anonomys writes,

I'm separated with 2 kids and i joined yahoo personals. This guy Capricorn found me and sent me a wink so i responded and we hit it off instantly!! It's now been a month. he's told me he's scared and he feels comfortable with me. our chemistry is great! the problem is he's separated with 2 boys and i think he might be confused. we've had 4 dates but texting and calling all the time. I feel like i've known him forever and he says the same to me. he also says that it's effortless with me. he told me he doesn't understand how i came into his life. I feel like he does like me and is attracted to me but this past weekend when we were together he left me feeling rejected. We were having sex and he lost his stamina. He continued to be sweet and caress me but then in the morning he became aloof. Then he asked me if i was mad about what happened because i seemed off. I responded no and left soon after. He walked me out, kissed me, and hasn't called me since. That was yesterday morning. He hasn't missed a day yet.

I know he's confused and he has a lot on his plate. i don't know what to do. i'm not going to contact him. is that right? do you think he'll contact me or is he cutting his loses? if i don't hear from him, should i let him know how i felt?

Your Capricorn boyfriend (view chart) has Mars -- planet of sexuality and the male ego -- in well-controlled (and long-lasting) Scorpio. With a placement like this, it is possible that losing his erection during the sexual act is a rare occurrence. Scorpio is a fixed sign, which suggests determination and the ability to "carry it through" until the end.

There are many reasons why a guy might lose his hard-on. Anxiety is a frequent cause. He may have put pressure on himself to perform -- and as a Capricorn, he probably has high expectations of himself. But sometimes a guy can lose it if the moment just doesn't feel right -- his body simply communicates his feelings about the relationship.

Over the weekend, there was a Grand Earth Trine, which means that three planets were in Earth signs, all making supportive 120-degree angles to each other. Pluto has recently entered Capricorn, Saturn just stationed direct at 1 degree Virgo, and Venus recently entered Taurus. Your guy's Mars is at 1 degree Scorpio, so Venus opposed it while Saturn and Pluto are (still) sextiling it. The Venus-Mars influence would have been great for lovemaking, as an opposition between the planets of love and sex creates steam -- and Taurus and Scorpio are two of the sexiest signs in the zodiac. However, Saturn and Pluto are both heavy planets. Their sextile to his Mars wouldn't create lots of stress, but they still have an influence.

Saturn apparently stopped moving backwards this past Friday. Anytime a planet stations retrograde or direct, its archetypal energy is potent. Saturn is your guy's ruling planet, so he would be especially sensitive to its movement. A Saturn-Mars contact can relate to the restriction or obstruction of desire or sexual potency. I imagine this is the culprit. Saturn didn't cause his "lack of stamina" to happen -- we'd have to look at the details of his life to see what's going on, and as I don't have his exact birth time, I don't know what house Saturn is transiting in his chart. But a Saturn station can bring a feeling of deficiency in whichever house it transits.

Regardless, he probably feels shame about what happened, as well as anger -- at himself, maybe even you if he can't "own it." I suggest you be honest with him. Just tell him that you're OK with what happened, that you find him vital and sexy. That you're sure both of you are nervous and excited about where this relationship is going. And that you want to to be there for him to talk about his fears. You (view chart) can do this -- you're a Cancer, after all. And with a Sun-Saturn conjunction, a Cap is an appropriate match for you. So don't let him run away!

~ Jeffrey

Labels: capricorn, mars, scorpio