Weekly Love and Sex Horoscope: December 17-23
On Tuesday, Venus in Scorpio trines Uranus. This is a complex aspect, for the love planet is pulled in two different directions. Transiting in Scorpio, Venus yearns to go deep, ploughing through fear and resistance to reach the core of intimate connection. Yet in aspect to Uranus, this goddess values her independence and seeks to break conventions in partnership. Uranus does not facilitate emotional closeness, threatening to disrupt Scorpio's plans to soulmerge. However, they have one meeting ground, and that's the taboo. Uranus likes to shock, and Scorpio is drawn towards socially unacceptable practices and people. Licking erotic flavors other than vanilla is a prerequisite to turn this aspect into a good time.Unfortunately, Capricorn is hosting a party for the next year, as Jupiter enters this sign on Tueesday. This is no wild bash. Everyone is required to wear formal attire. And you can't drink to excess or go skinny dipping in the pool.
Saturday hosts the Winter Solstice, when the Sun enters Capricorn and the days finally start to get longer. Venus squares Neptune today. As you celebrate the return of the Sun and dance around the tribal fire, you're likely to get romantically swept away, falling transcendently in love with that cutie near the bar. Even if you tea-total your way through the festivities, you still won't be sober while under the influence of Neptune. Any attractions now are subject to delusion and fantasy. When you wake up in a strange bed and wonder how in Jove's name you got there, don't say I didn't warn you.Also on Saturday, Mercury in Capricorn opposes Mars, still retro in Cancer. You will have serious thoughts about your dwindling sex life, and make a plan to turn the situation around. But Mercury moves fast, while Mars is nearly at a standstill. Your sex life will still suck, while Mercury tries to improve the bottom line somewhere else.
The Cancer Full Moon on Sunday conjoins Mars and opposes Jupiter. You become painfully aware that you're still not getting any action. Jupiter would ordinarily spur Mars on to take some stupid risks to meet someone, but both planets are in the signs of their "fall." Might as well sit this one out. The best you can do is sort through old family photos and have a good laugh at how silly your relatives look.
First photo by mogmismo, second photo by juliaklarman, both under CC license.
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posted by Jeffrey Kishner at 12/17/2007
15 Comments:
Jeffrey, these reports are going to drive me insane. What I gather is that on Saturday I should be nervous as Hell because my boyfriend who is in China is going to fall in love with someone he runs into!!!!
And he is Pisces, so if there is Neptune play, I am so screwed. This particular report has me looking at expedia for plane tickets so I can tie him to a....bedpost....until Saturday is over!
@Sagilarious, although your boyfriend is Neptune-ruled, I'd think that unless he has planets around 20 degrees fixed signs, the Venus-Neptune square won't necessarily impact him all that much.
Man, I don't need the moon and mercury to tell me I'm not getting any. Depressing!
What does this mean?? Is this horoscope for everyone?! How come you all know so much about this star study? I'm envious :(
@Confused Capricorn, this horoscope is for everyone. It will be more or less relevant for different people depending on how the planets interact with their natal charts.
I know so much about star study because I've studied for many years.
@Jeffrey I really hope so. I cannot read charts in the way you mentioned. He has a whole gang of planets in Scorpio and Sagittarius....actually almost the exact same gang of planets that I have in Sag and Scorp.
This 20-degrees business is way over my head. I am with the confused Capricorn on that one.
Either way, thank you for the chill pill....my possessive Scorpio-Venus needs those every other thirty seconds.
Ayla, it's about quality vs quantity. Save the good stuff for the right guy and keep your emotional bank account intact from risky investments. Some guys will approach you with a hard sell but you are wise to research their motivations before you get involved.
We GIVE, they GET. And when we run out, they run off. Many men are freeloaders, believing their sexual prowess is a satisfactory substitute for what women really want.
Choose wisely. They'll have their hands in your cookie jar, so fill it with the dispensable kind and keep the good stuff way up high in the cupboard, where only the worthy ones will venture.
If only it were that simple, Ms. Victoria. I think I'm actually filling the role of the man currently, slamming around the kitchen wondering where them cookies is at. My boyfriend is a traditional kind of guy and is hanging onto the last vestiges of his childhood faith in Catholicism. He's definitely uncomfortable about the prospect of sex before marriage, which I respect, and it's not like I'm about to run off to another guy because I'm not getting any. But put bluntly? Boy ain't puttin' out! Drives a girl crazy.
(I'm itching to try that Aries Mars of his out, too. Christ.)
Practising Catholics aren't keen on astrology, in fact he might consider you a witch of sorts (have you met his mother yet?) Since you're a sweet girl and very intelligent and gifted in the arts & science of the stars, is he a good match for the long haul? And if not, then why lead him on in this relationship--it's probably killing him to not let himself touch you, and you both should be of like mind and values to keep it a good thing. He may be a virgin, if he's a good Catholic boy. Please use your skills of seduction on a guy who can handle you! This one's an innocent man (ala Billy Joel)and you don't want to bear the stigma of being the woman who brought him to his ruin. Men can be sensitive creatures, and this will affect his future relationships and colour his view of women overall. Young love, first love, filled with sweet emotion. It's not your first, but it may be his.
And to Confused Capricorn, if you want to get your Scorpio man and it's not too late (which I suspect it is with this case, but you can try it on a future Scorp who fills you with obsessions) you need to have sex with him. It's that simple.
He wants to be seduced and satisfied. Scorpio isn't into games, we hate that, although we play them well. It's like inventing Monopoly and everyone is trying to figure you out on your own game. The last thing you want to do with them is play Monopoly already.
The best way to get a Scorp interested in you? Show up at his front door naked under a trenchcoat after midnight with a bottle of wine. Satisfaction guaranteed.
And make sure he knows he is the ONLY one you are performing for. Don't lie, they can spot a fib before it leaves your lips. Keep your cool and use your lips for what men love best--KISSING instead of TALKING.
victoria. I'm digging what you are saying about the cookie jar - when they are brave to go up high they are in for the best cookies they ever could imagine!! I have Venus and Mars in Scorpio and yup you are on the money there too.
Where dem cookies at?!?
how does me making an ass of myself play into this? i sent the guy i met and spent a romantic weekend with last week (after he's been in touch but unwilling to see me all week!) a text this morning at 5 am 'i can't sleep and am fucking horny, are you up for a romp?' augh! can anyone say bunny boiler?!
So . . . what happened?
So yes, I was wondering how in Jove's name.....and then I thought I would review this post, and went OMG why is it right? Grrrr.
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