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What do Pisces and Libra have in common?

Scales!

Can Pisces win over a Libra? Other than scales, what else do they have in common? Venus -- the planet of love, art and relationships -- is dignified in Libra and exalted in Pisces. The goddess is happy in both signs.

The Libra Woman

A woman with her Sun in Libra is -- more than any other sign -- attracted to partnership. Not being in one may make her unhappy, because she shines brightest when she is relating to another person. She's willing to make all sorts of compromises to please her partner, and may even lapse into codependent behavior, putting his needs above her own. Many of her decisions are based on how their outcome will impact others, as she wants to maintain harmony with her loved ones. And, sometimes she goes to great lengths to avoid being seen as the "bad guy."

The Pisces Man

Sacrifice, of course, is familiar to the Pisces man. The last sign of the zodiac is ruled by Neptune, the planet that dissolves boundaries in the quest for enlightenment -- or at least a good buzz. Pisces is the sign of the monk and the alcoholic -- those lost (or developed) souls who choose retreat, or who withdraw into fantasy because they can't tolerate reality well enough to function. The Pisces man's romantic quest is to transcend separation and to love All That Is. He can reach this state through the help of meditation, drugs ... or even a good old-fashioned relationship. But for him, a loving connection is a means to an End, a way to move from self to Self.

Unfortunately, all this spiritual talk is whimsy. More often than not, the Pisces man is more martyr than mystic, a spineless schlump who suffers on the cross of victimhood, hoping to evoke guilt and pity in others for his inability to do anything more useful than dream.

Put 'Em Together

So, can these two get it on? Although they both worship at the altar of Love, they go about relating in different ways. Libra is more sociable than easily overstimulated Pisces, who prefers take-out sushi over frequent dinner parties. And Pisces may feel disappointed that Libra is more interested in putting on a Good Face than doing Good Works.

However, they do have a meeting ground. The Pisces man can win over Libra with Art. Although not mystically-inclined, she does have an eye for beauty, and can appreciate a well-designed table or a graceful ballad. One of Pisces' greatest talents is his ability to draw on his Muse to create inspired songs, poems or paintings. His compositions express what cannot be articulated by words alone, and although they draw on emotions that are not her natural language, the Libra woman will get weak at the knees knowing that his song is about her.

Comment below or discuss Libra-Pisces compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, libra, pisces

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An Aquarius wants the unfettered right to do what she pleases. Government and religious institutions only serve to squash her freedoms, and they must be overthrown! Down with the morality police!

Face it -- rules are made to be broken, and who better to flout the laws of God than an Aquarius? If she wants to lay down with her neighbor's wife, she'll do it! Independence means more than being able to move out of your parents' house and pay your rent. It's about expressing yourself in spite of society's rigid constraints.

As for the cuckold, well he ought to be liberated enough to be beyond antiquated notions of fidelity. Faithfulness is not about submitting only to your husband's sexual desires. It's about being true to your unique erotic impulses. To do otherwise is to court death, to be a caged bird yearning to explore the expanses of the heavens.

In a truly egalitarian society, we'd be able to sleep with whomever we want (consensually, of course). Is it any wonder that the dawning of the Age of Aquarius coincided with the Free Love movement? There are so many sexual opportunities in life! There's nothing wrong with shacking up with one person, but why does the "couple" label have to have so many shackles?

Comment below: Cheating Aquarius women unite!

Related post: Are Libras unfaithful?

Labels: aquarius, astrology

There's nothing worse than a bored Gemini. She's not going to stick around long if you can't keep her attention. And unlike her sister air sign Aquarius, she cannot maintain her focus on one idea for more than, say ... two seconds. (OK, I'm slightly exaggerating. Slightly.)

She knows herself well enough to ditch any guy or gal who can't follow her mile-a-minute thought process. If you're on a first date with a Gemini, you may well be under close scrutiny -- she'll be testing you to see if you're interesting enough for more than one evening.

For starters ... if you're still thinking up a witty comment regarding the topic she discussed a minute ago, you're too late. If you're not on the ball, you're better off with a methodical Taurus than a speedy Gemini.

To Gemini, intelligence can mean thinking quickly on your feet. But a person born under this Mercury-ruled sign is also drawn to facts for their own sake. Think Jeopardy! Can you compete against her in a game of Trivial Pursuit? How many Wikipedia entries have you edited this month? If your mind is not a container of meaningless trivia, you may not be the man or woman for her.

Also, do you have anything interesting to say? Although she obviously requires a good listener, the Gemini woman thrives on learning new things and keeping up on the juiciest news. She'll value you for the latest gossip or a story that keeps her enthralled. If you can't cough up the goods, better to spend your time with a Capricorn.

The more sensual Gemini will inspect your hands, play with your fingers, trace the lines on your palm. God knows what she's looking for, but she's knows it when she sees it.

Comment below: Have you passed the test?

Labels: astrology, gemini

Our first Group Writing Project had ten participants. I'm thinking we can do one monthly about one zodiac sign, the list of blog posts being published on the day the Sun enters that sign. For example, if you're a Scorpio you can write about your relationship patterns, or if you've dated a Scorpio, you can blog about what it's like to have been with one.

Please answer the poll in the sidebar (RSS or email subscribers can access the poll here).

Our own Mirror of Aphrodite has written a comprehensive essay on the Capricorn Male. Here's a short snippet:

In his youth, Cap male is attracted to older girls who may take note of his mature, adult nature. He is comfortable and confident in his ability to achieve lifelong ambitions. He is drawn towards shy women, if not outright wallflower types while avoiding domineering ones at all costs. He feels they'll protect, devote and serve him. But there's a flip side to this. He's either after total innocence and inexperience or women who make no bones about having been around the block a few times and then discarded.

Wait ... does the Aries man even get obsessed? He may have the ability to tune out all other stimuli to accomplish his goal, but that's not obsession -- it's single-mindedness. If he really wants you, he'll garner all his resources to capture you, but once he loses interest, you've lost.

The best way to extend his attention span is to fuel his competitive drive. Although I am not a fan of "games," you may want to flirt with someone else at a party he's at, if you already know he's interested in you. Seeing you with another man will spark his instinctual urge to be Alpha Male, and he'll want to beat out the other guy for your attentions.

In other words, play hard to get.

The venerable Bruce Springsteen (a Libra) once wrote that you can't start a fire without a spark. I can't help you there (although a tight red dress will turn him on!). You need to be distant enough to be a challenge, but not so unattainable that he's easily distracted by the next pretty young thing that comes his way. The art of attraction is a Libran balancing act, and a tip of the scales in the wrong direction will send the whole contraption toppling to the floor.

Comment below: How have you kept an Aries man's attention?

Labels: aries, astrology

Stacie provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

My question is really quite simple, I would like some helpful hints on how to get out there (into the dating scene). I think the main problem is I am so secretive about my personal life, I almost feel angry when someone continues to pursue a question even further. I like to keep to myself and sharing with someone else absolutely terrifies me. They don't need to know what happened in the past, all they need to know is that I like to eat take out chinese and watch a movie. I'm so afraid to have someone really get to know me ... they may not like what they see. I can be kind of intense and too serious for people.

You sound like a classic Scorpio to the n^th degree. However, there are other chart factors contributing to your fear:

• Venus conjunct Pluto: You're terrified of intimacy, all too aware of the potential for abuse and manipulation in relationships. I'd venture to guess that you've been traumatized, and that you don't feel safe exposing your secrets to a near-stranger. There's no way to honestly talk about your past without acknowledging your hurt, so you'd rather avoid discussing it all together.
• Virgo Rising: This sign on your Ascendant contributes to an impossible-to-reach perfectionism that leads to self-criticism. If you feel you're not good enough, you conclude that no one else will value you, either. (Your Sun sign Scorpio has also been known to be self-loathing!)
• Saturn in Leo: Not feeling special, fear of being seen. (The emperor has no clothes?) All the more harmful since it's in your 12th House of Self-Undoing.

The most elevated planet in your chart is your Moon in Gemini. You feel comfortable being superficial (take-out and a movie), yet how long can you stay on the surface in the dating world? You just completed your Saturn Return, when transiting Saturn returns to its original position when you were born. Your natal Saturn rules your Fifth House of Romance, so it makes sense that you're taking this area of your life seriously. In other words, you're nearly 30 and single, and you're not getting any younger. You want a relationship, yet your terror of being seen as worthless or bad is sabotaging your dating success.

After a Saturn Return, single people are most likely looking to settle down and start a family, not just casually date -- for Saturn is the planet of mortality and responsibility. If you're too guarded, a date won't know if he wants to get to know you further. He'll wonder what you're hiding, or assume that you're shutting him out because you don't like him.

Your "dating planets" are in outgoing signs (Venus in Libra, Mars in Leo), so you probably have the flirtatious/seductive thing down (especially with Venus conjunct Pluto!). I don't think you need to know so much "how to get out there," as "how to get over your self-hatred and fear of being destroyed." That, my dear, requires a psychotherapist, not a dating coach.

Labels: astrology, scorpio

Do you look to your partner to mother you? Does your love life fluctuate as often as the ebb and flow of the tides? Have you chosen ice cream over marriage? If any of these symptoms apply to you, you're a candidate for Moon in the Seventh House disorder. Consult a professional immediately!

The horoscope is broken up into twelve sections called houses, each of which symbolizes a different area of life. The Seventh House is the portion of the sky just above the western horizon at the moment of your birth. Any planets that were setting when you popped out of your mother are in this house. It is the area of your chart that concerns significant partnerships, whether marital or business.

The Moon symbolizes mother, child, wife, home, food ... the whole family matrix. It is also the planet of emotions, the past, and instinctual habits. The Moon relates to how we nurture ourselves and others, as well as what gives us a sense of belonging.

If you're born with the Moon in your Seventh House, you will try to get your lunar needs met within a partnership. There can be a lot of caretaking in a marriage or with clients or a business partner. You may seek a maternal partner or take on that role yourself. Codependency is possible, as you may put the other's needs above your own. (Your Moon sign will dictate how you nurture.)

The Moon moves through a whole cycle in about 28 days, so fluctuation will occur in whatever House the Moon inhabits. You can expect some inconsistency in your partnerships -- not the sudden changes brought on by Uranus in the Seventh, but more like subtle shifts, changes in mood.

And since the Moon rules food and other ways that we 'feed' ourselves, you may choose to marry your refrigerator ... because lemon meringue pie doesn't ask where you were last night.

Some useful interpretations from elsewhere:

You are very open and responsive to the needs of others, and you have to take in their feelings whether you want to or not. You choose partners that are sensitive and emotional types, but they'll tend to be unstable if your moon is weakened by sign or aspect. Your feelings go through a lot of changes in regard to your partners, yet they mean a lot to you. They're a primary source of strength, and you look to them for support and encouragement. In fact, you may feel that its difficult for you to get in touch with your own feelings other than within the context of a relationship. (MyAstrologyBook)

Moon in the Seventh House can give a moody partner. Conversely, your attitude towards the partner and partnerships in general constantly changes and goes through cycles. The partner will either tend to be good at domestic tasks and will "mother" you (this goes for both men and women) or will shift the domestic burdens to you and demand that you mother them. You yourself may become moodier after marriage (don’t we all! But not as much as this) or, more positively, more expressive emotionally. (BobMarksAstrologer)

Comment below: If you have Moon in the Seventh, how do you see it manifest?

Related Posts:

• Uranus in the Seventh House
• The Moon-Venus Conflict
• What does it mean to have a Seventh House Sun?
  

Labels: astrology, moon, seventh house

You know how excessive criticism from a partner makes you doubt that he loves you? Well, the opposite can run true if you're with a Virgo. If he stops picking you apart, he doesn't care enough to make you his improvement project. A Virgo dissects things in a quest to make them function more efficiently, and if he isn't bothering to make you the best-running model he can ... well, prepare for your pink slip.

On the other side of the spectrum, he may nitpick such minor details -- that he had glossed over before because he was willing to live with a few of your flaws -- that you feel every ounce of your being is under the microscope. It's one thing to be told that a hair is out of place ... it's another to hear that the mole on your chin should be removed. When Virgo harps on aspects of yourself that cannot be changed without the help of surgery or a Scientology audit, you know he's lost all affection for you.

Labels: astrology, virgo

Widgets slow down page loading time, and can clutter up a blog ... but what can I say? I'm a widget junkie!

However, I'm sure there are thingamabobs on my sidebars that are not necessary for a good user experience. So ... would you please complete this poll and let me know what you truly value on the sidebars?

Ten readers submitted their blog posts for the Group Writing Project ("write a post about astrology and sex, love, romance or relationships"). Please check them out, and thanks to the bloggers below for participating!

• Experiences With a Taurian Male -- Mirror of Aphrodite
• Venus square Saturn: what it's like. -- Jennifer (aka fullmoon)
• Cold as Fire: The Leo Mother-in-Law -- Sagilarious
• On a Gemini and Venus Retrograde -- Allegra De Rossi
• To a Libra and His Friendship -- Ben
• A Relapse of Disastrous Proportions -- Violetrix
• Astrological Sun Sign Dating Guide -- JackieC (also posted on her Seduction Central blog)
  
• The yummyness of a Virgo in heat!!! -- SuchAVirgo
• Taureans and their mother -- Scorpioce
• Dating a Virgo Sun/Pisces Moon guy -- Suzanne Arthur
  

L1onHeart provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

Most of people think that Leo is extrovert and very easy to attract people especially women. It seems that i am very different. I am very reserved and shy especially with women and it is not easy for me to approach them. It makes me wonder what sign is more compatible with me? Recently I am attracted to Virgo woman but I have no idea how to approach her? Any advice?

Although you are a Leo, your love planets are in yin (or feminine) signs. By feminine I don't mean relating to women -- rather, that your Venus and Mars are in Water and Earth signs, which have a negative polarity. Air and Fire signs (yang, masculine, positive polarity) are typically extroverted, while Earth and Water signs are introverted.

You have Cancer Rising and Mars in Cancer in your First House, which relates to how you interact with your environment. Cancer is emotionally sensitive and tends to retreat when feeling threatened. (This self-protectiveness can sometimes manifest as defensiveness.) Mars, the action planet, is in its "fall" in Cancer -- it's difficult to be assertive (or aggressive) in a watery sign, no less one that is more into caretaking than meeting one's own selfish desires. In other words, Mars in Cancer can be passive. The Crab moves sideways, and some women like a man who is direct.

It's no surprise that you're attracted to a Virgo woman. Your Venus is in Virgo -- in a man's chart, Venus symbolizes the type of young woman to whom he is attracted. Your seduction planet is in a sign known for self-criticism and modesty. You may be excessively hard on yourself, and you probably don't want to come across as a boar. If you're going to flirt, you want to do it the proper way -- and so much analysis and perfectionism often results in a lack of action.

Probably your greatest asset is your imagination. Your Sun trines Neptune, planet of fantasy and idealism. You have an inspiring, poetic sensibility which surely can draw women's attention, especially expressed through creative and dramatic Leo.

But you want to know how to attract women. Virgo likes to be of service, and Cancer wants to nurture. See if the lady you like needs help in some way, or offer to cook her dinner. Look up "Venus in Virgo" and "Mars in Cancer" in Venus in Love, Mars in Heat for more tips.

Comment below: How do you think L1onHeart can make the most of his chart to approach women?

Labels: astrology, leo

Do you have a thing for freaks and geeks, aliens and astrophysicists, radicals and rabble-rousers? These surefire quotes and suggestions will be guaranteed to get you in bed with an Aquarius.

1. "Love-making will enhance bonhomie among the revolutionaries."
2. "Help me act out this scene in my latest Star Trek fan fiction story."
3. Show him your pierced lips. No, those lips.
   
4. "Friends With Benefits are just friends, nothing more!"
5. Tell him you need someone impartial and objective to help you reach orgasm. Show him the step-by-step diagrams in your Clinical Sexology textbook.
6. Share your fetish for doing it in pubic places while dressed like a panda bear.
7. Face it -- he's more likely to do it in Second Life.
   

Labels: aquarius, astrology

A few months ago, Z'Ka at WJFF Radio Catskill 90.5fm interviewed me on astrology for their "Making Waves" program. Last night, it was aired, and now the interview is in their archives. You can download the mp3 it from my website (13.6 MB). There are a few interviews before mine; fast-forward in your mp3 player 19 minutes to listen to her interview with me.

This is my first ever radio interview, so any honest feedback about my "delivery" would be appreciated :)

It's a bitch trying to hitch a wild horse, so it's reasonable to assume that one must appeal to the upper half of the centaur if you want to marry him. The higher mind of a Sag studies the religious or philosophical foundations of marriage. The animal self wants to just gallop off to distant lands and impregnate many mares.

Therefore, a Sagittarian's faith, his religious commitment, would be a primary motivation to tie the knot. If God says a man and a woman shall unite and make babies, then Sag will be the first one to jump onto the bandwagon. He's not a conformist, but he'll do what everyone else is doing if there's an inspiring reason to do so.

Not all Sagittarians are God-fearing folk, though. This sign relates to both the legal system and foreign lands, so obtaining a green card would also make him want to exchange rings. If he's truly in love but bristles at the idea of being constrained by a piece of paper, he'll do it anyway to keep his beloved in his country. Or if he's not really in love but his student Visa ran out, he'll exchange vows just so he can stay overseas.

Comment below: Are there any other reasons for a Sagittarius to get married?

Labels: astrology, marriage, sagittarius

This couple is like an old lady and a little kid. One feels like she's been through it all, and the other can't get enough! Slow and fast, grounded and scattered ... what can possibly keep these two together?

Yes, we are more than our Sun signs, and any number of planetary combinations can compensate for this mix-up. But it's hard not to rubberneck when passing a collision between a Capricorn and a Gemini.

These two signs are quincunx each other -- an off-center 150-degree angle that makes it hard for both signs to see eye-to-eye. Cap is a cardinal (initiating) Earth sign, Gemini is a mutable (dispersing) Air sign. They're incompatible by both element and mode.

However a Cap and Gemini get together, it's easy to see why they may not last as a couple. Capricorn has a clear goal in sight, and is focused and dedicated in her path towards attaining it. Gemini is an ADD kid in a candy shop, so excited by all the different flavors that he can't stay in one place for more than a moment.

Both signs have their strengths, but by the end of a relationship, they'll only see each other's faults. Gemini will resent Capricorn for her inhibitions and rigidity, while Cap will look down on Gemini's lack of focus and inability to commit.

After the ambulance has departed, Gemini will dish to his buddies how long it took for Cap to warm up in bed, while Capricorn will share with her closest confidante that she felt more like a parent than a partner.

Comment below: Share your Gemini-Capricorn experiences, or discuss Gemini-Capricorn compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, breakups, capricorn, gemini

Exes often have a place in our hearts. We may love them forever, but know that there's no chance in hell a reunion would work. Or we may pine for them until eternity, wishing we had done things differently, or that we hadn't met them when we were so young.

And those are the good ones! The rest, we just file under "Well, that was a waste of my time!"

The zodiacal diversity (or perversity) in our approaches towards attachment and separation suggests that not everyone will process endings in the same way. Case in point, Scorpio. This sign can go to two different extremes: never letting go, or burning an ex's memory to the ground. All fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius), in fact, are resistant to change, but Scorpio -- being an intensely emotional water sign -- conjures up the image of prying a beloved object from one's cold, dead hands. The Scorpion loves so deeply that it's hard to excise an ex from its heart.

But that's exactly what's needed. Scorpio is ruled by Pluto, planet of resurrection and regeneration. The phoenix rising from the ashes is one of Scorpio's iconic images, for to be reborn, one must die. In the context of letting go and moving on, this sign relishes ex-arson like no other. (No, I don't mean setting one's old lover on fire!) The incineration of the attachment of Scorpio to their ex must be complete. This process requires that all vestiges of the ex -- photos, memorabilia, neural impressions -- be excavated and then thrown on a bonfire fueled by Scorpio's obsessive insistence on removing all traces of evidence at the scene of the crime.

Related posts:

• How to know when a Scorpio doesn't love you
• How Scorpios get over breakups

Labels: astrology, breakups, scorpio

If you're a Scorpio, or if you find this sign irresistible, you'll want to check out Scorpiolicious. It features a weekly horoscope for Scorpios, as well as my astrological take on Scorpio celeb gossip. So far I've written about Demi Moore, Winona Ryder, Jodie Foster and Owen Wilson.

Be sure to subscribe my new blog's feed, or subscribe via email.

SuchAVirgo wrote in her blog that she has an amazing astrological assortment of man candy, and JackieC responded that she likes hers "with soft centres."

Which got me thinking ... if love is a box of chocolates (with 12 varieties, of course!), what would the filling be for each of the zodiac signs?

What is your favorite Man Candy, and what's at his center?

Are there astrological correlates for coconut, toffee, caramel, pistachio nougat, cherries, vanilla butter cream, mints, truffles, fudge, sauces, nuts, peanut butter, dark chocolate and raspberry ganache?

Comment below ... and to be an equal opportunity sexist, you can write about Woman Candy too!

(All this talk about nuts, cream and cherries ... is it getting hot in here?)

We've just had a New Moon Solar Eclipse in Virgo. New Moons are opportunities to start something new, and what better way to honor this New Moon than by participating in the Group Writing Project!

The New Moon is opposed by Uranus, the ruler of astrology, and both are squared by Mars in Gemini, the sign of writing and communication. See? It's in the stars!

Eight bloggers have submitted their entries so far. Remember, the deadline is September 18.

I have decided to stop adding reader charts to my photobucket account, because it does not appear that anybody is taking advantage of the purpose of the gallery -- which is to share your chart with other readers in the comments section instead of listing your planetary placements.

For those readers wanting a free copy of their birth chart, visit astro.com.

You've already established that adhering to gender role assignments in dating rituals is the way you want to go, so you've given up your power and are waiting for the Crab to pick up the phone. But he's shy! You could be waiting, like, forever!

So what are you going to do? Use your feminine wiles to "manipulate" him into making the first move? What a great idea!

If you're lucky, the Crab of your dreams has Venus in Gemini -- how could there be a better planetary placement for seduction via the telephone? All you've got to do is give him your number and say, "Call me" with a sexy wink to inspire him to ring you the next day.

Otherwise, he may need some goading to get out from behind his shell. Fortunately, Cancer is a cardinal sign. It initiates. There are four cardinal signs: Aries pioneers, Libra mediates, Capricorn climbs ... and Cancer wants you to meet his mother. So to get him motivated to act, it has to be in service to the Moon, his ruling planet. If you're a single mom, tell him you'd love him to meet your kids. If he discussed how close he is with his sister, share that a party of three at brunch would be a great idea. Then tell him to call to set up a time. I know these are not the most erotic come-ons, but the fastest way to a Cancer man's heart is through his family.

Unless you can cook.

Labels: astrology, cancer

Happy Eclipse, everyone! Today I'm pleased to announce that 'Seduction Central' has had a growth spurt!

• Over 400 subscribers via feed or email
• Over 2000 page views per day
• Over 118 members at the forum and social network
  

Special thanks go to everyone who's linked to the blog and/or told their friends to visit. If you want suggestions on how to spread the word, visit or join the Seduction Central Street Team. Another way to help build the community is by participating in the first Group Writing Project -- by writing on your own blog about astrology and relationships.

And if you have any suggestions on how to foment exponential growth at 'Seduction Central,' please leave a comment below.

Torrain included a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

I have had a on again off again relationship with a pisces male for 2 years. Recently I accused him of cheating after I went through his cell and discovered some text messages. Needless to say I put him out.

He has answered the phone when I called and he has responded to my text messages. When I send him messages such as I miss you and I want to see u he does not respond. I want him back what can I do. I am Miserable.... Please Help :(

Why did you go through his cell? Oh, I know why! You have Venus in Scorpio and Pluto conjunct your Ascendant! Your paranoid, probing nature seems to have gotten you in trouble. You don't say if your Pisces ex admitted to infidelity. It's certainly possible -- his Mars in Pisces, which can have sexual boundary problems, has been stimulated the last few years by both Uranus and a number of eclipses. Uranus excites him to act on his impulses, and to Pisces, there are many fish in the sea.

Regardless of whether you found him out or just alienated him by invading his privacy, it sounds like he is being civil but has written you off. I hear you're aching over this loss, but what do you expect? If he really did cheat on you, then why do you want him back? And if he didn't, his refusal to respond to your affectionate texts ought to teach ya to stop poking around. Pluto/Scorpio heavy people have a tendency to leave no stone unturned, often because they lack trust (often due to past betrayals) and expect to be burned. But don't you see how it can feel invasive if you're on the other end?

If you're feeling suspicious in the future, just be upfront about it! Don't go looking for clues.

Comment below to provide Torrain feedback, or discuss Sagittarius-Pisces compatibility in the forum.

Labels: astrology, breakups, pisces, sagittarius

This post was written by Jara aka BlahBlah, who writes for 'Seduction Central' on Saturdays. (Thanks, Jeff!)

Disclaimer: This blog entry is for humorous and educational purposes only. Adhere to the following advice at your own risk.

Ah, air signs. So breezy. So much fun. So deceptively low maintenance. Who would want to break up with one? If the answer to that question is you, then you're in luck. Here's an easy-breezy guide to how to get out of your relationship with a gregarious Gemini, likeable Libra or abstract Aquarius.

The Breakup Strategy

Geminis are probably the most difficult of the three air signs to break up with because you are in a relationship with (at least) two people who happen to have the same face. Yes, the Twins are a handful. You probably fell in love with the charming twin. The Charmer is the smooth talker that always manages to say the right thing at the right time. You've tried to break up with Gemini before, but The Charmer kept you coming back for more. The other twin makes you remember why you wanted to end the relationship in the first place. Let's call this one The Actor. The Actor will try on different moods to provoke a certain response out of his audience (in this case, you). Why? Purely for entertainment purposes. The difficulty in breaking up with Gemini comes in if you're not prepared to handle both of the Twins at the same time (either one can appear and disappear at will). Don't try to break up with The Charmer by having a two-way conversation. This twin will just talk you out of your decision. Send a quick "we're over" text message or email. The Charmer will appreciate the brevity and try to contact you. Don't pick up the phone, answer the door or respond to any written communications. After two weeks, The Charmer will have moved on to someone or something else. Leaving The Actor is harder because this twin has a seemingly endless amount of scripts to choose from. This one will enjoy the drama of the breakup and milk it for all it's worth. When you're emotional, he acts like he couldn't care less. When you're distant, he's passionate. And so on...The Actor has more stamina than The Charmer. Expect to hear back from him for a long time after the official breakup.

Breaking up with Libra is relatively easy. Make the breakup as pleasant as possible. This sign does not handle anger well at all, and can be very unpredictable when agitated. For example, Libra could snap and start smashing plates, only to act as if nothing out of the ordinary happened 10 seconds later. In other words, don't get Libra upset. The best way to keep Libra in a pleasant mood is to create a beautiful atmosphere for the breakup. Take Libra to his or her favorite restaurant (public places are great for keeping Libra's anger in check because they don't like making scenes). Keep the enjoyable conversation flowing (helps set up the sneak attack later). Casually mention your solo future plans. Libra will notice the lack of "we" in your plans and ask you about it. Use this as your opener to discuss why you think it's best for both of you to explore other opportunities for happiness (don't worry, Libra understands euphemisms). Resist suggestions to go to couples counseling. Don't answer the "What can I do to make things better?" question Libra is surely to ask. Whatever you do, don't blame Libra. This will make Libra defensive and start a passive-aggressive, never-ending (although reasonable) debate that you have no chance in hell of winning (unless you're a Gemini). Remember to tell Libra that you have no hard feelings and would like to remain friends (regardless of whether this is true or not). If you don't care to take this long route down Breakup Blvd., then simply forget your manners at all times and/or introduce Libra to her dream date. She'll thank you in the future by sending you an invitation to their wedding.

There are two types of Aquarians. The optimal breakup strategy differs according to which Aquarian you're trying to dump. There's the Aquarian ruled by Saturn (keywords: structure, convention) that is now used to being in a relationship and will resist change. Then there's the more widely known version of Aquarius ruled by Uranus (keywords: free-thinking, unconventional) that already has one foot out the door. Obviously, the latter doesn't require much convincing to accept his walking papers. Tell him it's been fun, but you've outgrown the relationship. However, the Saturn-ruled Aquarius...now that's another story. She will hate that she's emotionally dependent on you, but will still try to hold onto the relationship. Be prepared to watch the inner battle Aquarius wages with himself over this contradiction. Contrary to popular belief, Aquarians don't dislike being in relationships. They dislike being in confining relationships. Paradoxically, if you allowed them their freedom to come and go as they please, they will not give up the relationship without a fight. After all, Aquarius is a fixed sign and can be very stubborn. The easiest way to get an Aquarius to let go is to start restricting freedoms (think prison guard), become a professional nagger (think PMS-ing Mommy), and take every opportunity to treat others as if they're beneath you (think royalty). Remember to maintain a holier than thou attitude while fighting to keep the status quo of inequality for all, and you won't have to worry about spending your Saturdays participating in another peace protest or recycle program against your will ever again.

The Ex-Files

Geminis can be the exes from heaven or hell. It really depends on what you liked most about them. If you enjoyed their stimulating company and all the funny jokes they cracked, you'll have a friend for life. If you expected to have a white, picket-fence house, 2.5 kids, and a dog named Skippy with your Gemini, then the relationship probably left a bitter aftertaste in both of your mouths. Regardless of whether things ended on good or bad terms, prepare to be bad-mouthed whenever someone asks Gemini why things didn't work out between you two. File for full custody of the children.

You're probably still a bit in love with your Libra ex. That's OK. It happens to the best of us. Why does this happen? Well, Libra probably spent most of the time being (or trying to be) your ideal mate, so it's hard to let go of that fantasy. And it doesn't help matters that she still flirts with you as if it's your first date. Libra will probably work out a fair custody agreement re: the children. Don't expect to be the favorite parent.

If you're a fire or air sign, you're still good friends with your Aquarius ex - meaning you speak to him every several months or so to play catch up. If you're a water or earth sign, you're wondering why you feel as if you were temporarily abducted by aliens. Aquarius will want to be on good terms with you, but you won't understand why.

How did your relationship with a Gemini, Libra or Aquarius end? Did the end of your relationship with an air sign leave you windswept or walking on clouds?

Labels: aquarius, astrology, breakups, gemini, libra

If your Virgo drags you to a book-signing and you flirt with the author, what reaction will you elicit in your boyfriend?

Fellow Earth sign Taurus is possessive because he thinks he owns you. Scorpio acts this way because he doesn't trust you. But Virgo? He's more likely to feel self-critical. "What's wrong with me? Maybe I'm not nerd-chic enough for her, so she makes eyes at the published author. And how come I haven't gotten it together to write a book yet? Maybe I need to work on myself more."

In general, mutable signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces) are so flexible that they neither cling to objects nor people. Gemini needs the variety, Sag loves their freedom, and Pisces loves the whole world! But Virgo's a strange combination: an Earth sign that craves order, but ruled by Mercury. This mental planet lends Virgo an analytic perspective focused on pragmatic (Earth) matters.

If seeing a girlfriend flirt is like seeing someone move his stapler from its ordained position on his desk, anxiety -- not possessiveness -- arises. Not all is right in the world, so he wonders how he can improve the relationship so that she doesn't get chat-happy with another man.

And if he starts picking you apart, it's just him projecting his self-criticism onto you. Sure, he's angry ... but he won't admit it. When he says, "Gosh, you made a fool of yourself talking to someone way out of your league, especially when you confused Derrida with Foucault ..." he'll justify his lashing with the excuse that he's just trying to help you better yourself. See, there's a difference between not wanting to share ... and hating yourself.

Labels: astrology, virgo