Dave [yes, finally a guy!] provided his birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

I'm in love with a woman that is an Aquarius, moon in aquarius, mars in aries, venus in aquarius, Aquarius rising and Mercury in Capricorn. When we first met I was cold and distant and she seemed to like it. About 3 months ago I started acting more romantic and it seems like she is put off by it. She has alot of stress in her life right now but she keeps pushing me away in a sense especially the nicer I am to her. Should I just go back to being cool, cold and distant with her?

As long as you stayed with the expression of your Gemini Sun and Aquarius Moon, your Aquarius woman was at ease, for there is little emotional depth to these air signs. However, the warmth of your Mars and Ascendant in Leo, as well as the sentimentality of your Venus in Cancer, apparently scares her away. She is a super-Aquarius, with an independent Mars and a pragmatic Mercury. With no personal planets in water, emotions are unfamiliar territory to her. She may not know how to navigate that realm.

I would hate to advocate for being cool, cold and distant. With Aquarius Rising, she has Leo on her Descendant, and would be attracted to your fire to balance her more detached nature. Her Venus opposite your Mars (by sign) could make for passionate lovemaking, once her need for independence weakens in the face of your dramatic expressions of desire.

Moreso, what kind of relationship can fluorish in such an icy climate? You love her, and it must be unbearable to suppress your romantic nature just to keep her from pushing you away. You want her closer than she is when you are cold and distant, yet by expressing your desire, she withdraws. Can you be happy holding yourself back so that she stays, when your longing for emotional intimacy remains unsatisfied?

I feel for you, and unfortunately I do not know how you can overcome this dilemma. Perhaps one of my readers can offer a suggestion in the comments section.

Related posts:
Why is Leo attracted to Aquarius?
Aquarius (wo)man acting very distant

Labels: aquarius, astrology, gemini

A few 'Seduction Central' readers have volunteered their birth information, and I have posted their natal charts on photobucket. That way, if they ask a question in the comments section, you can look at their charts in the gallery, and they don't have to list every single planetary placement and aspect in their chart!

Of course, if you don't know how to read a chart, start studying. It only takes several years, but it's well worth the effort.

Gigi provide a birth time (click chart to view) and asks,

I just broke up with my boyfriend whom i love very much.Will we get back together? he is a scorpio

You wrote me on Memorial day, when transiting Mercury conjoined your natal Jupiter at 29 Gemini. Jupiter signifies your boyfriend, as it is the ruler of your Sagittarius Descendant, or Seventh House cusp. Transiting Pluto has been opposing your natal Jupiter, although it has not yet made an exact aspect. In essence, you broke up during a Mercury-Pluto opposition, when power struggles (Pluto) in communication (Mercury) are at their peak (opposition). Secrets (Pluto) may have been discussed, trust may have been betrayed.

Transiting Mercury has since moved into sensitive Cancer and away from Pluto's powerful grip. It will be in this sign for a longer time than usual, as Mercury will be going retrograde later this month. Sentiment is more easily expressed at this time. In fact, the communication planet will stop in its tracks on June 15, opposing your relationship planet Venus in your Eighth House of Sexual and Emotional Intimacy. And on June 14, the New Moon at 23 Gemini opposes your Mercury in your Seventh House of Partnership. With so many communication (Mercury) themes stimulated these two days, it would be a good time for you to approach your Scorpio man.

Another general theme in the works is the transiting Uranus-Jupiter square stimulating your Descendant, Moon and Neptune in Sagittarius. You want freedom right now, and your Scorpio man may not necessarily support that. Be sure you know what you want before you ask him to come back.

Jeffrey offers private consultations.

Labels: astrology, scorpio

In the comments section of How we turn people off with our planets, Julie wrote this insightful response about living with challenging Pluto aspects:

For me, the control issue has been a major thing, along with the lack of trust (and I suppose they're probably related). The interesting thing to me has been that, as far as healing these issues is concerned, it's been recognizing my real lack of control that has freed me. Giving up the idea that I can control everything has made life simpler and happier. And I'm more trusting, too, because I've learned that I can survive being hurt.

People with challenging Pluto aspects often have been wounded. Dominated, violated, controlled, manipulated, broken down. It's all a matter of degrees how bad it was, and sometimes it's easier to deal with the more overt types of abuse because at least you can identify exactly what happened. The covert type of abuse that you can't quite place -- that can't be proven -- is often more difficult to heal.

Regardless, in order to survive, we build up defenses. To avoid feeling completely powerless, we develop routines, habits, m.o.'s. Control is an illusion, but how terrifying life can be -- especially as a child or young adult -- to feel that you cannot protect yourself, that you are vulnerable! The world can be a dangerous place, and a "kill or be killed" approach sometimes feels like the only way to survive.

But control does not work in relationships. You can only get so close, and then terror kicks in. A constant suspicion of people's motives prevents your heart from flowering. You play various "games" to be one up. And all you accomplish are power struggles and strife.

Learning that you can survive being hurt -- this is key. I believe that there is something deep inside of you that cannot be harmed, and that you have a natural tendency to heal. A psychotherapeutic relationship, for example, can facilitate this. A "corrective emotional experience" occurs when your habitual patterns rear their ugly head in an intimate relationship, and the therapist responds differently than how you expect. You cannot lure the therapist into your game, and you learn that relationships do not always have to repeat the same destructive pattern, over and over again. You also get in touch with your inner strength, dis-identifying with your woundedness.

It is your vulnerability that makes you beautiful. It is your open-heartedness that attracts love. Only by risking authenticity can you take the air out of someone else's tires, preventing them from driving their PlutoMobile over your soul.

Labels: astrology, pluto

There are a few ways to reach the 'Seduction Central' community. (Please email me for traffic statistics.)

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I reserve the right to reject ads or purchased reviews if they are not appropriate for this blog.

Most relationship don't work out, and as much as we'd like to blame the other person, we can only change ourselves. The planets in our charts symbolize the variety of urges we have as human beings: to nurture, create, assert, defend, escape, and so on. Although the expression of any planet can be beneficial, our planets can also be alienating to other people.

Only the challenges of Jupiter through Pluto are listed below, because it is often the hard angles they make to the personal planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars) that bring out their dark sides.

Jupiter

As the big planet, Jupiter has a tendency to exaggerate. With challenging aspects, Jupiter can lead to arrogance, evangelism, going beyond what is necessary, overlooking the details, neglecting the fine print in favor of the big picture. Nobody wants to be lectured or proselytized to. And coming off as too big for one's britches is a turn-off.

Saturn

Fear, a sense of inferiority ... we all have our deficiencies, and that's OK. What counts is how we work with them. All too often, Saturn encourages us to build walls of defensiveness to cover over our feelings of not being enough. We become rigid, inflexible. Or we overcompensate to fix our flaws, only to become a workaholic. Discipline is a virtue, but when you deny your vulnerability, it's hard for people to feel close to you.

Uranus

The world need revolutionaries. Otherwise, life would be stagnant and most people would be living under the dominion of monarchs. But sometimes you rebel just so you can differentiate yourself, taking up a cause and provoking people so much that you end up alienating them. It doesn't matter if you're pro-life or an animal rights activitst, there's a way to fight the power without frightening off your friends.

Neptune

Great art and music is often pulled out of thin air, inspired by the muses and the gods. However, Neptune's propensity for escapism can lead you to lose yourself in drink or virtual worlds, neglecting your daily responsibilities. You may not be hitting rock-bottom with your addiction to crack or massively multiplayer online games, but your unavailability makes intimacy an uphill battle.

Pluto

The lord of the underworld can be an agent of transformation, bringing psychological and physical toxins to the surface to enable healing and regeneration. However, Pluto can also be violating and controlling, digging into other people's dirt and manipulating others for his own gain. Although insight into the human psyche and the ability to root out secrets can be used for good, these same talents used inappropriately can betray trust and make people feel like they've been metaphorically raped.

Comment below: What challenging aspects in your own chart sabotage your relationship success?

Labels: astrology, jupiter, neptune, pluto, saturn, uranus

I've noticed that frequent commenters have been analyzing each others' natal charts in the comments section, and I wonder if it would be a useful resource to have a photo gallery (possibly on flickr or photobucket) that includes the natal charts of users who elect to share their birth data. I would title your chart image whatever your 'handle' is on this blog.

If you want to participate, please enter your exact date and time of birth, along with city/state/country, below. If you enter your comment as anonymous or ask any questions about your chart, I will not publish your comment. This section is only for sharing your birth info so I can publish your chart for the reference of 'Seduction Central' readers. Be mindful that your birth info may be construed as "identifying information" (I remove this data when I regularly answer reader questions, but won't for the photo gallery), so only include it if you are comfortable doing so.

I'm partly doing this for my own reasons, because it would be easier for me to keep track of discussions if I can easily view your charts.

You're nearing the end of your first date, and nothing horrible has happened. In fact, the evening has progressed smoothly. Your Libra date has been charming, polite, great at conversation. Hell, he's even added romantic gestures that are "just right" at this stage of the game.

Yes, you want more. No, not tonight ... you don't want to send that kind of message too soon. But you see that this could go somewhere. However, he's a Libra -- how do you know all these flourishes are authentic? Maybe he's like this with all the girls.

Dinner's over, he drops you off at your place, tells you he had a wonderful evening -- "Me, too, " you add -- and gives you a light peck on the cheek. What? Is that all? Isn't he going to say, "Are you free on Wednesday?" No, instead he says, "I'll give you a call."

You wonder what that means. Is that the kiss-off of death, or his true intention? You reply, "Sounds great," and unlock your front door. He returns to his car. After you get inside, you collapse a little inside, for after so many awful first dates, this guy's actually someone you'd like to see again. But no follow-up is planned, and you're left hanging. You don't even know if he's interested. Do you wait for him to call? You're not up for asking him out, maybe because you're so frightened he would say no.

Fortunately, you've got this limitless tool called Sun sign astrology. Armed with the knowledge that Libra is a romantic at heart and wants to be in a relationship, that he craves balance and fairness in all things, which snappy line would you email him in less than a week's time, if he hasn't followed up?

Respond below.

Labels: astrology, libra

According to my last poll, the majority of respondents get the basics of astrology -- signs, planets, houses, aspects. Over the development of this blog, I've transitioned from generic posts about compatibility and Sun sign qualities to answering reader questions by writing about the dynamics of their natal charts. Am I getting too complex?

The most social houses of the natal chart are the Third, Seventh and Eleventh. These houses are naturally associated with the Air signs. The Third House (Gemini) includes neighbors, siblings, schoolmates. The Seventh House (Libra) includes significant others (spouse, mate), business partners, bestest friend, and open enemies. The Eleventh House (Aquarius) includes friends and groups.

Air concerns communication, ideas -- the mental realm. Libra, ruled by love planet Venus, is the most intimate of the Air signs. Gemini, ruled by communication planet Mercury, is more superficial and gossipy, represented by students or next-door neighbors gossiping. Aquarius, ruled by humanitarian Uranus, is the most detached of the Air signs, and can be represented by a group of like-minded individuals working together to improve conditions in the world.

This blog, by virtue of its title, has been exclusively focused on romantic relationships. Numerous readers -- judging from your questions and comments -- are not in relationships, and are struggling to navigate the world of dating and intimacy. Of course, this yearning is understandable (unless you're an Aquarius), but romantic relationships are only one aspect of our lives.

Where do the Third and Eleventh Houses fit into your life? Even if you're in a relationship, one person cannot fulfill all of your social needs. And if you're single, the people you meet in these Houses can be even more important. For without Air, we experience isolation.

Do you chat on the phone, or over IM? Are you involved in activist groups, or in online forums that cater to your interests? Do you regularly go out on the town with friends, or do you hang out in virtual bars in Second Life?

Friendships feed us, passing a familiar face on the sidewalk helps us to feel part of our community. A husband or wife is only part of the picture!

Comment below: What Third or Eleventh House friendships feed you?

Labels: astrology

Demetria provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

I have been in a relationship with a scorpio male for a yr. he cheated on me with a libra female 3 months into the relationship because he said I was yelling too much and smoking. He lied to me constantly about EVERYTHING. He swore he was in love with me and I was his dream girl but still cheated. She eventually dumped him and we got back together. (i eventually stopped the things he didnt like) he now swears he loves me, realizes he screwed up and wants to marry me. Is he really in love with me now or did he just come back by default?

Around April 2006, transiting Uranus -- the planet of unpredictability and independence -- entered your Seventh House of Partnership, which would have coincided with the beginning of your relationship with this Scorpio man. When Uranus enters this house, your partnership(s) are shaken up ... you experience an awakening in how you relate to significant others.

After its retrograde period -- when Uranus apparently moved backwards into your Sixth House -- this revolutionary planet re-entered your Seventh House around February of this year. Now the real work begins, and there is more change on the horizon. Uranus is approaching an opposition to your Virgo Sun, which rules your Twelfth House of secret love affairs. During this life-changing transit, you experience radical breakthroughs, an awakening of your self-expression, and a need to do things your own way, however unconventional. However, this transit is an opposition, with transiting Uranus in your Seventh House. Both the aspect and the house concern relationships, so your love life is the realm through which you will undergo an electric makeover. As such, you may feel that change is being thrust upon you, not that you are a conscious agent of your own revolution of self. And I hate to break it to you ... this transit is going to last a long time. Uranus stations retrograde at 18 Pisces -- one degree from your 19 Virgo Sun -- in June of this year, and passes 19 Pisces for the last time in January 2009.

Given the placement of transiting Uranus, the nature of the opposition aspect, and your Sun's association with hidden things, I would not expect any sense of relationship stability for the next 18 months.

About the lying: Pisces and Neptune are associated with deception. Pisces sits on your Seventh House cusp, and your Sun (men) squares Neptune. Transiting Uranus has also been stimulating your natal Neptune. You may have a pattern of being drawn to men who are deceptive, or at least escapist in nature.

I haven't answered your question. I don't know if he's in love with you. I do have two suggestions:

1. Don't get married until 2009.
2. Use this relationship as a vessel in which you learn -- through the Uranian principle of change -- that you, my dear Virgo, have less control than you think.

Jeffrey offers private consultations.

Labels: astrology, neptune, pisces, scorpio, uranus, virgo

Somebody messaged me over the weekend, stating her desire for an astrology chat room, and expressing disappointment that I only had the 'Seduction Central' chat room -- which has since been taken over by sixteen year olds -- on my blog sidebar for a few days.

I've started a new astrology chat room, this time password-protected. The password is sextile. If you would like me to include the chat room widget on the sidebar -- it works fine at its own web page -- let me know in the comments.

Labels: astrology

Sagilarious provided a birth time (click chart to view) and wrote,

This is going to sound flat out rediculous. Here goes: I fell in love with a Pisces man (with moon in Sagittarius) for the first time last summer. He and I were separated, and I love him with all my heart to this very day. Five months later, I fell in love with another Pisces man. Well, this one cheated on me. Today, a Pisces that I have been attracted to for a while just told me that he is in love with me. Since the first Pisces, it has been only about 10 months!!! I haven't spoken to the first one since July. The second one, not since April. The third, since 4 hours ago.

What is wrong with me? Another detail....they are all Turkish. This could be some deep rooted defect in my personality. Am I flawed? WTF!!! HELP PLEASE!!!

Did I mention the first one felt like my soul mate? :( 2nd one's a jerk...third is too sweet to damage. And....I think I am in love with all three of them!!! Is that possible?

Transiting Uranus in Pisces is conjoining your Moon, which rules your Ninth House. The Ninth House governs international affairs. Uranus is awakening this part of your natal chart, and bringing these Turkish Pisces men into your life. This attraction to foreign men is mirrored by your Sun conjunct Jupiter in Sagittarius, as both Jupiter and Sag are naturally associated with the Ninth, and concern the world at large.

I don't see how an attraction to Turkish Pisces men is a "deep rooted defect" in your personality. Perhaps you feel uncomfortable with your attraction to Pisces because your Moon makes a 90-degee angle, or square, to your Sagilarious Sun. You have difficulty integrating your emotional self with your conscious identity. Habit (Moon) and will (Sun) are at cross-purposes.

Could it be that these men actually feel familiar to you, and that you are judging yourself (Sag Sun, Jupiter) for these feelings (Pisces Moon)? Your Moon sits in your Fourth House of Home, Family and Roots. And you would feel "at home" with Pisces because your Moon conjoins their Suns (at least by sign). Moon-Sun conjunctions in synastry are beneficial for long-term relationships. In addition, your Sun conjoins the Moon's South Node in the Second House of Security. Maybe you were a rich Turkish princess in a past life, and you've been trying to find your prince in this one.

Jeffrey offers private consultations.

Labels: astrology, pisces, sagittarius, uranus

The initial stage of a relationship is harrowing, especially if you are with an uncommunicative man. You're falling for him, but he just won't come out and say how he feels. He's sticking around, yes ... but how do you know it's not just for sex, or because being with you is better than being alone? You want clarity! And unfortunately, the Scorpio man is not the most divulging guy on the block.

Scorpio is the sign of secrets. This sign is not forthcoming, but for good reason. Scorpio is an emotional water sign, and feels pretty deeply. It may not be obvious, but there's alot going on inside. The Scorpio man is keenly aware of people's ability to harm, abuse and manipulate one another. His ruling planet Pluto is the Lord of the Underworld, after all. Scary, dark things happen down there. Unspeakable things. It is better to just keep a lid on it, don't you think? Otherwise, all the demons will be unleashed, and that's not a pretty thing.

So, he keeps his feelings close to his chest. Although Scorpio has a rep for being mysterious, he's only hiding from you because he's afraid. After all, if he bares his soul to you, who knows how you can use that sensitive information to undermine him? He needs to trust you -- implicitly -- to give you the keys to his heart. He may indeed love you, but it's not easy for him to utter the words. Not until he's made sure they won't come back and haunt him.

Labels: astrology, scorpio

So, I created this chat room for the blog through meebo and put a widget in the sidebar, hoping that readers could talk about astrology and relationships without leaving the blog. There was no activity for a few days, and then two nights ago, I saw that tons of "young people" were chatting away, and definitely not about astrology. I figure that they found the room via meebo -- not this blog -- and that the title "Seduction Central" drew them in. Go figure! Here's a G-rated snippet:

[00:21] omgsex: wow i won't be able to wake tomorrow
[00:21] blah: its 11 30
[00:21] blah: I still have homework
[00:21] xena: I sleep during classes.

I have henceforth officially severed the room's ties with this blog. You can still visit it if you want to share your asl (age/sex/location) with someone who is hopefully of age.

aries303 provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

I've recently ended a 5 year relationship - my first real one, in part because I felt like I was "the man" of the couple and I longed to feel like the woman. As a single girl, I've been attracted to/attracting and dating Alpha types. 4 different guys I consider to be "my" type: powerful, aggressive, dynamic. But there is guy from my college days whoI've liked for six years. He is suddenly in my life again (we've been in schools in different cities and totally by chance, we're now working in the same hospital). He's the opposite of the guys I'm usually into . He's a Taurus with his Moon, Mercury, Venus, AND Mars in Aries (why the self-esteem issues?)! I've never been able to explain how instantly we connected. The reason we didn't get together in college was because - according to his best friend - he needed for me to make the first move, despite supposedly liking me a lot. I was bewildered and a little hurt and as a result, I refused to make the first move. Now I have the feeling he still likes me, since his best friend has started calling me again, wanting to hang out. This was always the only way this Taurus felt comfortable "going out" with me. I don't want to have to go through his friends anymore! I want to approach him directly but I'm worried that I'll scare him away! Is it a bad idea to be direct? How do I get the show on the road?

You and this Taurus man have two Sun-Moon conjunctions by sign (if not by aspect), with your your Sun and his Moon in Aries, and your Moon and his Sun in Taurus. These are good marriage aspects, for the Moon and Sun are the wife and husband.

I can also see why he'd want you to lead. As much as you want to be the "woman" in a relationship, you've got a lot of cardinal (initiating) energy, with Capricorn Rising and an Aries Sun. Other parts of your chart relate to your desire to be wined and dined: your love planets -- Venus and Mars in Pisces -- are more passive and yielding, and your Taurus Moon wants to be comforted.

Is it a bad idea to be direct?

How else are you going to get what you want? Taurus is reluctant to take risks, for he does not want to lose whatever security he has. He may be afraid of losing your friendship if he expreses his interest in you. So, you may have to be the "man" here to get things going. If you scare him away be being assertive, then he's not ready for you.

Transiting Venus is just entering your Seventh House, and will conjoin your Seventh House Jupiter -- planet of good fortune -- around June 4. That will be a good time for looove. Transiting Mars will conjoin your natal Sun around May 26, which will give you an extra boost of assertiveness. The worst that can happen is that nothing romantic will come of your friendship with this Taurus man ... and nothing has happened so far! Except for some potential embarrassment, you'll at least know that you tried.

Related: If I back off from a Taurus man , will he want me more?

Jeffrey offers private consultations.

Labels: aries, astrology, taurus

Send a donation today!

I do not know if it is bad form to ask for money, but here's the scoop:

The profession of blogging is relatively new. Business models to financially support one's blog have only cropped up in the last few years.

In April, I earned $216.74 from advertising revenues on this blog. I received $28 in donations, minus PayPal processing fees.

Assuming I put in one hour per weekday into this blog (a conservative estimate), I would have earned a little under $12 per hour in April as an astrology blogger.

I know I'm worth more than that. And I must acknowledge that this blog also serves as a marketing tool to sell my professional astrology services. However, only a small minority of readers schedule consultations with me.

I read more professional blogging blogs than I read astrology blogs, and one post I read stood out more than any other. The writer suggested that for a blog to succeed, both the blogger and the readers must get something out of the blog. Obviously, you would not keep coming back if you did not find something of value in what I write. I would not keep coming back if I did not achieve fulfillment through writing. However, despite the flow I experience when I write about astrology and look at readers' natal charts, I sometimes feel I'm not getting enough out of it -- namely, cash.

You don't owe me anything. I am grateful to have regular readers; to have a handful of regular commenters who go so far as to provide feedback and encouragement to other people in the comments section. Most of all, I appreciate the opportunity to have a forum in which to creatively express myself and provide a service at the same time. But if you find in your heart that something I have written over the past six months has somehow shifted your perspective or helped you gain insight into the discipline of astrology or your own love life, then please consider making a donation. I cannot honestly say I stand behind all the products and services that are being advertised on this blog, and would much prefer to be 100% financially supported by my readers. I know that is unrealistic at this time, but your contributions would help towards meeting that goal.

The New York Times magazine had a fascinating article by Clive Thompson about musicians who earn their living primarily through the internet. Yes, they tour and sell songs and merchandise over the internet, but some of them have a "pay what you can" business model for downloads of their songs.

The difference between astrology and music is that the latter provides an immediate emotional connection. A song can literally keep a person alive in dark times. It provides a "hook" into someone's inner world, making them feel that they cannot possibly be alone, because the songwriter expressed exactly what they were feeling inside.

Astrology, by virtue of its Aquarian nature, is more detached than music, which is a more Piscean discipline. It is intellectually fascinating, and can lead to flashes of insight that help one put the pieces of one's life together, but does it sink its teeth into your soul like a powerful rock ballad or a moving love song?

Perhaps I am busking right now. Although I am neither indigent nor itinerant, I am playing my music on these pages, hoping for some spare change to help me catch the bus to Baltimore.

Scorp provided a birth time (click chart to view) and asks,

Can you do a bit on the 8th & 12th house? I am interested in why I am so attracted to people with packed 8th and 12th houses.

The Eighth House is associated with Scorpio, and the Twelfth House is associated with Pisces. Someone with a packed 8th or 12th house will be Scorpionic or Piscean, respectively, regardless of the sign placement of their stellium of planets. Mind you, houses and signs are different. Signs express the planetary impulse, whereas houses indicate the area of life in which the planets express themselves. Astrology Notes has informative -- but not all-encompassing -- entries on Sun in the Eighth House and Sun in the Twelfth House.

To answer your question, we would look at chart factors that resonate with Scorpio and Pisces.

Scorpio: You have Gemini on the cusp of your Seventh House of Intimate Partnership. The ruler of Gemini, Mercury, is in Scorpio. Additionally, your Sun -- which symbolizes important men in your life -- is in Scorpio.

Pisces: Your Sun is conjunct Neptune, ruler of Pisces. A close Sun-Neptune contact in a hetero woman's chart would indicate attraction to a man who embodies Neptune: musical, imaginative, poetic, sensitive, escapist, helpless, unable to care for the responsibilities of daily life ... to name a few possible expressions of this archetype.

I also wonder if you are drawn to Aquarians. Your Sun is in the Eleventh house, your Mercury sits before the cusp of this house, and your Venus -- planet of attraction -- is conjunct Uranus. You'd be drawn to people who are unconventional and humanitarian.

Labels: astrology, eighth house, scorpio, twelfth house

hsat provided a birth time (click chart to view) and asks,

How do you get a scorpio [dated omitted] man to love and trust you if you broke his heart 15 years ago? prior to marriage....been married 8 years and this still comes up. I love him dearly.

Transiting Saturning is approaching a conjunction with your Venus -- planet of relationships -- at 20 Leo. Transiting Saturn was opposing your natal Venus in February 1993, which was a little more than 14 years ago. It was crossing your Ascendant -- and opposing your Seventh House of Intimate Partnership -- from March 1993 to December 1993. Saturn is the planet of hardship and obstacles. The opposition aspect often brings on a need to either end a relationship or make a significant change to make it work. I gather that the relationship ended back then, and that 1/2 a Saturn cycle later, you are needing to revisit this old relationship, to sew up the loose ends. As Saturn approaches its conjunction to Venus, a new cycle -- to last about 29 years -- will start. It is best to wrap things up, so that you can start anew.

As Saturn enters your Seventh House this summer, you can expect challenges in your marriage. Is it meant to last, or do you want to end it so that you can pursue the Scorpio whose heart you broke?

You may want to read:

• How Scorpios get over breakups
• How do you win a Scorpio male's affections for good
• How to get a Scorpio man to change his mind
• How to know when a Scorpio doesn't love you
• How to win a Scorpio back after you have hurt him

Either way, you can expect some difficulty, especially with transiting Neptune opposing your Venus. You cannot see clearly now in matters of love, and are prone to idealization and illusion. It is best to talk things over with objective friend before you make any hasty decisions.

Labels: astrology, saturn, scorpio, seventh house, venus

I set up a chat room on the right sidebar. It's a very new service, so may be wonky, but do try it out. I thought it would be a good way to support each other and talk astrology in real time. Please leave comments below about your experience.

The chat room also has its own dedicated web page.

UrbnMermaid writes,

I have a question regarding the 7th house. As it happens I have the Sun in 7th house, as well as Uranus and Neptune. I was wondering, do all those planets simply describe us, the way we relate to others, our tastes, etc. or hint at our FUTURE.

So far I have read several quite different interpretations of the 7th house Sun. What I don't understand is, does the Sun in this particular house describe the way we are in relationships or the qualities of our future spouse, (as the 7th house is the house of marriage) because both things are quite different.

And another thing, does it mean anything specific to have 3 planets in this particular house, because some people don't have any in their charts. And could they possibly mean anything as a combination?

The conundrum of having a Seventh House Sun is that you don't know who you're meeting in that house: yourself, or a partner? If you have your Sun at the dusk portion of your chart, you need to express yourself in the realm of partnership. You are necessarily "tied up" with others, and are not nearly as independent as someone with, say, a First House Sun. It feels as if you need to be in a relationship to feel fulfilled.

But who, exactly, do you meet in the Seventh House? Yourself? How many of us -- really -- are attracted to people who share our Sun sign?

There are many other factors that contribute to the signs to which we are attracted: The ruler of your Seventh House cusp, other planets in your Seventh House, the Moon, Venus, Mars. We can't just say, "Don't count the Sun" because, for example, two Cancers together would never leave the house. For although the Sun's Seventh House placement means that relationships are integral to your self-expression, this 'planet' also symbolizes men. The Sun is the King, the husband. Some astrologers believe that women don't "embody" their Sun sign, and instead "meet" their Sun through a husband -- that a woman may be more likely to "be" her Moon sign, since the Moon symbolizes women, mother, wife. So, maybe a woman would be attracted to a man with her own Sun sign.

You see, there are no easy answers. I've got a Seventh House Pisces Sun, so relationship is very important to me, but I'm rarely drawn to other Pisces. However, I do use dance (Pisces) as a vehicle to explore what it means to connect to another human being.

If you have outer planets like Uranus and Neptune in your Seventh House, you can look at it two ways: you need to experience revolution and transcendence in partnership, and that you come into contact with a partner who embodies these qualities. These two ways are not mutually exclusive. In fact, they support each other, in that your partner can assist you in the process of integrating these powerful archetypal forces into your life. These experiences can feel like they are coming from "outside of yourself," which can feel disruptive. But then again, you'd be drawn to someone who likes to shake things up.

If you have no planets in your Seventh House, it does not mean you won't have a relationship ... just that your energy is not as invested in partnership. However, planetary aspects within your chart may make up for that.

Labels: astrology, seventh house, sun

Pamela provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

My Gemini man cheated. Call me crazy (in love that is), but I want him back. So far, I've only read negative compatibility matches for Gemini man/Cancer woman. Does anyone know any successful matches for those signs? (Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise don't count for obvious reasons :) And how do I get him back?

She also wrote the following to me in the IM widget on this blog:

Well, he cheated on me with a Leo girl he thinks is more outgoing and compatible... We sort of broke up because of that, but he keeps calling me and saying he still has feelings for me.

Saturn -- the traditional ruler of your Seventh House cusp (Aquarius) -- is being opposed by transiting Pluto in your Fifth House of romance. Pluto is the planet of betrayal, and oppositions by transit often signify a "culmination" point, in which you either separate or decide to further your commitment. Of course, he was the one who cheated, but you must decide whether you want to continue the relationship. From what you have written, it sounds like he wants you to take him back.

During a Pluto transit to Saturn, you may feel that the structures in your life are being demolished, and that you are being severely constricted. It's a period of break-down, as well as a "no way out" existential crisis. This transit will not be over for you until November. If I were you, I'd be wary of taking him back with the attitude that it's "water under the bridge." This is an opportunity for you to expose the dark side of romantic involvements, not do further burying of the past.

Not surprisingly, your Saturn is in Gemini. You may be attracted to a man with this Sun sign, but your Saturn's conjunction to his Sun (by sign) makes a relationship with him a series of trials. Also, Gemini can be rather restless to a homebody Cancer. Not to say that it's not workable, but be forewarned.

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Labels: astrology, cancer, gemini, saturn, seventh house

The people have spoken (well, four of you), and I've done a complete overhaul on the blog's look. Don't worry, my wit and brilliance remain intact, it's just that I colored my hair and had it feathered.

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Comment below: How do you like it? Any additional feedback? Does this dress make me look fat?

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Libra Snake provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

I'm a libra woman.i'm always alone in my family. prefer 2 be alone, which is not a libra's trait.. but having problem with males. what i mean is i'm very simple not realy into a possessive or nasty lover. actualy not that type. i love 2 be neutral.Family girl.i never had a lover. but ALWAYS end up as BOYS behaving like intrested and they will tell something to their GF just to make them envy and then i'm always the GIRLS VICTIM.they attact me. my question is why is it ALWAYS LIKE DAT? no matter where i change my study place. I'm not intrested in stealing their men? in fact i'm quite quiet.most of the time. The only guy that i'm very much into is a SCORPIO. [DOB deleted] it has been 6 years still burning in my heart.eventhough i don realy show my burning feelings.i know he's very,very,very MEAN but..i don't know what to say...........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You want to know why you are the victim of jealous, angry girls [Libra Snake is 17]. You were born on an Aries Full Moon, with the Moon at the cusp (or beginning) of your Eight House. The Moon represent women; Aries is anger and aggression; the Eighth House concerns sex and emotions like jealousy and possessiveness. Your Moon is being expressed by others, as it is in "opposition" (180 degrees) to your Libra Sun. The tension between keeping the peace and going for what you want plays out in your natal Full Moon, with you taking on the role of the "neutral" (Libra) person.

However, you have a part to play in these conflicts. Your Sag Venus in the chatty Third House is making stressful aspects to both your Sun and Moon (semisquare Sun [45 degrees], sesquiquadrate Moon [135 degrees]). You attract (Venus) by being outgoing and talkative. In fact, your Venus is quite important as she is the ruler of your Libra Sun. Your adventurous spirit must somehow come through, no matter how shy (Virgo Rising) you say you are.

In addition, Mars -- the ruler of your Aries Moon -- is in Libra, conjunct your Sun and opposite your Moon. Mars in Libra does not like to express his assertiveness or anger directly. Although you have quite a bit of drive, it may be difficult for you act on your desires for fear of alienating others. You don't want to step on anyone's toes, but nonetheless the "juice" is there, and the girls (Moon) can see it (Mars opposite Moon). You can be quite charming and disarming, but you may not be taking responsibility for your self-expression. Although you cannot control the boys' attraction to you, don't underestimate the power of the "vibes" you put out.

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Labels: astrology, chart analysis, libra

I purchased a sponsored review at Baggage Reclaim, and received some constructive feedback.

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Attraction to unavailable people is all too common, whether they are married, far away, too busy or just emotionally closed down. Although there is a time to focus on the "why" of your yearning for what is out of reach, you can also explore the spiritual quality of your desire.

I don't mean to elevate obsession to a sanctified state of being. All too often, it removes us from our centers. However, your longing is far from mundane.

Venus and Neptune concern our desire to connect. Whereas Venus wants to love another person, Neptune wants to transcend the "self" to love everything. Venus rules attraction, but Neptune is beyond ordinary desire. Neptune wants us to dissolve our egos to blend with that which is outside of us. It does not matter if you're drawn to a tree, a person, an image of God or Goddess. If you see it as separate, Neptune wants you to realize that there is no wall between you, except for the one that you have created in your mind.

When you feel pain that you cannot be with the object of your desire, this feeling derives from your experience of being isolated. You believe that another person will "complete" you, or fill up the hole of emptiness you feel in your soul. It is possible that intimacy with this person will bring a near-sense of wholeness, but all too often the fantasy bears little resemblance to reality. Your latest obsession turns out to be a human being, with flaws and all -- but one who may be totally inappropriate relationship material.

Neptune is god of the seas, and as such, water metaphors help to explain his effect on us: a cloud of delusion, feeling like one is in a fog. You can rarely see clearly when Neptune is involved. Your fantasies and dreams get in the way of reality. Disappointment and disillusionment are frequent after-effects of Neptune, for when the fog clears, the real person emerges, and they aren't "all that."

You can use this disparity between fantasy and reality to learn about yourself. Consult a "wise one" (astrologer, psychotherapist, psychic, guru, ...) to help you, or do it yourself through journalling.

However, don't stop at understanding why you're attracted to the "unattainable." The Sufi poet Rumi wrote that the heartache associated with yearning for Divine connection is the connection itself. It is in your longing that you are acknowledging your need to move beyond your own "small self."

It has been written before that you cannot be in a healthy relationship if you are not first comfortable with being alone. This may or may not be true. More relevant to this discussion is that the desire itself for a relationship can both bring the pain of your loneliness to the forefront of your consciousness, and obliterate your identification as an individual, thus dissolving the ache -- for momentarily, you are One with another. Even if it is just a fantasy, the experience of imagining your total connection with another person (or God/Goddess) overshadows your usual sense of isolation.

Living within the Neptunian realm at the expense of the Saturnian (reality) is not the answer. Even Zen monks chop wood and carry water. But embrace your longing, for when you don't forget your "self," your longing shines a mirror back at you, illuminating the divine aspect of yourself that knows you are not really alone.

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Dixie Gal provide a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

Hi.. I have been seeing a wonderful Aries man for a little over a month. What is the best way to keep him interested. In one sense he is shy, but in others he is wide open. I am too old for games and wish not to become just another memory... I love life but have lost some of my sensual side and desire to rekindle that fiery side of oneself.

The traditional ruler of your Aquarius Descendant (or Seventh House cusp) is Saturn in Aries in the Ninth House. This section of your chart concerns international travel, religion, philosophy, issues of meaning and faith, academic pursuits ... in general, your desire to expand your horizons and experience adventure both mentally and physically. Since the planet signifying "the other" is in your Ninth House, you could try to keep him interested by asking him to join you in a pursuit related to this house. Go to free lectures at the university, or church events. Propose a trip somewhere exotic.

This area of life has always been a struggle for you, as Saturn brings a feeling of inferiority or deficit to whatever house he tenants. As a result, you have been seriously exploring what Ninth House concerns mean for you, in order to overcome your fear of not feeling fulfilled or successful in matters of faith and "big pictu