Women are often raised to attract men with their Venus, via clothing and cosmetics, flirtation and femininity. But gender roles are in flux, and many females don't want to be stuck on the receiving end of relationships, waiting for the man to make the first move.

However, a guy frequently want to be in the driver's seat, and may be put off by a woman asking him out. (Since he can no longer hunt for boar, he needs a challenge!) But where does that leave the woman, who's itching to let out her Mars? Does she wait until she's already firmly ensconced in a relationship to express her assertiveness and competitive drive?

Traditionally, a woman's Mars signifies the type of man to whom she is attracted. But if she simply lets a guy "own" her Mars, then she has abdicated this vital part of herself to another. She cannot be a whole person if she always lets her man fix the sink or argue with the phone company for overbilling ... unless she also takes on some "masculine" traits.

At the other end of the Venus/Mars spectrum is being "one of the boys." Hanging out, drinking beers, playing Xbox ... yet not being recognized as feminine and wondering why she's not getting dates. It seems like a delicate balancing act, being able to attract without being passive, being able to hang loose with the guys while still being seen as a woman.

The Swiss psychologist Carl Jung coined the term animus possessed to refer to women who"live their lives according to the archetypal masculine principles of order, efficiency and perfection, as opposed to allowing themselves and their lives simply 'to be' as they are. These are the women who seek power rather than love--their intellectualized ambition keeping them ever-striving, with no energy left to be alive." [from Dancing in the Shadows by Laura Bryannan]

However, there has been criticism of the inherent sexism of Jung's characterization, which suggests that there is something pathological about a woman who strives for success and chooses logic over emotions. Surely, a woman can express her Mars without being judged?

Knowing when to play the Venus card or Mars card seems to be the key to relationship satisfaction. Sometimes it works to be the coquette, other times the tigress. Attract without letting someone overstep boundaries. Kick butt at the karate dojo yet do t'ai chi in the bedroom.

Unless your guy likes to be treated rough.

Comment below: How do you modulate the expression of your Venus and Mars?

Related posts:

• Venus in Love, Mars in Heat
• When you don't identify with your Venus sign
• Think with your Venus
  

First photo by MegElizabeth_, second by porcelaingirl via CC License.

Labels: astrology, mars, venus

The sign your Venus is in shows how you attract people. But what if you just don't identify with what the astrology books say about your Venus sign? (Read Venus in Love, Mars in Heat to learn more about what your Venus sign means.)

When Venus is in a different sign than the Sun

One form of "dissonance" occurs when your Venus is in a different sign than your Sun. The Sun is your conscious identity, your will. If your Venus is in the sign immediately before or after your Sun sign, then your love planet attracts in a manner incompatible with what you intentionally strive for. If your Venus is two signs away from your Sun, their expressions are more compatible, because they are both either yang/masculine (Fire and Air signs) or yin/feminine (Earth and Water signs.) And if your Sun and Venus are in the same sign, then their expressions are congruent.

A quick example: Say you're a woman with Sun in Aries and Venus in Pisces, the sign immediately preceding Aries. You're direct and impulsive, you know what you want and you go for it. Yet when it comes to attracting potential partners, you tend to be more passive and hard-to-grasp. The Venusian part of yourself feels at odds with how you identify yourself. Frustrating!

(I have also written a post about Venus in Cancer and the five Sun signs that can accompany this placement.)

When Venus makes a hard aspect to an outer planet

Your Venus' expression, however, can be totally disrupted when one of the outermost planets (Saturn, Uranus, Neptune or Pluto) makes a stressful angle to it. The most stressful aspects are typically squares (when two planets make an approximately 90 degree angle to each other) and oppositions (when two planets make an approximately 180 degree angle to each other).

I've already written about Saturn in aspect to Venus. In general, an outer planet's hard aspect to Venus overwhelms her expression -- both by adding its own powerful influence and by possibly bringing out the worst of the zodiac sign in which Venus is placed.

An example: Say you were born when Uranus was in Libra (circa 1968 - 1975) and your Venus is in Cancer. If these two planets are within 8 degrees of a 90-degree angle, then they are square by aspect.

Venus in Cancer attracts by caretaking and nurturing, and is generally conservative in nature, valuing the past and family traditions. Yet Uranus blows Venus out of the water! This outer planet disrupts the status quo and urges you towards independence. One part of you wants to settle down with your boyfriend and make him a quilt, while the other insists on the freedom to do what you want, even if your actions challenge traditional notions of partnership.

See? You're a hard nut to crack. And I haven't even mentioned Venus' house placement!

Know Your Chart

It's easy to get overwhelmed when you realize that you can't understand your "powers of attraction" just by looking at your Venus sign. But you can't simplify desire! Do yourself a favor and either learn your chart, consult a professional astrologer, or purchase an astrology report to understand yourself better.

Comment below: Share your Venus sign, Sun sign and hard aspects to Venus from other planets. How do you make sense of your powers of attraction?

First photo by Catnip Intoxicating, second photo by cynicaloptimist, third photo by Dazzie D, all under CC license.

Labels: astrology, venus

On Tuesday, Venus in Scorpio trines Uranus. This is a complex aspect, for the love planet is pulled in two different directions. Transiting in Scorpio, Venus yearns to go deep, ploughing through fear and resistance to reach the core of intimate connection. Yet in aspect to Uranus, this goddess values her independence and seeks to break conventions in partnership. Uranus does not facilitate emotional closeness, threatening to disrupt Scorpio's plans to soulmerge. However, they have one meeting ground, and that's the taboo. Uranus likes to shock, and Scorpio is drawn towards socially unacceptable practices and people. Licking erotic flavors other than vanilla is a prerequisite to turn this aspect into a good time.

Unfortunately, Capricorn is hosting a party for the next year, as Jupiter enters this sign on Tueesday. This is no wild bash. Everyone is required to wear formal attire. And you can't drink to excess or go skinny dipping in the pool.

Saturday hosts the Winter Solstice, when the Sun enters Capricorn and the days finally start to get longer. Venus squares Neptune today. As you celebrate the return of the Sun and dance around the tribal fire, you're likely to get romantically swept away, falling transcendently in love with that cutie near the bar. Even if you tea-total your way through the festivities, you still won't be sober while under the influence of Neptune. Any attractions now are subject to delusion and fantasy. When you wake up in a strange bed and wonder how in Jove's name you got there, don't say I didn't warn you.

Also on Saturday, Mercury in Capricorn opposes Mars, still retro in Cancer. You will have serious thoughts about your dwindling sex life, and make a plan to turn the situation around. But Mercury moves fast, while Mars is nearly at a standstill. Your sex life will still suck, while Mercury tries to improve the bottom line somewhere else.

The Cancer Full Moon on Sunday conjoins Mars and opposes Jupiter. You become painfully aware that you're still not getting any action. Jupiter would ordinarily spur Mars on to take some stupid risks to meet someone, but both planets are in the signs of their "fall." Might as well sit this one out. The best you can do is sort through old family photos and have a good laugh at how silly your relatives look.

First photo by mogmismo, second photo by juliaklarman, both under CC license.

Labels: astrology, horoscope

Saj provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

Ive always heard that Sag and Cancer don't get along but in my case I feel like we are somewhat compatible. His moon is in Aquarius and my moon is in Libra. His mars is in Leo and Venus in Cancer and my mars is in Scorpio and Venus in Capricorn. Anyway, when we first met we got really tight and slowly after like a month we started to kind of fade and stopped talking as often but i still slept over sometimes and each time was amazing. The last time we were together was the best. It felt so right like we knew exactly how to take care of each other.

He wont talk about it with me so I stopped trying to force him to share his feelings with me but I got so uncomfortable not really knowing where we stand and not knowing the truth for sure so I told him we should stop seeing each other the way we did and I told him I deleted him as my friend off myspace because i was trying to get over him a little bit and now he's not talking to me.

My question is, is there a chance he could miss me too? Because I miss him so much and I wont IM him or text him or call him just because when I tried to before, I got no response. Sometimes I feel like when he puts sad love songs as away messages they are for me but I can't be too sure because theres a million other girls in the world and who really knows.

I've met a lot of guys since and I'm going out with them sometimes but i still think about him even when I'm out and I have no desire to be with anyone else.

You have a powerful Mars: it is dignified in its own (traditional) sign, conjunct your Midheaven, and intensified by a conjunction to Pluto. It's actually a pretty potent combination: the two planets of sexuality conjunct, in the sign that they both rule, at the cusp of the very public 10th House. You've got sexual drive up the yin yang, and he's probably scared of you. A poor little Cancer could get destroyed by that combination. And with Venus rising in Capricorn, you're probably really attractive, albeit in a very classy and dignified way. You've got high standards, and maybe he feels he's not good enough for you.

However, you're attracted to him because you have Cancer on your Descendant (the cusp of your Seventh House). You're drawn to the sensitive type who can provide nurturing and care. But you have to remember that Cancer feels easily vulnerable and can pull back into his shell to protect himself, thus giving a hard appearance. Perhaps he doesn't feel safe enough to share his feelings with you right now.

You have a stellium of planets in Sagittarius: Mercury, Sun, Saturn and Uranus, all within orb of a conjunction, and opposite Chiron in Gemini. Deleting him off your MySpace is a little extreme, but suddenly (Uranus) cutting off (Saturn) a guy (Sun) because you feel wounded (Chiron) fits with your chart. Also, the vindictive nature of Mars-Pluto in Scorpio makes me wonder if you're punishing him for not opening up to you after you felt so connected to him.

The key is to stop forcing him to share his feelings with you. He may indeed still have you in his heart, but he's not going to take off his armor if he feels backed into a corner.

Comment below to provide Saj feedback, or discuss Cancer-Sagittarius compatibility in the forum.

Related post:

• Sagittarius woman only needs Cancer man when she's lonely

Labels: astrology, cancer, sagittarius

The following guest post is by Neith aka Diane Lang.

In chart comparisons, the presence of Jupiter in an interaspect usually indicates that we will enjoy the other person's company -- especially if Venus, his favorite dancing partner, is involved. When we astrologers start checking aspects between two charts, Jupiter and Venus are the planets we love to see, because they help smooth over the rough patches we all run into over the course of a relationship.

However, being a Libra, I'm going to present the other side of the story -- Jupiter squaring the personal planets in synastry. In other words, what happens when you have too much of a good thing? We'll start with a look at the possibilities of a Jupiter/Sun square. The Sun and Jupiter are both expansive forces in the chart -- think Leo (Sun) and Sagittarius (Jupiter). If Jupiter in one chart squares the Sun in the other, we can have a situation where the Jupiter person encourages the Sun person to have unrealistic expectations of what they can accomplish. This sets up a scenario where severe letdowns are in store. Of course, if Saturn shows up too, he will help keep Jupiter in check.

When Jupiter squares the Moon, you may want to consider the phrase "over the Moon" about someone. The emotions are exaggerated and we can find ourselves going on quite an emotional roller coaster ride of Love -- up one day and down the next. It can be fun if you like that kind of excitement … and lots of Fire signs types will line up for the experience!

Let's not forget the effect Jupiter can have on Mercury -- such as making promises he can't possibly keep. Or he gets a little carried away describing this great little restaurant that has the best food in town ... and you get there to find a dive!

Venus/Jupiter squares in synastry lead to that incredible weekend in Vegas where money flows like water and you wake up on Monday wondering what the heck you did -- but it must have been fun, right?! That lasts about as long as it takes to check your credit card charges and realize you are right up to your credit limit. Jupiter can seduce Venus by showering her with gifts, whether he can afford them or not. Throw in a strong Neptune aspect or two, and oh boy ...

Mars and Jupiter?! Remember the time your best friend double dog dared you to do something really stupid, and you did ... to your everlasting embarrassment? Well, that's one possible result of having Jupiter squaring Mars (Actions) in synastry.

Seriously, I love to see two or three good Jupiter connections in synastry, because they bring a spirit of generosity and a willingness to let bygones be bygones. People simply like each other and can always find the humor in just about any situation, all good for keeping a relationship on track -- and someone has to offset dour Saturn!!

About the Author
Neith AKA Diane Lang writes a blog on Synastry at Neith on Synastry, where she writes posts answering relationship questions from readers and does the occasional post on how the outer planets in particular affect our ability to relate. She also has another blog, Neith.net, which covers a broad range of topics relating to Astrology and her life. If you enjoy her style and are interested in having her take a look at your chart, she does written reports for a reasonable fee too.

Explore other Seduction Central posts mentioning Jupiter through Google Blog Search.

Comment below: What Jupiter interaspects do you have with a partner? How are they too much of a good thing?

Photo by vortistic under Creative Commons license.

Labels: astrology, jupiter

In the comments section of Sagittarius woman only needs Cancer man when she's lonely, many Sagittarians lambasted the poor Cancer guy with Pisces rising for lying to his Sag ex-girlfriend.

"You see we do always tell the truth (as we see it) for better or worse and we do appreciate the truth in the same way."

"Sadge women CANNOT be lied to...no matter what."

"Sagittarius people cannot tolerate a liar."

Perhaps the truth as Sagittarius sees it is not the same as The Truth. This sign's ruling planet is Jupiter, the Expander and Exaggerator. When a fact doesn't support Sagittarius' worldview, philosophy or theory of everything, the Centaur may just choose to ignore it. After all, the Big Picture is more important than every little detail. And Sag may give some supporting pieces of information slightly more emphasis than others to make her point. She wouldn't call this "lying," just "putting things in perspective."

Is stretching the truth less ethically questionable than outright lying? Sagittarius may not see it as a problem. But then again, Sag may not even be aware that she is leaving key points out of her version of the truth. Nor may she recognize when she is over-emphasizing a minor tidbit that makes her look better. And if she does know what she is doing ... well, surely there is a good reason for it.

Sagittarius governs higher education and universities, and there are numerous cases of professors or researchers who fudge the data to help get their scholarly articles into the most prestigious journals. In her arrogance and self-aggrandizement, Sag may prune a few trees to make the forest look better.

Comment below: Do you know a Sagittarius who's told a tall tale?

Photo by monkeyatlarge under Creative Commons license

Labels: astrology, sagittarius

Photo by notsogoodphotography under Creative Commons license

Tuesday is packed with juicy aspects. The planetary lovers Venus and Mars meet in water signs, rubbing each other (the right way) at a 120-degree angle that unleashes tidal waves of pleasure. The conjugal connection between the principles of attraction and action promotes steamy encounters and emotional waterfalls. If you're not partnered, this aspect does wonders for one's creativity energy, so sublimate your desire into some wet and sticky fingerpaints.

The sexiness does not stop there! Also on Tuesday, Jupiter conjoins Pluto. The compulsion to do the nasty in the most unspeakable manner with partners deemed inappropriate by the cultural arbiters of taste is inflated to such grand proportions that you may do something that you both thoroughly enjoy and flat out regret. (Did you know that Jupiter rules run-on sentences?) Remember to get written consent from all involved parties over the age of 17 before you engage in any roleplaying that touches on themes of violation or degradation.

Alas, all this heavy dessert needs some whipped cream. On the same day, the Sun sextiles Neptune. You will awake on Wednesday feeling like all those wild sexual escapades were nothing but a dream. (But then why are your sheets wet?)

With Venus sextile Saturn on Wednesday, reality will indeed kick in, but only to cement some of the good stuff that happened the previous night. The rest will be promptly dropped in the waste disposal bin.

Comment below: How has your love and sex life been this week? (Spare the graphic details, of course.)

I am not currently writing love horoscopes for each sign. Check out Jeff Jawer's love horoscopes at Tarot.com: Aries - Taurus - Gemini - Cancer - Leo - Virgo - Libra - Scorpio - Sagittarius - Capricorn - Aquarius - Pisces. Be sure to look at your Rising Sign if you know it.

Labels: astrology, horoscope

MJ submitted his birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

I've been with this girl since 2002, and we break up since 2006. But, i can't forget about her! She's unpredictable. As an example, I stopped contacting her because she said so, but out of the blue, she called me like nothing happen before.

I don't think i can forget about her. True, i was "cheat" and lie to her while she's complete honest and faithful to me. I don't understand why she wanted me to give an explanation or reason behind all my action. Sometimes, it drives me mad. Even, when we're argued, she talked based on her own logic. In every argument, it was me who's silent - she's on the winning side. Every argument i make, she reverse it.

Are there a future for us for being together again?

Is cancer compatible with sagittarius?

By the way, she did mention she needs me when she's lonely but no longer love me or need me when she's not lonely. Can't she lie a bit? it - honestly - hurts me. But, i love her and wanted her back.

How can win back sagittarius woman?

I know you love her, but it's not going to work out. The truth hurts -- and no one's more likely to tell it like it is than a Sag -- but you need to accept it. She only wants you when she needs your Cancerian nurturing. When she's not feeling lonely, she's out having adventures and enjoying her freedom -- because that's what a Sagittarius needs to do.

The time of birth you gave me was right on the hour, so I don't know how accurate it is. However, it's possible that you have Pisces Rising, which would accord with your propensity for lying. Pisces would prefer fantasy to reality, and is willing to pull the wool other their own (or someone else's) eyes to manifest their visions.

In your chart, Venus -- symbol of the young woman to whom you are attracted -- is opposite independent Uranus. This aspect suggests that either you are drawn towards women who are averse to settling down, or that you feel this yearning for freedom in relationships. There's nothing wrong this this, but it conflicts with your basic Sun sign nature, which longs for security and coziness. (Your Scorpio Moon also desires intimacy and can't handle the abrupt changes in love brought on by your Venus-Uranus opposition).

Your North Node conjoins your Cancer Sun in your Fifth House of Romance. Bringing sensitivity and care to the realm of love is a requirement for your spiritual growth. You deserve more than a woman who comes to you only when she needs some coddling.

Comment below to provide MJ feedback, or discuss Cancer-Sagittarius compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, cancer, sagittarius

In the comments section of How Scorpios get over breakups, Dramatoso Scorpioso wrote,

A Scorpio get dumped?

I've known a few Scorps and this one thing holds true in all cases, male or female-- they do the dirty work (the dumping). They are well ahead of the game and as master strategists will not place themselves in a position to get dumped.

If their spidey senses pick up on a waning interest, they pull out the knife and slash it then and there. Hurts like hell but you gotta do what you gotta do.

I feel suspicious whenever I read "one thing holds true in all cases." Sun sign behavior is not as reliable as, say, the orbital pattern of Mars.

Scorpio is not only about control, strategy and manipulation. This sign ultimately concerns the depths of intimacy one experiences with another person -- the true sharing of one's innermost self, as well as one's body and belongings. To be this close, a Scorpio must relinquish power. As long as she holds the knife, she is on the defensive, fearful of getting hurt. Vulnerability can be terrifying to a Scorpio, for wounds to this intensely emotional water sign can feel as painful as death. Thus, the scorpion develops an arsenal of shields and weapons, as well as enhanced detective skills (the spidey sense).

But who says Scorpio needs to be locked and loaded? Can't she have enough trust to let down her guard, to leave the sharp utensils in the kitchen? Although I would not go so far as to describe Scorpio as innocent, I can imagine a young scorpion falling deeply in love, willing to connect completely with another -- no games, no ammo. If she gets burned by her first lover, then the stingers come out. She toughens up and resolves never to let it happen again.

But there is a beauty in her initial willingness to go to the depths in a relationship, and it is a shame that she may not recover that all-consuming passion -- for how can she love truly, madly and deeply when she's packing a pistol? She may be possessed by desire, but as long as her inner Mars is at the ready, she's destined to remain separate.

Comment below: Are you Scorpio who's been dumped? Share your stories.

Photo by Violator3 under Creative Commons license.

Labels: astrology, breakups, scorpio

Photo by LordKhan

The week starts with love planet Venus sextile Pluto. This 60-degree angle brings intensity and depth to friendships and professional relationships. You may have a long, deep conversation with a colleague or acquaintance that evokes erotic attraction. Whether you get off on hearing a friend's dirty secrets or you have an obsession-of-the week with some guy at your monthly networking meeting, recognize that sexual energy is a sign that you're truly connecting. The feeling will pass if you want it to ... but you may get lucky if you act on it!

On Wednesday, Venus enters Scorpio. The love planet is in this Pluto-ruled sign until the 30th. In relationships, you're no-holds-barred, going for the throat. Nothing less than total consumption of your lover will do. The upside is the potential for mind-shattering sexual intimacy. The downside is jealousy and possessiveness, paranoia that your lover is sleeping around. You want total control over another person, and guess what? Not everyone wants to succumb to your will. Now, if you can find a willing slave or submissive, then you have my blessing. But otherwise, you're just going to get into energy-draining power struggles.

On Saturday, Mars sextiles Saturn. The planet of sex is both retrograde and in sideways-moving Cancer. Being direct about you want has never been more of a struggle. Saturn in Virgo can help you be more clear and defined about your desires. Just don't present your lover with an alphabetized list of your kinks.

Comment below: How has your love and sex life been this week? (Spare the graphic details, of course.)

I am not currently writing love horoscopes for each sign. Check out Jeff Jawer's love horoscopes at Tarot.com: Aries - Taurus - Gemini - Cancer - Leo - Virgo - Libra - Scorpio - Sagittarius - Capricorn - Aquarius - Pisces. Be sure to look at your Rising Sign if you know it.

Labels: astrology, horoscope

Pragmatic Pisces provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

I have known an Aquarian man for a few years through a mutual friend. Our chemistry is off the charts. I really respect him and love to talk to him. Recently, we were all talking and I realized the depth of my feelings for him. I mouthed in a whisper to the mutual friend, "I think I am in love with him." She smiled and said, "I know." The mutual friend is a very truthful and terribly insightful Sagittarius that is like a sister to me and to him. He heard what I mouthed to her and turned to me and asked, "What did you just say?" with a very serious face. The Sag said, "You can't run from this one." So I told him, "I think I am in love with you." He then told me, “We need to talk.” And we did. I have never had such an in depth and serious conversation with a man about starting a relationship in my life! I have never really had a serious committed relationship. I have avoided men that would actually be good for me. Since that day we have not talked at all. He called once and I missed the call. I have called him twice and left messages but no return. He is a very successful slightly famous business man and is always very busy. He just left the country today and will be gone for two weeks. He said that we would have to take our time. He told me he would be very busy until the beginning of next year. But that was a month ago. I have been reading about Aquarius detachment and need for freedom. But I have also read about their devotion and truthfulness. If he doesn’t call, was what he said the truth? Surprisingly, I don’t feel like my old clingy self. I just wonder if I can trust the seriousness of our conversation. I don’t want to be a silly Piscean girl.

Your Aquarius love interest is probably not lying ... but relationship is not really his priority. Most likely, he's just quite involved in his work life. That being said, Aquarius does want his freedom, and the Piscean urge to merge may scare him off. Aquarius celebrates the individual, whereas Pisces is about the dissolution of the individual. It's "I am unique" versus "We are all One." This is not to say that a relationship between an Aquarius and a Pisces cannot work, but it helps to have other planetary aspects between your charts to enhance compatibility.

You wrote your question the day after Uranus stationed direct in Pisces. (When a planet stations, it apparently stops its movement in the sky to move in the opposite direction.) The planet of unpredictability and awakening was conjunct your Sun earlier this year, in your Fifth House of Romance. Uranus moved backwards to within a degree of your Sun over the weekend, again stimulating your Fifth House, as well as issues around men, since the Sun rules important males in your life. Your love life is supposed to be unpredictable at this time!

Although Aquarius is not prominent in your natal chart, Uranus rules this independent sign, and when this planet aspects the Sun, it is not uncommon to encounter Aquarian men. Now that Uranus is moving forward again, either something will happen because this electric energy is no longer dormant, or you may just lose interest because Uranus is no longer aspecting your Sun.

Your Seventh House of Partnership has Taurus on its cusp, as well as Mars in Taurus. This house signifies the other person. It's likely that most guys you're interested in will be slow to act, so you'll need to be patient, especially since your Venus in Aries wants a relationship now. If you're really into this Aquarius man, it may be worthwhile to trust his sincerity and wait to see what happens in the New Year.

Comment below to provide Pragmatic Pisces feedback, or discuss Aquarius-Pisces compatibility in the forum.

Related posts:

• Is a Sag woman or an Aquarius woman better for a Pisces man?
• Aquarius Pisces mismatch
  

Labels: aquarius, astrology, pisces, taurus

The Taurus man is like a wild animal that smells an intriguing scent or hears an unfamiliar sound. He cautiously steps to the perimeter of his safety zone to see what's going on. If there is the possibility of free food, he may even enter new territory. But any perceived threat will send him scurrying off back into the safety of the woods.

As much as Taurus seeks pleasure, he also values security. It's like one of those childhood games: If you leave your pile of wealth unattended to garner more goods, you risk losing all that you've attained. This fixed earth sign is more likely to sit on his treasure than to venture out without some security in place to protect his stash.

And when it comes to relationships, he's no different. If a man or woman appeals to him, Taurus will put out his feelers, and if he anticipates a threat to his comfort level, he'll just go back to his cozy spot. So if he disappears on you after expressing interest, he's not playing mind games with you ... he's just feeling hesitant. He's worked too hard at building his nest to throw it all away on someone who gives off a funny smell.

If you want to retain the interest of a Taurus man who's retreated back into the woods, find a way to reassure him that you're not a predator. To prove that you're not looking to take anything away from him, the easiest thing you can do is give. Place an offering at the edge of the woods, and let him tentatively come to it, and make sure it's not poisonous. If he eats it, he'll come back for seconds.

Labels: astrology, taurus

The following guest post is by Neith aka Diane Lang.

We get a lot of mixed messages about how to attract and keep a lover or partner. On one hand, we are bombarded with information on how to look desirable, what clothes to wear, which hair products and makeup to use. On the other hand, we are told the importance of being ourselves. Neptune, the planet of illusion, helps us put our best "face" forward, instead of helping us learn about who we really are.

Neptune is often prominently featured in the charts of celebrities who make their living being someone else. This planet helps present an image of glamour and beauty. Marilyn Monroe is a classic example, with Neptune in Leo in her First House -- the before-and-after photos of her transformation from pretty girl to Hollywood glamour queen show just how effective Neptune's illusions can be. And we all know how tragically her life turned out.

We now have a whole new venue to practice the art of deception when attempting to meet potential lovers these days -- the Internet. It's amazing what even the smallest amount of tweaking with Photoshop can do to make us look much better in a photograph than we are in cold, hard reality. If we have a strong Neptune aspect to our Sun, Moon or Ascendant -- especially by square or opposition -- we will be very tempted to "improve" on nature. Those who have Neptune conjunct the Ascendant are particularly good at projecting a facade. The question is ... do we want to?

My advice from personal experience ... Don't do it! When Neptune transited my Ascendant and went over Venus in the First House, there were so many projections and false expectations going on that I didn't have a clue! After Neptune moved on, it felt like sobering up after a night of heavy partying. And I had to go back and start all over figuring out who I was, how I was presenting myself, what I wanted, and so on.

A good look at your natal chart by an unbiased astrologer -- not yourself -- can be very helpful in determining what part Neptune is playing, if any. The bottom line is that we can only maintain an illusion so long before the facade comes crumbling down, and the real person stands there exposed. That's when we learn Saturn can be our best friend ... because his lessons are always grounded in reality.

About the Author
Neith AKA Diane Lang writes a blog on Synastry at Neith on Synastry, where she writes posts answering relationship questions from readers and does the occasional post on how the outer planets in particular affect our ability to relate. She also has another blog, Neith.net, which covers a broad range of topics relating to Astrology and her life. If you enjoy her style and are interested in having her take a look at your chart, she does written reports for a reasonable fee too.

Read more guest posts by Neith:

• Natal Pluto Aspects -- A Cautionary Tale

More on Neptune:

• Pluto vs. Neptune: How do you process your emotions?
• Embrace Your Longing
  

Labels: astrology, neptune

This is a good week for love, with Venus making "soft" (beneficial) aspects to the planets of idealism.

On Monday, Venus in Libra trines Neptune. There cannot be a more romantic and dreamy aspect in the astrological dictionary. Libra is the sign of relationships, and the planet of love makes a generous angle to the planet of fantasy and idealism. The heights of Venus-Neptune are beautiful music and Love in its purest form. Although Neptune puts on the soft-focus lens to obscure the harsh realities of wrinkles and character flaws, a little bit o' delusion is far better than the outright lies that may come with a harsher aspect between these two planets -- so enjoy the movie!

The week closes on Sunday with Venus sextile Jupiter in Sagittarius. Venus-Jupiter is the combination of luxury and sensual delight, and it helps with the finances, too (provided you don't go on a credit card spree). In air and fire signs, this aspect won't be so much about bubble baths and body rubs as about inspiring conversations and romantic trips to faraway lands.

Comment below: How has your love and sex life been this week? (Spare the graphic details, of course.)

I am not currently writing love horoscopes for each sign. Check out Jeff Jawer's love horoscopes at Tarot.com: Aries - Taurus - Gemini - Cancer - Leo - Virgo - Libra - Scorpio - Sagittarius - Capricorn - Aquarius - Pisces. Be sure to look at your Rising Sign if you know it.

Labels: astrology, horoscope

I first heard the Gretchen Wilson song 'If You Want a Mother' a few days ago, and I found the lyrics amusing. (Read them above in the widget.) It is not uncommon for a man who has been coddled by his mother to expect similar treatment from his wife. However, a woman does not want her husband to be a son, she wants him to be a man. And she is not turned on by taking care of someone who does not own up to the responsibilities of being an adult.

In this song, Gretchen sings that if her guy wants her to be a mother, he needs to be home by nine or else he's "grounded for the weekend." In addition, "big boys have to sleep in their own bed," so she'll tuck him in, but she sure as hell ain't giving him her Venus.

And isn't that what it's about, the split between the Moon (mother/child bond) and Venus (adult pleasures)? In a man's chart, the Moon symbolizes the wife and Venus symbolizes the hot young thang. How does he integrate these two archetypal images?

Regardless of gender or sexual orientation, we all pretty much want both in a relationship: to be nurtured and cared for, and to have hot sex. Some guys experience the Madonna/Whore split: The wife becomes a mother, and he has difficulty perceiving her as a sexually desirable person ... so he finds a mistress instead to meet his Venusian needs.

Read The Moon-Venus Conflict for more on the Madonna/Whore split. And for more on the eternal boy, read Peter Pan and Wendy, Gemini and Cancer.

Comment below: How do you experience men who look to you to be mothered, and how do you respond to them?

Labels: astrology, moon, venus

Venus in Libra squares retrograde Mars in Cancer on Monday. You yearn for romantic dinners and leisurely walks through the fall foliage, holding hands with your beloved. Yet another part of you just wants to stay at home and hug a pillow, doing pretty much nothing. You have neither the energy nor desire to pretty yourself up to impress anyone.

The Sun enters Sagittarius on Thursday, bringing a sense of adventure and freedom. If you have Taurus, Gemini or Leo Rising, you'll sense new opportunities for expansion in romance (Leo), partnership (Gemini) or deep intimacy (Taurus).

On Saturday, Uranus stations direct in Pisces after having been retrograde since late June. Prepare once again to be shocked! If you have Leo, Virgo or Scorpio Rising, expect the unexpected in dating (Scorpio), marriage (Virgo) or sex (Leo). There is a Gemini Full Moon on the same day, bringing out the fickleness in us all. Don't be surprised if you grow bored with your current lover, seeking out other sources of stimulation from the corner of your eye.

Comment below: How has your love and sex life been this week? (Spare the graphic details, of course.)

I am not currently writing love horoscopes for each sign. Check out Jeff Jawer's love horoscopes at Tarot.com: Aries - Taurus - Gemini - Cancer - Leo - Virgo - Libra - Scorpio - Sagittarius - Capricorn - Aquarius - Pisces. Be sure to look at your Rising Sign if you know it.

Are you a Scorpio or Scorpio Rising? Read your Scorpiolicious horoscope.

Labels: astrology, horoscope

Sure, our shining star loves to send warmth and light your way, but when there's a threat to his dignity, he's just focused on himself. Mars could blow up, but he couldn't care less ... except for the fact that he no longer has someone to do his dirty work.

Maybe Leo is ignoring you because you haven't provided him the attention he obviously deserves. Leo has set his sights on finding a new admirer, someone smart enough to appreciate him for who he is, who would never doubt for a second how lucky he or she is to have a man like him.

If you've wounded Leo's pride, he may retreat with his tail between his legs, plotting how he will pounce on you ... when the time is ripe ... and for increased dramatic effect! Don't underestimate how stubborn this fixed sign can be. Just because he's ignoring you does not mean he's not thinking about you ... as his next prey.

Or maybe it has nothing to do with you. Leo may be on a creative streak, working on his play with abandon, or lost in his painting. His is the sign of creativity and self-expression, and all that fire has to be channeled constructively. Better into his art than into endless preening, don't you think?

Related posts:

• Loving an immature Leo
• How to keep the interest of a Leo man
  

Comment below: Why did your Leo man ignore you?

Labels: astrology, leo

Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, the planet of delay, as well as success earned after years of effort. After a breakup, you expect Cappy to run back into your arms? Think again.

It doesn't matter who ended the relationship. If you broke the goat's heart, Cap will be even more cautious than usual about asking for another chance. Rejection only makes Capricorn try harder, but would any sane person try to scale the same barbed-wire fence twice?

If Capricorn ditched you, the decision wasn't made lightly. This sign thinks about long-term consequences to any action, as well as how it will affect Cap's reputation and social standing. A decision was made, and it's likely to be the final word.

In the unlikely case that Capricorn returns to you -- well, it could take months or years! Cap may not be as slow as Taurus, but the goat is much more serious. A thorough analysis of benefits and liabilities will be done before Cap makes any moves.

You don't impulsively propose a merger of two corporations. The board of directors has to be convinced that the risk is minimal and that the shareholders will be happy. The deal has to pass muster with the Securities and Exchange Commission. This process doesn't happen overnight ... so in the meantime, keep yourself busy. Check out the Wall Street Journal -- there are other healthy stocks you can invest in.

Comment below: How long did it take your Capricorn to come back?

Labels: astrology, breakups, capricorn

Life can appear random and meaningless, hence the appeal of systems of divination like astrology. There is a correspondence between Above and Below, between the movements of celestial bodies and our experiences on Earth, so much so that we can make a good guess of the hows and whys behind a Scorpio man's brooding and withdrawal. It's amazing -- isn't it? -- that you can know so much about someone by knowing which zodiac sign the Sun was in (along the ecliptic) at the moment of their birth.

We study astrology books and learn how to read natal charts, or just defer to those who have, to gain knowledge of the inner workings of other people. Yet, to what purpose?

Pain and Loss

Infants are in a symbiotic stage of development, in which they experience a parental figure and themselves as a single unit. They are essentially egoless (or that is what conventional psychology teaches about human development -- recent studies have been showing that infants are a lot more aware than we think.) They have needs, and if their parent is "good enough," they experience their needs as being magically met, and they feel that the world is safe. If their needs are not adequately met, they grow up feeling the world is not a safe place. (This is a Saturn-Moon issue.)

As we grow and develop language, we consciously learn that our needs will not always be met, but the formative years of our development have an impact on how we deal with this universal truth. We develop frustration tolerance, recognizing that we can survive emotionally without acquiring the objects of our desire. Or, we have a big black hole, and feel that if we do not get what we want, we will feel perpetually empty and alone.

Control

As adults, we always have this inner child, wanting, craving, desiring. Oftentimes, we want relationships. A "something" and a "someone" become interchangeable. A man or woman we love or like becomes the "object" of our desires or affections. We want to own them. "How do I get this guy?" Just as when we were toddlers and experienced frustration when we could not reach the cookie jar or when mom took a toy away from us, we -- as adults -- see people as things to acquire. The problem is that people have wills of their own, and toys and cookies do not.

Although we logically know this, another part thinks that with the right knowledge and skill set, we can get who we want. A child will learn that if she brings the stool to the edge of the kitchen counter, she will be able to climb up and reach the cookie jar. As adults, we approach astrology as the stool. We still have to do the work, but our understanding of the zodiac empowers us to get our cookies.

Or so we think. We can control our environments by moving furniture around and utilizing tools, but we cannot control other people. It is true that we can manipulate other people through our understanding of human nature, and that astrology can be an effective tool to help us understand how people tick, but ultimately our cookies have legs and can walk away.

How to get any man!

I have a problem with questions like "How do I get a [zodiac sign] man to do so-and-so?" and I feel hypocritical that I have answered these questions before on my blog, and that I may even answer them in the future. I don't think there's anything wrong with using our understanding of human nature -- with the help of astrology -- to "meet" them. (By "meet," I mean connect. For example, Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) teaches that if you want to best reach someone who processes information auditorially, you say "sounds like..." If someone processes information visually, you say "looks like." You are simply speaking to them in their language. The same can be said for earth, water, air or fire signs. You can best connect with them by "speaking" in the language of their element). But all this does is help them feel understood. When someone feels understood, they are more likely to hold you in good esteem. It's called mirroring, like when a mother repeats back an infant's facial expressions and puts a name to them. Some adults who didn't get enough of this may even think they are in love with you because they feel "seen" by you, and they get very little of that in their life.

There is a difference between using another person's "language" to connect with them, and strategically taking actions to get them to do what you want. I'm a Pisces man, and I could tell you that if I were single and you wanted to plan the perfect date for me, you'd suggest we get sushi and then see a movie and then go dancing. But it's not going to make a difference if you don't "meet" me on a core level. It's just actions. It's empty.

Ultimately, astrology can be used interpersonally to help you listen and communicate. That's where relationships happen. You may be able to get a man in bed or on a first date if you use well-worn tactics to seduce the zodiac sign of your choice, but it's not going to go deeper than that if you don't connect on an emotional level.

Labels: astrology

On Tuesday, the Capricorn Moon squares Venus in Libra. Although your heart desires roses and sunsets, the mood is more solemn and serious. Cautiousness prevents you from throwing yourself into the arms of a lover, unless you're sure that a romantic fling will get you that job in the corner office.

On Wednesday, the Capricorn Moon opposes Mars in Cancer. You're only willing to get down and dirty if you feel completely safe -- but your lover will be working late, so you may as well take up knitting to sublimate your desires.

Thursday, Mars goes retrograde. As the planet of sexual drive apparently turns backwards in the sky, don't be surprised if everyone's libido take a big dip. Mars won't move forward again for a while. Stay home and catch up on your TiVo'd shows until February.

On Friday, the Aquarius Moon trines Venus in Libra. Friends become lovers today. Don't be surprised if you find yourself flirting with the whole football team.

Comment below: How has your love and sex life been this week? (Spare the graphic details, of course.)

I am not currently writing love horoscopes for each sign. Check out Jeff Jawer's love horoscopes at Tarot.com: Aries - Taurus - Gemini - Cancer - Leo - Virgo - Libra - Scorpio - Sagittarius - Capricorn - Aquarius - Pisces.

Labels: astrology, horoscope