The following guest post is by horary astrologer Christine N. Davis.

Dear Christine,

Help! I am a Virgo woman dating a Capricorn man. My question to you is, can he ever really be monogamous? He loves women. I can't tell if he has a hard time being monogamous due to his sign or due to the fact that maybe he has low self-esteem and has a high need to be validated by women. What do you think?

Also, his best friend is a woman that he has known for 12 years and who actually works with him at a business they just started. He says they are only friends. I think she wants more, even though she lives with her boyfriend. But they go on seminars together and sleep in the same bed but don't touch - at least that's what my boyfriend says. He says he's not sexually interested in her but loves her as a friend. I feel jealous and confused because I don't think there are clear enough boundaries. Come on - sleeping in the same bed and he is dating me and she has a live-in boyfriend? Am I too sensitive?

J. is for jealousy

Dear J.,

I'll be honest. I think we're too kind, sometimes, to the ones we love - at our own expense. We feel hurt and confused by something they do, but instead of confronting them about it or voicing our needs in a clear, direct way, we try to excuse it by blaming it on their sun signs. "He can't help it, he's a Capricorn." Yeah, well, a skunk by any other name - or any other sign - is still going to reek.

Let's see if a horary chart can tell us what's going on. Horary astrology uses the chart of the moment the question is "born" to provide an answer. A lot of what I say here will sound strange if you're only familiar with sun-sign astrology. But I love the way horary astrology cuts to the chase in questions like this.

First, you may be on to something when you suggest he needs validation from women. The Sun, which in this chart stands for his libido, is in Pisces, the sign where Venus is exalted. Sun exalts Venus: this Man idealizes Woman. But here's the interesting part: he is not happy about where his libido is taking him. His other planet in this chart is Mercury in Aquarius - the sign where the Sun is in its detriment. Turn the tables and we see that Sun is in the sign where Mercury is in its detriment (AND its fall). "English, please, Christine!" Simply put, his mind hates the way his mojo leads him; and his mojo hates the fact that he feels so conflicted. The mind is in better shape by sign - Mercury has a decent amount of essential dignity in Aquarius - but with the Sun on an angle (in this case, conjunct this chart's Ascendant), his libido is what's running the show.

So he's a decent guy with a weakness for the ladies. What about this specific woman, his friend and coworker? Are they just trying to save the business some cash when they share hotel rooms - and beds - at seminars? (Haven't they heard of Priceline?) Several indications in this chart make me doubt his story that he "loves her as a friend." For one thing, Mercury, his planet, is located in your 12th house of secrets. This tells me he's not being straight with you at all; he's got something to hide. For another, Mercury is showing a huge interest in Saturn in this chart, and Saturn loves Mercury right back. On top of that, your planet, Jupiter, is suffering because it's in Saturn's sign; and Saturn is in a sign where it can't stand you. Who does Saturn represent? I say it's the friend/colleague/bedwarmer.

But! I can see no evidence in this chart that they've acted on their feelings, nor that they're about to any time soon. And your man still wants you very much. You see, two of the planets representing you are Jupiter and Venus. Your guy, as Sun in Pisces, loves Jupiter and exalts Venus: that's you. You're the one he's with, you're the one he wants. I can assure you of that.

That's what you need to leverage, J. In my opinion (and with this chart backing me up), you're absolutely justified in feeling that his boundaries around this colleague are too lax. He cares about you, but he can't read your mind, so find a way to express how his actions affect you. If you want to say that his penchant for sharing hotel beds with colleagues hurts your feelings and makes you want to withdraw from him, say so. Use "I" statements, not "you" statements, so he understands the impact of his actions on your feelings without feeling personally attacked. Your heart, represented by the Moon, is in Mercury's sign Gemini, so use your words and tell him how his behavior affects you.

J., thank you for writing to me with your question. Good luck, and let me know how things work out!

- Christine

About the Author
Christine N. Davis (askchristine.wordpress.com) offers traditional horary astrology readings. Her writing has appeared in The Mountain Astrologer. For private consultations, visit her website at www.askchristine.info. If you would like Christine to consider your question about relationships for Seduction Central, email her at seduction@askchristine.info.

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