Micah (view chart) writes,

Labels: cancer, gemini

Labels: cancer, taurus

saggirl provided her birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year. We are both Sags, and this year I will be graduating from school and leaving this city. I give him his space, but I get hurt often because I feel as if, sometimes, he doesn't want to include me in his life. After we get into an argument (which has been frequently, lately) I am usually the one who ends up going back to him, tail between my legs, because I love him (and, also let my insecurities get the best of me). Am I right to be so apologetic?

Although you are a freedom-loving Sagittarius, you need cosiness and security in relationships. Cancer, an emotional sign that needs stability to feel comfortable, is on the cusp of your Seventh House, or Descendant. This is the area of your chart where the western horizon was at the moment of your birth, and it relates to the qualities you look for in a partnership.

Although you consciously identify as a woman who longs for adventure and mind-expanding books, you crave nurturing and an "at-home" feeling with a boyfriend. There's nothing wrong with this -- it's just that you may judge yourself for this yearning. With Venus in Capricorn, you may think you need to keep a stiff upper lip when it comes to love. To show otherwise may be considered a sign of weakness. In addition, you may feel insecure about how lovable (Venus) you are because Capricorn has high expectations that are hard to live up to.

If you're moving away, he may not want to get too close. It's just the beginning of the year, and I imagine your term ends just before summer. Communication is not easy now -- with Mars retrograde in Gemini and Mercury turning retrograde on January 28 -- but you may need to have a direct conversation about where you want to go as a couple. Should you make most of your time together, and then break up when you graduate? Or try a long-distance relationship? If you both can feel comfortable with where you are and where you're going, he may pull away less often.

Labels: cancer, capricorn, sagittarius, seventh house

I've recently been reading books on seduction and dating from the perspective of both genders. The basic premise I've been encountering -- regardless of which camp you belong to -- is that we are attracted to people who are not too available. When someone is 100% open to you, there's no challenge, and you get bored. "Cat string theory" (a term I encountered in Neil Strauss' The Game) states that when you stop dangling string in front of a cat and just let it sit there, the cat gets bored and walks away. You have to keep on dangling to keep its interest.

This of course is Mars in action. Mars wants a challenge, a fight. A guy wants to work hard to win over a girl, and a girl wants a guy who's not all needy and desperate. According to Darwinism 101 (aka evolutionary psychology), a man is naturally competitive and wants the woman with the greatest hip-to-waist ratio to bear his child. Conversely, a woman wants an alpha-male to ensure that she and her child will be protected. One pickup artist named Mystery (mentioned in The Game) states that despite cultural and technological advances, we're still slaves to our biological drives that worked for us tens of thousands of years ago, when we lived in small tribes.

Manipulation

A friend of mine mentioned that her office colleague comes in with new ideas to snag a boyfriend. One tip -- called "doing a coyote" -- involves a woman going to a guy's house for the first time after dating for a while, having sex, and then leaving in the middle of the night while he's sleeping. Presumably the intended effect is to make the man feel insecure so that he'll work harder to keep the woman, as well as make him feel more attracted to her because she's not 100% available to him. He was probably looking forward to cooking breakfast for her -- he's not just into the sex, you know!

Manipulative tactics such as this are under the domain of Scorpio, which is traditionally ruled by Mars. Are we to assume that -- to succeed in the dating world -- we must resort to competition and mind-games?

Yet it is true that without distance from a perceived goal or outcome, Mars has nothing to do. We get angry when somebody blocks us from something we desire. We strive towards a goal that we have not yet attained. Some couples fight just so they can have make-up sex -- they use Mars to create some space between themselves, presumably because emotional enmeshment is not a turn-on.

There is some wisdom to Mars. Members of couples who have enough separation are healthier than those who are codependent. If both people in a partnership have their own hobbies, friends they go out with, and so on, then they develop their own distinct identities, they are not just one-half of a relationship unit. They continue to feel attracted to each other because there is a gap to bridge.

Mars gives us the drive to go out into the world, initially impelling us to separate from our mothers. Then the Moon impels us to come back for security and nurturing. In developmental psychology, this is called rapprochement.

In the dating world, it is the Moon in people that is apparently a turn-off. Neediness, clinginess, waiting by the phone, "I need you" ... it is these behaviors that often drive someone away. It is one thing to flirt and send flowers (Venus), it is another to call someone up and say, "I can't live without you."

Lunar Longing

Perhaps it is the child in us that sabotages dating success. Our first template for relationships is the mother-child bond. As adults, we have unfulfilled needs, and we expect that our infantile fantasies -- we will be taken care of, all of our emotional needs will be met, we will be enveloped in love and warmth -- will be met by a man or woman. However, most adults don't want to be parents to a partner. Parenting implies being with someone 24/7, having no space or time to develop one's own interests. That's what it's like raising an infant.

There is a healthy medium between Cancerian neediness and Scorpionic manipulation in dating. You can be confident and independent (Aries). You don't have to play mind-games, trap someone with an unexpected pregnancy or play the helpless waif who needs a strong protector.

First photo by ienasequence, second by Miss Loisy, third by lou & magoo under CC license.

Labels: aries, cancer, mars, moon, scorpio

Saj provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

Ive always heard that Sag and Cancer don't get along but in my case I feel like we are somewhat compatible. His moon is in Aquarius and my moon is in Libra. His mars is in Leo and Venus in Cancer and my mars is in Scorpio and Venus in Capricorn. Anyway, when we first met we got really tight and slowly after like a month we started to kind of fade and stopped talking as often but i still slept over sometimes and each time was amazing. The last time we were together was the best. It felt so right like we knew exactly how to take care of each other.

He wont talk about it with me so I stopped trying to force him to share his feelings with me but I got so uncomfortable not really knowing where we stand and not knowing the truth for sure so I told him we should stop seeing each other the way we did and I told him I deleted him as my friend off myspace because i was trying to get over him a little bit and now he's not talking to me.

My question is, is there a chance he could miss me too? Because I miss him so much and I wont IM him or text him or call him just because when I tried to before, I got no response. Sometimes I feel like when he puts sad love songs as away messages they are for me but I can't be too sure because theres a million other girls in the world and who really knows.

I've met a lot of guys since and I'm going out with them sometimes but i still think about him even when I'm out and I have no desire to be with anyone else.

You have a powerful Mars: it is dignified in its own (traditional) sign, conjunct your Midheaven, and intensified by a conjunction to Pluto. It's actually a pretty potent combination: the two planets of sexuality conjunct, in the sign that they both rule, at the cusp of the very public 10th House. You've got sexual drive up the yin yang, and he's probably scared of you. A poor little Cancer could get destroyed by that combination. And with Venus rising in Capricorn, you're probably really attractive, albeit in a very classy and dignified way. You've got high standards, and maybe he feels he's not good enough for you.

However, you're attracted to him because you have Cancer on your Descendant (the cusp of your Seventh House). You're drawn to the sensitive type who can provide nurturing and care. But you have to remember that Cancer feels easily vulnerable and can pull back into his shell to protect himself, thus giving a hard appearance. Perhaps he doesn't feel safe enough to share his feelings with you right now.

You have a stellium of planets in Sagittarius: Mercury, Sun, Saturn and Uranus, all within orb of a conjunction, and opposite Chiron in Gemini. Deleting him off your MySpace is a little extreme, but suddenly (Uranus) cutting off (Saturn) a guy (Sun) because you feel wounded (Chiron) fits with your chart. Also, the vindictive nature of Mars-Pluto in Scorpio makes me wonder if you're punishing him for not opening up to you after you felt so connected to him.

The key is to stop forcing him to share his feelings with you. He may indeed still have you in his heart, but he's not going to take off his armor if he feels backed into a corner.

Comment below to provide Saj feedback, or discuss Cancer-Sagittarius compatibility in the forum.

Related post:

• Sagittarius woman only needs Cancer man when she's lonely

Labels: astrology, cancer, sagittarius

MJ submitted his birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

I've been with this girl since 2002, and we break up since 2006. But, i can't forget about her! She's unpredictable. As an example, I stopped contacting her because she said so, but out of the blue, she called me like nothing happen before.

I don't think i can forget about her. True, i was "cheat" and lie to her while she's complete honest and faithful to me. I don't understand why she wanted me to give an explanation or reason behind all my action. Sometimes, it drives me mad. Even, when we're argued, she talked based on her own logic. In every argument, it was me who's silent - she's on the winning side. Every argument i make, she reverse it.

Are there a future for us for being together again?

Is cancer compatible with sagittarius?

By the way, she did mention she needs me when she's lonely but no longer love me or need me when she's not lonely. Can't she lie a bit? it - honestly - hurts me. But, i love her and wanted her back.

How can win back sagittarius woman?

I know you love her, but it's not going to work out. The truth hurts -- and no one's more likely to tell it like it is than a Sag -- but you need to accept it. She only wants you when she needs your Cancerian nurturing. When she's not feeling lonely, she's out having adventures and enjoying her freedom -- because that's what a Sagittarius needs to do.

The time of birth you gave me was right on the hour, so I don't know how accurate it is. However, it's possible that you have Pisces Rising, which would accord with your propensity for lying. Pisces would prefer fantasy to reality, and is willing to pull the wool other their own (or someone else's) eyes to manifest their visions.

In your chart, Venus -- symbol of the young woman to whom you are attracted -- is opposite independent Uranus. This aspect suggests that either you are drawn towards women who are averse to settling down, or that you feel this yearning for freedom in relationships. There's nothing wrong this this, but it conflicts with your basic Sun sign nature, which longs for security and coziness. (Your Scorpio Moon also desires intimacy and can't handle the abrupt changes in love brought on by your Venus-Uranus opposition).

Your North Node conjoins your Cancer Sun in your Fifth House of Romance. Bringing sensitivity and care to the realm of love is a requirement for your spiritual growth. You deserve more than a woman who comes to you only when she needs some coddling.

Comment below to provide MJ feedback, or discuss Cancer-Sagittarius compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, cancer, sagittarius

Tasha included a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

ok im a scorpio female and my boyfriend is a cancer.

i feel that we are soul mates, i just love him so much. well the problem is he just tends to always get hurt by the things i say...even when im just joking wit him, he'll leave the room and give me the slient treatment for a minute until i go after him and make him talk to me, but then when he finally do talk, he starts cryin and letting out all this emotion.

and im like :" where is all this coming from? " i mean this is a all the time type thing.... sometimes i have to kiss him and show alot of affection to get him to open up. anyway my question is

is there any way that i can get him to toughen up ? ? ? all that sensitive gots to go. i thought cancers were like there sign, hard on the outside, soft on the inside.

Your Cancer is a double Cancer, with both his Sun and Moon in this sensitive sign. "Hard on the outside" has different manifestations: for him, it's leaving the room and giving you the silent treatment, i.e., retreating into his shell. It is only when you seek him out that the softness comes out.

You cannot get him to toughen up. He is who he is. Better to focus on what you say that makes him feel hurt. You are extremely Scorpionic: Scorpio Rising, a Mercury-Saturn conjunction in Scorpio, and a Sun-Pluto conjunction in Scorpio. You may have a tendency to shoot verbal barbs laced with criticism and judgment. In addition, your Sun-Pluto conjunction in the 12th House suggests that you are not conscious of how you wield this intense power you have to expose people's weaknesses. What kind of defense can a crab shell provide against a Sun-Pluto conjunction in Scorpio? It's like you are in a possession of a nuclear bomb, and you don't know how to use it.

Your boyfriend also doesn't have it easy. His Sun-Moon conjunction in Cancer is opposed by Mars -- he is prone to experiencing anger coming from outside of himself, and directed at him. It is possible that he has projected his Mars onto you (remember that Mars is the traditional ruler of Scorpio), 'making' you more likely to take on the role of the aggressor.

Comment below to provide Tasha feedback, or discuss Cancer-Scorpio compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, cancer, scorpio

I was reading Archetypes Of The Zodiac by Kathleen Burt last night, and she wrote that Gemini and Cancer may be drawn to each other, because Gemini is Peter Pan -- the boy who never wants to grow up -- and Cancer is the mother. Unfortunately, Cancer is attracted to the opposite sign on the zodiac wheel -- Capricorn -- because she wants someone to bring home the bacon so that she can create a secure nest for the kids. With Gemini, she just has another mouth to feed but not someone who will be a reliable provider.

In Jungian psychology, the archetype of the Puer Aeternus refers to the immature person who does not want to cope with adult responsibilities. Gemini and its ruling planet Mercury are associated with Peter Pan and the puer archetype. Wendy, of course, is the mother of the lost boys, fulfilling the Cancer role. She cannot stay in Neverland, though, because she feels the call to grow up. (Maturity and responsibility are associated with Capricorn, and its ruling planet Saturn).

Cancer may feel "at home" caring for a Gemini, but she's not terribly happy with it. When you're a wife, you want a husband, not an adult-child. As Burt writes, "If she ends up with a Peter Pan ... she often makes the best of it and sighs a lot" (p. 123).

Burt, Kathleen. (1997) Archetypes of the Zodiac. LLewellyn Publications.

Comment Below: Have you been the Wendy to a Peter Pan?

Discuss Gemini-Cancer compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, cancer, gemini

You've already established that adhering to gender role assignments in dating rituals is the way you want to go, so you've given up your power and are waiting for the Crab to pick up the phone. But he's shy! You could be waiting, like, forever!

So what are you going to do? Use your feminine wiles to "manipulate" him into making the first move? What a great idea!

If you're lucky, the Crab of your dreams has Venus in Gemini -- how could there be a better planetary placement for seduction via the telephone? All you've got to do is give him your number and say, "Call me" with a sexy wink to inspire him to ring you the next day.

Otherwise, he may need some goading to get out from behind his shell. Fortunately, Cancer is a cardinal sign. It initiates. There are four cardinal signs: Aries pioneers, Libra mediates, Capricorn climbs ... and Cancer wants you to meet his mother. So to get him motivated to act, it has to be in service to the Moon, his ruling planet. If you're a single mom, tell him you'd love him to meet your kids. If he discussed how close he is with his sister, share that a party of three at brunch would be a great idea. Then tell him to call to set up a time. I know these are not the most erotic come-ons, but the fastest way to a Cancer man's heart is through his family.

Unless you can cook.

Labels: astrology, cancer

Neal provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

I recently got an abrupt dumping from my Scorpio lover of three months, we had both recently come out of hurtful relationships and were taken aback by our strong mutual attraction but rolled with it and had a great time.

I was very good to her, she reciprocated my kindness and it was great. Although it was short I had allowed myself to think this was going somewhere and that we could have a good love, but a few weeks ago she called me to finish it, she was really upset and told me I was wonderful and that she could be making a huge mistake but she had to end it.

She also said she felt trapped and 'freaked out' by it. Being aware of my cancerian ways I had been pretty laid back about my feelings to her so not to scare but I had the vibe we were falling in love. Is this woman in love with me but scared by her feelings? Should I move on or wait, or pursue this amazing lady, because I really feel there is something there...

You're no ordinary Cancer, Neal. Your Sun shines at the very top of your chart (Midheaven), signifying a very public role for you, despite the shy ways of the Crab. Your Sun also makes a square (90-degree angle) to Pluto, which is conjunct your Ascendant. Pluto -- the planet of power and intensity (as well as Scorpio's modern ruler) -- adds a wallop of probing and potency to your personality. Although your Scorpio ex may have been attracted to that very quality, Sun-Pluto (on the angles, no less) can be scary. It is evident to anyone that you're a dude who looks deep into whatever he encounters, and that your investigative insights will get channeled into the public arena ... in a rather emotional manner. Plus, this whole dynamic is exaggerated by the Sun's conjunction to Jupiter. You probably have a strong drive to succeed, and you feel optimistic about your aspirations. But how can you balance your soft side with your need to be on top? And how much room is there for a woman when you've got this highly visible trajectory to success? Can she be the number one priority in your life?

Saturn's conjunction to both of the female planets -- Moon and Venus -- doesn't make this any easier. You're not so secure in your ability to keep a relationship going and get your needs met, and this feeling often results in a certain coldness, or at least a difficulty in expressing affection. The Moon rules Cancer (where your Sun resides) and Venus rules Libra (Pluto's position at your birth), so Saturn's conjunction to the dispositors of your Sun-Pluto square just adds more weight to these issues.

Currently, you are in your Saturn Return, when the planet of maturity returns to the position in the zodiac where it was when you were born. The Return is the end of youth and the beginning of adulthood. It is time to face mortality, accept responsibility, and take on commitments. As Venus is natally conjunct your Saturn, the Return affects Venus as well, contributing a sense of gravity to your love life. The end of a relationship can feel like a test, and you're wondering whether you should accept your ex's departure or pursue her.

You may want to sit September out: once transiting Venus has moved direct and returned to its natal position in late Leo, and once Saturn has firmly moved into Virgo, signaling the end of your Saturn Return. Take this time to think about where you're going with your life, and how you can fit a relationship into it. Can you offer your Scorpio ex what she needs? Some time alone may give you the answers.

Comment below to provide Neal feedback, or discuss Cancer-Scorpio compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, breakups, cancer, scorpio

In a man's chart, Venus represents the type of (young) woman to whom he is attracted. The mythological Venus is Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty. The planetary Venus does not travel beyond two zodiac signs from one's Sun, meaning that a man with Venus in Cancer can only be a Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo or Virgo.

In general, this man will be drawn to a maternal type, a woman who will nurture him with her cooking or with her sensitive attendance to his emotional needs. The Cancer figure tends to be on the shapely side -- think of the stereotypical mother's warm bosom.

A Cancer man will obviously be the most straightforward to please in this manner, as his Venus seeks similar expression to his Sun. However, when a man's Sun sign is different than his Venus sign, attraction gets more complicated.

A Leo man likes glitz and glamour, and his attraction to a shy, empathic cuddle bunny may be at odds with his desire to be seen in public with a trophy wife who serves as an accessory to boost his image. To attract this type of man, one would need to encase the caretaker in a slinky dress -- to be the wild Moon to his Sun.

A Virgo man may be more comfortable with his Venus in Cancer, as both signs are on the introverted side. However, his critical tendencies and analytical mindframe are not at home in the world of emotions. He may project his Venus onto a woman (meaning that he disowns his Venus and makes a woman "take the Cancer on" for him) and then end up hurting her feelings by picking her apart. To attract this type of man, one would need to have enough self-confidence to not take his feedback personally, yet be receptive to his home cooking reviews ... if they have any merit.

A Gemini man may have a hard time incorporating his Venus in Cancer because his propensity towards variety and exploration threatens the part of him that craves emotional security. He consciously wants to play the field, yet he's drawn to a woman who wants him to stay at home with her to watch the Lifetime channel. To attract this type of man, one needs to be able to be caring without being smothering, and to provide a home base without insisting that he's home all the time.

A Taurus man may have the easiest time with his Venus in Cancer (other than the Cancer man). Both Taurus and Cancer crave security and safety. Taurus grooves on being fed and nurtured. He may not be as emotional as the woman to whom he is attracted, but if she can translate her love into sensual acts and the creation of home-made knick knacks, she's sure to have his heart.

Labels: astrology, cancer, gemini, leo, taurus, venus, virgo

Let's move past the fact that these two signs are traditionally incompatible. An outgoing Leo may very well be attracted to a sensitive Cancer, especially if she has Venus in the water sign that precedes her Sun sign. (Venus doesn't travel very far from the Sun, and Leo follows Cancer on the zodiac wheel.)

Leo is not going to win Cancer's affection by being the life of the party and demanding all his attention. Nor will her excessive pride endear him. In short, she has to turn down the heat.

Fire and Water

Leo is fire, Cancer is water. Leo doesn't want to put on such a high flame that Cancer dries up his emotional reserves. Rather, bringing him to a low boil is the ideal effect towards which she should aim.

Fortunately, Leos give as well as they receive, and if the lioness can provide warmth to Cancer's hearth, she will drive some of the mustiness out of his home. Modulation of the thermostat is key, for a Leo set to "11" will drive the crab into his shell. Leo may have boundless energy, but Cancer needs to conserve.

Sun and Moon

Leo is ruled by the Sun, Cancer by the Moon. The Sun is an everpresent globe, always available to provide heat. The Moon fluctuates, appearing different every night. Part of him thrives on the light of the Sun, yet he needs that bit of darkness to collect moisture and delve into his own mysteries.

A Leo girl will win his heart if she can accept the inconsistency of his moods, and not demand that he reflect her light back to her if he's in a new moon phase.

Labels: astrology, cancer, leo

An angry Cancer man is not a pretty sight. He'll withdraw into his shell and refuse to talk to you, or just bitch and complain (whine). Passive-aggressiveness is also common for a water sign that is famous for moving sideways.

More likely than not, he's angry because you wounded his sensitive crabmeat, or your actions elicited his fierce protectiveness towards those he loves. It is natural to feel angry when you don't feel safe.

Therefore, the first step towards reconciliation is acknowledging that you posed a threat, and that you will do everything you can to maintain Homeland Security. (And although our current President is a Cancer, do not follow his example. Torturing others to save your relationship is off limits!)

Talk is just talk, though. The Cancer man, as a member of the cardinal signs, prefers action over words. (A warm embrace counts more than verbal reassurance.) Your overtures should reflect a sincere desire to make things right. Cancer, ruled by the Moon, is an intuitive sign, and will be able to tell if you're just going through the motions.

Cancer's feelings of safety are based on emotions, not logic, so a home-cooked meal may indeed do the trick, provided he can taste the love. A cup of warm milk and a nice cuddle can also melt the Crab's defenses.

Comment below: What would you do if a Cancer man were angry at you?

Labels: astrology, cancer

Pisces Mania provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

i met this pisces male who is eight years my junior and he is from another country to boot. love at first sight and despite our language difficulties we connected on a spiritual, emotional, physical and psychic level. never experienced this type of relationship before. but he confuses the heck out of me.
i could tell from his nervousness and sweaty hands that he was really into me but then he'd ignore my phone calls for several weeks only to call me out of the blue and ask why i didn't call more? the last time there was two months in between our inneraction (because he stopped returning my calls, i refused to keep trying) but curiosity got the best of me and i called. he got in touch a week later and came over. greeted me with the most passionate kiss ever and asked again why i didn't call more and that he was "waiting" for me. it's like he doesn't even realize he is the one being distant or perhaps he's good at lying. so, it's now been a month since we last saw one another and i left a message several weeks ago telling him i missed him and would like to spend more time together. of course, no response and i'm ready to walk away. is this typical pisces behavior? have read pisces are indecisive and live in their own world. how do i know to stick it out and fight the good fight or stop fooling myself? help! i'm hopelessly in love with this strange creature....

Stop fooling yourself. It sounds like this Pisces man wants you to be in the driver's seat, yet he won't even get in the car with you. You leave frequent messages, and he complains you don't call more ... plus he rarely responds. I don't care how much you love him ... he's not living up to his part of the deal. However much his feelings for you are reciprocated, his near-total passivity -- for which Pisces gets a bad rap -- is a deal-breaker.

You have Venus in Taurus in your Seventh House. Stability and a feeling of being valued are necessary for you to have a satisfying relationship -- neither of which this Pisces man is offering. You also have transiting Uranus -- planet of awakening and sudden change -- transiting your natal Jupiter in Pisces. This planet may signify your Pisces man, as Jupiter represents people from foreign lands, and it is in his sign. This transit -- which ends February of next year -- indicates a lack of any stability with regards to him. He may come in and out of your life with no predictable frequency. Do you want that?

You currently have the opportunity (Jupiter) to build a dream (Pisces) home or home life (Fourth House), which can help provide you a sense of security (Jupiter rules your Second House). I'd suggest you put your energies into bringing the best of Pisces into your life ... not the worst.

Comment below: Share your experiences with passive Pisces men or women, or give Pisces Mania some feedback.

Discuss Cancer-Pisces compatibility in the forum.

Jeffrey offers private consultations.

Labels: astrology, cancer, pisces

Sandyshoes provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

42-yr old Cancer man, never previously married, says he's simply never met "the right woman" before. I'm divorced and a single parent. We've dated 5 months and he says he loves me and feels a connection stronger than any he's ever experienced before. He talks about a future, he makes time to be with me and my child, he is sensitive and nurturing and sweet and the sex is superb. Usually I get hung up on intellectual types -- this man is intelligent but does not live in his head. He is very domestic and appeals to me on a level I've never felt before, very emotional and physical. He gives me butterflies and makes me feel weak at the knees. We are so different -- I am high-strung and restless (but a VERY good cook) while he is quiet and laid-back. Can it work for us? He touches me deeply and I know that I touch him, but whereas he is open to discussing any issues that arise for ME, he tends to withdraw a little and go cool rather than tell me when something has upset HIM. And he won't admit that he's jealous but I get the sense that he is -- and I am a very social person who strikes up conversations and gets smiles or greetings from complete strangers. I feel this makes him uncomfortable but he won't admit it.

Although Gemini and Cancer are typically not a good match, your Moon (which rules Cancer) sits at the beginning of your Seventh House of Relationships. You are attracted to a domestically-inclined, emotionally-attuned man. Better yet, an intelligent one with a wide perspective, as Sagittarius sits on your Seventh House cusp. The Crab withdraws into its shell when feeling vulnerable, so do not be too concerned when your Cancer man goes cool.

Jupiter (the ruler of your Sagittarius Descendant) is in Leo in your Third House of Communication, in a stressful square -- or 90-degree angle -- to your Moon. You are a chatty Gemini with a tendency to be the life of the party in social situations. The attention you receive rubs the wrong way with your boyfriend (Jupiter in Third square Moon in Seventh). In addition, you have a tight Sun-Pluto square. The Sun symbolizes the man in your life, and Pluto can be both secretive and possessive. You may have a tendency to draw controlling men into your life -- or at least men who hold their cards close to their chest. As long as this Cancer man doesn't try to dictate your behavior, he sounds appropriate for you. He may just have to deal with his jealousy until he feels sufficiently safe and secure (Cancer) with you, knowing that your flirtatious manner (Venus, Sun, Mars in Gemini) doesn't threaten him.

Jeffrey offers private consultations.

Labels: astrology, cancer, gemini

Greg provided his birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

My fiance recently broke up with me. Will we get back together? She is a Leo.

Your natal Venus -- which signifies relationships -- is being squared (90 degree angle) by transiting Uranus, the planet that yearns for freedom and independence. The tension of the square aspect, along with the "sudden break" energy of Uranus, corresponds with the end of your engagement. Additionally, your progressed Moon -- one way to time events -- is currently square your natal Venus and opposite transiting Uranus.

Another more subtle indication that you are undergoing struggle: Transiting Saturn -- planet of delay and hardship -- is conjunct your progressed Sun in Leo. (This goes exact on June 14.)

Transiting Uranus has only passed over, or "hit," your natal Venus for the first of three times. Its first hit was in mid-May; it retrogrades over this point in early August, and then finally passes over Venus the last time in late February of next year. This means that the instability and need for change in your love life will not end until Spring.

Will you get back together? I don't know. However, you can use this time to make the following inquiry: What can you change in your relationship patterns? What rigidity needs to be shaken up?

Your Venus in Gemini wants variety and stimulation, yet it is squared by Saturn in Virgo, adding a need for stability and commitment. This complex is being challenged by transiting Uranus, and you have the opportunity to re-organize your values during this transit.

Uranus opposes your natal Saturn -- which rules your relationship, as Capricorn is on your Descendant -- in March 2009. Essentially, your difficulty expressing love, your fear of affection as symbolized by your Venus-Saturn contact, is being awakened over the next few years. Perhaps, with consciousness, you can loosen your defenses ... and you will be more attractive to women (or your Leo ex, in particular) as a prospect for marriage.

Jeffrey offers private consultations.

Labels: astrology, cancer, leo, saturn, uranus, venus

Pamela provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

My Gemini man cheated. Call me crazy (in love that is), but I want him back. So far, I've only read negative compatibility matches for Gemini man/Cancer woman. Does anyone know any successful matches for those signs? (Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise don't count for obvious reasons :) And how do I get him back?

She also wrote the following to me in the IM widget on this blog:

Well, he cheated on me with a Leo girl he thinks is more outgoing and compatible... We sort of broke up because of that, but he keeps calling me and saying he still has feelings for me.

Saturn -- the traditional ruler of your Seventh House cusp (Aquarius) -- is being opposed by transiting Pluto in your Fifth House of romance. Pluto is the planet of betrayal, and oppositions by transit often signify a "culmination" point, in which you either separate or decide to further your commitment. Of course, he was the one who cheated, but you must decide whether you want to continue the relationship. From what you have written, it sounds like he wants you to take him back.

During a Pluto transit to Saturn, you may feel that the structures in your life are being demolished, and that you are being severely constricted. It's a period of break-down, as well as a "no way out" existential crisis. This transit will not be over for you until November. If I were you, I'd be wary of taking him back with the attitude that it's "water under the bridge." This is an opportunity for you to expose the dark side of romantic involvements, not do further burying of the past.

Not surprisingly, your Saturn is in Gemini. You may be attracted to a man with this Sun sign, but your Saturn's conjunction to his Sun (by sign) makes a relationship with him a series of trials. Also, Gemini can be rather restless to a homebody Cancer. Not to say that it's not workable, but be forewarned.

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Labels: astrology, cancer, gemini, saturn, seventh house

Decisions, decisions.

The question alone sounds like a pitch for a romantic comedy. Tam, a self-sufficent young woman able to hold down her beer and beat her brother at arm wrestling, is torn between two guys. Jack is a type-A Corporate America personality who wears three-piece suits and does power lunches. Sal cooks pastries at the local bakery, and spends his lunch break feeding ducks at Central Park. Tam loves Jack's confidence and authority, but she's totally sweet on Sal, a man who's not afraid to show his vulnerable side.

Jack takes Tam to a swanky uptown restaurant where he slips the maitre d' a few bills to get them the best table. He wants to fly her on his private jet to Madrid over the weekend. But wait! She has a date with Sal this Saturday to view 'The Dinner Party' exhibition at the Brooklyn Museum. What should she do? How can she turn down this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?

You see, a man with money fills her need for financial security. Not that she can't make it on her own -- she's doing fine selling her clients' stuff on eBay -- but she's certainly not opposed to getting a nice diamond. On the other hand, Tam could totally feel taken care of by Sal, in a different way. She loves his romantic nature and that he would go out of his way to make her feel safe. Jack just doesn't feel cushy, you know.

This turning-point -- where the above paragraph plays out in a flashback montage over a catchy but sentimental emo song -- occurs near the end of the film. It's your turn to write the ending.

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Labels: astrology, cancer, capricorn, compatibility, taurus

Miss Worried Virgo writes:

OK so its resorted to this. Me Miss Virgo, just recently started dating a Cancer man. We have been long time friends but the romantic connection is so very strong, at least for me anyway. Talk about romance. He knows exactly what to say and do. He broke up with some one about 3 months ago. He went so far as to change his phone numbers and moved and doesnt care that she cant reach him. I knew she hurt him because he would come crying to me to often. Never in a million years did I think we would be dating!!! At times he can get moody and the predictable Virgo that I am cant take those mood swings. This is sort of weird because we were friends first and never in a million years did I think we would be going out on dates. He knew my boyfriend and I knew his girlfriend. I dont want to ruin our friendship by going to the next level in the relationship but he is persistant and I must admit that I am willing. Should I just call it off now to save our friendship? The thought of him being with some one else would kill me however, even though we have never been sexually involved.

Friendships are sacred, but romantic relationships are even more rare. I know you are being cautious, as is Virgo's inclination. However, you only live once. (At least in your current body!)

Virgo-Cancer is a fine combination. You may analyze your feelings more than necessary while he wallows in his moods, but you both share a risk-averse nature that will keep you tied to the work-home routine, without too much disruption.

Be careful, though. Cancer can get defensive, and if he completely shut out his ex to the point of moving and changing his number, what's to say he may not do the same to you if he feels sufficiently wounded? Cancer is ruled by the habitual Moon and serves his past -- he may be a slave to old patterns that are hard to shake. Virgo has been known to nitpick, and the Crab may be too sensitive to bear too much criticism. Harp on him too much, and he'll retreat into his shell. After that, you won't be able to reach him on his cell.

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Labels: astrology, cancer, compatibility, virgo

Scorpio: So, you seen any good movies lately?

Cancer: Oh, I watched 'Terms of Endearment' last night, for like, the hundredth time.

Scorpio: 'Terms of Endearment'? How sappy! I wanna see 'Zodiac.' Now that's a movie I can get into. Murder, creepiness ...

Cancer: Gross! How can you even watch that stuff? I'd be rolled up in a ball the entire movie.

Scorpio: [Grins.] I'll protect you!

Cancer: Please, let's change the subject. So, what do you do for a living?

Scorpio: [Pause.] If I told you, I'd have to kill you.

Cancer: Ha ha! No, really.

Scorpio: I'm not kidding.

Cancer: [Long pause.] OK, um ... I'm gonna get another drink.

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Labels: astrology, cancer, scorpio

A Capricorn asks:

I'm Capricorn Sun and Cancer Moon, I notice I attract mostly Scorpio and very recently, Cancer. I enjoy the spiritual depths of Scorpio and Cancer. I'm also a homebody, extremely financially responsible and prefer old world customs. I'm interested in a Cancer Sun/ Capricorn Moon. Should I get my hopes up?

I can see why you would want a Cancer Sun/ Capricorn Moon. Having two Sun-Moon conjunctions in synastry would seem to be the ingredients for a perfect marriage. But how do you go about finding such a person? (If you've already found someone specific, and this is not just a theoretical longing, please ignore the following rant.)

If you're looking for, say, someone in their late forties, a July 8, 1960 birthdate fits the bill. Someone in their late thirties? July 17, 1970. I could go on. Buy an ephemeris and look for any birthday that has this combination -- or pay an astrologer to do it -- and then put a classified ad on craigslist.org listing all the dates.

You'll get responses (hopefully) from only those who fit your criteria. Screen them over email, go on dates, maybe go steady with one or two, get engaged, yada yada. And who are you stuck with? Someone much like you! What fun is that?

Not that there's anything wrong with the attraction. I've been drawn to Aquarius Sun/ Pisces Moon types in my day. (There's your roundabout answer, if anyone feels compelled to ask about my sign!) No doubt, a match like this can feel very comfortable. But there's something to be said for variety.

And if you've already found him or her? Work it!

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Labels: astrology, cancer, capricorn, compatibility

An Aquarius writes about her Cancer man:

He trusted me so much and used to share all his personal stuff with me. He was a little open to his female friends, and I felt insecure about that.