Talking about what you want: Mercury-Venus aspects
Sometimes we get caught up in the power of the outer planets, but even a little trickster like Mercury -- planet of communication -- can cause havoc in one's love life, which is traditionally ruled by Venus.
In one's natal chart, the widest possible aspect these planets can make to each other is the sextile, or 60-degree angle, because they both travel so close to the Sun. So the only truly "stressful" aspects they can make are the semi-sextile (30 degrees) and semisquare (45 degrees). However, each planet makes all possible angles to the other via transit.
A flowing combination between Mercury and Venus can manifest as a certain grace or charm in the use of one's words. Language is sweet, or musical, or used in the service of cooperation. What you say can "go down easy." If you have the sextile, you may be more aware of their interplay than if you have the conjunction, because conjoined planets are so unified that you don't see them as separate.
If you have these planets at a 30- or 45-degree angle to each other (plus or minus 2 degrees), they don't work as well together. You may have difficulty communicating your values or desires, essentially making it a challenge to get what you want from others. The manner in which you think and talk conflicts with the the way you attract others. For example, a Scorpio Venus prefers to remain hidden and mysterious, while her Sagittarius Mercury is blunt and outspoken. Or an attention-loving Venus Leo may have trouble flirting once her Virgo Mercury is called to the task.
A transit from Mercury to natal Venus -- or from Venus to natal Mercury -- will be short-lived, only lasting a few days (depending on the orbs you use), unless the transiting planet is aspecting the other three times in the same cycle due to retrograde motion. The general theme of how you talk about what you desire may come up during these transits. During the opposition, a partner may "take on" the role of the transiting planet, voicing a point of view that challenges what you're used to. You may try to find a balance between opposing perspectives during this time, but unless the transit is long (once again, due to the transiting planet's retrograde movement), you may just have a quick argument that finds no immediate resolution.
Comment below: How difficult is it to speak about your desires?
Photo by kalandrakas, under Creative Commons license
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posted by Jeffrey Kishner at 6/11/2008
13 Comments:
Since Mercury is the planet of communication, i.e. it helps us(or not depending on the aspects) communicate our needs, what planet/s is/are responsible for making us not listen to what our partner is telling us??? Is Mercury responsible for both expressing & receiving communication or just the expressive part?? And if it's responsible for both, then will a hard aspect between Venus & Mercury make us deaf to our partner's communication about his/her desires too in addition to making it difficult for us to commmunicate our needs???
Just curious..:-)
"For example, a Scorpio Venus prefers to remain hidden and mysterious, while her Sagittarius Mercury is blunt and outspoken."
And how! I have this placement and it's always a struggle for me to express myself without being too extreme and forceful. There isn't much in between silent brooding and lets-get-down-to-business. I'll give a guy no indication that I'm into him for weeks, then clobber him with something extremely direct and sexual.
@scorpnights, thanks for sharing how these placements play out for you.
@shygirl, I seem to recall that astropsychologist Glenn Perry wrote about the Moon's role in listening. Mercury will show how you take in information, but really, the Moon is reflective and receptive.
Venus and Mercury in Aries.
I just say it, quickly and blunt, and move on.
Sometimes what I say and express sounds like a challenge to the other person.
My Mercury and Venus are both in Sag, so I'm not afraid of expressing my feelings in a relationship. I'll tell a guy straight no chaser -- and enjoy any shock value.
It may even evolve 4-letter words. And it will always have unique philosophical color, making even the most lewd phrasing seem profound and intriguing.
I LOVE that!
(due to my Scorp influence, I'll lean in and whisper these things, making them even more effective -- and of course there will be a reference to sex or sensuality without blush.)
oh! -- I wonder if my Venus Sag is also why I get bored quickly with foreplay and want to jump right to the main event? Probably! :0)
My Venus and Mercury are both in Aquarius...I have no idea what I'm going to say until after I've said it. But I usually have no trouble being fairly blunt, once I manage to identify a need.
But I do have this related problem that's bugged me for years: I'm no good at talking dirty. I love it when somone else does it, but my efforts are just weirdly sad. I'm too literal, and hate cliche...dirty talk is all about three or four seriously overused phrases, I think, and I can't bring myself to use them with a straight face. But trying to be creative and original under these circumstances has been disastrous...funny as hell sometimes, yeah, but not exactly sexy. (Sigh.)
Like "&$#* me with your $#%, #@&! &$#%"?
If only it were that sexy, Jeff, if only. The day I learn how to pronounce "&$#* I'll be much better off.
One of the worst I ever came up with was "I want you so badly it makes me nauseous." Which was literally true-- and obviously not something you hear everyday-- but evidently it's not all that alluring as a bedroom line.
Which I find fundamentally odd. My favorite compliment of all time was "Your lips are like big trampolines...I feel like just falling onto them and bouncing around for hours!" How in the world can someone resist something like that? It's original, it arises from a real impulse, it's targeted at the specific person in question...but granted, no nausea is mentioned. Perhaps that's the difference.
*%$#@ $#*!& !!
Laura, you're too funny.....:-) Did you take the trampoline comment about your lips seriously BTW??
I would have just started laughing. My problem is if someone tries to dirty talk with me, I just burst into giggles. I don't know what part my chart makes me do that.....:-)
@Shaygirl, are you related to shygirl?
@Jeffrey.....LOL........I didn't realize I typed 'Shaygirl' instead of 'Shygirl'.....:-) So, yes I'm very intimately related to Shygirl......I'm her twin.....:-)
haha... I think talking dirty, you have to be rude...
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