Katherine writes,

This Virgo man is my next door neighbor and a very good friend. I see him almost daily, as our group of friends is very close. We've known each other since July and have had an instant connection. Whenever we're in a room it's like a magnet is pulling us together. We've gone on several "dates" and spend a lot of alone time together, but never even kissed (lots of cuddling, though) until recently when I approached him about the situation. We admitted our attraction to each other, but couldn't come up with a solution. I basically told him I would like to give "us" a shot, but no decision was made. On my way out the door, I went for it and kissed him. It was the hottest kiss I've ever had. He retreated for a couple of days after that, which I'm used to because he tends to do that when things get too close between us, but then he bought me a vintage dress for my birthday. Now things are back to where they were; we flirt and touch, but don't kiss, he cooks me lunch, we go dancing, and we don't talk about the situation at all. What is he doing? I want things to happen now, but I know that isn't the Virgo's nature. Do you have any insight or advice? Is this a lost cause?

Your Virgo friend (view his chart) is about as "yin" as one can get. All of his personal planets are in Earth or Water signs, suggesting he's both introverted and fairly cautious. His Taurus Moon takes things slow, and its conjunction to Chiron may relate to a core emotional wound around sensuality or security issues. His Mars -- planet of assertion -- is in indirect and self-protective Cancer. And he has a stellium in Virgo, including Mercury, Venus and an exact Saturn-Sun conjunction. He may be very inhibited and controlled. But with an exact Venus-Mars sextile, he does have an undeniable erotic allure!

You resonate with him (view your chart), as you have your Moon in Virgo and Venus in Taurus. However, with Mercury, Sun and Mars in Aries, you're pretty assertive about expressing your desires. (Otherwise, possibly nothing would ever happen between the two of you!)

Saturn in Virgo is transiting your Moon until the end of June. Your Moon is the only planet in your Seventh House of Partnership, so this transit may correlate with a feeling that your relationship needs are not getting met. Remember, Saturn is the planet of delay and restriction. It's unlikely that any movement is going to happen until the weight of Saturn lifts.

On July 16, transiting Venus enters your Seventh House (depending on the accuracy of your birth time) and transiting Mars exactly trines your natal Venus. Mars will also be energizing his North Node at this time, potentially activating a feeling of having a fated connection. This sounds like a good time to ignite a romance. I know that as an Aries you "want things to happen now," but I suggest you keep dating, and don't push for more until this summer.

Labels: aries, virgo

BruisedLioness included birth info for both herself and the guy she's into. (Click on his chart to view.) She writes,

I'm into him. I think he's into me, but I get mixed signals. We flirt excessively and get along like soul mates! So why doesn't may Aries man ever take it to the next level? What do I do with this Aries man who keeps coming and going? I'm afraid that if I stop initiating things and start playing hard to get, he'll get the wrong message and move on to the next girl he meets.

You'd think that an Aries with Venus and Mars in this fiery sign would go full throttle for what he wants. He would express his desires with direct force, leaving subtlety at the door. However, the man you like has his fire dampened by Saturn. When he was born, both Saturn and Jupiter were in Libra, opposite in the sky from his Sun and love planets. This makes for a complex picture, as Saturn and Jupiter are polar opposites.

Saturn is the planet of restriction and hardship, whereas Jupiter is expansive and brings a sense of opportunity. Both of these planets modify the expression of your guy's Sun, Venus and Mars. Jupiter adds confidence and comfort with taking risks, while Saturn blocks the expression of his naturally assertive energy. Depression, frustration, lack of self-confidence -- all these feelings are possible when Saturn opposes his personal planets.

The combination of both Saturn and Jupiter can mean that your Aries guy is coming and going. He may feel confident with you sometimes, and fearful of rejection at other times. I can't read his mind -- either he's into you but afraid of being turned down, or he likes flirting but is not interested in a relationship.

Should you explicitly communicate your interest to him? Supposedly an Aries male wants to be in charge, and doesn't like to be the pursued party. The Ram is attracted to a woman who plays hard-to-get, because he thrives on a challenge. However, your guy may -- after meeting a certain amount of resistance -- just feel defeated and pack it up.

So, you can't just follow stereotypical "how to get an Aries guy" advice. My feeling is that you should find a balance between inaccessibility and availability. He needs some reassurance that you are attracted to him, yet you shouldn't give him the key to your place just yet.

Related posts:

• How does a Leo gal keep an Aries man interested?
• How to make an Aries man obsessed with you
• How to conquer an Aries man
  

Labels: aries

I've recently been reading books on seduction and dating from the perspective of both genders. The basic premise I've been encountering -- regardless of which camp you belong to -- is that we are attracted to people who are not too available. When someone is 100% open to you, there's no challenge, and you get bored. "Cat string theory" (a term I encountered in Neil Strauss' The Game) states that when you stop dangling string in front of a cat and just let it sit there, the cat gets bored and walks away. You have to keep on dangling to keep its interest.

This of course is Mars in action. Mars wants a challenge, a fight. A guy wants to work hard to win over a girl, and a girl wants a guy who's not all needy and desperate. According to Darwinism 101 (aka evolutionary psychology), a man is naturally competitive and wants the woman with the greatest hip-to-waist ratio to bear his child. Conversely, a woman wants an alpha-male to ensure that she and her child will be protected. One pickup artist named Mystery (mentioned in The Game) states that despite cultural and technological advances, we're still slaves to our biological drives that worked for us tens of thousands of years ago, when we lived in small tribes.

Manipulation

A friend of mine mentioned that her office colleague comes in with new ideas to snag a boyfriend. One tip -- called "doing a coyote" -- involves a woman going to a guy's house for the first time after dating for a while, having sex, and then leaving in the middle of the night while he's sleeping. Presumably the intended effect is to make the man feel insecure so that he'll work harder to keep the woman, as well as make him feel more attracted to her because she's not 100% available to him. He was probably looking forward to cooking breakfast for her -- he's not just into the sex, you know!

Manipulative tactics such as this are under the domain of Scorpio, which is traditionally ruled by Mars. Are we to assume that -- to succeed in the dating world -- we must resort to competition and mind-games?

Yet it is true that without distance from a perceived goal or outcome, Mars has nothing to do. We get angry when somebody blocks us from something we desire. We strive towards a goal that we have not yet attained. Some couples fight just so they can have make-up sex -- they use Mars to create some space between themselves, presumably because emotional enmeshment is not a turn-on.

There is some wisdom to Mars. Members of couples who have enough separation are healthier than those who are codependent. If both people in a partnership have their own hobbies, friends they go out with, and so on, then they develop their own distinct identities, they are not just one-half of a relationship unit. They continue to feel attracted to each other because there is a gap to bridge.

Mars gives us the drive to go out into the world, initially impelling us to separate from our mothers. Then the Moon impels us to come back for security and nurturing. In developmental psychology, this is called rapprochement.

In the dating world, it is the Moon in people that is apparently a turn-off. Neediness, clinginess, waiting by the phone, "I need you" ... it is these behaviors that often drive someone away. It is one thing to flirt and send flowers (Venus), it is another to call someone up and say, "I can't live without you."

Lunar Longing

Perhaps it is the child in us that sabotages dating success. Our first template for relationships is the mother-child bond. As adults, we have unfulfilled needs, and we expect that our infantile fantasies -- we will be taken care of, all of our emotional needs will be met, we will be enveloped in love and warmth -- will be met by a man or woman. However, most adults don't want to be parents to a partner. Parenting implies being with someone 24/7, having no space or time to develop one's own interests. That's what it's like raising an infant.

There is a healthy medium between Cancerian neediness and Scorpionic manipulation in dating. You can be confident and independent (Aries). You don't have to play mind-games, trap someone with an unexpected pregnancy or play the helpless waif who needs a strong protector.

First photo by ienasequence, second by Miss Loisy, third by lou & magoo under CC license.

Labels: aries, cancer, mars, moon, scorpio

Having no impulse control, the Aries man wants to get off NOW. After all, the first sign of the zodiac symbolizes the initial "burst" of life. (It's up to Taurus to till the soil.) What, then, of his Gemini woman? The sign of the Twins is ruled by "quick on his feet" Mercury. (The messenger of the gods wouldn't keep his job long if he took his sweet time.)

Miss Gemini gets bored in the sack easily without frequently changing it up, but will be disappointed if the sex is over too quickly. So the challenge is to prolong the inevitable, at least long enough to make sure she gets her needs met, too. (Contrary to Aries' belief, other people do have needs. It's just that meeting them is not as urgent as it is for you!)

Since we all know that Gemini is a master manipulator (with her hands ... the rest belongs to Scorpio), she may want to keep her digits to herself lest she get into a sticky situation. That means either satisfying herself or convincing Aries that he'll get something out of pleasing her. Aries does rule the head, so this is where the foreplay begins. Miss Gemini can give him a scalp massage. And while his head is arm's distance from Gemini's, surely he can keep her entertained as well.

Labels: aries, astrology, gemini

Wait ... does the Aries man even get obsessed? He may have the ability to tune out all other stimuli to accomplish his goal, but that's not obsession -- it's single-mindedness. If he really wants you, he'll garner all his resources to capture you, but once he loses interest, you've lost.

The best way to extend his attention span is to fuel his competitive drive. Although I am not a fan of "games," you may want to flirt with someone else at a party he's at, if you already know he's interested in you. Seeing you with another man will spark his instinctual urge to be Alpha Male, and he'll want to beat out the other guy for your attentions.

In other words, play hard to get.

The venerable Bruce Springsteen (a Libra) once wrote that you can't start a fire without a spark. I can't help you there (although a tight red dress will turn him on!). You need to be distant enough to be a challenge, but not so unattainable that he's easily distracted by the next pretty young thing that comes his way. The art of attraction is a Libran balancing act, and a tip of the scales in the wrong direction will send the whole contraption toppling to the floor.

Comment below: How have you kept an Aries man's attention?

Labels: aries, astrology

sunfire x provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

i met an aries man and we were intimate on the first night.... physical chemistry was amazing... he wants to see me again but is there any hope for us long term after moving so fast in the bedroom?

You're writing to me one day after the Leo New Moon. New Moons signify beginnings, and in the sign of Leo, you experience a desire to be playful. However, Neptune's opposition (180-degree angle) to this New Moon adds an element of fantasy and delusion -- you wanna have fun, and you don't see the consequences, because Neptune's weather forecast includes low visibility.

This Leo New Moon falls in your Eight House of Sex, making a generous trine (120-degree angle) to your Venus-Mars conjunction in Sagittarius. The combination of the two Lovers gifts you with sexual charisma, and their placement in Sag amps up your sense of adventure and optimism in these matters. In other words, there's little to inhibit you when you're hot and bothered, and the New Moon touched your sensitive spot.

I don't see any definite signs of long-term relationship right now. However, transiting Jupiter -- planet of good fortune -- is conjunct your natal Mercury, ruler of your Seventh House of Partnership. This fortuitous transit helps you to think big, and expands your hopes. Note that this is all happening in your Twelfth House of Unconsciousness and Self-Undoing (as well as Secret Affairs). Combined with Neptune's opposition to the New Moon, I would suspect that you're not seeing the whole picture. Make sure this Aries man doesn't have a girlfriend, for starters.

Comment below to provide sunfire x feedback, or discuss Aries-Scorpio compatibility in the forum.

Labels: aries, astrology, scorpio

Jara aka BlahBlah writes for 'Seduction Central' on Saturdays. (Thanks, Jeff!)

Disclaimer: This blog entry is for humorous and educational purposes only. Adhere to the following advice at your own risk.

Yes, breaking up is hard to do. And it's so much harder when your soon-to-be-ex is an amusing Aries, a lovely Leo, or a smart Sagittarius. If you've ever dated fire signs, then you know that breaking up with them is nearly impossible, especially if they don't want to break up with you. In that case, they'll pull out all the stops to win you back, which can be a very tempting proposition for you. Assuming you're truly ready to move on from your Aries, Leo or Sagittarius, you'll need all the help you can get to make the breakup stick. Here's a guide to initiating (and surviving) a breakup with a fire sign.

The Break-Up Strategy

Breaking up with an Aries requires some foresight (not a trait that Aries is known for having, by the way). Without a plan of action, the probability of getting pulled into a knock-down, drag-out fight is very high if Aries even suspects for one second that you're voluntarily walking away from the relationship first (keyword with Aries). The least painful tactic (for you) is to convince Aries that it's his or her idea to break up with you. Become the antithesis of what Aries respects: a lazy, unfocused and indecisive coward. To make sure the breakup sticks, adopt a new pessimistic outlook on life. Whenever Aries comes to you excited about a brand new venture, point out all the reasons why the venture is the worst idea in the history of ideas. Make sure to point out flaws in Aries' plan only ONCE, though, because repeating yourself will signal to Aries that an argument is on the horizon. Naturally, an argument may turn Aries on and lead to some break-up-to-make-up sex. If that happens, you'll have to start all over from scratch, except now Aries thinks you're playing the "Breakup Game" as foreplay for another enthusiastic sex session.

Leo is a very loyal sign, so breaking up can be extra tricky. In order to escape from Leo unscathed, you must commit to putting aside your ego for the greater good of the breakup. As with Aries, the goal here is to get Leo to break up with you. There are two surefire ways to having a relatively stress-free parting with a Leo:

1.) Go light on the praise and remove the words "thank you" from your vocabulary, but lay the criticism on heavy (especially in front of someone Leo admires)

AND/OR

2.) Convince Leo you're not worthy of being in the relationship.

Examples of tactic #2 include getting demoted (or better yet, fired) for doing something Leo can't put a positive spin on or being seen in public looking significantly less groomed than normal (or as Leo expects). The beauty of convincing Leo you're unworthy is that you'll just be confirming what Leo already thinks, so this will be very easy. The exception is if you're a super, duper great catch (to Leo). In that case, don't bother with #2 because Leo will just hang onto the relationship even tighter. The worst thing you can do at this point is raise Leo's suspicions that a dumping is around the corner or those paws will dig in and the Lion or Lioness will refuse to be "convinced" that breaking up is for the best. When all else fails, cease all forms of physical affection and that will have the Leo sealing the breakup deal faster than you can spell G-E-T L-O-S-T.

Since Sagittarius appreciates and respects honesty, you can breakup with Sagittarius using a straightforward approach. Luckily, the famous Sagittarius sense of humor will go a long way in helping a breakup remain amicable. Sagittarius may have even been contemplating whether he or she really likes being in the relationship in the first place. This, of course, makes your job a lot easier. Sag may try to find out the reason behind your decision if the relationship is a good one to him or her. He or she will most likely play things cool by cracking some jokes about how they'll catch you in the next lifetime. To a Sag's way of thinking, the breakup provided food for thought, another life lesson learned, and yet another friend to add to his or her ever-expanding collection of buddies.

The Ex-Files

Unless you have extremely compatible personalities, don't expect to be friends with Aries after the relationship ends. As a matter of fact, don't be surprised if Aries deals with the breakup by auditioning new admirers as your replacement immediately after your breakup.

Leo makes a wonderful ex if allowed to save face during the breakup. The benefits of Leo as an ex is that his or her benevolent nature almost guarantees that you will receive help in your times of need (especially if you two share any children).

Sagittarius rarely dwells on the past, so there is great potential for you and your Sagittarius ex to be best friends even after the breakup (but only if you dealt with the situation honestly).

How has your relationship with an Aries, a Leo or a Sagittarius ended? Did the end of your relationship with a fire sign leave you feeling extinguished or ablaze?

Labels: aries, astrology, breakups, leo, sagittarius

In the comments section of What keeps you from straying, two readers shared their experiences with trying to break up with an Aries:

Noctule: The Ram that latched onto me regarded me as their property to such an extent that breaking up was impossible. I even said that it was over, that I didn't want anymore, and the Aries totally plowed that statement down and latched onto tighter.... I wonder if the majority of Ariens or people with heavy Arian influences are this oppressive and tunnelvisioned.

BlahBlah: I broke up with my [Aries] boyfriend in October of one year and he still considered us together all the way through February of the next year and kept pestering me about getting back together.

Aries is the "my way or the highway" sign of the zodiac. Being the first, its concern is its own needs, period. If you look at the progression of the signs of the zodiac from a developmental perspective, there is a movement from personal to relational to collective or transpersonal concerns. Just looking at the fire signs, you can see this progression: Aries is the initial burst of vitality, channeled towards initiating a project or satisfying an impulse. Leo concerns "play" as well as the need to be recognized (by an "other") and to express warmth and generosity towards others. Sagittarius relates to one's passion to explore the world and understand the codes of ethics/philosophy/religion that keep us functioning together as a society.

Aries can be egocentric. The sign opposite the Ram is Libra, which is all about taking into consideration the needs of others. The sign of the Scales balances the deficiencies of Aries. To some extent, Aries' needs are the only needs that matter. If they've got an objective or desire, they're going to hurtle down the track whether you hop on the train or not. The problem is that some Aries can be bullies, and they will pull you on board even if you don't want to go along for the ride.

Comment below: Share your experiences with Aries ... the good, the bad, the ugly.

Labels: aries, astrology

Aries is ruled by Mars, the warrior planet. This sign is also at the start of the zodiacal wheel, signifying beginnings, the burst of new life corresponding with the Spring Equinox. But that's not why you are here. An Aries man (or woman) screwed you over, and you want revenge!

Pulling a Saturn

An Aries man wants to initiate, to pioneer ... and what better way to get even than to stop him in his tracks! Saturn is the planet of obstacles and delays. Frustrate him by taking the wind out of his sails!

Anything you can do to throw a brick wall in front of him will suffice. Calling on an authority figure (ruled by Saturn) like a judge, the police or a boss will work wonders. A restraining order, some disciplinary action ... imagine how aggravating it will be for your Aries to get punished, when all he wants is to get ahead!

You can also burden him with responsibilities (also ruled by Saturn). Heap pointless chores and mounds of paperwork upon him. This will only work if the weight you've put on his shoulders has to be reduced before he can move ahead.

You can also take the air out of his tires, cut up his monthly train or subway pass ... anything to cause delays and bring on a tantrum when he realizes he can't impulsively get where he needs to go ... now.

Comment below: How have you gotten even with an Aries?

Labels: aries, astrology

Nestle asks,

Who is more compatible with a Sagittarian Woman - an Aries man or a Virgo man? I have been involved with the Virgo for about 7 years off and on; I recently met the Aries (about 2 years ago) but feel more in sync with the Aries. Is this possible?

Yes, it's quite possible. Both Sagittarius and Aries are fire signs, which make a 120-degree angle (or "trine") to each other in the zodiac. Fire signs are inspirational and spontaneous. Aries tends to be more pioneering than Sag, who spends more time in her head than in the world of action. Your sign is ruled by Jupiter, planet of philosophy and international travel -- expansion of mind and body. Aries is ruled by Mars, the warrior planet, who wants what he wants now, and is willing to do whatever it takes to get it, regardless of how his actions impact others. Sag is more concerned with morals, with right and wrong, whereas Aries just plows ahead, regardless. But you both have spirit, and have a similar outgoing nature.

Virgo, on the other hand, is a pragmatic earth sign, and makes a 90-degree angle (or "square") to Sagittarius. As far as Sun sign compatibility goes, this is a stressful match. Virgo is careful and concerned with fine details, while you are adventurous and look at the big picture. Virgo's ruling planet is Mercury, the communicator, more interested in facts than ideas (Jupiter's domain). Virgo dips his toe into the water to make sure it's the right temperature; you dive right in.

Discuss Aries-Sagittarius compatibility or Virgo-Sagittarius compatibility in the forums, or just comment below.

Labels: aries, astrology, sagittarius, virgo

aries303 provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

I've recently ended a 5 year relationship - my first real one, in part because I felt like I was "the man" of the couple and I longed to feel like the woman. As a single girl, I've been attracted to/attracting and dating Alpha types. 4 different guys I consider to be "my" type: powerful, aggressive, dynamic. But there is guy from my college days whoI've liked for six years. He is suddenly in my life again (we've been in schools in different cities and totally by chance, we're now working in the same hospital). He's the opposite of the guys I'm usually into . He's a Taurus with his Moon, Mercury, Venus, AND Mars in Aries (why the self-esteem issues?)! I've never been able to explain how instantly we connected. The reason we didn't get together in college was because - according to his best friend - he needed for me to make the first move, despite supposedly liking me a lot. I was bewildered and a little hurt and as a result, I refused to make the first move. Now I have the feeling he still likes me, since his best friend has started calling me again, wanting to hang out. This was always the only way this Taurus felt comfortable "going out" with me. I don't want to have to go through his friends anymore! I want to approach him directly but I'm worried that I'll scare him away! Is it a bad idea to be direct? How do I get the show on the road?

You and this Taurus man have two Sun-Moon conjunctions by sign (if not by aspect), with your your Sun and his Moon in Aries, and your Moon and his Sun in Taurus. These are good marriage aspects, for the Moon and Sun are the wife and husband.

I can also see why he'd want you to lead. As much as you want to be the "woman" in a relationship, you've got a lot of cardinal (initiating) energy, with Capricorn Rising and an Aries Sun. Other parts of your chart relate to your desire to be wined and dined: your love planets -- Venus and Mars in Pisces -- are more passive and yielding, and your Taurus Moon wants to be comforted.

Is it a bad idea to be direct?

How else are you going to get what you want? Taurus is reluctant to take risks, for he does not want to lose whatever security he has. He may be afraid of losing your friendship if he expreses his interest in you. So, you may have to be the "man" here to get things going. If you scare him away be being assertive, then he's not ready for you.

Transiting Venus is just entering your Seventh House, and will conjoin your Seventh House Jupiter -- planet of good fortune -- around June 4. That will be a good time for looove. Transiting Mars will conjoin your natal Sun around May 26, which will give you an extra boost of assertiveness. The worst that can happen is that nothing romantic will come of your friendship with this Taurus man ... and nothing has happened so far! Except for some potential embarrassment, you'll at least know that you tried.

Related: If I back off from a Taurus man , will he want me more?

Jeffrey offers private consultations.

Labels: aries, astrology, taurus

Dixie Gal provide a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

Hi.. I have been seeing a wonderful Aries man for a little over a month. What is the best way to keep him interested. In one sense he is shy, but in others he is wide open. I am too old for games and wish not to become just another memory... I love life but have lost some of my sensual side and desire to rekindle that fiery side of oneself.

The traditional ruler of your Aquarius Descendant (or Seventh House cusp) is Saturn in Aries in the Ninth House. This section of your chart concerns international travel, religion, philosophy, issues of meaning and faith, academic pursuits ... in general, your desire to expand your horizons and experience adventure both mentally and physically. Since the planet signifying "the other" is in your Ninth House, you could try to keep him interested by asking him to join you in a pursuit related to this house. Go to free lectures at the university, or church events. Propose a trip somewhere exotic.

This area of life has always been a struggle for you, as Saturn brings a feeling of inferiority or deficit to whatever house he tenants. As a result, you have been seriously exploring what Ninth House concerns mean for you, in order to overcome your fear of not feeling fulfilled or successful in matters of faith and "big picture" themes. The Ninth relates to your Seventh House of partnership, so anyone with whom you are seriously involved can assist you in this growth opportunity.

You desire to rekindle the fiery side of yourself. Saturn has been transiting through Leo, passing over your Sun, Jupiter and Ascendant. This transit has brought a feeling of restriction, a dampening of your vital energies. Your Leonine fire will come back when Saturn moves into Virgo this fall.

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Labels: aries, astrology, chart analysis, leo

GeminiLover64 asks:

I'm an Aries girl, who seems to be a perfect match for my Gemini man. My question is how do I keep him interested in me and get him to propose marriage? By the way i'm 3 yr. older than him.

A Gemini man has a wandering eye and a fickle disposition -- what can you do to keep him interested?

You can start by not boring him. If he does not feel engaged in conversation with you, he'll seek stimulation elsewhere. Surely, as an Aries you've got the inspiration to at least start the momentum. You can begin with your favorite topic -- yourself -- and no doubt he will take that subject and run with it. As long as you don't keep bringing the discussion back to "me me me," you two should have a blast.

Frankly, I am surprised than an Aries would ask a codependent question like, "How do I keep him interested in me?" If he's not into you, there must be something wrong with him! Let a Libra do all the deliberating. If a man doesn't go along with you on your mission, leave him in the dust!

Also, "How do I keep him interested?" smacks of, "How do I compromise myself or manipulate my man to keep him in love with me forever?" All you can do is be yourself. If you sacrifice your authenticity to make someone else love you (if you can call that "love"), then the woman (or girl) your man thinks he loves is no more than an illusion. Leave fantasy to Pisces! Your job is to initiate the cycle of the seasons. If an Aries wavers in her truth, then the sanctity of the entire zodiac is threatened. You're the more active sign in this couple, anyways -- why don't you propose marriage?

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Labels: aries, astrology, compatibility, gemini

aries_gal asks:

I, an aries female (w/ a scorpio rising) have been dating my gemini guy (w/ a cancer rising) for a couple of years now..although we do love each other, we argue and bicker constantly, we seem to get along only half the time..we make great friends but am not sure if we could make a marriage work. Are we just not meant for each other? Are we just wasting each other's time..should we just just call it quits ?? thanks!

Both of you have water signs on your Ascendant. Scorpio rising can be secretive, and Cancer rising can be defensive -- different ways of protecting yourselves, as you are emotionally open to your environments. Using whole sign houses, you would have your Aries Sun in your 6th House of Work and Health. You put your pioneering Aries fire into keeping your daily routine organized, and may become easily irritated if the order you need is disrupted. I can only imagine that a relationship with a Gemini would make it a challenge to have predictability in your daily life, as consistency is not one of Gemini's virtues.

In addition to having Cancer rising, your Gemini man would have his Sun in his 12th House of Seclusion and Imagination. Not only is he prone to hiding behind his shell when the going gets rough -- he is also most at home by himself. (If he is a gossip hound, it all happens behind the scenes.) Being that both Scorpio and Aries are (traditionally) ruled by Mars, you are a "don't mess with me" type of woman, and when you get riled up, your Gemini may run -- not so much physically, but emotionally. He retreats into himself. Being a 12th House person, he's not as attached as you are to things being "just so," and as a mutable Sun, he is more able to go with the flow. With your fixed Rising sign and your Sun in the very particular 6th House, you are much more attached to having things your way. Your Gemini man may often be willing to concede, but if you attack him with your Ram's antlers and Scorpion's sting, he's going to either hide in his Crab shell, or complain incessantly.

You can't change your Gemini guy, but you can look at yourself. Ease up on your anger when Gemini forgets to re-file your CDs, and see what happens.

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Labels: aries, astrology, compatibility, gemini

Aries is always right -- for there are no other viewpoints to consider -- so the best way to come back is to yield. You probably broke up because you locked horns with the Ram, and realized that he would never concede. So you left, and realized either that you were wrong, or that even though you are right, you are willing to brush pride aside to be held beneath his powerful arms.

You don't need to plan an elaborate apology. He burned through his anger weeks ago! Just admit the error of your ways, and pledge that you will follow his lead on all matters. If he has not already moved on to someone else, Aries will likely take you back.

Comment below: How have you returned to the Ram?

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Labels: aries, astrology

If there is one sign that is straight and to-the-point, that cuts through the bullshit and tells you like-it-is, that sign is Aries. Aries doesn't care how you feel -- either you meet his needs, or you don't.

You can understand Aries better by looking at Libra, his opposite. If a Libra man is rejecting you, he will do it in the nicest way possible. Libra will make sure to cushion the blows by mentioning all of your positive qualities. He can see all parts of you, good and bad, and he's graceful enough not to focus primarily on the negatives, although he won't neglect to mention those too. (How else would he be balanced?) He'll reject you in a manner that makes you feel like you received a compliment, but that there was something in there that felt like a little cut ... you just can't quite place it.

So be grateful you're being turned down by an Aries, instead. If he's not interested, he'll tell you so. No hedging, no cushions. The Aries package does not include empathy and sensitivity. If you're gonna get rejected, isn't it best to take all the ambiguity out of it?

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Labels: aries, astrology

If an Aries woman senses that a man will get in the way of her independence, or try to stifle her will in any way, she will feel like a caged animal. When you box in a mammal whose nature it is to thrust ahead, you elicit anger. When she realizes that she has no power to transcend this imposed limit, she feels anxious. Keep her locked in long enough, and she gets depressed.

This is no way to treat an Aries, man! If an Aries woman gets antsy around you, it's a sign that you need to back off, give her some space. You cannot control the burst of new life that is Spring, so what makes you think you can control an Aries woman? It's like trying to prevent a bud from blooming. The force of nature cannot be contained.

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Labels: aries, astrology

Now, that's odd. If your Aries man does not want to move fast, it's likely he has Venus in an earth sign -- he doesn't want to take risks. Normally, an Aries would go full throttle into a relationship; he knows what he wants, and he goes for it. He's not one to "hem and haw" when it comes to jumping into the waters.

Venus ventures no further than two signs away from one's Sun sign. Taurus, therefore, could be the culprit. The sign of the Bull takes things slow, indeed. Venus in Taurus doesn't like change, and is focused on security, so "she" will stick her toe in the water to test the temperature, as opposed to Aries, who will confidently dive right in. If the budding relationship feels "just right," Venus will cautiously submerge herself into the pool, and will keep an eye out for sharks. It is only when she feels comfortable that she will enjoy herself, and then it will take two lifeguards to pull her out of the water, because she won't want to leave.

An Aries with Venus in Taurus can come across then -- in matters of love -- like a split personality. He really does want to go for it, and does not usually consider the consequences of his actions, but he just can't help getting stuck in this area of his life. Unfortunately, he may not be able to see this aspect of himself clearly -- it's a bit of a blind spot. Just trust that if he says, "Let's take things slow," he means it ... otherwise, he would have left the pool to play football.

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Labels: aries, astrology

It shouldn't be that hard. The Aries man drops things quickly if they bore him, and is not one to dwell in the past. Aries is in the ever-present NOW, engaged with whatever inspires him at this moment. It is almost as if he has no history. So why should he hold on to grudges? Most likely, he will express a burst of anger (or even rage), and then just let it go.

If an Aries man has trouble forgiving, it could be that he has the Moon or Mars in fixed signs (especially Leo or Scorpio). Every man is complex, and his Sun expresses only one (albeit important) part of his personality.

Many Aries men have Mercury and/or Venus in Pisces, the most forgiving of signs. He might be a warrior-martyr, initially feeling irritated and then believing he deserved to be a victim of your errant behavior. Then you can forgive him!

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Labels: aries, astrology

If there is any sign with enough energy to keep up with a Gemini, it's Aries. The Gemini man is restless, and wants to cover a lot of ground in little time. The Aries woman may not be able to match Gemini's quick wit, but she can win him over by taking him on a whirlwind tour of New York City, or hitting every vineyard in Northern CA. Taking the initiative suits Aries, and since she loses interest after the first step, she'll be right in line with Gemini, who's ready to move on to the next destination once he's taken in the sights.

Comment below: Are you an Aries? How have you snagged a Gemini man?

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Labels: aries, astrology, compatibility, gemini

What are you thinking? That's like beating up Aries Russell Crowe in Gladiator.

But, no, you must mean sexually conquer.

You've got an uphill battle, because Aries likes to do the conquerin'. Aries is ruled by Mars, the warrior planet. He likes to win. You're not likely to beat him at his own game.

However, you can be his better half. The Aries man is attracted to his opposite -- and what's the antithesis of brutish and aggressive?

Libra!

Be charming, gracious, beautiful and balanced. Once your Aries man stops grunting, he'll put down his stick and see that you make up for his boorishness.

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Labels: aries, astrology

Well, I wouldn't necessarily set them up on a blind date.

Aries acts on his impulses, without really thinking about, say, the correct spelling in a note or whether the coffee mugs are organized in the cabinet by color. Such sins are anathema to perfectionistic Virgo, who will feel compelled to reorganize the kitchen and type Aries' correspondence.

The Aries man, in turn, will feel irritated at having his independence squashed, being criticized for his spontaneity.

So, does he truly love Virgos? I don't think so.

Astrology Lesson:
Aries is a cardinal fire sign. Masculine, or yang.
Virgo is a mutable earth sign. Feminine, or yang.
These two signs have nothing in common.

For the Advanced Reader:
Maybe the Aries man has Mercury or Venus in Pisces, which at least would put him on a similar wavelength with Virgo. Both of these signs are mutable and feminine, or yin. Although there is a polarity between them, they both like to be of service.

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Labels: aries, astrology, compatibility, virgo

The challenge of going on a first date with an Aries is that he knows what he wants, and he wants it now. This is not a problem if your agenda matches his in both direction and speed. However, if you like to take things slow, you've got a problem in your hands.

Aries is ruled by Mars, the warrior planet. It is assertive, impulsive, direct. Aries, being the first sign of the zodiac, bursts forth, with little regard for its impact on others. In other words, the Aries man has a hard time understanding that there's a way other than his way.

Granted, a first date can be adventurous, risky, hot. (If you want it to get hotter, massage his scalp, and wear red!) But be prepared to navigate the age-old question, "So you gonna invite me up for a beer?"

The Aries man likes a challenge, but he hates having the door shut in his face. You don't want him to "ram" against it with his horns -- so if you're not ready for a wild ride tonight, propose a second date in the near future that will ignite his flame.

And if you're just not interested, be direct ... Aries does not pick up subtle signals.

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Labels: aries, astrology