No breakup is easy -- the best you can do is minimize the sting. And let's assume that you're not seeking advice to make your own life easier, but rather to let him go with the least possible harm done.

Although Libra is not the most sensitive sign in the zodiac, he is one of the most relationship-focused. Assuming he's not been unfaithful, he'll likely be devastated when you break the news.

Don't do it over email, IM or text message. Libra is a face-to-face type of guy, and the impersonal nature of internet communication can leave him feeling cold. Although breaking up over the computer or via SMS is nearly always an inappropriate escape route, Libra will experience this technological goodbye as a grave affront.

Be fair. To appeal to Libra's sense of balance, focus equally on each of your faults and strengths. Better yet, frame the reason(s) for the breakup in terms of "the relationship" instead of what he did wrong. For example, state that "we" had difficulty managing the issue of his flirtatiousness at parties and how you emotionally responded to his behavior. That is, it takes two to tango, and you each had a part to play in whatever led to the breakup. It may be your decision, but you're not an innocent bystander.

Break the news in a pleasing environment. He'll remember this moment, so you may as well reduce his future suffering by picking a nice spot. If his recollection is going to hurt, it will be worse if he has an image of your last moments near the dumpster behind Walmart. Take him to the beach, give the breakup some quasi-romantic overtones.

Don't let him talk you out of it. Libra likes to please, and will offer to compromise or give up something in order to keep you. His diplomatic flair and mediation skills can be used to dissuade from your original position. If a breakup is what you really want, stand firm.

Comment below: How did you break up with your Libra?

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Labels: astrology, breakups, libra

The following astrology and relationship bloggers have kindly linked to me since I started this blog in November of last year. This blog is going on six months old, and I appreciate anyone who has supported its growth. Check them out!

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1. Come from a wealthy family. Scorpio has an incentive to marry into money, because then he gets half. Don't ask him to sign a pre-nup -- he will feel you don't trust him (which you don't), and he won't get his share of the booty after the divorce.
2. Withhold sex. Not entirely, because you want to give him a taste of what's to come. But hold back on the dirty stuff, and promise him you'll fulfill his kinky fantasies on the honeymoon.
3. Blackmail him. Dig up some dirt, and let him know you'll only keep his secrets if you two tie the knot.
4. Tell him that only through marriage can he truly control you. (The "c" word is Scorpio's favorite!) This institution, after all, was created to legitimize the sexual ownership of women.
   
5. While you're at it, give him carte blanche to screw around behind your back. He's going to do it, anyway. (This one is courtesy of a Scorpio female!)

Comment below: How did you get your Scorpio man to the church on time?

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Labels: astrology, marriage, scorpio

Marsey provided a birth time (click chart to view) and asks,

I'm often attracted to men who are not compatible with my sun sign and not attracted to the ones that are. This is a problem because eventually the relationship that I start with the incompatible man ends because we are incompatible.. I'm not overly picky. I want a man who is sexy, charismatic, intelligent and fun to be with. I find that men who are compatible with Virgo are boring or moody and I am turned off by them. This is a habit I want to break but can't stand the idea of being with a man I find boring...Help!

Boring: Taurus and Capricorn. Moody: Cancer and Scorpio. Is that what you're saying? Why don't you name names?

Looking at your chart, I'd surmise that you are attracted to Libras. Mars, the traditional ruler of your Scorpio Descendant, is in Libra. Also, Mars signifies guys you're hot for. Libra's incompatible with Virgo, as far as Sun signs go. Better for you would be a Scorpio Sun (to match your Seventh House cusp) with Venus in Libra. A Mars-Venus conjunction between charts would be great for sex, and Scorpio would be a good Sun sign match with Virgo. Your Neptune in Scorpio would find him just dreamy.

Let's get back to "boring and moody." You've got Taurus rising and Venus in Cancer. Surely, some part of you craves security. Your Sun conjoins both Uranus and Pluto, though, so you also need excitement and intensity. Stability is not so easy for you to accomplish, with your attraction to mysterious men and rabble-rousers.

Saturn is sufficiently "boring." And he's opposing your love planet Venus, which is also the ruler of your chart. It is not so easy to find love with this placement. You may not feel you are getting the adoration you crave, and that warm and cozy Cancer feeling can be hard to come by. Not impossible, mind you, for Saturn is also the planet of commitment and responsibility. But until you resolve your insecurites about being able to attract someone who can care for you, you may continue to be drawn to precisely those types who won't provide what you need.

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Labels: astrology

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Jara provided a birth time (click on chart to view) and asks,

I keep attracting guys who have Venus in Aries and I don't know why. I have no Aries planets in my natal chart.

I do like some Venus in Aries traits like their optimism and quick sense of humor, BUT I hate how I seem to clash with them. Our arguments get very heated to the point of near-violence. All they seem to care about is winning, not trying to find a compromise or listen to the other person. It's like when they get mad, they can't THINK anymore, which is very frustrating. All emotion and fire, no reason or restraint.

Every man who I've had this reaction to has Venus in Aries and I know there's something wrong here. The worst was with a guy who had Venus AND Mars in Aries! I don't want to repeat this experience in the future because it's very stressful, but the last 5-6 guys I've dated have this placement. I don't find out until after we've been dating awhile and have our 1st argument.

How can I avoid guys with Venus in Aries without having to resort to asking a guy his birthday within the first 5 minutes of meeting him? Also, is there anything in my chart that explains this attraction (The attraction may be 2-sided, but since guys are usually the initiators....)?

You have Mars conjunct your Descendant, or Seventh House cusp. Anytime a planet conjoins an angle, that planet has extra strength. In your case, aggressive energy is experienced in relationships. Mars rules Aries, so it is no surprise you would attract fiery, winner-take-all men. This combativeness manifests verbally because Mars is in communicative Gemini.

This is your Mars in Gemini. Have you owned it? At the risk of "blaming the victim," it could be that you encounter this anger from men because you have not taken full responsibility for your own tendency to act out your heated emotions with words. (Just a thought!)

Adding to this tension, Saturn squares Mars, restraining your ability to express initiative. Perhaps the weight of this restrictive planet makes it difficult for you to marshall your will to get what you want in relationships, thus you get verbally "run over" by your boyfriends.

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Labels: astrology, mars

Susan provided a birth time and asked,

wondering why i have had so much success in the area of career, and one disaster after another w. relationships. am i doomed to singlehood?! (wouldn't mind a kid too, but first things first!)

Susan, your two work planets (Saturn and Mars) -- which are also the rulers of your Aries Ascendant and Capricorn Midheaven -- are in a tight opposition, providing you the discipline to work through any obstacles that come your way.

Your Descendant (or Seventh House cusp) is Libra, and Libra's ruler Venus is also in Libra, but in your Sixth House. Venus is in its own sign, which is a good placement. Placed in the Sixth House, you may feel that your relationships are intertwined with the idea of service. Although Libra concerns fairness and balance, the Sixth House is about power differences: mentor/apprentice, homeowner/service person, boss/employee. You may end up being involved with people who work for you, or vice versa.

Venus is also in a tense semi-square -- a 45 degree angle -- with Neptune. You may make too many sacrifices to meet your ideals in a relationship, only to be disappointed when reality sets in.

Your Libra Moon sits exactly on your Descendant, indicating a need for caretaking and nurturing in a primarily relationship. Your emotional well-being depends greatly on others, as this 'planet' is both in the sign and house of partnership. Do you people-please to much? Do you sacrifice your "ground" to get approval from men? Your Moon is also in tense aspect with your Saturn-Moon opposition (semi-square Mars, sesquisquare Saturn), which could manifest as difficulty getting your emotional needs met, irritability, conflict between career and home.

You are not doomed to singlehood. Bring some of your Leo Mars assertiveness into your relationships to help you focus less on putting others first. Also, a dose of Saturnian reality should clear the fog of illusions about love.

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Labels: astrology

I am now offering the option to include your exact birth information when you ask a question for this blog. If you have already submitted a question that I have not answered, feel free to enter that information -- if you enter your email, I will match it with your earlier submission.

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Somebody found this blog by typing "How to manipulate a Scorpio" into google. People type lots of interesting questions into google, and I am privy to just a small portion of what's in the collective's mind, thanks to the wonders of web statistics. And although most of it is pretty innocent -- along the lines of "How do I get an Aries man to fall in love with me?" -- other questions reveal the dark side of how we use astrology.

It may be the case that astrology is not "spiritual" for some people who believe in it. I'm not one of them. If you buy the premise that the solar system works in such a way that the astronomical position of all the planets -- as well as the Sun and Moon -- correlates to an astounding degree with human character through an interpretation of these planetary bodies as archetypal symbols, then you ought to come to the conclusion that some Divine Intelligence designed the solar system so that we humans could notice this correspondence ("As Above, So Below") and experience awe of Her or His or Its Workings.

Having established that life is not meaningless, that there is a connection between our affairs on Earth and (our observation of) these "impersonal" planets millions of miles away from us, we may believe that we are all in this together, and that harming one person harms us all. Being "spiritual" is not about having deeper knowledge about the workings of Divine Intelligence, but using that knowledge to diminish human suffering, not add to it.

Hence, using one's understanding of astrology to manipulate another human being is plain wrong. Although I'm not a Christian, I would go so far as to say it's a sin. If you understand someone's inner character -- whether by virtue of knowing his Sun sign or his whole chart -- you are in a position of power. You cannot use that power against someone.

So even if I did know how to manipulate a Scorpio, I wouldn't tell you.

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LeeLee writes,

I am a Gemini lady who has the hots for a Cap guy. Problem is I am a few years older than him--but still attractive and very "lively". This man has shown some interest in me and I catch him watching me a lot at work, but we have never made any outright moves on each other. I try to show him I care by being interested in his well-being and generally showing concern for him but I think my master plan has backfired. He has started calling me MAMMA! I'm not sure if he means "hot mamma" or that I'm acting like I'm his MOTHER! I'd like to laugh but I'm not really sure this is funny... Any ideas?

Work-places romances come with a stigma. They are frowned upon in some company policies, and it sucks having to see your ex everyday at the office. But there's more to it. The office is kind of like a family. We bring our old issues to this adult environment, where we often spend more waking hours than we do with our roommates or loved ones. It is natural to project our childhood stuff onto our colleagues. Hence, sleeping with a co-worker can have incestuous overtones. If your colleagues find out, it's like your siblings have learned your secret. Do they tell the Boss (Mom/Dad)?

For a Capricorn, work is sacrosanct. It is nearly his identity. So, he may be even more loathe than others to sleep with a co-worker. This conservative sign doesn't want to risk the security of his career.

Are you being maternal? Words like concern and well-being have a care-taking flavor to them. Using solar houses, nurturing Cancer is on Capricorn's seventh house of partnership. He does look for the mothering type to balance his more dry orientation, someone who can bring the feeling element into his life. But Taurus sits on his fifth house of lovers. If you want a fling, it is better to be sensual than doting. If you have the hots for him, why are you not being flirtatious, instead?

It should be easy to tell the difference between "mother" and "hot mamma" when he calls you Mamma. Tone of voice, the look in his eye -- these are cues to which you can pay attention. He may be using the mother sense of "Mamma" to put up a safe wall, stating (unconsciously) that work-place relationships are a no-no. Or, he may be teasing, calling you on your Cancer moves, when he wants something more earthy. Only observation -- or a direct question -- will give you that answer.

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Labels: astrology, capricorn

There's been a short discussion in the comments section on Does Uranus in the Seventh House automatically mean infidelity?

proserpine wrote,

I have heard ... that Moon in Libra means the person is unfaithful in relationships, but that that placement often means the native will have two relationships at the same time(or want to have them). Libra Sun will often have two relationships--and *that* I can testify to--personally, and second-hand.:-).

I have known a few Moon-in-Libra folks and they often do have more than one love affair going on.

I scoured the web a bit to look into this, because it's not something I've heard about. (Was I not invited to the cheating party?)

novareinna writes, "Libra is easily attracted to other individuals and fidelity is not this Sign's strong suit...although ironically, there may be evidence of jealousy on both sides at displays of such disloyal behavior."

Victoria Bazeley writes in the larger context of afflictions to Neptune in Libra, "I get a bit suspicious when I see a lot of Libra in any chart (including a Libra Ascendant), although I don’t actually have the hard data to back up my suspicions."

Granted, I don't have any personal planets in Libra, so this sign is somewhat alien to me. But conceptually, Libran infidelity doesn't make sense. Yes, they're flirtatious, but among the air signs, Libra would be the least likely to cheat. Aquarius is the sign of independence, and Gemini is the sign of "twos," needing variety to keep stimulated. Libra is just so focused on partnership -- why would they be unfaithful?

Perhaps indecision would be one culprit. Libra may be torn between two (or more) lovers, because they're constantly balancing each person's virtues and faults.

Libra is ruled by Venus, whose counterpart is Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love and beauty. Aphrodite frequently cheated on her hubby, Hephaestus. If you are a Libra, the sign placement of your Venus will be especially significant. Due to its proximity to the Sun, Venus can only be within two signs of either side of Libra, so that would mean Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio and Sagittarius. Venus in Sag would be prone to play the field.

I also suspect that the outer planets may have something to do with this reputation. Boomers born between 1943 and 1956 have Neptune in Libra, and people born between 1968 and 1975 have Uranus in Libra. Any Libras born during either of these periods are likely (using a 10 degree orb for a conjuction to one's Sun) to have their basic nature influenced by either of these powerful planets.

Victoria Bazeley again writes,

afflictions to Neptune in Libra (affecting the generation now in its 50s) have proven to be problematic in a number of cases. (Libra is the sign of marriage, so this is a blending of the symbols for deception and marriage!)

And people with Uranus-Sun conjuctions need their share of freedom, not to mention the fact that Uranus in Libra breaks down the conventions of marriage.

Anyone with a Moon in Libra who was born during these two periods will likely have a Moon-Neptune or Moon-Uranus conjunction, which correspond, respectively, with poor boundaries or a need for independence in relationships.

I'm not convinced Libra deserves this bad rap, but I'm open to your comments below. My Aquarian Moon wants some logical explanations, though.

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Labels: astrology, infidelity, libra

Tina wrote in response to Uranus in the Seventh House:

I recently saw a birthchart report that said Uranus in the 7th means unfaithfulness. Does Uranus in the 7th house automatically mean infidelity/unfaithfulness? Can it just mean needing space or change in the relationship? Let's say a person has sun in Capricorn or a Taurus ascendant or Venus in Taurus? Wouldn't the "stability" of those planets tame the restlessness somehow?

On a not so related note...I personally have Uranus in my 1st and a moon in Libra. I have had descriptions state that my moon in Libra can make me unfaithful in relationships yet I have never cheated in any of my relationships and also have never had an affair with someone in a relationship.I AM very independant due to Uranus in my 1st and need space but I prefer to be faithful. As a matter of fact infidelity seems offensive to me. Sure I get tempted like everybody else does but I have never acted on those impulses. I wonder if that may be cause of my ... Venus in Taurus "taming" that effect in some way? And if in that same regard can a person who has Uranus in their 7th be a bit more restrained due to startegically placed earth signs in their chart.

Computerized astrology reports are a mixed bag. They provide lots of useful interpretations, but without any integration of chart factors, or any human touch, for that matter. They're much less expensive than a consultation with a professional astrologer, but you get what you pay for. Although they are most of the time written by professional astrologers, quality varies, as some astrologers are better than others. In addition, some great astrologers are lousy writers. (Full Disclosure: I am an affiliate and employee of Tarot.com, which sells astrology reports.)

Any astrological placement has a variety of meanings. It doesn't come alive until it is placed within the context of the whole chart. As in Gestalt philosophy, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. An astrology report provides many "parts," but cannot provide a perspective of the "whole."

I hope the report you read noted unfaithfulness as only one of many possible expressions of Uranus in the Seventh, for that would be plain irresponsible. Yes, the Uranian imperative to experience independence in marriage can lead to infidelity, but I wouldn't call that its highest expression. (See my related post, The Seventh House curse of Uranus on the Descendant?)

As you wisely wrote, the strong presence of the earth element in one's chart would temper one's propensity to go wild and crazy in relationships. In your chart, Venus in Taurus is the dispositor (or ruler) of your Moon in Libra, so this yearning for relationship stability informs your instinctual responses. But anyways, I don't see how Moon in Libra would correspond with unfaithfulness. One, you need to be in a relationship to feel secure; and two, it's just plain vulgar.

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Labels: astrology, seventh house, uranus

K.illa I.nstincts (a woman) asks,

Im what I call a dominate Female and I'm a Sagittarius. I find it hard to get some actual input goin site to site but u have my full attention. My Question is How Do I Get a Woman Gemini that approached me to give me the attention and time now that she has my full attention? How Do I become irresistible to her?

We are fascinated, yet annoyed, by the sign opposite our own. They complete our deficiencies, yet inevitably do or say something totally off-putting. Gemini and Sagittarius concern information and ideas, but both address them in different ways. Gemini is interested in information for its own sake, and wants to communicate and trade data, words, stories, gossip. This sign is akin to the school child who is hungry for learning, who devours books and incessantly asks her parents questions like, "Why is the sky blue?"

Sagittarius is interested in meaning. A fact is no more than a fact, but when you look at bits of information from a bird's eye view, you see the big picture. What connects the dots? Is there a "maker" behind these seemingly random connections?

K.illa, you write that you are a dominant Sag ... but how can such a fiery sign be submissive, unless to a Higher Power? Sag is the guru, the professor, the judge. If Gemini is the student, you are the teacher. If Gemini is the journalist, you are her editor.

Being in a position of authority is a mixed bag. Gemini will look up to you for direction, but will also resent your opinions given from On High. You will appreciate her thirst for knowledge, yet become irritated when she revels in the latest gay outings instead of focusing on the application of queer theory to serialized TV dramas.

So, to become irresistible to this Gemini woman, you need to listen (because she loves to talk), and be mentally stimulating. Given your enthusiasm for understanding the world at large and its various religions and philosophies, you do have stories to tell. Even if your adventures are limited to your hometown, your mind has been travelling, putting together pieces of the puzzle of life. The key with Gemini is to entertain and inform, but to refrain from preaching your particular gospel. She just doesn't care about the big questions, like you do. Thrill her with your brainpower, but don't get too big for your britches.

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Labels: astrology, compatibility, gemini, sagittarius

Virgo chick asked in the comments section of Uranus in the Seventh House:

I have Uranus at 6 degrees Virgo conjunct my Descendant in Virgo. I have never been able to sustain a long term relationship. The longest was 9 months. However, this is not because I chose to end the relationships. In fact having a long term happy relationship is what I yearn for and I feel continually frustrated and sad that I can't develop anything significant that lasts. I also have the sun conjunct venus and pluto in Virgo and they sit between 13 and 15 degrees Virgo. Also chiron opposes from 14 degrees Pisces. Any comments or tips for me to break free of my 7th house curse!

Uranus and Pluto are transpersonal forces, by definition beyond human control. When these archetypes play out in your encounter with the Other, you can either channel the "will" of these outer planets in your intimate relationships, or just let them do with you what they will. With consciousness, you may be at the wheel, but you're driving in severe conditions. Without awareness, you're on a flat cart with wheels, but you have no way to steer -- and the weather is just as chaotic.

Uranus turns tradition on its face. In the domain of partnership, rigid personal and cultural mores need to be dismantled. I do not doubt that you yearn for a long term relationship, especially with a Seventh House Sun. However, your definition of "relationship" may be contributing to your frustrations. You may need to intentionally develop a partnership that sits outside of conventions. You desire more freedom and independence than a typical marriage allows.

However, your situation is modified by your Sun-Venus-Pluto conjunction. You also yearn for a profoundly intimate connection, one that allows you to explore the depths of what it means to share yourself with another human. The power and control issues, as well as the feelings of possessiveness and jealousy, that arise in a Venus-Pluto conjunction make it difficult to simultaneously function in a relationship that thrives on independence. For example, an open relationship may be attractive to Uranus, but will raise the ire of Venus-Pluto.

Your strong Virgo emphasis may also contribute to the difficulty of maintaining a long-term relationship. Are you intensely critical of your partners? Do you have very particular ideas of what you need in a relationship, as well as daily rituals that may feel disrupted by the constant presence of another adult?

Perhaps you'd do well with a brilliant but obsessive iconoclast who's not afraid of deep intimacy, someone whose presence instigates the death of your old schema of relationships. Fortunately, transiting Uranus is conjoining your natal Chiron and opposing your Sun-Venus-Pluto conjunction all of 2007. This transit will awaken the wounds related to your identity and appearance, as well as the part of you that requires a rebirth of your values concerning partnership. Unexpected changes and out-of-the-blue appearances are par for the course, so allow yourself to be open to change.

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Labels: astrology, seventh house, uranus

Leos love being engaged: the glitzy rock; the bachelor(ette) parties; setting up the registry at Williams-Sonoma.

Granted, a Leo guy won't be the one with the big conflict-free diamond on his finger, but he'll be just as happy to be the one buying it. What Leo doesn't like to give generously?

But he hasn't made the jump, and you want to get him down on one knee to present you with a small velvet box. How to?

I'd normally suggest you reverse gender roles and propose to him, but your assertiveness in this matter may wound Leo's pride. Dethroning the king will work against you. Instead, you must inspire him to express his whole-hearted devotion to you.

Fortunately for you, Leo has a big heart, and thrives on displays of affection. However, this extravagant sign does not pick up subtle clues well, so don't waste your precious time being oblique. Rather, incessantly talk about your friends who are getting married; mention how nice a honeymoon in Greece would be; drag him to Tiffany's and swoon over the pretty jewels. He'll want to make you happy, if you don't drive him crazy first.

If that doesn't work, get pregnant. Leos love kids.

Comment below: How did you get your Leo down on one knee?

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Labels: astrology, leo

Tina asked yesterday in response to How to determine the planetary ruler of your Seventh House,

If the Seventh House cusp represents what we look for in a partner, does that automatically mean a compatible match for us? Or simply what we are drawn to in overall terms?

There's an "opposites attract" reasoning to the statement that "the Seventh House cusp represents what we look for in a partner." The Ascendant is the face we present to the world -- our persona -- as well as our physical body type. Hence, it makes sense that we would be drawn to a person who complements us, who "balances" us (as per Libra, which is naturally associated with the Seventh House).

But the sign on your Descendant is not automatically a compatible match. Although we may be attracted to our opposite, signs on the same axis of polarity have their share of conflicts. Additionally, there are many other factors involved in our attractions, and that's not even getting into chart comparisons.

Any planets in your Seventh House will contribute to the picture of your partner. As I mentioned previously, someone with Uranus in the Seventh may be drawn to unconventional, eccentric types. Someone with the Moon in the Seventh will look for a nurturer, and so on.

Also, the sign and house placement of the Seventh House ruler provides information about your match. To use myself as an example: I have a thing for Scorpios, probably for two reasons.

1. I have Venus (attraction) opposite Pluto (ruler of Scorpio).
2. The traditional ruler of my Pisces Descendant is Jupiter in Scorpio in the Third. (Jupiter's house placement plus Mercury conjunct my Descendant corresponds with my attraction to people who are good with words.)

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Labels: astrology, seventh house

If you've ever had your chart done, you're likely to remember your Sun, Moon and Rising signs, and not much else. However, that's all you need to know to find out the ruler of your Seventh House. This area of your chart governs marriage, significant partnerships (business or otherwise), and open enemies. For the purposes of this blog, it concerns any romantic relationship beyond a fling (which would be governed by the Fifth House).

The Rising Sign is the sign that was at the eastern horizon (Ascendant) at the time of your birth. Opposite the Ascendant is the Descendant, or Seventh House cusp. The sign at the cusp of this house tells you what qualities you look for in a partner, as well as how you approach relationships.

Each sign of the zodiac is ruled by a planet, and the planet that rules your Seventh House provides more information about partnerships. The house that it inhabits indicates another area of life related to your marriage (or significant relationship). In addition, when this planet is stimulated by transit or progression, your Seventh House is affected, too.

Look below for your Rising Sign in bold, and then for the planet(s) ruling your Seventh House.

Aries -- Venus (Libra Descendant)
Taurus -- Mars, Pluto (Scorpio Descendant)
Gemini -- Jupiter (Sagittarius Descendant)
Cancer -- Saturn (Capricorn Descendant)
Leo -- Saturn, Uranus (Aquarius Descendant)
Virgo -- Jupiter, Neptune (Pisces Descendant)
Libra -- Mars (Aries Descendant)
Scorpio -- Venus (Taurus Descendant)
Sagittarius -- Mercury (Gemini Descendant)
Capricorn -- Moon (Cancer Descendant)
Aquarius -- Sun (Leo Descendant)
Pisces -- Mercury (Virgo Descendant)

Why do some of these signs have two planetary rulers? One is traditional, the other modern. The traditional planets stop at Saturn. I personally lean towards using the traditional ruler.

Comment below: Do you know which house "tenants" your Seventh House ruler?

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Labels: astrology, seventh house

Some readers appreciated my description of Uranus in the Seventh House, yet I suspect many visitors are not familiar with astrology beyond Sun signs. I want this blog to be accessible to all, yet I also want it to be a forum for regular readers to explore the intricacies of their charts. Maybe I can't have it all, but I can find a happy compromise.

Can you do me a favor and complete this poll?


Comment below: Where would you like to see this blog go?

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Labels: poll

Aquamarine writes:

Dear Jeffrey,

Along your various posts, you 've seemed to consider that Aquarius & Gemini, if not star-crossed, are not altogether a match made in heaven. I'm a Gemini woman with Cancer rising, a Scorpio moon, and Venus in 1st House and conjunct Cancer, if that's any help... I've just started a relationship with an Aqua guy: conversation rocks even if we often agree to disagreee, sex is great although I'd like him to be more of a lingerer before serious stuff begins, the only thing is I find him way too detached, as he would be; but I've also read somewhere that a gemini with cancer rising is all an aquarius man needs, what with her gentle yet relentless energy to support and stabilize him.

I'd be super grateful to hear your take on all this. Do you think we could last as a couple, starwise of course?

I don't recall stating that Aquarius and Gemini are star-crossed. In fact, these air signs get along well. Unfortunately, you're water-heavy, which does not fit well with Aquarius. With your Moon in Scorpio and a first-house Venus in Cancer, you are focused on intimacy. Someone with Venus close to the Ascendant looks to her environment with an eye for beauty and love, and this goddess' placement in Cancer adds a romantic, sentimental touch. A far cry from cold, detached Aquarius, if you ask me.

Additionally, with the Moon in Scorpio, you delve deeply into the world of emotions, and feel most secure when you are intensely intimate with another. Another Aquarius repellent. So although your chatty Gemini Sun connects intellectually with the Water Bearer, many of your important chart factors clash with this distant sign. Unless he, too, has some water in his chart to orient him towards closeness, he may be put off by all the lovey-doveyness of your Venus.

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Labels: aquarius, astrology, compatibility, gemini

What? No zodiac sign today? I hate to break it to you, boys and girls, but there's more to astrology than the signs. In fact, planets are where it's at. Signs are just butter on your bread, dressing on your salad, scallions on your sweet potato.

Uranus is the planet of revolution, sudden change, and independence. We all have this disruptive influence in our charts, and because this outer planet spends about seven years in a zodiac sign as it travels around the Earth (!), its sign placement is not so important. Rather, its house placement shows where you need to shake up the status quo in your life.

We all have twelve houses in our chart, the houses being a way to divide time and space. They relate to areas of our lives, and the Seventh House concerns marriage and other significant partnerships. The Seventh House is the "dusk" part of our chart. If the Sun were in your Seventh House, that means that our star was soon to set at the time of your birth.

There's about a 1-in-12 chance that anyone you meet has Uranus in their Seventh House. Woe be unto the poor soul who falls in love with such a person! The U7 (let's call them), somewhat like someone with Venus in Aquarius, needs independence in his marriage or significant partnership. He won't be tied down in any type of traditional relationship. U7 may be attracted to eccentric, brilliant or off-beat types as partners. Or he needs an unconventional arrangement -- maybe an open marriage, or at least freedom from the constraints of being at his spouse's side at all times. He may also feel that significant others are forcing change upon him, or that his spouse undergoes personal revolutions on a regular basis.

Uranus in the Seventh is a more powerful placement than Venus in Aquarius. U7 must continually break down the rigid structures of partnership. He will be compelled to shake things up when they become stagnant. Hence, U7 is not the ideal man if you want anything resembling a stable partnership. This does not mean that you can't maintain longevity -- but to make it work, you have to be flexible enough to withstand periodic upheavals in your love life. I guarantee it won't be boring, but if you can't tolerate the relationship equivalent of the Storming of the Bastille, turn away now.

Comment below: Do you have Uranus in the Seventh? How do you experience it?

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Labels: astrology, seventh house, uranus

I'm off to Florida tomorrow to celebrate Grandma's 90th birthday. I'll resume posting on Monday, and may not be able to moderate comments until then. Have a good weekend!

In early March, a Taurus wrote:

i arranged to go out for drink with a Libra, he agreed to meeting up and seemed quite friendly in his texts. Until the day of going out he textd me a blunt message saying he couldnt make it, i assume hes not interested but y did he turn cold

Today, presumably the same person wrote:

Im female had a date with Libra male. Before his texts were warm and friendly. He cancelled last minute saying couldnt make it his text was cold. Thought that was it. Then he text me after 3 weeks. I replied but not heard again yet. Help?

One wouldn't normally accuse Libra of being cold. This Venus-ruled sign is charming and polite. Unfortunately, Libra goes out of his way to avoid offending anyone, and there may not always be a diplomatic way to cancel a date.

How to back out gracefully? I'll leave matters of textiquette to Miss Manners. Although cell phones are a great medium for an air sign, it may be difficult to convey emotional subtleties via SMS. Just because a text feels cold doesn't mean that was the texter's intention. And besides, would it have been better for him to write that he was no longer sweet on you? I'm not sure a Libra would text anything to hurt your feelings. Maybe he thought that "i cant make it" was all he could muster.

And yet ... he texted you three weeks later, and did not respond to your reply. Libra indecision for ya! Why don't you just CALL HIM?! Tell him you like him but are getting mixed signals, and you want to know what's up. Yes, it's a risk (anathema to Taurus, I know), but it's the easiest way to stop torturing yourself. If he's not straight with you, take that into consideration when you continue pining for him.

Comment below: Have you known a Libra to turn cold? How do you make sense of it?

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Labels: astrology, libra

God, no!

Should you trust anyone on blind faith? Scorpio wouldn't. He'd hire a private investigator -- if he weren't a P.I. himself -- to dig up all the dirt that can be found on you. Incriminating photographs, phone records, IM chat transcripts. If no evidence springs up after a good days' work, he might trust you. But not on blind faith. There will always be that 1% suspicion that you covered your tracks like a pro.

Scorpio goes through the trouble because he knows -- all too well -- that people have secrets. Everyone's got a skeleton in the closet, man. A dark past. Shady connections. He's better than most at keeping his own indiscretions under wraps.

So there's your answer, bub. Only a dupe would trust a Scorpio on blind faith.

Comment below: How long did it take you to trust him?

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Labels: astrology, scorpio

For a Gemini, two is better than one. Does this mean that he won't be happy with just one girlfriend? Not necessarily. But I wouldn't put it past him to having roving eyes. For the sign of the Twins, variety is the spice of life.

To seduce a Gemini who has a girlfriend, you must first know how to seduce a Gemini. The same tips work. Unless he has Venus in a conservative sign or has a strong commitment-focused Saturn aspect, Gemini will feel quite tempted. Whether he bites is another matter.

Gemini is ruled by Mercury. The messenger planet does not live by a code of ethics. He is the most slippery astrologod in the solar system. Gemini may not think there's anything wrong with having two girlfriends.

In fact, there is nothing wrong with having two girlfriends, as long as both women are fully in-the-know and consenting. It's called polyamory. Unfortunately, not all signs can "swing" this. Scorpio, for example, doesn't like to share.

If his girlfriend hasn't given him carte blanche to date other people, then the ethical thing to do is stay away.

Comment below: Have you ever shared a Gemini with another woman? (And I don't mean at the same time!)

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Labels: astrology, gemini