Do Pisceans want what they cannot have?
From the comments section on Does a Pisces man ever end a relationship?Do pisceans have a tendancy to want what they cant have? then not want it when they think they can have it?Pisces is the dreamer, and for this sign, reality is always a letdown when compared to his fantasies. The sign of the Fishes is ruled by Neptune, planet of imagination, transcendance and delusion. Neptune is The Matrix, maya, the world of illusion. In the best sense, it is communion with God, where boundaries dissolve and one feels connected with everything in the universe. But most of the time, Pisces is the anti-Neo, swallowing the blue pill to remain in his delusion. He does not want to know stark reality.
The dirty secret about Pisces: He does not really want to be embodied. Pisces want to be Spirit, yet he's stuck doing dishes and suffering through his day job. It is only when he plays his guitar or smokes a joint or falls for a pretty girl that he escapes from the Hell of the Mundane. The pretty girl is his Muse, inspiring him to write, paint, dance or daydream. Anything but to endure another hour of Here and Now. (Although the enlightened Pisces finds beauty in the present moment, for he recognizes the divine in as mundane an activity as sweeping dust from underneath the kitchen table.)
When the pretty girl is unattainable, then Pisces falls even deeper for her, for then his dreams cannot be ruptured by her humanity. Pretty girls bleed and poop and get needy and irritable. That's no fantasy! Pisces is only called to create when his Muse is ethereal, when She summons him to reach to the heavens with his song.
So if the seemingly unattainable pretty girl starts giving off subtle clues that she's into him, Pisces retreats. He knows that if he gets to know her, her human flaws will be revealed, and he will lose his inspiration. Once she becomes real, the bubble has burst, and he will have to look for another pretty girl to fuel his fantasies.
It is a cruel cycle that never ends until he comes to peace with being on Earth.
Stumble It!
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posted by Jeffrey Kishner at 10/07/2007
28 Comments:
Dear lord, this is SO true. I spent 5 years in a relationship with a Pisces who had been in love with me since high school...except he was more in love with his idea of me than who I really was, and in true Piscean fashion kept trying to "help" me become all the "potential" he saw in me, when really I just wanted him to appreciate who I was.
Alas, we broke up 2 and a half years ago and he still isn't fully over me [I only know because in my silly Sagittarian optimism I keep expecting him to want to be friends].
:(
girls poop
why.
Just kidding. I once had a pisces being in love with me, though we never dated and don't even live in the same city. Why? I don't know. It truly confused me as a taurus, for I thought he wanted to start a relationship. I was confused for the whole year trying to make something out of it.
Also, he is always falls in love with some random girl he sees in restaurant or lindsey lohan. *sigh*
I completely agree with this. I was in a 1 year relationship with a Pisces and I a Scorpio. He was from Cameroon and I was a small town girl but we had this connect that wasn't just physical but spiritual and emotional, the best relationship of my life, he made me feel like a queen everyday. I want it to go further, he was unsure because of his traditional upbring so we ended it..well I tried to but he never stopped calling. I didn't complain of course b/c i loved the attention and 3 months later he moved away for a job. That was over a years ago as well and we still to this day will talk at least once (at least maybe more) a month and he always tells me how beautiful I am and how much he misses me, etc. etc. What is it about a Pisces that can make you melt by just breathing on the other line? lol We are still friends but if he was in the same room, i am sure 'friends' would be thrown out the window and quickly replaced with 'lover' at least thats what he says
I have a perfect Greek poem to describe this. I will return and share it with you all.
But, for now, Lord help me! Those Pisces!
And with my moon in Pisces, I feel as though this actually describes me very well too. I want want want him, then get him, and I am confused, thinking: wanting was part of wanting. Imagining what it would be like with you. Now you're here and I am probably gonna stumble like a Sag and screw it up in 3.2 seconds anyways, so get back into my fantasy (where I cannot screw it up) and outa my face please, you gorgeous, God-like heartbreak waiting to happen! grrr.
Is this a pisces male thing? Or are females similar?
My ex-girlfriend was a Pisces and we dated for about two years and all of that rings true, so I think it counts for girls just as much. Being a Virgo made it a bit more difficult since "reality" and the cold-hard-truth are things that I naturally tend to find refreshing.
It ended up being a contant run-around of me wanting the facts and her being unresponsive. I often felt she was just to uninvolved.
She also had (and still has) a habit of making me feel like I was important in her life and was an important person to her survival.
Then at other times did a complete opposite and left me feeling second hand. ;)
On a plus the connection at times was beautiful. It was very spiritual and emotional and we became close on a deeper level, despite our differences. The Virgo/Pisces relationship always feels like a "Can't live with 'em and can't live without 'em" situation. So sad!
I wish we could still remain friends but it feels like a part of the ability to communicate has been destroyed. Oh, Pisces. You're lovely but you frustrate me. :)
I don't know if I can completely agree with this but I have only dated one pisces and was in a serious relationship with another I have 3 very close girl friends that are pisces and I have not noticed them to be that neptunian way really, maybe its the way I interact with them. I am a scorpio and pisces relationship guy helped me to be grounded more than anything, it might be because I have neptune in my 12th house. The pisces relationship was wonderful romantic but then down to earth at times when we needed to be, we would write poetry to each other and never argued we had a nice you know I know kind of thing it even ended on good terms were friends for awhile until he moved out of the country.
It is a cruel cycle that never ends until he comes to peace with being on Earth.
As a Pisces, do you (Jeffrey or any of the other Pisces reading this) have any advice on how we who are attempting to engage with a Pisces might help them along this path?
Julie, This is what my girlfriend says: It takes a lot of patience, and that she rolls her eyes alot. She says I'm slow (!) and not quite on this earth. We Pisces are "in our own thing" and it takes an extra something to get through to us, and that you need to gently "spell things out." We do not respond well to overt pressure.
I'm glad somebody is willing to put up with me ;)
Thanks, Jeffrey. I'm sure you have qualities that more than compensate for any behavior that might provoke eye-rolling. :) I actually kind of enjoy the eye-rolling aspects of interacting with a Pisces.
We do not respond well to overt pressure.
This, unfortunately, I've already learned on my own.
This post makes Pisces sound somewhat like Aries, but the motivations are different. Whereas Aries likes the game of the chase and conquest, Pisces likes that feeling of yearning and never quite having. But it all amounts to the same thing - leaving someone with that feeling of having just fallen off a pedestal. Pisces just knows how to cushion the fall a bit better. God help the woman who's the object of a male Pisces with Venus in Aries' affection. ;)
Many of my relatives on my mom's side have planets in Pisces or a lot of Neptunian aspects. The patterns I've noticed (in both males and females) are:
1. Very philanthropic
2. Resourceful/lucky when it comes to making money
3. Marriages don't last, lots of relationships/children, remaining close with exes. They all enjoy being single but always seem to have someone chasing after them (ESPECIALLY my Pisces uncle who is a woman magnet).
4. Relationship ends when the ex kept pushing a relative to "realize your potential" (translation: let's exploit your financial resourcefulness or luck)
5. They help when you call, but otherwise leave you alone
6. Very non-judgmental
7. One group in particular likes to drink (a LOT), but they're always happy-go-lucky while under the influence.
8. Spiritual
9. Good at taking care of people (especially in old age)
10. Parenting motto is "live and let live" (or what I like to call an "Inspirational Parenting" style), where they care about whether you're a good person and then leave it at that. Not many rules.
11. No blood boundaries (considers exes, children of exes, etc. as part of the family, no concept of "half-sibling")
My Pisces Moon mom describes her Pisces Ascendant sister as someone who "likes to live in her dream world but knows she's living a dream (she also has Sun in Virgo). She can get along with you as long as you don't try to bust her dream bubble. If you do, she'll come out fighting. So we just leave her in there."
I've only had one relationship with a Pisces guy. We were fine while living in a world of planning (dreaming for him) and courting (yearning for him), but things went downhill once I started introducing some practicality into the mix with questions like "well, exactly how will that work?" I stopped seeing him as my artist-in-shining armor and more as a delusional guy. When I left our dream-state, that's when he started pulling disappearing acts. When his actions became unreliable like his words, I moved on. But sure enough, he kept calling for years afterwards telling me how much he loves me and blah blah. I think he did that because he knew it was too late, so let the yearning begin!
wow. this is so true its almost sad. I'm a pisces female and this happens everytime I think I like a guy. Darn reality and human foibles!
the more I come to this site... the more I realize that I am atypical of a Piscean in many respects...
sure, I yearn for the "seemingly unattainable pretty girl"... but, that PG certainly, and consciously extends the chase...
I've always been fond of saying that "I'm never her first choice, but will inevitably be choosen by her." ...so, I hang in to pop those warts
-->"Once she becomes real, the bubble has burst"...
This is a fallacy, too. I can accept her Achillies. My dream is likely to become a nightmare because I begin to probe. She won't like it when I sift through the debris in her head, let alone what may lie dormant in her soul.
You can blow more than one bubble with the same stick of gum. There are other characteristics that I will find, and describe as QUIXOTIC.
See, I may be looking for novelity in the old (my partner)... she may prefer external stimuli... (guess I need some Libra balance)...
I can see why Virgo would become frustrated at my sign.
Under this situation, the pedestal is more apt to crumble than from the conquest...
To Julie,
I think you're looking for a Piscean with Moon in Capricorn, or Taurus...
To Jeffrey,
as Spock would say, "Facinating!"... Patience for the patient who is always patient... ;-)
-->Response to "Overt Pressure"
...this is where I see incongruity with my genre
...now, I don't know if I am a product of "hard love" - a dad who is Sun Aries/Moon Sag, and mom who is Sun Libra/Moon Aries
...or if I'm afflicted with a chart with one too many squares, and detrimental planets
...but, I feed off tension ...welcome conflict ...survived the sting of Scorpio ...worked well for callous Ariens ...coasted down "the river" with the "poker players" of the zodiac like Sag, and Cap
lmao@Jara
God help the woman who's the object of a male Pisces with Venus in Aries' affection. ;)
...stop warning them about me
...with this aspect, I will freely admit that if my partner's thirst for action isn't as frequent as mine ...or if she doesn't have a "fertile" mind (pun intended) ...she won't be my Muse
I am a pisces female and upon reading this I believe most all of it to be quite true actually.
But I also have a funny story... I have been in a year and a half relationship with a Sag. And now I am wanting to be with another guy that is a Libra...??
I have been talking and flirting with him for ahwile now and last night I finally gave in and spent the night at his house...
But now...
I still want to see him...?
I still want to talk to him...?
He is still in my thoughts and my dreams and my daydreams..
he is just as a part of my reality as my fantasy world...
and yet it strikes me as odd because I usually seduce until the other is ready and then run like hell...
but not now?? Not last night...I stayed and now this is my reality...??
What does it mean for this pisces??
I am in pain because of this LIBRA...
why o why??
you are in pain my dear because you are a Pisces-- they like that
swimming upstream against all odds to spawn, or plumbing the depths of the deep blue sea
(love, pain the whole damn thing)
if you see a fish just floating on the water or sunbathing on the shoreline, rest assured he's dead
don't it feel good to be alive?
...
It just hurts so bad...
:(
wait..
:O
girls poop??
damn...
lol
:)
just being moody I guess...
I am cracking up "love to swim upstream - if a fish is just relaxing in the water it is surely dead." so funny
i am a pisces woman, definitely feel the - want the idea and not always the reality.
I just got out of a relationship with a Libra man and he drove me crazy always wanting to talk about everything instead of just being.
Now I am attracted to a Virgo - am I asking for trouble?
Out of the kettle into the frying pan . . .
Libra always wants to talk, so that you can listen and analyze them
Virgo always wants YOU to talk, so they can listen and analyze you
either way it can be exhausting
Find yourself a nice Scorpio man, they are generally abused and misunderstood by the rest of the population and will cherish and deeply appreciate your innate Piscean idealism and compassion in this regard
Plus you will probably strike a nice balance in the talking/listening exchange, for a change, and these lovely initimate engaging nebulous conversations about the mysteries of life love and the universe simultaneous serve as excellent aphrodisiacs for steamy sex
!!!
Oh my gosh! So True! I am a scorpio woman and was involved with a pisces throughout high school. we started of the best of friends, i could tell him anything and he understood, it was incredible! we started dating, i had to move but we stayed together, seeing each other when we could, talking on the phone each and every day.
come graduation, when we were supposed to be together finally, i found out he had been seeing a girl in his hometown. i absolutely hit rock bottom, i was so in love with him, oh my. basically i feel like he wasnt ready for a commitment or felt he was having to do something to move forward with me and wasnt ready.
we went our separate ways after many painful talks on the phone. There was a connection beyond a normal boyfriend/girlfriend situation and it was almost unbelievable. I totally feel like if he had me back like he says he wants he would for sure get sick of me in time and cheat on me again. I mean hes cheated on the girl he left me for so...
Its like a whole fantasy thing going on.
But i will say he is a charmer and can make you feel like you are the only thing in this world and that you cant live without him, and he is the only one that understands you, i was totally sucked into the ultimate Pisces man!
I'm a pisces girl and I couldn't disagree with this more. I hate the chase, once I get the fellow I couldn't be happier and I want nothing more than to bask in his presense and love him. I'm extremely loyal, understanding, and very forgiving. I do have a habit of escaping into my dream world of ideal things I'd like my lover to do or how I'd like him to be, but when those don't happen I don't just desert him. I'm grounded enough to know what's idealism and what's reality and try to be very fair about things. If I feel wronged, I may distance myself for a time but it's only so I can sort things out.
I'm a Scorpio currently going through a divorce from a Pisces man. We'd been together over 11 years. As I've analyzed what happened, why he decided he needed to move on when our first several years together were deliriously happy, part of what I realized is almost exactly what Jeff is saying about Pisces. They really do have trouble with the reality of who you are, and believe you will always be a muse and inspiration to them, and it's hard for them when you don't live up to that all the time. He even said at one point that maybe he was only in love with the idea of me. That hurt ... But I don't regret having spent so many years with him. Pisces are really beautiful inside. It's just hard to create the world they want to live in.
I am a Cancer woman and just broke it off with a Pisces man. I agree with "It is a cruel cycle that never ends until he comes to peace with being on Earth".
Our love was endless. He never left with saying I love you with a kiss that always felt 120% better than the last. We spoke without words sometimes. The love and deep bond we had with was something I never experienced with someone and is honestly, one of the things I look for in a man. Being a Cancer woman, there's nothing a like a Piscean's physical and verbal love. His advice and "worldly" words were beautiful, too. He was friendly to everyone I introduced him to and the best thing about that, he was genuine and sincere and REAL.
But, he didn't work and was in and out of jobs. He'd do things JUST to do them even though he felt it was unneccessary (when it really was neccessary) and was irresponsible a lot of the time. He'd set his obligations aside to escape from them until they got really bad.
He's been wanting me back. He calls and begs and says he needs me (but of course, I was there for him by his side through all the BS). But, the love dried out along with his irresponsiblity and lack of urgency.
He's truly a dreamer... until he gets to grip with reality, then hopefully he'll see why I had to end something that was so great in his eyes. But, of course, he didn't have to do much and didn't think he had to, anyway.
It's sad... but the truth about Pisceans... face reality, please... or you'll lose something so special in your life.
And the sad part, I tear or cry til this day thinking about the love we shared. The love with a Pisces can never compare, but his habit of escaping reality got in the way.
I agree with having the ideal image of the one I desire and then getting a bit disappointed when I see the flaws.
BUT.....I don't run and hide when I see those flaws insofar as they aren't destructive or along those lines.
And I don't make an escape once I get the one I want. Often, it is those who had shown me that they're attracted to me who run and hide when I've made myself available to them ( an Aries, a Gemini, a Taurus and a Libra). I lose interest in these cases only.
Flaws I can take but being wishy-washy is a great turn-off.
Far from wanting someone I can't have (why want the hurt ?), I always run away from someone I know I cannot have. I hate the yearning, and always wish for the resolution, for the time I can be with the one I love.
I do have my dream world and fantasies but I'm pretty much grounded on earth - main income earner for my family for 14 years, part-time social activist, avid environmentalist. For a Pisces, I think I'm pretty much on earth.
Maybe it's a combination of my signs ? Pisces Sun, Gemini Moon, Venus in Aquarius, Taurus Ascendant.
OMFG! wow, this almost made me cry cause It's true and I see it now, I see that I fall with the pretty girl, then everything that was said here, then I run to find something else until they find someone new, then I wish I could've done things differently and start to work up my charm then do it over and over and over again! OMG I need help :-(
OMFG! wow, this almost made me cry cause It's true and I see it now, I see that I fall with the pretty girl, then everything that was said here, then I run to find something else until they find someone new, then I wish I could've done things differently and start to work up my charm then do it over and over and over again! OMG I need help :-(
I'm with those Pisces who've said that while they do experience some disillusionment in relationships, they still stay in it for the long haul. I have a very dreamy, romantic Piscean nature and would love it if my relationships could be endless fairytales, but I have the grounding and common sense to know that's impossible, and I tolerate and forgive many flaws and offenses in the men I love.
Perhaps this is because I have a Virgo moon, which counters my idealistic nature with practicality. Whatever it is, I think I have a very healthy balance, which has always been extremely helpful in my relationships.
I read somewhere that Gemini & Pisces are like minnows and butterflies. Water sign & Air signs. I love that idea but do the two ever get together? I hope so. My "friend" male Pisces seemed to have swam away for a while & I am in pain missing him. Where is he? I am married and we had a three year flirtation that finally came to kissing a few weeks ago. Is the fantasy over?
I am a Pisces, I haven't had a ton of relationships, but I generally am not prone to flee when reality sets in. I do fit the characteristics of a Pisces, dreamy, not fond of practical things, retreating into dream worlds rather than living in reality. I am aware of my tendencies and am constantly re-evaluating my motives for what I why I want something, someone, etc. It is a strange combination of being very much insightful and having a good understanding of people and things others don’t see, yet the dream like illusion of my own making sometimes I fear may lead to a complete illusion, that has very little basis in reality. Especially in the people I am attracted to. In love everyone is blind, but we fish are almost more so. I can't always believe that anyone I like would actually like me on some level. This fear of rejection, getting hurt runs deep. This is probably due to my age and lack of experience, confidence, but is a constant struggle. I am pretty young and have a lot to learn. I often ask myself, am I only imagining this, is it real, or only fantasy? What I think I want, will it be what I want or whom I want when I get them? I think that being understanding and good at reading people and their needs, empathetic, helping people, at moments of crisis and seeing human flaws are beneficial. I do see people flaws quite easily and bull shiters, but I don't think that this is a bad thing. I am picky with who I like in romantic relationships and still see flaws, but because I know I do too and I want to get to know everything about this guy I like, that does not revolt me and cause me to flee on the spot, but I do need to tell myself, to rethink why I thought differently, and that it is not the end of the world. There are reasons why I am attracted to them, and was at first that are still there. It is okay to put someone on a pedestal, only if you know you are doing so, and that it is only going to dissolve once you get to know him or her. They can still be human and adored for the fabulous person they are. Vulnerability is often under many people’s fronts they put up. Everyone fears rejection. So don't be too harsh, until you know them. I want to know the flaws and the great stuff. They come in a package that includes the flaws. Because I want to know all of him, devour him, but let him be his own person. I think that is what is really important. Having your own life and being self-aware, reflective and sharing it with someone. I find it scary but an extremely strong desire. I don't think all Pisces are like what is above mentioned, wanting what they can't have to such an extreme degree, it varies and people are not all the same. I am loyal, even if sometimes people don't meet my standards. I have high standards and don't find people I am attracted to often. I take time to develop feelings, even if my attraction is immediate. I deficiently do like more of a take charge guy, that can pull me up out of the sea a bit into the sun, but not someone who will let me burn, or burn me.
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