How to make a Libra man feel guilty
To feel remorse, you first have to be aware of -- and respect -- the experience of another being. Unfortunately, many people are either sociopathic or just not mature enough to recognize that others deserve fair treatment. The foundation of this understanding is based on rules and laws, moral codes that are hammered into our heads by our parents and society. This superegoic consciousness can be represented by Saturn. This strict planet is not all bad -- it is appropriate to repress certain instincts, when acting on them hurts others. Think of the Ten Commandments: It's not OK to steal or screw your neighbor's spouse, for example. If we all did whatever our instincts told us to do, we'd live in chaos.
And yet, our parents and society also teach us to repress vital parts of ourselves -- in the service of conformity, as well as submission to the State. Is it not sad that -- in becoming aware of our talents and desires that meet disapproval from the mainstream -- we feel like we are trespassing, or doing something wrong?
Libra, the sign in which Saturn finds its exaltation, is focused on doing what appears right or culturally appropriate. There is a core of strength in Libra, in its focus on fairness, justice and balance. And yet there is also a wishy-washy quality that comes from being so focused on pleasing all parties that Libra does not know what to do -- he does not trust his insides because he does not want to lose face.
How does a Libra feel when he violates his own sense of what is just?
All things being equal, a Libra may be less likely to be uncouth or to outright hurt another's feelings than other Sun signs. It is difficult to act on one's impulses when "the done thing" is foremost in one's mind. But if he has, say, a personal planet in blunt Sagittarius, critical Virgo, vindictive Scorpio or elitist Leo, he may relate in a manner that violates his own sense of decorum.
If there is an opportunity to make a Libra feel guilty, it is by exploiting the inner conflict between (A) his priority on civility and fair treatment; and (B) his impulses that conflict with the values embraced by his conscious Self. That is, to make his Libra Sun feel offended by the behavior of one of his subpersonalities.
You may need to draw special attention to how one of his other personal planets acts in a depraved manner, for a Libra may very well disown this planet and project it on to others, as he cannot bear acknowledging that there is a part of himself that can be so crude.
Bear in mind that the point of this exercise is not to make him feel guilty out of malevolence, but rather to help him find a higher expression for parts of himself that are underdeveloped.
There is a risk, though, of aiding in the suppression of healthy instincts that just happen to not be "nice." There is a place for bluntness, for exposing ugly truths, for being critical in order to help someone make improvements upon themselves. Not all human behavior needs to be "sugar and spice and everything nice." So, if you care about your Libra man, use guilt sparingly, for if he remains stuck in his Sun sign modus operandi, he will rarely express any emotional depth or engage in meaningful exchanges in the pursuit of a higher truth.
Comment below: What would a Libra feel guilty about?
And yet, our parents and society also teach us to repress vital parts of ourselves -- in the service of conformity, as well as submission to the State. Is it not sad that -- in becoming aware of our talents and desires that meet disapproval from the mainstream -- we feel like we are trespassing, or doing something wrong?
Libra, the sign in which Saturn finds its exaltation, is focused on doing what appears right or culturally appropriate. There is a core of strength in Libra, in its focus on fairness, justice and balance. And yet there is also a wishy-washy quality that comes from being so focused on pleasing all parties that Libra does not know what to do -- he does not trust his insides because he does not want to lose face.
How does a Libra feel when he violates his own sense of what is just?
All things being equal, a Libra may be less likely to be uncouth or to outright hurt another's feelings than other Sun signs. It is difficult to act on one's impulses when "the done thing" is foremost in one's mind. But if he has, say, a personal planet in blunt Sagittarius, critical Virgo, vindictive Scorpio or elitist Leo, he may relate in a manner that violates his own sense of decorum.
If there is an opportunity to make a Libra feel guilty, it is by exploiting the inner conflict between (A) his priority on civility and fair treatment; and (B) his impulses that conflict with the values embraced by his conscious Self. That is, to make his Libra Sun feel offended by the behavior of one of his subpersonalities.
You may need to draw special attention to how one of his other personal planets acts in a depraved manner, for a Libra may very well disown this planet and project it on to others, as he cannot bear acknowledging that there is a part of himself that can be so crude.
Bear in mind that the point of this exercise is not to make him feel guilty out of malevolence, but rather to help him find a higher expression for parts of himself that are underdeveloped.
There is a risk, though, of aiding in the suppression of healthy instincts that just happen to not be "nice." There is a place for bluntness, for exposing ugly truths, for being critical in order to help someone make improvements upon themselves. Not all human behavior needs to be "sugar and spice and everything nice." So, if you care about your Libra man, use guilt sparingly, for if he remains stuck in his Sun sign modus operandi, he will rarely express any emotional depth or engage in meaningful exchanges in the pursuit of a higher truth.
Comment below: What would a Libra feel guilty about?
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posted by Jeffrey Kishner at 4/22/2008
7 Comments:
I was dating an Libra man with Saturn in Aries, I'm a Gemini women with Saturn in Leo. He was too vain and perfect to make mistakes. His Moon was in Gemini and my moon is in Leo. We got into very BAD and emotional Fights.
In response to the question, What would a Libra feel guilty about? I'm not a Libra but I have a Libra Moon and the ruler of my Sag first house is in Libra. The think that stops me in my tracks and makes me start weighing things (again) is someone saying "You're not being fair", or "That's not fair." Even if it's a child. Not being fair makes Libras feel guilty. However, once I'm sure I'm being fair to everyone, I just assume that the person that said it is being selfish.
I'm curious, lunarlibra, when you catch yourself not being fair, what's your motivation for not being fair? Do you associate it with one of your other planets?
No, I think that the Planets show your inclinations. You still have free will. I'm never unfair. (Not that I know of, my family vouches for me:) But I must confess that I can't take credit for that. Once when I was about 9 or 10 I was upset with my brother for taking my underwear out of my drawer to wear. (He was an Aries, he wanted it, he took it) I was mad about it and I talked to God about how selfish my brother was and my family in general. Then I heard a voice (literally in my spirit) I could hear it, very quiet, very peaceful yet authoritative. It said that I was the selfish one. I thought that was a mistake, and questioned how that could be true. He said, "You wouldn't notice them trying to have their way if you weren't trying to have yours." I still use this as my yardstick.
I've only had this said to me by my daughter when she was little and my ex-wife (don't remember what it was about).
Ok, well I said I was not going to comment on blogs for a while but I'm married to a double Libra, so how can I resist?!
Anyway...being an Aries sun married to a Libra sun, rising and Mars is quite interesting. It's an educational experience for both of us. I guess being married to a double anything is interesting.
Ok, I will try not to ramble. Actually I feel really lucky to have such a Libran husband.
When we first were married I was often frustrated because of the obvious and apparent differences between us. I was more impulsive, obviously, with Aries, and he always hung back and deliberated on everything.
In fact I think we had a tendency to really polarize and almost go to the extremes of that dynamic, but over time we started to even each other out. It's almost like we both needed to develop various parts of our personalities and become more well-rounded. Or bring out certain qualities of ourselves that hadn't been expressed before.
Ok, well anyway. Back to the topic at hand! What makes a Libra man feel guilty? Well from my observation anyway, he seems to feel the most guilty if he's done something too impulsive (it feels unnatural to him) and he isn't sure he made the right decision, and obviously if he feels something is unfair. I'm sure there are many, many other possibilities of course. I'll definitely have to ask him about it when I see him.
Happy Tuesday...
Thanks Uncle Hannah!
I asked my double Libra husband and he agreed with the 'not being fair' thing, and not being able to keep a promise bothers him very much.
I asked him if the Scorpio stuff in his chart bothered his Libra sensibilities (he has Scorpio moon and mercury). He said he doesn't entertain most of the Scorpio stuff.
He said "I use the Scorpio stuff to get a better idea of whether I'm being fair. Instead of being subversive I get all the info (investigation) to gather information."
Me: What about if you lie or manipulate information?
Him: (laughs) strangely no (doesn't make him feel guilty). For the same reason, because I'm trying to get information. I only do it when I think I need to. I don't do it very often. I feel guilty if I didn't do something and want to cover it up (Scorpio) or I also feel bad about telling the truth and getting in trouble. I'd rather have the internal guilt than the external guilt of punishment(Scorpio's fear of exposure). I'd rather keep the peace.
Note: Jeremy has a sociology degree and is naturally very investigative and analytical. He also has a 12th house Sun and Mars (both in Libra) which I think contribute to his isolation/fear of exposure thing, but also his desire to help.
p.s. he gave me permission to post this. I think he'd kill me if I 'exposed' him without permission. Hehehee...
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