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Micah (view chart) writes,

Labels: cancer, gemini

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anonomys writes,

I'm separated with 2 kids and i joined yahoo personals. This guy Capricorn found me and sent me a wink so i responded and we hit it off instantly!! It's now been a month. he's told me he's scared and he feels comfortable with me. our chemistry is great! the problem is he's separated with 2 boys and i think he might be confused. we've had 4 dates but texting and calling all the time. I feel like i've known him forever and he says the same to me. he also says that it's effortless with me. he told me he doesn't understand how i came into his life. I feel like he does like me and is attracted to me but this past weekend when we were together he left me feeling rejected. We were having sex and he lost his stamina. He continued to be sweet and caress me but then in the morning he became aloof. Then he asked me if i was mad about what happened because i seemed off. I responded no and left soon after. He walked me out, kissed me, and hasn't called me since. That was yesterday morning. He hasn't missed a day yet.

I know he's confused and he has a lot on his plate. i don't know what to do. i'm not going to contact him. is that right? do you think he'll contact me or is he cutting his loses? if i don't hear from him, should i let him know how i felt?

Your Capricorn boyfriend (view chart) has Mars -- planet of sexuality and the male ego -- in well-controlled (and long-lasting) Scorpio. With a placement like this, it is possible that losing his erection during the sexual act is a rare occurrence. Scorpio is a fixed sign, which suggests determination and the ability to "carry it through" until the end.

There are many reasons why a guy might lose his hard-on. Anxiety is a frequent cause. He may have put pressure on himself to perform -- and as a Capricorn, he probably has high expectations of himself. But sometimes a guy can lose it if the moment just doesn't feel right -- his body simply communicates his feelings about the relationship.

Over the weekend, there was a Grand Earth Trine, which means that three planets were in Earth signs, all making supportive 120-degree angles to each other. Pluto has recently entered Capricorn, Saturn just stationed direct at 1 degree Virgo, and Venus recently entered Taurus. Your guy's Mars is at 1 degree Scorpio, so Venus opposed it while Saturn and Pluto are (still) sextiling it. The Venus-Mars influence would have been great for lovemaking, as an opposition between the planets of love and sex creates steam -- and Taurus and Scorpio are two of the sexiest signs in the zodiac. However, Saturn and Pluto are both heavy planets. Their sextile to his Mars wouldn't create lots of stress, but they still have an influence.

Saturn apparently stopped moving backwards this past Friday. Anytime a planet stations retrograde or direct, its archetypal energy is potent. Saturn is your guy's ruling planet, so he would be especially sensitive to its movement. A Saturn-Mars contact can relate to the restriction or obstruction of desire or sexual potency. I imagine this is the culprit. Saturn didn't cause his "lack of stamina" to happen -- we'd have to look at the details of his life to see what's going on, and as I don't have his exact birth time, I don't know what house Saturn is transiting in his chart. But a Saturn station can bring a feeling of deficiency in whichever house it transits.

Regardless, he probably feels shame about what happened, as well as anger -- at himself, maybe even you if he can't "own it." I suggest you be honest with him. Just tell him that you're OK with what happened, that you find him vital and sexy. That you're sure both of you are nervous and excited about where this relationship is going. And that you want to to be there for him to talk about his fears. You (view chart) can do this -- you're a Cancer, after all. And with a Sun-Saturn conjunction, a Cap is an appropriate match for you. So don't let him run away!

~ Jeffrey

Labels: capricorn, mars, scorpio

The following guest post is by Beth Turnage of Astrology Explored.

Who are we attracted to? Who lights our fire? Pop psychology tells us we fall in love with our mothers, but it is more complicated than that. The key to who we are attracted to is in our personal planets and certain house cusps.

Since, in our culture, we expect our partners to fill defined gender roles, we first look at the Sun and Moon. If you are a heterosexual woman, you expect your partner to fill the masculine role defined by your Sun sign. If you are a heterosexual man, your Moon defines your image of femininity. It is not necessary that your partner shares your Sun or Moon sign, but that they represent the images of those planets. If you are an Aries woman, you see a man as being masculine by being aggressive, passionate and sociable. Sensitive, shy Pisces need not apply! If you are Pisces man with an Aries moon, your idea of femininity includes that of the Huntress -- assertive, passionate and sociable.

Venus represents the things that you love. It represents the values that are important to you. Venus tells you the qualities that are the deal makers and the deal breakers in a relationship. If you have Venus in Capricorn, you value someone who carries their own natural authority, who is steady and reliable, and who can elevate your status in life. Eventually, if the person you are interested in fails to live up to this ideal, you drop them.

Mars is our sexual attraction radar. The zodiac sign in which your Mars is placed tells you the manner in which the mating instinct acts on you. If you have Mars in the intellectual sign of Gemini, you find witty, social and intelligent people very sexy. If you have Mars in Leo, you are attracted to the alpha male or female because you believe you deserve nothing less than the best. If your Mars is in Cancer, you desire someone to nurture you. It gets you all hot when your special someone serves you breakfast in bed.

The sign on the cusp of the Fifth House of Romance tells you how you like your loving. With slow and steady Taurus, you want to take your time, and be wooed with flowers and chocolates. With Sagittarius, you want to fall in love with love, with the nearest person to you!

The Seventh House tells you the kind of partner you want to marry. If you have Aquarius on the Seventh House cusp, you want someone who is intelligent, social, and unusual in some way. The person may come from a different country or culture, or be much younger or in some cases, much older than you.

The Eighth House talks about how you like your sex. The sign on the cusp of the Eighth is very descriptive of how you make love and how you want want love made to you. If you've got Virgo on the Eighth, you want to be wickedly seduced; in Pisces, you want to be romanced.

If you don't know where your personal planets lie, you can go here to get a list of planets in your personal chart.

Here is partial list of zodiac keywords that you can match with your personal planets:

Aries	Courageous, energetic, confident, ardent, competitive
Taurus	Persevering, loyal, sensual, steady, gentle, practical
Gemini	Curious, communicative, sophisticated, agile, perceptive
Cancer	Sensitive, family-oriented, nurturing, protective, emotional
Leo	Noble, creative, loyal, energetic, dignified, proud, optimistic, affectionate
Virgo	Health and hygiene conscious, detail-oriented, practical, conscientious, sensual
Libra	Gracious, elegant, romantic, cooperative, sociable, balancing-seeking, fair-minded
Scorpio	Sexy, deep, resourceful, passionate, magnetic, powerful
Sagittarius	Adventurous, philosophical, cheerful, extroverted, athletic
Capricorn	Organized, responsible, cautious, dutiful, persistent, patient, realistic, loyal
Aquarius	Innovative, friendly, ingenious, individualistic, progressive, intellectual
Pisces	Imaginative, romantic, sensitive, compassionate, sympathetic, dreamy

You may notice as you go through the signs and the keywords that there are parts of you at odds with another. If you have a gentle Taurus Sun but a go-getter Aries moon, for instance, you find it hard to sit still, yet you are annoyed that you can't. These contradictions carry through to our relationships, where we find we desire vastly divergent qualities in our partners as well. A key to building a successful relationships is to understand where the incompatibilities in our charts build difficult, sometimes impossible expectations of our partners. When we make peace with those contradictory elements in ourselves, we can have more reasonable expectations of our partners.

About the Author
Beth is a professional astrologer with over twenty years experience counseling clients in career and relationship issues. She writes an astrology column for a weekly newspaper along the Connecticut shoreline and blogs about astrology daily at the 451 Press blog Astrology Explored.

More by Beth on Seduction Central: What Planet Rules Your Romance?

Comment below: Who do you love, and how do you see his or her qualities reflected in your natal chart?

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Chrissy included birth data for herself (chart) and her Pisces guy (chart) and writes,
Opposites attract, as they say ... but they also drive each other nuts. Virgo's all about the details, whereas Pisces can't find his keys. They both share an orientation towards service. Helping others is their meeting place, and they make a great team, for Pisces provides compassion while Virgo does the case management.

But there's way more than Sun sign compatibility to this relationship. Pisces does need time alone, as this sensitive sign gets overstimulated easily. However, your Pisces guy needs to feel independent for other reasons, and this impulse may be driving his absences. Both his love planets -- Mars and Venus -- are in "I want it NOW" Aries, making a 120-degree angle ("trine") to his Moon, Jupiter and Uranus in fiery Sagittarius. His Moon (needs) requires lots o' space, and Jupiter and Uranus are the two most excitable and adventurous planets in the solar system. He may be a peaceable Pisces, but he's also a very restless soul who needs inspiring experiences to feed his soul.

Meanwhile, you have your Moon and Ascendant in controlling/possessive Scorpio, and Sun and Venus in risk-averse Virgo. These "yin" signs are not an ideal match for his Fire. He may feel held back by you, hence his apparent frustration. But I wonder if (on some level) you want a guy who's occasionally missing? Your Mars-Uranus conjunction can correspond with a young man (Mars) who is distant/unpredictable (Uranus).

There are two ways to go with this: either stop trying to control him (so that he doesn't feel he needs his space so much) or tell him it's unacceptable to not date you on a frequent and predictable basis. The latter option is called "stating your needs." His Fire planets could tell you you're making too many demands on him, in which case he might split entirely. Or his Pisces Sun -- which needs to be pinned down once in a while, because Water needs form -- may fall into line with your expectations.

Comment below: What do you think Chrissy needs to do with her Pisces guy?

Labels: pisces, virgo