In the comments section of How Scorpios get over breakups, Dramatoso Scorpioso wrote,

A Scorpio get dumped?

I've known a few Scorps and this one thing holds true in all cases, male or female-- they do the dirty work (the dumping). They are well ahead of the game and as master strategists will not place themselves in a position to get dumped.

If their spidey senses pick up on a waning interest, they pull out the knife and slash it then and there. Hurts like hell but you gotta do what you gotta do.

I feel suspicious whenever I read "one thing holds true in all cases." Sun sign behavior is not as reliable as, say, the orbital pattern of Mars.

Scorpio is not only about control, strategy and manipulation. This sign ultimately concerns the depths of intimacy one experiences with another person -- the true sharing of one's innermost self, as well as one's body and belongings. To be this close, a Scorpio must relinquish power. As long as she holds the knife, she is on the defensive, fearful of getting hurt. Vulnerability can be terrifying to a Scorpio, for wounds to this intensely emotional water sign can feel as painful as death. Thus, the scorpion develops an arsenal of shields and weapons, as well as enhanced detective skills (the spidey sense).

But who says Scorpio needs to be locked and loaded? Can't she have enough trust to let down her guard, to leave the sharp utensils in the kitchen? Although I would not go so far as to describe Scorpio as innocent, I can imagine a young scorpion falling deeply in love, willing to connect completely with another -- no games, no ammo. If she gets burned by her first lover, then the stingers come out. She toughens up and resolves never to let it happen again.

But there is a beauty in her initial willingness to go to the depths in a relationship, and it is a shame that she may not recover that all-consuming passion -- for how can she love truly, madly and deeply when she's packing a pistol? She may be possessed by desire, but as long as her inner Mars is at the ready, she's destined to remain separate.

Comment below: Are you Scorpio who's been dumped? Share your stories.

Photo by Violator3 under Creative Commons license.

Labels: astrology, breakups, scorpio

Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, the planet of delay, as well as success earned after years of effort. After a breakup, you expect Cappy to run back into your arms? Think again.

It doesn't matter who ended the relationship. If you broke the goat's heart, Cap will be even more cautious than usual about asking for another chance. Rejection only makes Capricorn try harder, but would any sane person try to scale the same barbed-wire fence twice?

If Capricorn ditched you, the decision wasn't made lightly. This sign thinks about long-term consequences to any action, as well as how it will affect Cap's reputation and social standing. A decision was made, and it's likely to be the final word.

In the unlikely case that Capricorn returns to you -- well, it could take months or years! Cap may not be as slow as Taurus, but the goat is much more serious. A thorough analysis of benefits and liabilities will be done before Cap makes any moves.

You don't impulsively propose a merger of two corporations. The board of directors has to be convinced that the risk is minimal and that the shareholders will be happy. The deal has to pass muster with the Securities and Exchange Commission. This process doesn't happen overnight ... so in the meantime, keep yourself busy. Check out the Wall Street Journal -- there are other healthy stocks you can invest in.

Comment below: How long did it take your Capricorn to come back?

Labels: astrology, breakups, capricorn

This couple is like an old lady and a little kid. One feels like she's been through it all, and the other can't get enough! Slow and fast, grounded and scattered ... what can possibly keep these two together?

Yes, we are more than our Sun signs, and any number of planetary combinations can compensate for this mix-up. But it's hard not to rubberneck when passing a collision between a Capricorn and a Gemini.

These two signs are quincunx each other -- an off-center 150-degree angle that makes it hard for both signs to see eye-to-eye. Cap is a cardinal (initiating) Earth sign, Gemini is a mutable (dispersing) Air sign. They're incompatible by both element and mode.

However a Cap and Gemini get together, it's easy to see why they may not last as a couple. Capricorn has a clear goal in sight, and is focused and dedicated in her path towards attaining it. Gemini is an ADD kid in a candy shop, so excited by all the different flavors that he can't stay in one place for more than a moment.

Both signs have their strengths, but by the end of a relationship, they'll only see each other's faults. Gemini will resent Capricorn for her inhibitions and rigidity, while Cap will look down on Gemini's lack of focus and inability to commit.

After the ambulance has departed, Gemini will dish to his buddies how long it took for Cap to warm up in bed, while Capricorn will share with her closest confidante that she felt more like a parent than a partner.

Comment below: Share your Gemini-Capricorn experiences, or discuss Gemini-Capricorn compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, breakups, capricorn, gemini

Exes often have a place in our hearts. We may love them forever, but know that there's no chance in hell a reunion would work. Or we may pine for them until eternity, wishing we had done things differently, or that we hadn't met them when we were so young.

And those are the good ones! The rest, we just file under "Well, that was a waste of my time!"

The zodiacal diversity (or perversity) in our approaches towards attachment and separation suggests that not everyone will process endings in the same way. Case in point, Scorpio. This sign can go to two different extremes: never letting go, or burning an ex's memory to the ground. All fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius), in fact, are resistant to change, but Scorpio -- being an intensely emotional water sign -- conjures up the image of prying a beloved object from one's cold, dead hands. The Scorpion loves so deeply that it's hard to excise an ex from its heart.

But that's exactly what's needed. Scorpio is ruled by Pluto, planet of resurrection and regeneration. The phoenix rising from the ashes is one of Scorpio's iconic images, for to be reborn, one must die. In the context of letting go and moving on, this sign relishes ex-arson like no other. (No, I don't mean setting one's old lover on fire!) The incineration of the attachment of Scorpio to their ex must be complete. This process requires that all vestiges of the ex -- photos, memorabilia, neural impressions -- be excavated and then thrown on a bonfire fueled by Scorpio's obsessive insistence on removing all traces of evidence at the scene of the crime.

Related posts:

• How to know when a Scorpio doesn't love you
• How Scorpios get over breakups

Labels: astrology, breakups, scorpio

Torrain included a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

I have had a on again off again relationship with a pisces male for 2 years. Recently I accused him of cheating after I went through his cell and discovered some text messages. Needless to say I put him out.

He has answered the phone when I called and he has responded to my text messages. When I send him messages such as I miss you and I want to see u he does not respond. I want him back what can I do. I am Miserable.... Please Help :(

Why did you go through his cell? Oh, I know why! You have Venus in Scorpio and Pluto conjunct your Ascendant! Your paranoid, probing nature seems to have gotten you in trouble. You don't say if your Pisces ex admitted to infidelity. It's certainly possible -- his Mars in Pisces, which can have sexual boundary problems, has been stimulated the last few years by both Uranus and a number of eclipses. Uranus excites him to act on his impulses, and to Pisces, there are many fish in the sea.

Regardless of whether you found him out or just alienated him by invading his privacy, it sounds like he is being civil but has written you off. I hear you're aching over this loss, but what do you expect? If he really did cheat on you, then why do you want him back? And if he didn't, his refusal to respond to your affectionate texts ought to teach ya to stop poking around. Pluto/Scorpio heavy people have a tendency to leave no stone unturned, often because they lack trust (often due to past betrayals) and expect to be burned. But don't you see how it can feel invasive if you're on the other end?

If you're feeling suspicious in the future, just be upfront about it! Don't go looking for clues.

Comment below to provide Torrain feedback, or discuss Sagittarius-Pisces compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, breakups, pisces, sagittarius

This post was written by Jara aka BlahBlah, who writes for 'Seduction Central' on Saturdays. (Thanks, Jeff!)

Disclaimer: This blog entry is for humorous and educational purposes only. Adhere to the following advice at your own risk.

Ah, air signs. So breezy. So much fun. So deceptively low maintenance. Who would want to break up with one? If the answer to that question is you, then you're in luck. Here's an easy-breezy guide to how to get out of your relationship with a gregarious Gemini, likeable Libra or abstract Aquarius.

The Breakup Strategy

Geminis are probably the most difficult of the three air signs to break up with because you are in a relationship with (at least) two people who happen to have the same face. Yes, the Twins are a handful. You probably fell in love with the charming twin. The Charmer is the smooth talker that always manages to say the right thing at the right time. You've tried to break up with Gemini before, but The Charmer kept you coming back for more. The other twin makes you remember why you wanted to end the relationship in the first place. Let's call this one The Actor. The Actor will try on different moods to provoke a certain response out of his audience (in this case, you). Why? Purely for entertainment purposes. The difficulty in breaking up with Gemini comes in if you're not prepared to handle both of the Twins at the same time (either one can appear and disappear at will). Don't try to break up with The Charmer by having a two-way conversation. This twin will just talk you out of your decision. Send a quick "we're over" text message or email. The Charmer will appreciate the brevity and try to contact you. Don't pick up the phone, answer the door or respond to any written communications. After two weeks, The Charmer will have moved on to someone or something else. Leaving The Actor is harder because this twin has a seemingly endless amount of scripts to choose from. This one will enjoy the drama of the breakup and milk it for all it's worth. When you're emotional, he acts like he couldn't care less. When you're distant, he's passionate. And so on...The Actor has more stamina than The Charmer. Expect to hear back from him for a long time after the official breakup.

Breaking up with Libra is relatively easy. Make the breakup as pleasant as possible. This sign does not handle anger well at all, and can be very unpredictable when agitated. For example, Libra could snap and start smashing plates, only to act as if nothing out of the ordinary happened 10 seconds later. In other words, don't get Libra upset. The best way to keep Libra in a pleasant mood is to create a beautiful atmosphere for the breakup. Take Libra to his or her favorite restaurant (public places are great for keeping Libra's anger in check because they don't like making scenes). Keep the enjoyable conversation flowing (helps set up the sneak attack later). Casually mention your solo future plans. Libra will notice the lack of "we" in your plans and ask you about it. Use this as your opener to discuss why you think it's best for both of you to explore other opportunities for happiness (don't worry, Libra understands euphemisms). Resist suggestions to go to couples counseling. Don't answer the "What can I do to make things better?" question Libra is surely to ask. Whatever you do, don't blame Libra. This will make Libra defensive and start a passive-aggressive, never-ending (although reasonable) debate that you have no chance in hell of winning (unless you're a Gemini). Remember to tell Libra that you have no hard feelings and would like to remain friends (regardless of whether this is true or not). If you don't care to take this long route down Breakup Blvd., then simply forget your manners at all times and/or introduce Libra to her dream date. She'll thank you in the future by sending you an invitation to their wedding.

There are two types of Aquarians. The optimal breakup strategy differs according to which Aquarian you're trying to dump. There's the Aquarian ruled by Saturn (keywords: structure, convention) that is now used to being in a relationship and will resist change. Then there's the more widely known version of Aquarius ruled by Uranus (keywords: free-thinking, unconventional) that already has one foot out the door. Obviously, the latter doesn't require much convincing to accept his walking papers. Tell him it's been fun, but you've outgrown the relationship. However, the Saturn-ruled Aquarius...now that's another story. She will hate that she's emotionally dependent on you, but will still try to hold onto the relationship. Be prepared to watch the inner battle Aquarius wages with himself over this contradiction. Contrary to popular belief, Aquarians don't dislike being in relationships. They dislike being in confining relationships. Paradoxically, if you allowed them their freedom to come and go as they please, they will not give up the relationship without a fight. After all, Aquarius is a fixed sign and can be very stubborn. The easiest way to get an Aquarius to let go is to start restricting freedoms (think prison guard), become a professional nagger (think PMS-ing Mommy), and take every opportunity to treat others as if they're beneath you (think royalty). Remember to maintain a holier than thou attitude while fighting to keep the status quo of inequality for all, and you won't have to worry about spending your Saturdays participating in another peace protest or recycle program against your will ever again.

The Ex-Files

Geminis can be the exes from heaven or hell. It really depends on what you liked most about them. If you enjoyed their stimulating company and all the funny jokes they cracked, you'll have a friend for life. If you expected to have a white, picket-fence house, 2.5 kids, and a dog named Skippy with your Gemini, then the relationship probably left a bitter aftertaste in both of your mouths. Regardless of whether things ended on good or bad terms, prepare to be bad-mouthed whenever someone asks Gemini why things didn't work out between you two. File for full custody of the children.

You're probably still a bit in love with your Libra ex. That's OK. It happens to the best of us. Why does this happen? Well, Libra probably spent most of the time being (or trying to be) your ideal mate, so it's hard to let go of that fantasy. And it doesn't help matters that she still flirts with you as if it's your first date. Libra will probably work out a fair custody agreement re: the children. Don't expect to be the favorite parent.

If you're a fire or air sign, you're still good friends with your Aquarius ex - meaning you speak to him every several months or so to play catch up. If you're a water or earth sign, you're wondering why you feel as if you were temporarily abducted by aliens. Aquarius will want to be on good terms with you, but you won't understand why.

How did your relationship with a Gemini, Libra or Aquarius end? Did the end of your relationship with an air sign leave you windswept or walking on clouds?

Labels: aquarius, astrology, breakups, gemini, libra

Neal provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

I recently got an abrupt dumping from my Scorpio lover of three months, we had both recently come out of hurtful relationships and were taken aback by our strong mutual attraction but rolled with it and had a great time.

I was very good to her, she reciprocated my kindness and it was great. Although it was short I had allowed myself to think this was going somewhere and that we could have a good love, but a few weeks ago she called me to finish it, she was really upset and told me I was wonderful and that she could be making a huge mistake but she had to end it.

She also said she felt trapped and 'freaked out' by it. Being aware of my cancerian ways I had been pretty laid back about my feelings to her so not to scare but I had the vibe we were falling in love. Is this woman in love with me but scared by her feelings? Should I move on or wait, or pursue this amazing lady, because I really feel there is something there...

You're no ordinary Cancer, Neal. Your Sun shines at the very top of your chart (Midheaven), signifying a very public role for you, despite the shy ways of the Crab. Your Sun also makes a square (90-degree angle) to Pluto, which is conjunct your Ascendant. Pluto -- the planet of power and intensity (as well as Scorpio's modern ruler) -- adds a wallop of probing and potency to your personality. Although your Scorpio ex may have been attracted to that very quality, Sun-Pluto (on the angles, no less) can be scary. It is evident to anyone that you're a dude who looks deep into whatever he encounters, and that your investigative insights will get channeled into the public arena ... in a rather emotional manner. Plus, this whole dynamic is exaggerated by the Sun's conjunction to Jupiter. You probably have a strong drive to succeed, and you feel optimistic about your aspirations. But how can you balance your soft side with your need to be on top? And how much room is there for a woman when you've got this highly visible trajectory to success? Can she be the number one priority in your life?

Saturn's conjunction to both of the female planets -- Moon and Venus -- doesn't make this any easier. You're not so secure in your ability to keep a relationship going and get your needs met, and this feeling often results in a certain coldness, or at least a difficulty in expressing affection. The Moon rules Cancer (where your Sun resides) and Venus rules Libra (Pluto's position at your birth), so Saturn's conjunction to the dispositors of your Sun-Pluto square just adds more weight to these issues.

Currently, you are in your Saturn Return, when the planet of maturity returns to the position in the zodiac where it was when you were born. The Return is the end of youth and the beginning of adulthood. It is time to face mortality, accept responsibility, and take on commitments. As Venus is natally conjunct your Saturn, the Return affects Venus as well, contributing a sense of gravity to your love life. The end of a relationship can feel like a test, and you're wondering whether you should accept your ex's departure or pursue her.

You may want to sit September out: once transiting Venus has moved direct and returned to its natal position in late Leo, and once Saturn has firmly moved into Virgo, signaling the end of your Saturn Return. Take this time to think about where you're going with your life, and how you can fit a relationship into it. Can you offer your Scorpio ex what she needs? Some time alone may give you the answers.

Comment below to provide Neal feedback, or discuss Cancer-Scorpio compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, breakups, cancer, scorpio

Friendship can be more important to the Aquarius man than romance, so a breakup ending with, "And I never want to see you again!" can be particularly hard on the Water Bearer. And, although "Let's stay friends" can be the salt on a wound to many others, the Aquarian will say, "Coolio!"

You see, the Aquarius man isn't going to be as devastated by the ending of a relationship as those born under some other signs, so maintaining a friendship isn't as painful for him. He's not going to be jealous when you talk to other guys. He's not going to pine for you and sing love ballads from outside your window.

As much as the Aquarian needs distance, he doesn't want you cut off from his community. Speaking of which ... another bad way of breaking up with an Aquarius is by creating subdivisions among his circle of friends. This egalitarian sign isn't all too keen on group rifts, so don't spread malicious half-truths or try to get the majority of your mutual friends to take sides with you. They ought to (according to Aquarius) be able to view the breakup with some perspective, respect the reasons for the demise of the relationship, and not get all emotional about it! It's not like they slept with him -- you did! -- so why should they be all that invested?

Can't we all just get along?

Comment below: How have you broken it off with an Aquarius?

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Labels: aquarius, astrology, breakups

Sonia27 provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

I am struggling with whether to continue a relationship with a Sag man who is not giving me what I need emotionally but whenever I try to break it off it hurts too much and I end up going back. He is a good guy overall, he is loyal and wants a long term commitment with me, but he can be very demeaning in the way he talks to me and doesn't seem to care how much he hurts me. Should I go through the pain of letting him go or keep trying?

Do you ever get what you need emotionally? Your boyfriend is not the problem, just another symptom.

You have a Mutable Grand Cross, which means that you have planets in mutable signs (Venus in Gemini, Saturn in Virgo, Neptune in Sagittarius, Moon in Pisces) that are all making hard aspects (90-degree square or 180-degree opposition) to each other. Most notable in this configuration is a Saturn-Moon opposition, which relates to difficulty getting your emotional needs met. The Moon concerns feelings, nurturance, a sense of belonging ... of being embraced like a child by her mother. Saturn restricts the fulfillment of whatever planet He aspects. The ringed planet imposes delays and obstacles to creating that "at home" feeling you crave.

This experience is likely due to a sense of abandonment by a parental figure, and this interpretation is accentuated by these planets' placement in the 4th and 10th houses of your chart, which are associated with mother and father. (By the way, Saturn symbolizes the harsh father, and Moon the nurturing mother.) As a result of your childhood trauma, you are drawn to people who "help" you replicate your original wound. In psychoanalysis, this is called the repetition compulsion, in which, as an adult, you repeat patterns with other adults who are like one of your parents, so that you can hopefully "resolve" the original conflict. Saturn rules your 7th House of Partnership, also strengthening this pattern.

Although I do not usually give flat-out advice, I think you should let this guy go. Unless he grows up, he will continue to be demeaning, and you deserve more than that. Transiting Pluto is approaching an opposition to your natal Venus, supporting a breakup. Pain will accompany the end of your relationship, and Pluto will bring to the surface any unconscious material about feeling undervalued (Venus in the 12th). Now is an opportunity for healing, and this process has already begun, as Pluto has recently squared your natal Moon. Find the support of good friends to help you through the turmoil, and so that you can be accountable to them when you lose your resolve to maintain your distance from your Sag man.

Comment below to provide sonia27 feedback, or discuss Taurus-Sagittarius compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, breakups, sagittarius, taurus

First off, it takes so much initiative for a Pisces man to get off his butt to break up with you, that he must have really wanted out. Maybe the real you didn't compare to the fantasy you, and he just couldn't bear the dissonance between the two.

Regardless, you want him to give you a second chance. Remember, the best way to woo a Pisces is with lowbrow Piscean pleasures: drugs, music, movies, video games. Send him a CARE package containing a dime bag and a DVD you think would turn him on. Throw in a burned CD of some hard-to-find Dave Matthews gig, and he'll know you mean business.

Other Pisces men are too "beyond" to be seduced by media items. You must convince him that you are an embodiment of the Tantric Love Goddess, and you must never reveal your mundane flaws lest you burst his bliss bubble.

Frankly, it would be a lot easier to distract him from the day-to-day problems of relationship by keeping him high. Either that, or make his life so easy -- by taking care of dreary tasks like paying his bills and brushing his teeth -- that he won't feel challenged by life's difficulties, thanks to your efforts to shield him.

It's not easy to get a Pisces man back, but if you're willing to drape a Neptunian veil of delusion over his eyes, he may let you into his graces once again.

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Labels: astrology, breakups, pisces

withhope provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. He recently broke up with me and told me he no longer has feelings for me. He has said this in the past when he gets upset at me. I'm lost without him. He had lied to me about somethings in the past and in time I built up resentment and the last two days it all came out. I said somethings to him that I'm not proud of. I didn't mean any of it as I was speaking from being hurt. He has never cheated, but he did lie and that lie devastated me. He is a Scorpio. He has said he doesn't even want to talk to me anymore. Will this pass and will he ever come back to me? I've been faithful and honest to him for three years. I've stood by him and always showed respect. I'm heart broken)>: Should I stop trying to email him and call him? Please tell me what to do.
Much love!

The buildup of resentment is a Scorpio/8th House/Pluto matter. Its expression is Martian. You may have particular difficulty expressing your anger because your Sagittarian Mars is squared by a tight Sun-Pluto conjunction in Virgo. Although your Mars just wants to let the anger out, your Sun-Pluto is tightly controlled. Pluto brings a concentrated force to your self-expression, and in Virgo, these two planets can be intensely self-critical, and are much more reserved than your Mars. As a result of this conflict in expression of your planets, you may have a tendency to hold on to underground anger until a trigger leads to an explosion.

In your case, the volcano has been active for a while, and it just erupted. Transiting Pluto has been moving through your 12th House of Deception, Lies and Hidden Things, revealing information about your Scorpio man, as well as intensifying your anger, as transiting Pluto is conjunct your natal Mars. Transiting Saturn has been moving through your 8th House of Intimacy and Ugly Feelings Aroused in Relationships, and it is trine (180-degree angle) your natal Mars, bringing some concreteness to its expression. Finally, a Leo New Moon this past Sunday fell in your 8th House, stimulating your brewing resentment.

Note also (and this applies to everyone) that retrograde Venus is conjunct Saturn. It's a hard time for relationships in general. Old stuff comes up, and some of it is unpleasant to confront.

I don't know if your Scorpio will come back. Scorpios do tend to cut people out of their lives, but there are always exceptions. Transiting Mercury (which happens to rule your 7th House of Partnership) will conjoin retrograde Venus this Friday (8/17), a good time to talk about relationship matters. Venus then goes direct on September 8, a time when love lives can move forward. I'd suggest you not overwhelm him with calls and emails, but to just pop him a note this Friday and on the 8th of next month, and see how he responds.

Comment below to provide withhope feedback, or discuss Virgo-Scorpio compatibility in the forum

Labels: astrology, breakups, scorpio, virgo

Jara aka BlahBlah writes for 'Seduction Central' on Saturdays. (Thanks, Jeff!)

Disclaimer: This blog entry is for humorous and educational purposes only. Adhere to the following advice at your own risk.

Yes, breaking up is hard to do. And it's so much harder when your soon-to-be-ex is an amusing Aries, a lovely Leo, or a smart Sagittarius. If you've ever dated fire signs, then you know that breaking up with them is nearly impossible, especially if they don't want to break up with you. In that case, they'll pull out all the stops to win you back, which can be a very tempting proposition for you. Assuming you're truly ready to move on from your Aries, Leo or Sagittarius, you'll need all the help you can get to make the breakup stick. Here's a guide to initiating (and surviving) a breakup with a fire sign.

The Break-Up Strategy

Breaking up with an Aries requires some foresight (not a trait that Aries is known for having, by the way). Without a plan of action, the probability of getting pulled into a knock-down, drag-out fight is very high if Aries even suspects for one second that you're voluntarily walking away from the relationship first (keyword with Aries). The least painful tactic (for you) is to convince Aries that it's his or her idea to break up with you. Become the antithesis of what Aries respects: a lazy, unfocused and indecisive coward. To make sure the breakup sticks, adopt a new pessimistic outlook on life. Whenever Aries comes to you excited about a brand new venture, point out all the reasons why the venture is the worst idea in the history of ideas. Make sure to point out flaws in Aries' plan only ONCE, though, because repeating yourself will signal to Aries that an argument is on the horizon. Naturally, an argument may turn Aries on and lead to some break-up-to-make-up sex. If that happens, you'll have to start all over from scratch, except now Aries thinks you're playing the "Breakup Game" as foreplay for another enthusiastic sex session.

Leo is a very loyal sign, so breaking up can be extra tricky. In order to escape from Leo unscathed, you must commit to putting aside your ego for the greater good of the breakup. As with Aries, the goal here is to get Leo to break up with you. There are two surefire ways to having a relatively stress-free parting with a Leo:

1.) Go light on the praise and remove the words "thank you" from your vocabulary, but lay the criticism on heavy (especially in front of someone Leo admires)

AND/OR

2.) Convince Leo you're not worthy of being in the relationship.

Examples of tactic #2 include getting demoted (or better yet, fired) for doing something Leo can't put a positive spin on or being seen in public looking significantly less groomed than normal (or as Leo expects). The beauty of convincing Leo you're unworthy is that you'll just be confirming what Leo already thinks, so this will be very easy. The exception is if you're a super, duper great catch (to Leo). In that case, don't bother with #2 because Leo will just hang onto the relationship even tighter. The worst thing you can do at this point is raise Leo's suspicions that a dumping is around the corner or those paws will dig in and the Lion or Lioness will refuse to be "convinced" that breaking up is for the best. When all else fails, cease all forms of physical affection and that will have the Leo sealing the breakup deal faster than you can spell G-E-T L-O-S-T.

Since Sagittarius appreciates and respects honesty, you can breakup with Sagittarius using a straightforward approach. Luckily, the famous Sagittarius sense of humor will go a long way in helping a breakup remain amicable. Sagittarius may have even been contemplating whether he or she really likes being in the relationship in the first place. This, of course, makes your job a lot easier. Sag may try to find out the reason behind your decision if the relationship is a good one to him or her. He or she will most likely play things cool by cracking some jokes about how they'll catch you in the next lifetime. To a Sag's way of thinking, the breakup provided food for thought, another life lesson learned, and yet another friend to add to his or her ever-expanding collection of buddies.

The Ex-Files

Unless you have extremely compatible personalities, don't expect to be friends with Aries after the relationship ends. As a matter of fact, don't be surprised if Aries deals with the breakup by auditioning new admirers as your replacement immediately after your breakup.

Leo makes a wonderful ex if allowed to save face during the breakup. The benefits of Leo as an ex is that his or her benevolent nature almost guarantees that you will receive help in your times of need (especially if you two share any children).

Sagittarius rarely dwells on the past, so there is great potential for you and your Sagittarius ex to be best friends even after the breakup (but only if you dealt with the situation honestly).

How has your relationship with an Aries, a Leo or a Sagittarius ended? Did the end of your relationship with a fire sign leave you feeling extinguished or ablaze?

Labels: aries, astrology, breakups, leo, sagittarius

As a Pisces, I deal with grief and pain by drinking large quantities of alcohol and watching DVDs. (Just kidding on the first part!) Virgo, my opposite, scrubs his toilet when his heart breaks. Unlike Pisces -- who seeks to escape suffering by transcending reality -- Virgo hones in on the details, immersing himself in ritualistic behaviors. A thorough house-cleaning may help him purge the demons of longing. Or he may participate in a round of colonic hydrotherapy sessions to cleanse himself of embodied relationship toxins.

Virgo is ruled by intellectual Mercury. This analytic guy likes to improve upon anything that is not working efficiently. Even though the relationship is over, he will obsess over what he could have done better, picking apart the flaws in communication patterns, living arrangements and bookshelf categorization systems.

If there is a liability in Virgo's coping mechanisms, it is that he will process the breakup mentally, yet not truly feel his grief. As a result, he may somatize his sadness, and end up consulting his holistic health practitioner to address problems that would not exist if he truly stayed with his emotions.

Labels: astrology, breakups, virgo

No breakup is easy -- the best you can do is minimize the sting. And let's assume that you're not seeking advice to make your own life easier, but rather to let him go with the least possible harm done.

Although Libra is not the most sensitive sign in the zodiac, he is one of the most relationship-focused. Assuming he's not been unfaithful, he'll likely be devastated when you break the news.

Don't do it over email, IM or text message. Libra is a face-to-face type of guy, and the impersonal nature of internet communication can leave him feeling cold. Although breaking up over the computer or via SMS is nearly always an inappropriate escape route, Libra will experience this technological goodbye as a grave affront.

Be fair. To appeal to Libra's sense of balance, focus equally on each of your faults and strengths. Better yet, frame the reason(s) for the breakup in terms of "the relationship" instead of what he did wrong. For example, state that "we" had difficulty managing the issue of his flirtatiousness at parties and how you emotionally responded to his behavior. That is, it takes two to tango, and you each had a part to play in whatever led to the breakup. It may be your decision, but you're not an innocent bystander.

Break the news in a pleasing environment. He'll remember this moment, so you may as well reduce his future suffering by picking a nice spot. If his recollection is going to hurt, it will be worse if he has an image of your last moments near the dumpster behind Walmart. Take him to the beach, give the breakup some quasi-romantic overtones.

Don't let him talk you out of it. Libra likes to please, and will offer to compromise or give up something in order to keep you. His diplomatic flair and mediation skills can be used to dissuade from your original position. If a breakup is what you really want, stand firm.

Comment below: How did you break up with your Libra?

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Labels: astrology, breakups, libra

An Aquarius writes about her Cancer man:

He trusted me so much and used to share all his personal stuff with me. He was a little open to his female friends, and I felt insecure about that. I felt that he was cheating on me. I ended up crying before his friends, and ended up telling them our personal things. Not once but twice I did so, and broke his trust. Now he is so angry with me. He told me he can't forgive me so easily. So we will remain friends from now on. I really love him and want him back so badly. I feel very bad for what I have done. How can I get him back? [edited for clarity]

Dear Aquarius,

Two things you must understand:

1) Cancer is ruled by the Moon, and the Moon symbolizes women. A Cancer man feels comfortable with female friends, and he is unlikely to cheat on you with them, because he is so focused on emotional security and the importance of family values. (Or, do you feel he was emotionally unfaithful to you? He's look for caring and comfort from his friends -- not charged intimacy that is all but consummated.)

2) He was a little open with his female friends because, once again, security is paramount to Cancer. He needs to feel safe if he is going to expose his soft underbelly. Obviously, he trusted you enough to share his innermost secrets. To then have them spilled can feel like a massive betrayal, so he has now retreated into his shell. Your Cancer ex will continue a friendship with you, but you won't easily get past his defenses this time.

If you want him back, you will have to be patient. He will occasionally retreat from his bunker to see if the coast is clear, and you will have to prove over and over that you're friendly territory. Perhaps state secrets are not so important to collective-minded Aquarius, but Cancer is more likely to feel vulnerable than the Water Bearer when classified information is released to the public.

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Labels: aquarius, astrology, breakups, cancer

You know that deep, dark hole you dig after you've been dumped? Where you stew in the juices of your resentment and despair for months and months? Well, the first hole of despondency was dug by a Scorpio.

In a relationship, Scorpio explores every nook and cranny of the intimate space shared by two people -- sometimes even looking into recesses for which her partner has not granted her access.

As a result, Scorpio knows her partner really well, and if she's gotten to the point where she trusts him, Scorpio is not willing to let him go. So when the day comes that she gets dumped, Scorpio goes into one of two modes. She withdraws into her own private hell, or she gets even.

You know that saying, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?" That surely must be about a Scorpio. Because she has all the dirt on her ex, she is willing to bring it to the light of day, or at least manipulate him into staying so that she will keep his secrets safe.

And Scorpio's private hell ... she can live there a while, commingling with her demons, brooding over past wrongs. However, Scorpio is the sign of transformation -- after she has burned through her resentments, she will be a new person. She may tread lightly the next time a man shows interest in her, but she will bring a deeper insight into her own process. This latter option is preferable; revenge may be sweet, but it leaves a bitter aftertaste.

Comment below: How have our Scorpio readers coped with past breakups?

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Labels: astrology, breakups, scorpio

• Open PowerPoint.
• Clearly type out the reasons why this arrangement does not suit your mutual interests.
  
• A graph would help. X axis = months from past to present. Y axis = the amount of satisfaction you have derived from the partnership.
  
• Define "satisfaction" as Return on Investment (ROI) of emotional resources.
  
• Quantify it, using a scale from 1 to 5, with 1 being " extremely dissatisfied" and 5 being "extremely satifisfied."
  
• Visually, there should be a clear decrease in satisfaction over time.
  
• Save presentation. Shut down laptop.
• Bring laptop and projector to Capricorn's office. Although you do not have an appointment, do not let Cap's secretary prevent you from interrupting Cap's quarterly meeting with the Board.
• In a calm and collected manner, run through your slides, clearly explicating the rational reasons for your need to dissolve the partnership.
  
• Open discussion for questions and answers.
• Closing words.
• Goodbye.
  

Comment below: How have you ended it with a Capricorn?

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Labels: astrology, breakups, capricorn

Mercury goes retrograde in Pisces the day before Valentine's. When Mercury apparently moves backwards in the sky, unfinished business comes back for resolution. We "re"-turn to old matters. Since it's happening in Pisces*, your ex may come back ... at the very least to rehash the reasons why he left you.

Mercury retrograde has a bad rap for communications gone awry. However, it's good for revisiting the past. If your Pisces man returns to talk, clear up any confusion, shatter any delusions. His ruling planet, Neptune, is being challenged right now by Saturn, god of hard, cold reality. Illusions are being shattered until summer, and you have the opportunity to distinguish fantasy from fact.

*Mercury moves back into Aquarius on Feb. 26, and returns into Pisces on March 18.

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Labels: astrology, breakups, pisces

Sag: I'm going out.

Taurus: No, you ain't.

Sag: What you gonna do, stop me?

Taurus: I'm gonna lock all the doors in this house.

Sag: You can't keep me here. I cannot be contained.

Taurus: Ha! I'm gonna contain yo ass right now!

Sag: I'd like to see you try.

Taurus: You don't understand. You're mine. What gave you the idea that you can come and go as you please?

Sag: What gave you the idea that you can keep me like one of your friggin' house plants?

Taurus: If you leave, don't think you can just waltz back in here. The locks will be changed.

Sag: Fine! I don't wanna come back anyway!

Taurus: Fine!

[Slam.]

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Labels: astrology, breakups, sagittarius, taurus

So the Scorpion hurt the Crab, and she wants to lure the Crab back so that she can hurt him again?

I know, I know, you didn't mean to (or you couldn't help yourself). But remember that Cancer is even more vulnerable than you. You both can hide it well -- Cancer withdraws into his shell to protect himself, and you are master of keeping your private life secret -- but poor Cancer is just so sensitive. Ruled by the emotional Moon, he doesn't live by Scorpio's "I don't get mad, I get even" M.O. Rather, his is, "I get hurt, I curl up on my couch with my dog and a bag of chips and watch football." (A female Cancer may do the same, but with a pint of ice cream and the Lifetime Channel.)

So, how is he going to trust you again? Security and safety are important to Cancer, so he's not gonna open himself up to you unless he knows you won't bite. He can forgive -- he's aware that moods fluctuate, and that people do regretful things when under the spell of their emotions.

Can you be a safe harbor to him, equal to his dog, remote and chips? That's questionable. You can be consistent -- that is, until the Plutonic force of change irrevocably alters your course, compelling you to burn all your bridges on the way to your new destination. That sounds a little too intense for Cancer -- he doesn't even want to cross the bridge.

So what does a Scorpio girl got to do?

Listen, you should be able to work this out. You're both Water signs -- you "get" each other when it comes to brewing in your feeling-worlds. You can be incredibly persistent when you're driven to accomplish something. If you can convince him -- as well as yourself -- that no matter how turbulent your inner life becomes, you'll still apply your Martian will towards stabilizing the home front, then he might let you back in. But, hey -- there are no guarantees. You're a Scorpio, after all.

Comment below: Are you a Scorpio? How have you gotten your Cancer back?

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Labels: astrology, breakups, cancer, compatibility, scorpio

All a Virgo man has to do is relentlessly criticize you and pick at your faults until you break down into tears. When you ask if he no longer wants to be with you, he will say, "Of course I do. You just need to x, y and z, and everything will be fine." But when x, y and z are insurmountable tasks -- when he is asking you to wipe yourself clean of all inadequacies -- you realize you have been set up.

Or, he will say he's not good enough for you. He tries to improve himself for your benefit, but he always comes up short. "You're probably better off with someone else, someone who measures up." You insist that he's fine just the way he is, that you love him. "But there must be something wrong with you, if you can love such a loser. Really, I don't deserve you."

Comment below: How has a Virgo man broken it off with you?

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Labels: astrology, breakups, virgo

Grieving takes time. You can start by integrating the qualities you most appreciated about your Taurus man into your daily routine. The end of a relationship can introduce an emotional hole into your life, and it is best to fill it with activities that nurture your spirit. A Taurus guy is not the same as the archetype of "Taurus," undiluted by other astrological factors. He is a complex individual with many zodiac signs expressing his different needs. Nonetheless, you were probably attracted to his sensual, grounded nature. How can you introject, or "take in," those qualities?

I would advise against Taurean pursuits like shopping and eating chocolate to get over your Taurus man. They might feel good for a few minutes, but they are not spiritually fulfilling. (OK, maybe if it's really good chocolate.) Instead, go to an art museum and lose yourself in shapes, colors and textures. Taurus is ruled by Venus, goddess of beauty. Can you find Beauty in your surroundings? Venus also loves sensual pleasure -- take an aromatherapy bath and scrub yourself with sea salt; go to the park and lean against a tree, letting its rootedness support you as you wallow in your sorrows. Mother Earth can absorb your sadness. She has endured much more loss than you, and She still perseveres, like any good Taurus would.

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Labels: astrology, breakups, taurus