Tasha included a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

ok im a scorpio female and my boyfriend is a cancer.

i feel that we are soul mates, i just love him so much. well the problem is he just tends to always get hurt by the things i say...even when im just joking wit him, he'll leave the room and give me the slient treatment for a minute until i go after him and make him talk to me, but then when he finally do talk, he starts cryin and letting out all this emotion.

and im like :" where is all this coming from? " i mean this is a all the time type thing.... sometimes i have to kiss him and show alot of affection to get him to open up. anyway my question is

is there any way that i can get him to toughen up ? ? ? all that sensitive gots to go. i thought cancers were like there sign, hard on the outside, soft on the inside.

Your Cancer is a double Cancer, with both his Sun and Moon in this sensitive sign. "Hard on the outside" has different manifestations: for him, it's leaving the room and giving you the silent treatment, i.e., retreating into his shell. It is only when you seek him out that the softness comes out.

You cannot get him to toughen up. He is who he is. Better to focus on what you say that makes him feel hurt. You are extremely Scorpionic: Scorpio Rising, a Mercury-Saturn conjunction in Scorpio, and a Sun-Pluto conjunction in Scorpio. You may have a tendency to shoot verbal barbs laced with criticism and judgment. In addition, your Sun-Pluto conjunction in the 12th House suggests that you are not conscious of how you wield this intense power you have to expose people's weaknesses. What kind of defense can a crab shell provide against a Sun-Pluto conjunction in Scorpio? It's like you are in a possession of a nuclear bomb, and you don't know how to use it.

Your boyfriend also doesn't have it easy. His Sun-Moon conjunction in Cancer is opposed by Mars -- he is prone to experiencing anger coming from outside of himself, and directed at him. It is possible that he has projected his Mars onto you (remember that Mars is the traditional ruler of Scorpio), 'making' you more likely to take on the role of the aggressor.

Comment below to provide Tasha feedback, or discuss Cancer-Scorpio compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, cancer, scorpio

There's been a lot of aggression expressed in both the forum and blog over the last 48 hours. I recognize that only a very small minority of regular readers actually participate in the comments section. I'm not sure how many of you actually read them. (Please answer the poll at the end of this post.)

WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE SKY?

Mars is in Cancer. People express their anger in an indirect manner, or they act aggressively to protect others. The Moon conjoined Mars yesterday, stimulating people's anger.

Mercury is retrograde in Libra, about to station direct. Miscommunication is rampant, and people are having difficulty writing with tact and diplomacy. As I write this post, the Moon in Cancer is just two degrees away from making a 90-degree angle ("square") to Mercury (it will be "exact" later today). More hurt feelings resulting from poor communication.

EVERYONE ... this will pass. Mercury goes direct tomorrow. We are currently in a fog of confusion as Neptune goes direct today. Unfortunately, Mars will go retrograde in Cancer on November 15 and won't go direct until the end of January.

I know it's Halloween, but that doesn't give us a free pass to be horror-ble to each other.

Although costumes are customary on Halloween, we all wear masks the other 364 days of the year. We put on our best face, especially when navigating the dangerous territory known as the dating world. We all want to be liked -- the problem is that you don't always know what's underneath your date's exterior. All sorts of creepy crawlies may come out from underneath his or her pleasant façade during your night on the town. It can be truly frightening!

Read the full article -- by Yours Truly -- at Tarot.com.

The following guest post is by Matthew Currie.

Halloween is approaching -- that night when North American children dress up in strange costumes and extort candy from the neighbors. As festive occasions go, it's pretty straightforward: the kids go door to door, they look cute, they're rewarded with treats. Sometimes it's the good stuff ... sometimes it's really bad crap that's only good for throwing at people.

Sounds a little like dating, doesn't it?

If you're reading this blog, odds are good you have at least a passing familiarity with your Sun Sign and your Moon Sign. As seduction techniques, playing to those factors in your chart can be very effective. But let's not forget about your Venus, either. There's a tendency to look at a person's Venus as if it were some sort of passive love-receiver. But if your Venus is part of your personal charm, I say put it to work. You might be surprised at the results. Think of it as an extra spin you can put on your persona -- the appealing wrapper you come in, so to speak.

Here's how the twelve Venus signs would dress for Halloween, going door to door looking for that perfect man-candy. Go ahead, play it up. You might get quite the treat...

Aries - Wonder Woman. You're bold, you're daring, and you don't take any crap. It's the discerning man who develops a taste for The Queen Of Amazonia, and the lucky one who who can keep up with her. And what man worth the time doesn't love that kind of challenge?

Taurus - Raggedy Ann. So sweet and cuddly and undeniably girly. A little bit old-fashioned, the kind of girl that Mom would approve of, but in a good way. This is the kind of woman who understands how the scent of freshly baked chocolate cookies -- figuratively or literally -- works like a pheromone on men. The woman for men who really like women.

Gemini - Clown. You're funny. You have a light touch, and a certain universal appeal. Never forget than when a man is looking for a new relationship, he's also looking for fun, in one sense or another. And that sparkling wit and liveliness may be exactly what he's looking for.

Cancer - Pirate. When you love, it's as deep as the sea itself. And that peculiar openness/defensiveness you have can be a call to adventure for the right man. And, admittedly, you can be a challenge to a man who's sailing the smooth seas of singlehood for too long. Ahrrr! Make up you own "booty" joke.

Leo - Cheerleader. 2, 4, 6, 8? What do men really appreciate? Showmanship! Showmanship! Rah rah rah! And what real man, with a little encouragement, can resist the urge to run the ball down field? There's a reason cheer-leading is so popular -- and it ain't got nothing to do with sports, Sister. It's the show.

Virgo - Nurse. So kind, so patient, so caring. Yes, there's a certain facade of professional detachment, but that can only increase the thrill of getting past that uniform. This is an incredibly subtle, feminine placement. Used wisely, it can drive a man absolutely bonkers ... in a good way.

Libra - Bunny. Cute friendly affectionate bunny! Who couldn't love that? Bunnies don't threaten or coerce anyone, and that's why people love them so much. You can only look at that sort of thing for so long before someone wants to pet it. Also, bunnies have a reputation for something else -- but we'll get into that later...

Scorpio - Witch. Not the scary, creepy kind -- the one with the black fishnets on. Mysterious and powerful, and not afraid to reach into her big bag of tricks to get what she wants. Men used to be scared of witches for the power they represented -- nowadays, the smart ones want in on the secret. Use that.

Sagittarius - Cowgirl. Yee-ha! We're having a good time now! Sporty (even if you aren't into sports) and adventurous (even if it's just your taste in reading material). If every man is just an overgrown boy, you're the kind of girl he would have imagined himself with when he was five. Now he's all grown up, and he likes girls. Ride 'em!

Capricorn - Hooker. In control, aware of your assets, and straight to the point. You have an ability to scope out what you want from the crowd and walk right up to it. You can turn a tasteful pair of heels into the husky click that hypnotizes its prey. You know why hookers dress the way they do? It's efficient. It works. Duh.

Aquarius - Alien. Different. Not from around here. Intriguing as hell. Venus in Aquarius types have a reputation for being detached and hard to figure out, compared to their sisters -- but it's that kind of mystery and sense of exploration that landed men on the Moon. And there are still plenty of explorers out there who'd love to plant their flag on you.

Pisces - Hippie Chick. Dreamy, hazy, and all about the love, baby. You've got that deep and dreamy look in those big dewey eyes of yours. They're incredibly feminine, and a single look from them goes a long way. Generally speaking, men don't read romance novels. Let them read you instead. It's the same thing, only less embarrassing to be caught doing in front of his pals.

Now go out there and have some fun. And brush your teeth -- all that romance could lead to cavities.

About the Author
Matthew Currie has been a professional astrologer and counselor for twenty years, with numerous appearances on television and radio. Drop by his web site and feel free to pet the monkey. He's friendly.

Comment below: What will you dress up as for Halloween?

Labels: astrology, venus

From the comments section:

just go on www.astro.com, plug in your stats

if your natal chart comes up with a nasty red triangle, that's a T-square

and the only way to tame this beast is balance it off with the missing leg

study the degree that is the missing leg

and pursue it with a passion

you will be cured

In a T-Square, three planets are involved in "hard" aspects to each other, such that two planets are opposing each other (180-degree angle) and a third planet squares both (90-degree angles). Unless this is an out-of-sign aspect, all three planets are in the same mode: cardinal, fixed or mutable.

Commonly, astrologers suggest to a client that they resolve the tension of the T-Square by working on the fourth sign in that modality, that therein lies the solution. For example, if you have a mutable T-square with Pluto in Virgo in the 3rd House, Moon in Pisces in the Ninth House and Venus in Gemini in the 12th House (I'm not naming any names here), you would look to develop Sagittarius in the 6th. You would come up with a handful of interpretations of what Sag in the 6th means, and then "pursue them with a passion."

What I'd like to know is has anyone been truly cured by trying this approach? Please leave your comments below.

Labels: aspects

I was reading Archetypes Of The Zodiac by Kathleen Burt last night, and she wrote that Gemini and Cancer may be drawn to each other, because Gemini is Peter Pan -- the boy who never wants to grow up -- and Cancer is the mother. Unfortunately, Cancer is attracted to the opposite sign on the zodiac wheel -- Capricorn -- because she wants someone to bring home the bacon so that she can create a secure nest for the kids. With Gemini, she just has another mouth to feed but not someone who will be a reliable provider.

In Jungian psychology, the archetype of the Puer Aeternus refers to the immature person who does not want to cope with adult responsibilities. Gemini and its ruling planet Mercury are associated with Peter Pan and the puer archetype. Wendy, of course, is the mother of the lost boys, fulfilling the Cancer role. She cannot stay in Neverland, though, because she feels the call to grow up. (Maturity and responsibility are associated with Capricorn, and its ruling planet Saturn).

Cancer may feel "at home" caring for a Gemini, but she's not terribly happy with it. When you're a wife, you want a husband, not an adult-child. As Burt writes, "If she ends up with a Peter Pan ... she often makes the best of it and sighs a lot" (p. 123).

Burt, Kathleen. (1997) Archetypes of the Zodiac. LLewellyn Publications.

Comment Below: Have you been the Wendy to a Peter Pan?

Discuss Gemini-Cancer compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, cancer, gemini

Astrology is a system. Although some astrologers believe that they can account for the whole person by including all manner of asteroids, fixed stars and theoretical points (because the 10 planets are just not enough), I disagree. Human beings are mysterious and complex. They transcend the blueprint of the horoscope.

So when you ask if you're compatible with a Gemini -- and even if you throw in your respective Venus, Mars, Moon and Rising signs -- an astrologer can say how good of a "fit" you two will be, and what issues you may trigger in each other -- but you should not base a major life decision (such as ending a relationship) based solely on an interpretation.

Astrology is a form of divination. It is one attempt among many -- like Tarot, I Ching, Runes -- to gain wisdom into the workings of the Universe. All of these systems are ultimately based on the meaning of a moment in time. When you throw the coins, you're really asking, "What are the archetypal dynamics happening right now, as I ask this question?" When you consult astrology for dating advice, you're asking, "What archetypal dynamics were in play when this Gemini guy was born?"

Archetypal patterns have a wide range of manifestations. Astrologers have a bag full of interpretations for any planetary combination -- say, if your Venus trines his Mars -- but the interplay of these archetypes transcends human understanding. We can 'get' some of it, but not all of it.

Ultimately, the answers you get from divination are just data. They are not God's Word. They may be God's Word filtered through categories of experiences of the collective unconscious. But they are still categories ... boxes, compartments. Ways that we make sense of life. That is not to say they are not "real" in a Platonic sense -- out there in the Ideal World. But we can only see a version of the Truth through our mortal eyes.

Ultimately, you have to combine data from various sources to make an informed relationship decision. Do a Tarot reading. Get an astrological compatibility reading. Listen to your feelings and intuitions. Talk to elders. To base your decisions solely on a source outside of yourself is folly.

Labels: astrology

In the comments section of Gemini, Devil's Advocate, Jara writes, "Jeff, are you basing your opinion on the stereotype of Gemini or actual Geminis you know?"

There are two different but overlapping ways to learn astrology: studying the theory from teachers and books, and observing a correlation between human behavior and planetary placements in the natural world. Although I am not well-versed in the history of astrology, I imagine the ancients observed natural events co-occurring with astronomical phenomena. Only after many observations would they state with authority that a specific event in the sky meant such-and-such.

Observation

For people born in the 20th century who read popular astrology texts, they often don't believe in astrology until they observe Sun sign characteristics in their friends and family members. If there is any danger in this approach, it is that they associate some personality characteristics with Sun signs incorrectly, due to the fact that they have failed to recognize the complexity of the horoscope -- namely, that every native has 10 'planets' as well as an Ascendant, Midheaven, aspects, and so on.

One reliable way to filter out the garbage is through the use of one's theoretical knowledge of astrology. Astrology is ruled by Aquarius. Although this sign rules the sky, it also governs the 'laws of the Universe,' the abstract mathematical truths that are the foundation of physics and metaphysics.

Theory

What are the theoretical underpinnings of zodiac signs?

• Mode - Is the sign cardinal, fixed or mutable? Does the sign initiate, conserve or disperse energy?
• Element - Is the sign fire, earth, air or water? How does the sign process experience: through intuition, senses, thought, emotions?
• The archetype of the constellation - Why are no air signs symbolized by animals? What can we intuit about the behavior patterns of a sign by knowing that it's associated with a ram or a bull or a centaur?
• The sign's ruling planet - How can we understand the sign by looking not only at our astrological understanding of its ruling planet, but the mythology of the Greco-Roman god or goddess with which it is associated? (And beyond that, gods and goddesses from other cultures that astrologers have associated with the signs -- Nordic, Egyptian and so on.)

How I Work

Every astrologer comes to this field differently, and approaches astrology based on their unique history and astrological signature. I did not pay astrology any attention until my mid-20s, when a friend of mine convinced me to take an astrology course. The instructor did not even work with the signs of the zodiac -- rather, he focused on the angles that planets made to each other. (This approach has roots in the cosmobiology of Reinhold Ebertin.) Hence, for the first number of years of my astrological studies, I had very little use for signs of the zodiac. They only helped me determine what angles two planets were making to each other. The 'meaning' of the signs was virtually irrelevant.

It was only over time that I saw the limitations of this approach and started studying the signs of the zodiac and the houses of the horoscope. However, I still ground my understanding of astrology in the planets. After all, it is the 'planets' that move through the sky. You cannot have a Sun sign without a Sun.

Also -- perhaps because I have my Sun in Pisces and Moon in Aquarius -- I am somewhat of a loner and comfortable with the 'abstract.' I do not have a wide collection of acquaintances from which to draw zodiacal anecdotes. I do work heavily from my theoretical understanding of astrology as well as my astrological counseling work with clients.

I would not say that I draw from Sun sign stereotypes. However, I recognize my limits ... and one of strengths of this blog is the level of participation in the comments section. I appreciate that you all have shared your personal experiences in response to my blog posts, and as a result, I believe we all -- including myself -- have benefitted by developing a greater understanding of astrology.

The Sun enters the eighth sign of the zodiac today, signifying a shift into deep waters, where we turn over coral at the bottom of the sea bed for buried treasure. The wealth we accrue from our diving expeditions cannot be quantified in gold, but rather by how fearlessly we can be intimate with another person.

To commemorate this important date, several bloggers have written about Scorpio. Some are natives, and others have courageously dated people born under this Pluto-ruled sign.

The Scorpio Group Writing Project

Scorpio Dating - Jennifer (aka fullmoon)

Group Writing Project submissions by members of the Seduction Central Forum and Social Network:

• Twilight
• cxtile
  

Other Scorpio-related forum discussions and blog posts:

• Oh, for crying out loud ... What about us female Scorps? - Victoria
• Scorpios - strangely compelling - Bex
• Scorpio sexual taboos - Mikey
• Suziebling's Scorpio Rollercoaster Ride series
• Are Scorpios really better off ... solo?
• Polling all Scorpio men!
  

Scorpio groups:

• Operation Navigate Scorpio Male
  
• Scorpiolicious!
  

Labels: astrology, group writing project, scorpio

What is an opinion, but a belief buttressed by a bunch of facts? An opposing opinion on the same spectrum can be supported by a different set of facts. Whether you're discussing abortion, affirmative action or school vouchers, there's always a statistic that will back up your argument.

This, my friends, is what Gemini lives for. This mutable air sign has the flexibility to backup either side of a debate with supporting facts, poll results and demographic statistics. Gemini's planetary ruler, Mercury, has no values. This shape-shifting planet is not attached to opinions. Therefore, Gemini has the freedom to be the devil's advocate, to choose the opposing perspective and challenge you with counter-arguments to weaken your case. He does not necessarily disagree with you or think that you're wrong, but he laughs at those who are so enamored of a theory or philosophy that they refuse to acknowledge the facts that don't fit into their worldview.

Labels: astrology, gemini

Taurus takes a long time, period. This fixed earth sign prefers stability and security over anything ... except maybe chocolate cake. Taurus will want to make sure she is safe before saying "I do" to a relationship. She will never jump in -- she is not the spontaneous sort, unless she has Uranus in Scorpio opposite her Sun, or some other impulsive combination.

Earth signs in general are cautious. Their physical environment is precious to them, and it can be unsettling to share one's space with a person who doesn't value possessions and placements to the same extent. Virgo may be finicky about having the papers on her desk shuffled around, but Taurus can be just plain rigid about you messing with her stuff. The security she feels in her environment is what grounds her emotionally. Whether you cut down a tree in her backyard or move around her Hello Kitty ornaments, you best be prepared for her Bull to come out.

You see, it comes down to trust. She needs to know deep down that her material world will still be predictable once she gives you the keys to her home. And on a deeper level, that her preferences won't be challenged on a daily basis. Taurus likes what she likes, and she's not going to change for you. It's OK if you like mint chocolate chip, but don't make her give up her Cherry Garcia.

Related post: How do you get Taurus to do anything?

Comment below: How has the Bull in your life been slow to commit?

Labels: ascendant, taurus

I am a guest blogger at Ask Dan and Jennifer, a popular blog about dating, relationships and sex. This week's post is How to Win Back a Gemini. Please visit them and leave as many insightful comments on my post as you do here!

Labels: askdanandjennifer, astrology, gemini

Have you ever achieved transcendental bliss during lovemaking ... not just your everyday orgasm, but a moment when "you" cease to exist? Mars in Pisces seeks this experience. Placed in the most spiritual of signs, the planet of sexuality seeks to dissolve the barriers of self.

The Downside

Mars the lover may be passive, for it is difficult to meet the needs of one's ego in such a watery sign. He may prefer to have sex under the influence of drugs or alcohol. His sense of boundaries -- where he ends and a lover begins -- can make for divine sex, but it can also lead to confusion -- as when he forgets that there are also two (or more) discrete bodies in the room.

The Upside

As Jara mentioned in Mars in Heat, this planet's idea of foreplay would be to dance seductively, put on sensual music, share his emotions. Mars in Pisces is an intuitive lover, and his empathic sense helps him to know exactly how to please you, because he knows what it's like to be in your stilettos.

Comment below: What do you know of Mars in Pisces ... in the bedroom?

Labels: astrology, mars, pisces

Mercury apparently moves backwards in the sky three times a year, for about 22 days at a time. During these retrograde phases, miscommunication and delays are par for the course, as this planet rules the transmission of messages, as well as local travel. (I've written about Mercury retrograde -- Valentine's Day style -- at AOL Horoscopes.) This particular retrograde is more relationship-oriented than others, because Mercury is traveling through the two signs of the zodiac that have the most to do with intimate partnership: Libra and Scorpio.

The retrograde started on October 11/12 (depending on your time zone) at 9 Scorpio. It enters Libra on October 23, stations direct (meaning that it apparently stops in the sky to move forward again) on November 1 at 23 Libra, and re-enters Scorpio on November 11.

The styles of Mercury's expression in these two signs could not be more different: gracious and charming versus secretive and probing. However, both Libra and Scorpio are relationship signs: Libra concerns equality in a partnership, and Scorpio governs sexual/emotional intimacy and shared financial resources.

How will this Mercury retrograde affect you?

There is much more to predictive astrology than Sun signs, but that's all I know about you. If you know your rising sign, look to that sign instead of your Sun sign, as these "horoscopes" are based on the solar chart, in which your Sun sign IS the First House. (By 8th, I mean "8th House" and so on.)

(My apologies to the early signs. I got more outrageous as the zodiac progressed, and I'm afraid you got shafted!)

Aries - You have Scorpio on your 8th and Libra on your 7th. In the 8th, expect communication difficulties regarding joint finances and sex. In the 7th, you may misread your partner's expression of their needs in the relationship.

Taurus - You have Scorpio on your 7th and Libra on your 6th. In the 7th, intense discussions about the relationship may dredge up the past. In the 6th, you may try to be gracious with a co-worker but end up inadvertently offending them anyway.

Gemini - You have Scorpio on your 6th and Libra on your 5th. In the 6th, a coworker may bring up past wrongs which lead to a power struggle. In the 5th, your attempts to meet your kids halfway backfires.

Cancer - You have Scorpio on your 5th and Libra on your 4th. In the 5th, all of your kids' resentments come up to the surface and past grievances are expressed. In the 4th, your attempts at peacekeeping on the home front fail miserably.

Leo - You have Scorpio on your 4th and Libra on your 3rd. In the 4th, you dig up child abuse memories and let your mom have it. In the 3rd, you try to make peace with your little sister, and end up only making matters worse.

Virgo - You have Scorpio on your 3rd and Libra on your 2nd. In the 3rd, you and your brother fight over the money your aunt left in her will. In the 2nd, you try to balance your checkbook, but lose all of your Quicken data.

Libra - You have Scorpio on your 2nd and Libra on your 1st. In the 2nd, your talent for intuiting people's secrets mysteriously disappears, and you lose your job as a psychic. In the 1st, your usual charming persona is shattered, as every word that comes out your mouth ends up offending someone.

Scorpio - You have Scorpio on your 1st and Libra on your 12th. In the 1st, your attempt to appear deep and mysterious fails, as you can't even coherently express a negative sentiment. In the 12th, you wake up after a dream of having written the perfect symphony -- and you know it was brilliant! -- but after much scrambling you cannot find a pen, and by the time you do, all is forgotten.

Sagittarius - You have Scorpio on the 12th and Libra on the 11th. 12th: We all know about that secret love affair, but I'm afraid the word is out. You better start packing your bags before you spouse packs them for you. In the 11th, your every attempt to moderate a discussion at the PTA meeting backfires, and all the parents now think you're the bad guy.

Capricorn - You have Scorpio on your 11th and Libra on your 10th. In the 11th, your attempts to become the #1 Mean Girl in your high school clique backfires, thus leaving you eating lunch with the dorks. In the 10th, your kiss-ass behavior at work does not endear you to the boss. In fact, she only loses respect for you.

Aquarius - You have Scorpio on your 10th and Libra on your 9th. In the 10th, your killing spree to become CEO of your company has hit a few snags -- back to the drawing board! In the 9th, you graciously host a foreign exchange student, but end up offending him when you inadvertently insult his mother.

Pisces - You have Scorpio on your 9th and Libra on your 8th. In the 9th, your affair with your dissertation advisor is exposed, and you realize that you can't screw your way to a PhD, after all. 8th: You state you want to share money equally with your spouse, but then he finds an old credit card statement showing you bought $500 shoes. Ouch!

Labels: astrology, mercury, retrograde

The deadline for the Scorpio Group Writing Project is this Friday, and I will be publishing the list of blog posts on Tuesday, when the Sun changes signs. Don't miss your chance to dish about your Scorpio ex and have the world read about it!

Labels: group writing project

Miss Anxious Aquarius provided a birth time (click chart to view) and also asked her question in the Love Advice section of the forum. She writes,

I have been going out with my Pisces boyfriend for nearly 7 months now. Lately, I can't get him to communicate. I tried being gentle and calm and appealing to his emotions but it's not working.

After a whole night of fighting he told me that he is not getting any younger and he needs 'space' to think. He knows he wants me and he is the luckiest man to have to me but right now he is scared of commitment. He also wants to test me to see if I'm the one for him.

He's confusing me, making me feel anxious, I told him to take all the time he needs and that I'm here. What is going on? What's with the temper? What's with the space? What's with the Pisces? What's with me?

Lucia G. has already offered some insight into your Pisces boyfriend's chart and how to approach the relationship. I'm going to write a bit about "timing." On September 26, the Aries Full Moon exactly conjoined your natal Venus in Aries. Venus is the planet of love and relationship, but it is even more significant in your chart. You have Taurus on your Descendant (or Seventh House cusp), which means you seek security and stability in your relationships. Venus is the ruler of Taurus, so it signifies your partner ... and it also sits in your Fifth House of Romance. During an Aries Full Moon, the spotlight shines on one's personal needs (in opposition to the needs of a relationship). One's own impulses take precedence, and inevitably there is a conflict, because meeting these needs requires one to compromise less in one's relationship. This Full Moon may have stimulated your boyfriend's antsiness. "All of a sudden, he wants to accomplish things, constantly wanting to stay home, not talking about his feelings, his temper is short, I can't get him to communicate." Other than the staying home part, this behavior sounds pretty Aries-like.

In the forum discussion thread, you gave his birth time. As Lucia G. mentioned, he has Mars in Aries in his Seventh House. He can be very direct and assertive about meeting his needs in a relationship, and yet he's also got a lot of wishy-washy energy, with Libra Rising and Sun square Neptune. A few weeks after the Full Moon, the Libra New Moon on October 11 opposed his Mars from his First House of Individual Needs. (Mars is also the ruler of his Seventh House, with Aries on the cusp). This highlighted the tension between his need to please you versus his need to do what he wants to do. (Or maybe he feels overpowered by your direct expression of your needs, as his Mars symbolizes his partner.)

Aries is not the most commitment-friendly sign, as it does not want to be held back from acting on its desires, however they may impact others. These recent lunations have been activating the Aries love/sex planets in both of your charts.

Pluto shakes up your boyfriend's entire sense of self (Sun) over the next year, and will make a 90-degree square to his Seventh House cusp early 2009. He's going through the wringer, and much of his orientation towards home, family and relationships will be torn down in order to be rebuilt on a more authentic level. Only time will tell if your relationship survives this restructuring.

Comment below to offer Miss Aquarius feedback, or respond on her discussion thread.

Labels: aquarius, astrology, pisces

Having no impulse control, the Aries man wants to get off NOW. After all, the first sign of the zodiac symbolizes the initial "burst" of life. (It's up to Taurus to till the soil.) What, then, of his Gemini woman? The sign of the Twins is ruled by "quick on his feet" Mercury. (The messenger of the gods wouldn't keep his job long if he took his sweet time.)

Miss Gemini gets bored in the sack easily without frequently changing it up, but will be disappointed if the sex is over too quickly. So the challenge is to prolong the inevitable, at least long enough to make sure she gets her needs met, too. (Contrary to Aries' belief, other people do have needs. It's just that meeting them is not as urgent as it is for you!)

Since we all know that Gemini is a master manipulator (with her hands ... the rest belongs to Scorpio), she may want to keep her digits to herself lest she get into a sticky situation. That means either satisfying herself or convincing Aries that he'll get something out of pleasing her. Aries does rule the head, so this is where the foreplay begins. Miss Gemini can give him a scalp massage. And while his head is arm's distance from Gemini's, surely he can keep her entertained as well.

Labels: aries, astrology, gemini

Mercury in Scorpio went retrograde today, and I've noticed -- looking back at recent advice questions -- that it's really hard for people to just trust one another at face value. I'm not naive -- I know humans lie and deceive, cheat and manipulate -- but does it serve us to be so self-protective? Nobody wants to be burned, but the fear of being hurt keeps us so isolated!

The planet of communication has been in the sign of secretiveness and power plays since September 27. Mistrust is in the air, and we are all looking at each other with suspicion, wondering about ulterior motives. The danger in this approach is that we overlook the essential goodness and kindness in human beings. We are not only base creatures focused on survival, employing a kill-or-be-killed strategy in finding the perfect mate. There is love in the world.

As Mercury apparently moves backwards in the sky, we can use this opportunity to reflect on past betrayals, and see how the armor we've adorned to shield ourselves also keeps us at arm's length from others. And be sure to remember the positive aspects of Mercury in Scorpio: deep, probing conversations that facilitate a strong emotional bond; the revelation of personal information to help transform ourselves and others.

Sometimes when someone says, "I love you," it means just that.

Labels: astrology, mercury, retrograde, scorpio

I am a guest blogger at Ask Dan and Jennifer, a popular blog about dating, relationships and sex. This week's post is How to Lose a Taurus Man. Please visit them and leave as many insightful comments on my post as you do here!

Labels: askdanandjennifer

Angel_eyes provided a birth time (click chart to view) and also asked this question on the forum:

I am a newbie here on your forum, I was looking around for some love advice and stumbled on to your blog and it seems to be the most helpful one I have seen. I sure hope you can help me. I am a Scorpio female who is really interested in a Cancer male and I just can't figure him out. It has been over 6 months almost a year of this kinda 'turmoil' I have been going thru. I am sure most of it is by my own design being such an emotional creature myself. We have known each other for almost 5 years and had a short fling right away then got caught up in our lives and lost touch. Over a year ago we found each other again and boy did the sparks fly! I was in a relationship and he wasn't so we just talked for awhile and he would always ask me to come and see him while he did his local gigs at one of the clubs in town. I never got the chance to go and thought it might interfere with my current relationship, due to our somewhat overwhelming chemistry. Things stayed light for awhile and I really enjoyed the attention from him. Then one day I decided I wasn't happy and ended my current relationship, we got the chance to finally 'have a go' and see what happens, so we got together and decided to start dating 'exclusively'. Well, the break-up I had was pretty brutal and then I had some family issues, then he just started a new job that consumed 80 hrs of his work week, and all this no more then a week after we had decided we would start dating and we were again both caught up in our own lives and decided it would be better to not start this relationship. It has been hell ever since and that was a little over 6 months ago. He still gives me attention, but more randomly. Just recently his work situation has become much better and he is NOT shy by any means about what he wants to do, but I an afraid that all he wants to do is....well you get the idea. He tells me he likes me, wants to settle down into a relationship after I express my disconcern about his intentions but I am having a hard time thinking it is true. Some reasons for my hesitation on his advances, he has many admirers and kinda a flirt and this makes my uncomfortable, I will try to start a conversation with him and he is always busy but I am never busy when he wants to talk, he never picks up the phone to call me (!) and as soon as I feel like i am completely over him ready to move on and be done with the whole thing he swoops back in trying to pull me back. I don't feel 'special' enough and wonder if he only comes around when he wants the attention. I am proud to say though, I have been able to dodge his advances and we haven't slept together since we decided to start dating, but that was ages ago and I wonder if he just wants to 'conquer' me one more time. *blush* I am a single mom who just stays home and doesn't get the chance to be as outgoing as my personality would like and he is an aspiring pilot with wishes to move away to some carribean island (sooo cancer) Maybe I am scared that all this waiting for what I think will be so amazing will end up bad and so will our friendship. I guess I am just afraid to really fall in love and give in this time and end up with him flying away. Although...I would be more then happy to go along for the ride!
Not sure of what to do.

Your fear that this Cancer man just wants to conquer you sexually may be related to the transit of Pluto to your natal Mars in Sagittarius. Mars is the planet of sexuality, and yours rules your Fifth House of Sex With No Strings Attached. Pluto is the planet of power, intensifying sexual drives and the desire to dominate. Could it be that you want to get nasty, but that you aren't "owning it" because you're stuck at home with your kids?

Saturn recently entered Virgo and exactly opposed your Pisces Moon when you posted this question. In your chart, the Moon rules your Eighth House of Sex Within a Committed Relationship. Venus entered Virgo on October 8 and is now opposing your Moon. The planet of relationships will conjoin transiting Saturn on October 14. (I write more about this in my recent Libra New Moon post). As Saturn restrains pleasure-seeking Venus, you are "holding out." Transiting Venus opposite your natal Moon may illuminate the tension between your responsibilities (Saturn) as a mother and your need to feel truly cared about (Moon) versus your need to enjoy some good lovin' (Venus).

You mention in the forum discussion, "I wish one of us would just be open enough to tell the other what we 'honestly feel'.... I just think it would make things so much easier if people were just honest with themselves and others about their feelings toward others, wouldn't that solve so much?" Your emotional Pisces Moon is in your Third House of Communication. You need to talk about your feelings, yet the transit of Saturn has a restrictive influence, and in particular evokes fear. This fear that you won't be embraced by him in a committed relationship results in loneliness and isolation. What if you took the risk of being completely vulnerable with him?

Your question comes down to whether you can trust him. Does he just want a good lay, or does he want to get serious with you? All things being equal, a Cancer would be more inclined towards the latter. Your challenge right now is to balance your cautiousness (Saturn in Virgo transit) with the powerful sexual drive being propelled by Pluto.

Comment below to offer feedback to Angel_eyes, or visit her discussion thread on the forum.

Labels: astrology

The Sun provides three vital services to ensure our survival on Earth: light, warmth and gravity. Gravity we take for granted, for we are always orbiting around our star, and would only notice the lack of gravity if the Earth flew out of its orbit and collided with another celestial body. We correlate warmth with the presence of the Sun, because the star's absence coincides with a reduction in temperature. Yet, light by far is the most obvious, because there is a bright shining disc in the sky when our surroundings are illuminated (electricity notwithstanding).

You could say the same about Leo, the sign that is ruled by the Sun. There are different degrees to which a Leo man needs to be recognized. (Jara aka Blah Blah wrote a popular post here on the immature Leo man.) The least-developed Leo needs to be recognized, validated, even worshipped like a god. He is like a light bulb that depends on the "juice" of attention. When this energy source is deprived, he gets really bright, and then he blows. The wounded pride, the rageful lion ... you've probably witnessed the narcissistic rage of a Leo who demands to be the star of everyone's show. This variety is attracted to admirers and hangers-on.

The more mature Leo is confident. He does not rely on adoration to feel good about himself. His focus is more on helping other people feel special by being warm and generous of spirit. His dramatic delivery is meant to inspire you to access your creative fire, not to hog the spotlight like the immature Leo. He is playful and spontaneous, hoping to heat up the room to help everyone have a good time. This variety is attracted to people willing to receive and respond to his spirit of giving.

The highest expression of Leo is the most silent. He is the King. He knows that the world revolves around him, and he does not let it go to his head. Rather, he understands it is his divine mission to lead his people. If he does not embody the symbolic power of his role, the people in his kingdom will feel lost and adrift, for we all need to feel there is a benevolent power keeping us on the right track. This rare Leo needs a Queen.

Comment below: What kind of Leo man do you attract?

Labels: astrology, leo

Sex advice columnist Dan Savage has coined the abbreviation GGG: "good in bed, giving equal time and equal pleasure, and game for anything—within reason." The Scorpio man is drawn to taboos and the underworld of sexuality, so a few kinks are to be expected. Bondage, domination, sadomasochism ... power and pain are old friends to the Scorpion. This is not to say that all Scorpios like to dole out punishment: The sign is truly about the depths of intimacy, which means exploring every nook and cranny of your English muffin. No! I mean that he will want to connect intensely with you -- staring into each other's eyes (even during orgasm), or achieving tantric bliss through controlled sexual techniques.

If you want to satisfy him, you have to overcome your fear -- fear of closeness, fear of exploring the boundaries of pain and pleasure. By all means don't do anything that feels violating (unless, of course, you're into that sort of thing.) But be willing to turn lovemaking into an attempt to excavate your hidden turn-ons and wounds, eroticizing power dynamics and family traumas to gain a sense of mastery over them.

And if all else fails, stick your finger up his patootie.

Comment below: How do you satisfy the Scorpio in bed?

Labels: astrology, scorpio

The first Group Writing Project yielded ten submissions, and the poll results show that you want more. The next one will be all about Scorpio: Have you dated one, or are you a Scorpion yourself? Share your relationship experiences!

Here are the rules:

1. On your blog, write on one of the following topics. (If you don't have a blog, you can start one easily at the Seduction Central Forum and Social Network.)
   • Write a post about being in a relationship (past or present) with a Scorpio.
   • If you are a Scorpio, write about your own experience in relationships. What is it like being in your shoes (or undergarments)?
   • Follow Isthmus' suggestion: ".... write about [Scorpio themes like] power issues, sex, secrecy etc. .... For those people who don't mix Scorpios and relationships ...."
2. Send me an email at jeffreykishner@gmail.com with "Group Writing Project" in the subject line. In the body, include the title of the post, the permalink (or unique web address) for your post, and the name by which you write on your blog. The deadline is Friday, October 19.
3. On October 23 -- when the Sun enters Scorpio -- I will post the results, with links to all submitted entries. Entries will be listed in consecutive order based on time of submission. To be included, you must write at the beginning or end of your post that "This post is part of the Scorpio Group Writing Project at Seduction Central." (Make sure to hyperlink Seduction Central with http://jeffreykishner.com/astrology/love/)

Thanks for your participation!

Plugs:

• Scorpio-related posts on this blog
• My Scorpiolicious! blog
• The Scorpiolicious! group on the social network

Labels: group writing project

From the comments section on Does a Pisces man ever end a relationship?

Do pisceans have a tendancy to want what they cant have? then not want it when they think they can have it?

Pisces is the dreamer, and for this sign, reality is always a letdown when compared to his fantasies. The sign of the Fishes is ruled by Neptune, planet of imagination, transcendance and delusion. Neptune is The Matrix, maya, the world of illusion. In the best sense, it is communion with God, where boundaries dissolve and one feels connected with everything in the universe. But most of the time, Pisces is the anti-Neo, swallowing the blue pill to remain in his delusion. He does not want to know stark reality.

The dirty secret about Pisces: He does not really want to be embodied. Pisces want to be Spirit, yet he's stuck doing dishes and suffering through his day job. It is only when he plays his guitar or smokes a joint or falls for a pretty girl that he escapes from the Hell of the Mundane. The pretty girl is his Muse, inspiring him to write, paint, dance or daydream. Anything but to endure another hour of Here and Now. (Although the enlightened Pisces finds beauty in the present moment, for he recognizes the divine in