Fortunately, you know what you want and won't let superficial astrology deter you from marrying the man you love. Despite your Sun sign incompatibility, you actually do resonate on many levels. You both have communication planet Mercury in Aquarius, charting your discussions on a similarly deviant path. You and your fiancé like to utter shocking words and to think ahead of the times, making your conversations exciting and unpredictable. In addition, you both have the emotional Moon in cautious Virgo. Your mutual needs and habits are in sync, and you are likely to co-create an orderly, clean home and an efficient daily routine. The potential downside with this lunar placement is that you'll both overanalyze your emotions and have trouble transcending worry and doubt to get your raw feelings out in the open.

Just as you have a planet in Aquarius to shake up your Capricorn Sun's sense of purpose, your fiancé has Venus in Capricorn to ground his Aquarian need for excitement. In fact, his love planet is conjunct your Sun, suggesting that you're just the right type of woman for him. And his Mars in Libra is exactly conjunct your Ascendant, increasing the sexual attraction. I wish you both the best of luck!

Related posts:

• Aquarius woman wants Capricorn man back
• Is an Aquarius man/Capricorn woman match a no-go for longevity?
  

Labels: aquarius, capricorn

saggirl provided her birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year. We are both Sags, and this year I will be graduating from school and leaving this city. I give him his space, but I get hurt often because I feel as if, sometimes, he doesn't want to include me in his life. After we get into an argument (which has been frequently, lately) I am usually the one who ends up going back to him, tail between my legs, because I love him (and, also let my insecurities get the best of me). Am I right to be so apologetic?

Although you are a freedom-loving Sagittarius, you need cosiness and security in relationships. Cancer, an emotional sign that needs stability to feel comfortable, is on the cusp of your Seventh House, or Descendant. This is the area of your chart where the western horizon was at the moment of your birth, and it relates to the qualities you look for in a partnership.

Although you consciously identify as a woman who longs for adventure and mind-expanding books, you crave nurturing and an "at-home" feeling with a boyfriend. There's nothing wrong with this -- it's just that you may judge yourself for this yearning. With Venus in Capricorn, you may think you need to keep a stiff upper lip when it comes to love. To show otherwise may be considered a sign of weakness. In addition, you may feel insecure about how lovable (Venus) you are because Capricorn has high expectations that are hard to live up to.

If you're moving away, he may not want to get too close. It's just the beginning of the year, and I imagine your term ends just before summer. Communication is not easy now -- with Mars retrograde in Gemini and Mercury turning retrograde on January 28 -- but you may need to have a direct conversation about where you want to go as a couple. Should you make most of your time together, and then break up when you graduate? Or try a long-distance relationship? If you both can feel comfortable with where you are and where you're going, he may pull away less often.

Labels: cancer, capricorn, sagittarius, seventh house

Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, the planet of delay, as well as success earned after years of effort. After a breakup, you expect Cappy to run back into your arms? Think again.

It doesn't matter who ended the relationship. If you broke the goat's heart, Cap will be even more cautious than usual about asking for another chance. Rejection only makes Capricorn try harder, but would any sane person try to scale the same barbed-wire fence twice?

If Capricorn ditched you, the decision wasn't made lightly. This sign thinks about long-term consequences to any action, as well as how it will affect Cap's reputation and social standing. A decision was made, and it's likely to be the final word.

In the unlikely case that Capricorn returns to you -- well, it could take months or years! Cap may not be as slow as Taurus, but the goat is much more serious. A thorough analysis of benefits and liabilities will be done before Cap makes any moves.

You don't impulsively propose a merger of two corporations. The board of directors has to be convinced that the risk is minimal and that the shareholders will be happy. The deal has to pass muster with the Securities and Exchange Commission. This process doesn't happen overnight ... so in the meantime, keep yourself busy. Check out the Wall Street Journal -- there are other healthy stocks you can invest in.

Comment below: How long did it take your Capricorn to come back?

Labels: astrology, breakups, capricorn

This couple is like an old lady and a little kid. One feels like she's been through it all, and the other can't get enough! Slow and fast, grounded and scattered ... what can possibly keep these two together?

Yes, we are more than our Sun signs, and any number of planetary combinations can compensate for this mix-up. But it's hard not to rubberneck when passing a collision between a Capricorn and a Gemini.

These two signs are quincunx each other -- an off-center 150-degree angle that makes it hard for both signs to see eye-to-eye. Cap is a cardinal (initiating) Earth sign, Gemini is a mutable (dispersing) Air sign. They're incompatible by both element and mode.

However a Cap and Gemini get together, it's easy to see why they may not last as a couple. Capricorn has a clear goal in sight, and is focused and dedicated in her path towards attaining it. Gemini is an ADD kid in a candy shop, so excited by all the different flavors that he can't stay in one place for more than a moment.

Both signs have their strengths, but by the end of a relationship, they'll only see each other's faults. Gemini will resent Capricorn for her inhibitions and rigidity, while Cap will look down on Gemini's lack of focus and inability to commit.

After the ambulance has departed, Gemini will dish to his buddies how long it took for Cap to warm up in bed, while Capricorn will share with her closest confidante that she felt more like a parent than a partner.

Comment below: Share your Gemini-Capricorn experiences, or discuss Gemini-Capricorn compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, breakups, capricorn, gemini

Jara aka BlahBlah writes for 'Seduction Central' on Saturdays. (Thanks, Jeff!)

Disclaimer: This blog entry is for humorous and educational purposes only. Adhere to the following advice at your own risk.

If you've ever been in a relationship with a tender Taurus, virtuous Virgo, or a committed Capricorn, then you know how it feels to be with a partner who wants to be your biggest asset. But what happens when your earth sign mate has become a liability? Here's how to make a clean break with a Taurus, Virgo, or Capricorn:

The Breakup Strategy

Taurus doesn't like change – even if the change is for the better. This quality is what makes breaking up with Taurus challenging, especially for signs that don't like change anymore than Taurus does (that means you, Cancer) or who would prefer that a problem solve itself (yes, I’m talking to you, Pisces). You want the quickest way to break up with Taurus? It doesn’t exist. When you entered into a relationship with Taurus, you made an agreement to be in it for the long haul and you must honor that agreement. This includes enduring a long breakup. Begin by weaning Taurus out of your relationship by failing to cater to the Bull. Stop cooking all those great meals. Don't run any more bubble baths. No more late night massages! If this doesn’t work, try introducing Taurus to someone who cooks better than you.

Breaking up with Virgo is actually very simple. Virgo is a mutable sign, which means that the Virgin easily adapts to new stimuli. In this case, the new stimuli would be you wanting to break up. Expect many questions about how you came to your decision. Although the chain of questions will seem endless, it’s just Virgo's way of gathering more information for future reference. Not answering the questions only inspires more questions, so carve out some time to satiate Virgo's curiosity and you’ll be home free!

Capricorns are usually the ones doing the dumping, so breaking up with them is relatively easy – as long as you let them be the boss of the breakup. Present yourself as a loser without future earning potential or any interest in money or status what-so-ever. No matter how many times the Goat introduces you to a great mentor in your career field, say you're not sure this is the right step for you. The Capricorn will fire you from the relationship for being an unsuitable mate (aka business partner). If you don’t let Capricorn dump you, then look forward to changing jobs, bank accounts, and social security #s in order to protect yourself from the Capricorn wanting to get revenge against you (especially if your goat has Venus in Scorpio).

Ex-files

Unless you broke Taurus' trust, a Taurus ex will probably be in your life forever in some way or another (especially if you have kids together). If you married Taurus without a prenuptial agreement (how'd you manage that?), then be prepared for a long battle in court if you want to leave the marriage with anything Taurus wants to keep, like the car, the house, the kids, or YOU. If you're moving out of the home you’ve built with the Bull, make sure to clearly mark all of your belongings. It will make packing so much easier.

You will enjoy Virgo better after a breakup than you did during the relationship. Not only do you still get the constructive "advice," but Virgo might even help you reorganize your life after it falls apart due to Virgo's highly noticeable absence. If you share children with Virgo, you won't have to fight for joint custody, but you will have to endure Virgo frequently correcting and criticizing your parenting style.

The great thing about a Capricorn ex is that the Goat won’t kiss and tell about your breakup. It will be as if you never existed at all…

How did your relationship with a Taurus, Virgo or Capricorn end? Did the end of your relationship with an earth sign leave you feeling on shaky footing or on solid ground?

Labels: astrology, capricorn, taurus, virgo

People fall in love, they fall out of love. The clouds of fantasy eventually fade away, leaving nothing but the reality of your lover's best and worst traits. If you don't like the "what is" of your partner, were you ever in love in the first place, or were you just in love with the image you created?

A Capricorn man seems the least likely of any other Sun sign member to delude himself. After all, he is ruled by Saturn, the reality principle. If Cap doesn't fall in love until he's made a measured assessment of his partner-to-be, then he's unlikely to have acted impulsively on the basis of unconscious projections.

So, if not disillusionment, what is the source of Capricorn's heart-retreat? This man may not be as cold and calculating as he is reputed to be, but he nonetheless has his own pragmatic way of making life decisions. We often fall out of love when either we or our lover have changed (or not). A Capricorn man prefers slow and steady growth, so he may be turned off by a partner's radical deviation from what he's come to rely upon. Could it be that the withdrawal of his partner's support -- so that he or she can climb their own mountaintop -- results in the passing of a cold wind through Cap's chest?

To a Capricorn, is love more than feeling that your one-and-only helps you rise to partner in the firm?

Labels: astrology, capricorn

Nicki provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

hes got a moon in gemini. mars in taurus. venus in capricorn.

me- i have a moon in aries, mars in aries, venus in saggitarius.

He broke up with me yesterday and then he said he needed some "mental clarity" and then he wanted to call me back in a couple of days. I dont think I need to answer the phone if he calls. . He knows I don't:
1. I'm NEVER friends with exes. (he knows that)
2. I'm NEVER friends with benefits with an ex

said ok to be polite but im trying to figure out what would be the point as he knows i dont believe in friends with exes. So why would he want to call me? i havent decided yet if im gonna pick up if he does but im curious to get others opinions. Thanks! he gave me 2 reasons really. not a BUNCH sorry lol

honestly to me whats the point. he said he needed "mental clarity". i feel like he couldve gotten mental clarity with a break, not a break up. he never actually came out and said it. i had to ask him if i was single. then he got snappy and was like yea do whatever you want.

How do I get him back?

This guy didn't break up with you -- he just said he wanted time to think for a few days, and then he'd get back to you. In your Aries Moon/Mars/Asc impulsivity, you essential cut him off at the pass. You tried to clarify your relationship status, and he responded defensively.

Now you are wondering if you should even pick up the phone, because you're never friends with exes. With an Eleventh House Aquarius Sun, friends must be very important to you. Yet the combination of your Aquarian inflexibility with a square from all-or-nothing Pluto in your Seventh House of Relationships results in rigid boundaries. No doubt the Plutonic realm in relationships (jealousy, possessiveness) can feel threatening, but ruling out friendship with former lovers only protects you from growing up. In addition, having decided not to be friends with someone who just needs some time off removes the possibility of dialogue with this Capricorn man.

If you want to get him back, don't be so darn stubborn.

Comment below to give Nicki feedback.

Discuss Capricorn-Aquarius compatibility in the forum.

Labels: aquarius, astrology, capricorn

What kind of responsiveness does a Virgo woman want from any man? She'd want her guy to both notice the effort she puts into making the home organized and clean, and to help out in the maintenance of that level of orderliness. On a more personal level -- despite her modesty -- she may want to be valued for the attention she gives to her appearance, as well as the behind-the-scenes work she does to make everything run smoothly.

A Capricorn man is not likely to "tune out" at home like a Pisces, but he may -- after a long day at work -- sit on the couch and read the Wall Street Journal instead of attend to dust bunnies. He wants order like Virgo, but on a higher level -- the structure of organizations, rather than the structure of the shoe closet.

In his quest to increase his status in the world, he may not be so concerned with the details of mundane life, except to the extent that they help facilitate his ascent. He will, however, take pride in providing security to his partner, and as a Virgo woman can sometimes be a little O.C. (that's obsessive-compulsive, not Orange County), his Capricornian consistency can help reduce her worries.

How to get the Capricorn man to be more responsive: Suggest he host a business-related cocktail mixer at your home. It would have to be on a weekend, so that he can help participate in the preparation: helping you clean, giving you feedback on your attire -- he will, after all, be invested in having everything "look good." In addition, he won't be able to take for granted the work that goes into such a production.

Comment below with your ideas, or contribute to the Virgo-Capricorn compatibility discussion in the forum.

Labels: astrology, capricorn, virgo

mona provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

i met this wonderful man n i am in love with him. . we been dating like a year now but i been reading all these theories that libra n caprocorn will not matched. i am worry. my question will be what i can do to fortify thsi relationship

You're worried, based on what an astrologer says? Hogwash! Trust your own experience, mona! Astrology is just a system, not the truth.

You have Pisces on the cusp of your Seventh House of Partnership. Jupiter, the traditional ruler of Pisces, is in Capricorn in your Fifth House of Romance and Play, conjunct Mars. Mars in a woman's chart signifies the type of young man to whom she is attracted. Hence, the sign placement of both Mars and Jupiter correspond with your attraction to this hard-working sign.

Jupiter and Mars in Capricorn 'make' you productive and results-oriented, hence this aspect of yourself jibes with your boyfriend. Your Mars may even drive him to succeed, depending on the degree of his Capricorn Sun.

In a way, whatever challenges you'd have with a Capricorn man, you'd also have within yourself. Your Libra Sun's purpose is to find balance and beauty, to socialize and to please. Yet your Mars, which acts to fulfill your Sun's will, goes about it in a purposeful, pragmatic way, with little concern for feelings as he moves his way to the top.

Currently, transiting Saturn is making a square (or 90-degree angle) to your natal Venus, planet of love. If you want to fortify your relationship, this is the time to do it, as Saturn is all about building and strengthening bonds that are meant to last. However, to do this you have to let go of relationship patterns that weigh you down. It's up to you to determine what those are by doing an inventory of your current and past relationships. Looking at your love life seven years ago -- when Saturn was opposing your Venus -- will help provide some clues regarding how this current transit will play out.

Discuss Libra-Capricorn compatibility in the forum, or below in the comments.

Labels: astrology, capricorn, libra, saturn

LeeLee writes,

I am a Gemini lady who has the hots for a Cap guy. Problem is I am a few years older than him--but still attractive and very "lively". This man has shown some interest in me and I catch him watching me a lot at work, but we have never made any outright moves on each other. I try to show him I care by being interested in his well-being and generally showing concern for him but I think my master plan has backfired. He has started calling me MAMMA! I'm not sure if he means "hot mamma" or that I'm acting like I'm his MOTHER! I'd like to laugh but I'm not really sure this is funny... Any ideas?

Work-places romances come with a stigma. They are frowned upon in some company policies, and it sucks having to see your ex everyday at the office. But there's more to it. The office is kind of like a family. We bring our old issues to this adult environment, where we often spend more waking hours than we do with our roommates or loved ones. It is natural to project our childhood stuff onto our colleagues. Hence, sleeping with a co-worker can have incestuous overtones. If your colleagues find out, it's like your siblings have learned your secret. Do they tell the Boss (Mom/Dad)?

For a Capricorn, work is sacrosanct. It is nearly his identity. So, he may be even more loathe than others to sleep with a co-worker. This conservative sign doesn't want to risk the security of his career.

Are you being maternal? Words like concern and well-being have a care-taking flavor to them. Using solar houses, nurturing Cancer is on Capricorn's seventh house of partnership. He does look for the mothering type to balance his more dry orientation, someone who can bring the feeling element into his life. But Taurus sits on his fifth house of lovers. If you want a fling, it is better to be sensual than doting. If you have the hots for him, why are you not being flirtatious, instead?

It should be easy to tell the difference between "mother" and "hot mamma" when he calls you Mamma. Tone of voice, the look in his eye -- these are cues to which you can pay attention. He may be using the mother sense of "Mamma" to put up a safe wall, stating (unconsciously) that work-place relationships are a no-no. Or, he may be teasing, calling you on your Cancer moves, when he wants something more earthy. Only observation -- or a direct question -- will give you that answer.

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Labels: astrology, capricorn

I am a Cap woman with Cancer moon. Cap mercury and Cap mars, Sag venus.

My love interest is an Aquarius man , Aquarius mercury and Aquarius mars, and Sag venus. The thing is he can either be an Aquarius or Pisces moon. Not sure if he's an evening birth.

If not longevity, what can [one] expect from this coupling?

Capricorn and Aquarius do not good bedfellows make. You may be a woman, but you represent The Man: authority, restrictions, rules. For Aquarius, rules are made to be broken. Your love interest is a revolutionary, not a suit-and-tie.

If you're of the Uranus-in-Libra generation (circa 1968-1975), the ruler of Aquarius may be squaring some or all of your Capricorn/Cancer planets. This aspect would give you an Uranian vibe to counteract your more conservative CapCance nature. You would have your own internal conflict between the need to be unconventional versus the need to strive towards material success. How else could one explain your attraction to the Water Bearer?

In general, any two consecutive signs in the zodiac are as different as can be. They share neither element nor quality. There is scant likelihood of compatibility unless there are other chart factors to account for the attraction. If you're not Uranian, then your Aquarius must be Saturnian, familiar with the heaviness of your Sun sign.

The good news? Both of you are adventurous in love (with Venus in Sag), so ski trips and flights to Burma may keep the fire burning bright, as long as your dry disposition doesn't extinguish the flame.

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Labels: aquarius, astrology, capricorn, compatibility

Do age differences matter? Traditionally, an older man provides financial security and a well-developed life perspective. He may also bring a sagging libido, a receding hairline, and dated pop culture references. However, zodiac combinations tell a more diverse story. An older Scorpio man may not ever lose his sex drive, and young Capricorns aren't really youthful, anyway. Cap is ruled by Saturn, the planet of aging and maturity. Capricorns are forced to take on responsibility and overcome adversity at an early age, making them more seasoned than their peers. The older Scorpio is unlikely to find a young Cap who hasn't thought long and hard about what she wants out of her life. Hence, they may both be "settled" to a similar degree.

The older Scorpio male is still prone to jealousy, imagining that his doe is eyeing males her own age. However, he can probably rest assured. Capricorns have been known to cheat, but overall they are a faithful bunch. Besides, she is attracted to her Scorpio man's power and charisma.

Overall, these two make a good pair. The woman may not want to take as many sexual risks as her older lover, but they can share a satisfying love life. If the man still has staying power, they can go at it for hours -- Cap is slow and steady, while Scorp has drive and perseverance. Put together this emotionally intense man and high-achieving woman, and who knows what can happen?

Comment below: What's your experience with older Scorps or younger Caps?

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Labels: astrology, capricorn, compatibility, scorpio

Decisions, decisions.

The question alone sounds like a pitch for a romantic comedy. Tam, a self-sufficent young woman able to hold down her beer and beat her brother at arm wrestling, is torn between two guys. Jack is a type-A Corporate America personality who wears three-piece suits and does power lunches. Sal cooks pastries at the local bakery, and spends his lunch break feeding ducks at Central Park. Tam loves Jack's confidence and authority, but she's totally sweet on Sal, a man who's not afraid to show his vulnerable side.

Jack takes Tam to a swanky uptown restaurant where he slips the maitre d' a few bills to get them the best table. He wants to fly her on his private jet to Madrid over the weekend. But wait! She has a date with Sal this Saturday to view 'The Dinner Party' exhibition at the Brooklyn Museum. What should she do? How can she turn down this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?

You see, a man with money fills her need for financial security. Not that she can't make it on her own -- she's doing fine selling her clients' stuff on eBay -- but she's certainly not opposed to getting a nice diamond. On the other hand, Tam could totally feel taken care of by Sal, in a different way. She loves his romantic nature and that he would go out of his way to make her feel safe. Jack just doesn't feel cushy, you know.

This turning-point -- where the above paragraph plays out in a flashback montage over a catchy but sentimental emo song -- occurs near the end of the film. It's your turn to write the ending.

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Labels: astrology, cancer, capricorn, compatibility, taurus

A Capricorn asks:

I'm Capricorn Sun and Cancer Moon, I notice I attract mostly Scorpio and very recently, Cancer. I enjoy the spiritual depths of Scorpio and Cancer. I'm also a homebody, extremely financially responsible and prefer old world customs. I'm interested in a Cancer Sun/ Capricorn Moon. Should I get my hopes up?

I can see why you would want a Cancer Sun/ Capricorn Moon. Having two Sun-Moon conjunctions in synastry would seem to be the ingredients for a perfect marriage. But how do you go about finding such a person? (If you've already found someone specific, and this is not just a theoretical longing, please ignore the following rant.)

If you're looking for, say, someone in their late forties, a July 8, 1960 birthdate fits the bill. Someone in their late thirties? July 17, 1970. I could go on. Buy an ephemeris and look for any birthday that has this combination -- or pay an astrologer to do it -- and then put a classified ad on craigslist.org listing all the dates.

You'll get responses (hopefully) from only those who fit your criteria. Screen them over email, go on dates, maybe go steady with one or two, get engaged, yada yada. And who are you stuck with? Someone much like you! What fun is that?

Not that there's anything wrong with the attraction. I've been drawn to Aquarius Sun/ Pisces Moon types in my day. (There's your roundabout answer, if anyone feels compelled to ask about my sign!) No doubt, a match like this can feel very comfortable. But there's something to be said for variety.

And if you've already found him or her? Work it!

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Labels: astrology, cancer, capricorn, compatibility

A reader asks:

I have a question about Sun/Moon connections between same sex couples. I have read that a great indication of whether a couple will get along well in the emotional area is to take the male's sun sign and compare it to the female's moon sign. But what if we are talking about a same sex couple? I am asking because I am a Cancer with my moon sign in Libra and the woman who has caught my eye is a Capricorn with her moon in Cancer. So my Cancer sun sign to her Cancer moon is perfect. But my Libra moon to her Cap sun is not so good. What happens then? Do we then alternate between emotional understandings and misunderstanding?

In a Sun-Moon conjunction between charts, the Moon is the "wife" and the Sun is the "husband," regardless of gender. Think of "husband" and "wife" as archetypes, bare-bones concepts that underlie these constantly evolving roles. If you two were to hook up, you'd both "lead" in different areas. You'd be the dom in the home front, and she would support you. This is where you shine, after all -- Miss Cap would depend on you to run that show. However, as a Capricorn, she'd assert herself in the outside world.

Overall, you two would have a strong emotional bond, and building a family (however you want to define it) would be important to both of you. Your Libra Moon does throw a screw into this Cap-Cancer, work-home balancing act, though. Why do you have to bring the issue of "fairness" into the relationship? Isn't it enough that Miss Cap brings home the fakin' bacon and that you steam it? What, do you expect her to do the dishes, too? I suppose with a Cancer Moon, she would.

Miss Cap knows what she wants; you can be indecisive. She can feel impatient when you hem and haw. You can offer a wider perspective when she's stuck in tunnel vision -- not that she'd appreciate you diverting her from her goal. Later, though, she might begrudgingly thank you for thinking about the relationship.

Overall, both of you have so much cardinal energy that, as a couple, you'd be able to get things moving in whatever area of life you apply yourselves.

Good luck!

Cafe Astrology provides a good primer on Sun-Moon compatibility.

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Labels: astrology, cancer, capricorn, compatibility, libra

I can only imagine a Sag falling for a Cap if she has her Venus in Capricorn -- why else would she be drawn to such a dry, old fart? Whatever area of the zodiac our Venus inhabits, we are attracted to the qualities of that sign. However, these two Sun signs are totally incompatible. Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, and Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter. Contraction, expansion. Cynical realism, boundless optimism. Hard work with distant payoff, good luck and opportunites.

How can a fiery, inspiring and enthusiastic woman seduce a melancholic and conservative man? Would he be attracted to her Sagittarian qualities? Or would he be turned off by her arrogance, her inability to focus on details, her tendency to go overboard?

If this Sag woman has Venus in Capricorn, then she can lure the Cap man with her very own Cappiness. This is how she expresses her femininity, after all. She can be brilliant at converting the masses with her fire-and-brimstone sermons, but she can do it in a grey pants suit and low-heeled shoes.

If she has Venus in Scorpio, no one will be able to resist her. And besides ... she loves power and Cap loves status, so it's a match made in heaven!

Comment below: Have any Sadges out there successfully seduced a Capricorn?

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Labels: astrology, capricorn, compatibility, sagittarius

• Open PowerPoint.
• Clearly type out the reasons why this arrangement does not suit your mutual interests.
  
• A graph would help. X axis = months from past to present. Y axis = the amount of satisfaction you have derived from the partnership.
  
• Define "satisfaction" as Return on Investment (ROI) of emotional resources.
  
• Quantify it, using a scale from 1 to 5, with 1 being " extremely dissatisfied" and 5 being "extremely satifisfied."
  
• Visually, there should be a clear decrease in satisfaction over time.
  
• Save presentation. Shut down laptop.
• Bring laptop and projector to Capricorn's office. Although you do not have an appointment, do not let Cap's secretary prevent you from interrupting Cap's quarterly meeting with the Board.
• In a calm and collected manner, run through your slides, clearly explicating the rational reasons for your need to dissolve the partnership.
  
• Open discussion for questions and answers.
• Closing words.
• Goodbye.
  

Comment below: How have you ended it with a Capricorn?

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Labels: astrology, breakups, capricorn

A reader asks:

how does a leo girl win over (or win-back) a capricorn man. i am in love with him but he made many mistakes and i overreacted because im a leo and now i fear his opinion of me is forever damaged. how can i burrow into his heart like he did mine or more importantly, why am i so drawn to such a cold person?

Your Capricorn burrowed into your heart because he's a patient digger. He'll work tirelessly to get what he wants. I'm sure once he got into your heart, he soaked in the heat for which his cold bones yearned. Yet what are you willing to do to reach his heart? If Cap had to burrow to reach a Leo's heart, you'll probably need an hydraulic hammer to break through the rock that covers his.

I have a feeling that Cap felt your overreaction was improper, or immature, and that he wishes you'd respond like a grown-up. "Working" your smile may not be enough. Capricorn will respect you when you act like dignified royalty instead of a petulant child -- both are equal expressions of the Leo archetype, but carrying yourself like a Queen will more likely gain his respect.

Addendum

Why are you drawn to such a cold person? There is no hot without cold. If you are the Sun, radiating warmth to the solar system, then Capricorn is Saturn, cold and defensive, shielding himself from galactic visitors with his protective rings.

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Labels: astrology, capricorn, compatibility, leo

I once heard in graduate school that many CEOs hire sex workers to dominate and humiliate them. Why? Because when you are in a position of extreme power, your psyche needs to compensate. If the Alpha Male never allows anyone to perceive weakness or vulnerability in him, the stress takes its toll. He needs to totally let go and express the part of himself that wants to be a baby or a slave or what-have-you ... a totally helpless human being.

Power dynamics are often eroticized. Doctor-patient, boss-employee ... the crossing of a boundary can be a turn-on. Playing out different roles in the bedroom (or hotel room, for married CEOs) is a cathartic way to explore vulnerabilities.

Capricorn symbolizes the heights, the pinnacle of career success. Cap works hard to get where he is, and may shut down parts of himself to get there. He overcompensates to make up for his youthful insecurities. All too often, anything considered weak gets pushed aside into the recesses of his psyche. However, these parts of himself don't disappear. They need expression, and maybe it's better to seek humilitiation in the confines of a motel than in the public realm. On the other hand, slow-moving planets passing over the highest point in our natal charts can sometimes expose our secrets to the world, making the personal public.

Talk about humiliation!

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Labels: astrology,