Aquarius woman is puzzled by Pisces boyfriend
Miss Anxious Aquarius provided a birth time (click chart to view) and also asked her question in the Love Advice section of the forum. She writes,I have been going out with my Pisces boyfriend for nearly 7 months now. Lately, I can't get him to communicate. I tried being gentle and calm and appealing to his emotions but it's not working.Lucia G. has already offered some insight into your Pisces boyfriend's chart and how to approach the relationship. I'm going to write a bit about "timing." On September 26, the Aries Full Moon exactly conjoined your natal Venus in Aries. Venus is the planet of love and relationship, but it is even more significant in your chart. You have Taurus on your Descendant (or Seventh House cusp), which means you seek security and stability in your relationships. Venus is the ruler of Taurus, so it signifies your partner ... and it also sits in your Fifth House of Romance. During an Aries Full Moon, the spotlight shines on one's personal needs (in opposition to the needs of a relationship). One's own impulses take precedence, and inevitably there is a conflict, because meeting these needs requires one to compromise less in one's relationship. This Full Moon may have stimulated your boyfriend's antsiness. "All of a sudden, he wants to accomplish things, constantly wanting to stay home, not talking about his feelings, his temper is short, I can't get him to communicate." Other than the staying home part, this behavior sounds pretty Aries-like.
After a whole night of fighting he told me that he is not getting any younger and he needs 'space' to think. He knows he wants me and he is the luckiest man to have to me but right now he is scared of commitment. He also wants to test me to see if I'm the one for him.
He's confusing me, making me feel anxious, I told him to take all the time he needs and that I'm here. What is going on? What's with the temper? What's with the space? What's with the Pisces? What's with me?
In the forum discussion thread, you gave his birth time. As Lucia G. mentioned, he has Mars in Aries in his Seventh House. He can be very direct and assertive about meeting his needs in a relationship, and yet he's also got a lot of wishy-washy energy, with Libra Rising and Sun square Neptune. A few weeks after the Full Moon, the Libra New Moon on October 11 opposed his Mars from his First House of Individual Needs. (Mars is also the ruler of his Seventh House, with Aries on the cusp). This highlighted the tension between his need to please you versus his need to do what he wants to do. (Or maybe he feels overpowered by your direct expression of your needs, as his Mars symbolizes his partner.)
Aries is not the most commitment-friendly sign, as it does not want to be held back from acting on its desires, however they may impact others. These recent lunations have been activating the Aries love/sex planets in both of your charts.
Pluto shakes up your boyfriend's entire sense of self (Sun) over the next year, and will make a 90-degree square to his Seventh House cusp early 2009. He's going through the wringer, and much of his orientation towards home, family and relationships will be torn down in order to be rebuilt on a more authentic level. Only time will tell if your relationship survives this restructuring.
Comment below to offer Miss Aquarius feedback, or respond on her discussion thread.
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posted by Jeffrey Kishner at 10/16/2007
4 Comments:
I have to say that I think this guy is doing the "weasel dump." He wants out, and he's doing a gradual, subtle dumping in order to do it.
Sorry to say this, Miss A, but I think you need to break up with him if he's pulling this crap on you. It sounds like it's in his nature AND in his transits, and you're likely to lose either way.
I commented in the forum about this, but wanted to add that when a guy says stuff like "I don't deserve you" in a sad way, it usually means "Please dump me so I don't have to hurt your feelings". (However, if he has that look of awe in his eye when he says it, then this is a good thing.)
Unfortunately, this is a Pisces staple. A friend of mine got dumped this way by a Pisces who "felt confused, needed space, and really cared a lot about her." Two weeks later, he was in a serious relationship with his ex that dumped him a year prior.
The lady said, "I tried being gentle and calm and appealing to his emotions but it's not working."
Well I guess not. What emotions? He's an Aquarius ;)
The nice thing about Aquarius is they don't get mad in a loud way. The nasty thing about Aquarius is they don't respond at all sometimes, to anything. They're rather dry, really, like the air in Arizona.
Oops! Stymied again. Roles were reversed, pardon my error.
He certainly feels emotion deeply and is adept at confusion and clouding the issue (very Pisces) while it is the lady here who is trying to be gentle and calm in dealing with the situation (very Aquarius).
But I don't get how being calm and gentle fits in with "a whole night of fighting" -- it takes two to have a fight, so perhaps the arid Aquarius wind was blowing a little too fiercely for comfort?
It is interesting to witness how an unassuming stoic Aquarius can pull it off so calm cool and collected yet stir everyone around them into fits of frenzy, and then wonder why.
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