Why does a Capricorn fall out of love?
People fall in love, they fall out of love. The clouds of fantasy eventually fade away, leaving nothing but the reality of your lover's best and worst traits. If you don't like the "what is" of your partner, were you ever in love in the first place, or were you just in love with the image you created?A Capricorn man seems the least likely of any other Sun sign member to delude himself. After all, he is ruled by Saturn, the reality principle. If Cap doesn't fall in love until he's made a measured assessment of his partner-to-be, then he's unlikely to have acted impulsively on the basis of unconscious projections.
So, if not disillusionment, what is the source of Capricorn's heart-retreat? This man may not be as cold and calculating as he is reputed to be, but he nonetheless has his own pragmatic way of making life decisions. We often fall out of love when either we or our lover have changed (or not). A Capricorn man prefers slow and steady growth, so he may be turned off by a partner's radical deviation from what he's come to rely upon. Could it be that the withdrawal of his partner's support -- so that he or she can climb their own mountaintop -- results in the passing of a cold wind through Cap's chest?
To a Capricorn, is love more than feeling that your one-and-only helps you rise to partner in the firm?
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posted by Jeffrey Kishner at 8/06/2007
25 Comments:
I'd like to know the answer to this question, too, because I have no clue how Capricorns operate. I was "talking" to a Capricorn last year and he was so quiet (which unnerves me a bit). He would tell me I'm funny, yet NEVER laughed. I didn't feel like we were getting to know each other at all with all of the silence, yet he would act kinda possessive. He never even made it past my phone screen to an actual date because we couldn't get on the same page. He remains a mystery to me.
Any Cappys wanna help clear this up?
I'm biased about Cappies now, so I'll say only that I think that they are able to decide when to stop loving depending on the circumstances...
...or I just don't have a better explanation...
Hmm. Well, I'm not a Cappie but maybe it's not so much that they decide to stop loving but that they decide to withdraw from a relationship in spite of loving the person. It sounds cold but think of the number of people who truly love inappropriate persons and who stay in terrible relationships bc they love those people. A Capricorn wouldn't do that (maybe?). And in that light, I wish I were a little more Capricorn. So, imo, one thing is the emotion, the other thing is what we choose to do with hit. Look at it with a different emotion: anger.
We've all been angry, right? And we've all had violent revenge fantasies. But few of us have gone so far as to indulge in them. We just let that anger cycle through or we channel it into something else or we let it go or whatever. We don't all necessarily repress that anger but neither do we let it drive our action into what we really want to do. A Capricorn can just do that with love but that doesn't mean that he stops loving. See where I'm coming from?
I'm Here:)
I can answer this as a person who has been in serious LIKE and fallen out of it.
Why does a Capricorn fall out of love??
The person who you adore [yes I have adored] does or says something you feel is improper. Somewhere in your mind you’re thinking damn I knew it was too good to be true.
[Truth be told-I need to give people more chances] But as I type, I’m thinking give WHO another chance to do WHAT! Or maybe this person is just content with existing-we caps need adventure [although one might not think it] it loosens us up! Another thing that makes me fall out of like is if you feel sorry for yourself all the time and never doing a thing to improve your situation, 2 examples: 1st -old boyfriend complained a lot about life but did not make a move to improve it-I stopped respecting him and once that goes it’s the relationship is over. The 2nd is about myself-I have a job but I want a career and I was scared to move forward but now I make sure I associate with those who have my wanted career and network like crazy- I did not like myself for being scared! I am very self deprecating…
And Jeff we can be deluded, anyone can.
@ Blah, Maybe he was quiet b/c he was making sure you’re someone he would like to get to know better. And we have a dry sense of humor, why he never laughed:(...I don't know. Maybe he was trying to play cool [obviously he messed that one up]
@exblue, We still love Cancers:)
@ eme kah, cappies will and have fallen for inappropriate persons and then later beat themselves up b/c they fell for the bull.
Violent revenge fantasies! I always feel so bad about the devious plans I concoct in my head but never follow thru with [my conscious would kill me]!
*side note* I have smart friends but I used to be the one they came to so their plans could be perfected!
Cappy Lady, of course anyone can be deluded. Don't you think, though, that a Cap will be a little more grounded? By the way, I notice that you have Mars conjunct Neptune ... which is "good" for being deluded about men :)
Cappylady, I think you're right about Cappy's (Cappie's?) ability to fall for the wrong person. I know a Cappy that had a very unhealthy relationship with this Aquarius. She just couldn't seem to shake him (and didn't want to, honestly). I didn't understand her taking him back over and over again after he did some really foul stuff to her. By the way, her Venus is in Aquarius. For the past several years, though, she's been with another Cappy, who she is giving up on because he's not taking his responsibilities seriously. They just had a baby together (a Cancer hee!) and she said she's about fed up with him. Personally, I think she is too forgiving and understanding of people and they take advantage of her (she has Moon in Pisces). Every time she tells me a story about these guys she's with, it makes me so angry. I just wanna go kick some...well, you know...on her behalf.
Even Capricorns can fall in love with an "inappropriate" person, but I don't think that person will manage to hold onto the Cappy over the long run. With her, she falls out of love once the cons start outweighing the pros. It just takes a long time for her to recognize the "con" in being with a con-artist.
And thanks for the insight into the Cappy guy. It never occurred to me that he might've been trying to play it cool.
@ Jeff, More grounded yes but not exempt-[Capricorns have been known to fancy…] the best of them can take the bait and/or be deluded. [everybody plays the fool] “I notice that you have Mars conjunct Neptune ... which is "good" for being deluded about men :)” Not only have I been deluded I have set my myself up for disappointment. It's all a learning lesson. Sometimes I like to sit back and watch the games people run on me, themselves and others
God, I used to know a Leo Sun, Cancer rising, Cap moon woman who was even blinder than I am about men. It was something to behold. She would deny deny deny that a man was using her when it was clear to one and all that he was. I think it was the Leo Sun but I thought the Cap Moon would help ground her. She was worse than me, though (and I've got a Pisces Moon).
I could give so many reasons. I believe I will wait till Venus does her retreat. I've been feeling the tug of old ghosts and ignoring them for the most part. But this topic is on point with the thoughts I've been having.
Cappy Lady, I wonder if you're having the same feelings? You and I seem to move along the same wave.
I will say this for me and any relationship. If I am betrayed in any, that person is surgically removed from my heart. They cease to exist for me.
Otherwise, I am pretty easy to get along with. I am loyal to the point of stupidity.
JMR, what does it usually take for your loyalty to break (if ever)?
Jara, for me it's very painful when I find out a friend has said things behind my back. I am pretty black and white about my feelings. If you are a true friend you know me well enough to know that I will come straight to you if I have issues, and only you. I don't run it around to everyone else.
Also, in the case of my ex. He was always amazed at how I stood behind him. I never criticsized him or belittled him. I would tell him he could do whatever it was he wanted career-wise, as long as it was what he really wanted. He never gave me the same consideration. In fact, I realized over the years how many times he would say things to belittle me, it hurt and I felt betrayed by his lack of standing behind me.
I realize now much of it was born out of his lack of. I could accomplish so much more than he did. It many ways he was jealous of the successes I had acheived, though I never rubbed it in his face or belittled him. I remained optimistic.
Finally I just took one insult too many and walked away for good.
I imagine, if I were with a man and found out he had cheated on me that would be a betrayal to me as well. When I am in a relationship I am up-front and make sure they understand it is exclusive ot I walk. Truthfully, I tend to do the walking. I am sure there is a reason for it. One I have yet to let myself analyze.
So it's fair game if anyone can see why in my chart.
Boy, this topic struck a chord with me LOL
I apologize for the typos. I promise to proof read my posts from here on out LOL
Capricorns in love and Capricorns out of love.
Capricorns in love- yes we do size up our partners to be, making sure we are not being tricked or just a quick fling. We play it cool in the start to the middle. I remember that's what happened to me and my Cancer. I played it cool for 3 mons [I PAID A HEAVY PRICE FOR IT, I STILL PAY] because I could see they had no tact to themselves and I could watch everything go up in flames because they would tell about our private lives. That made me back down abit; slow down. They were dating someone else when we met 5 mons from 1st talking to each other. Alot of my notions were right about them and alot were wrong. They kept alot of lovers around which I hated because you could never tell who they were true to. So I waited in the back to find out my place with them. ...
But I was giving you a background to say we must have respect for you to love you, we must be able to trust you to give your our heart, and we have to be meaningful/needed by you (at least for me anyway). We don't like being another number to you.
I'm not one given to affairs- if I love you; I LOVE YOU and that's it.
I think most Caps are like that but I've met some that are not.
Capricorns out of love-
because we don't respect you anymore, to much pain and hurt, to many games and tricks, they are not stable. Trust is gone. You can be moody as ever as long as all of those are intact- we will still be in love with you.
Yes we do have a tendency to pick the bad ones, to be deluded. But I think that happens because we have to much faith in the ones we love. We think one day with will come around (due to our over abundance of patience). Also because it will happen because they have not broken any of the rules we have on our list (Caps list can vary) they may have bent them- but not broken. So that's why some Caps will stay in bad relationships.
"Also because it will happen because they have not broken any of the rules we have on our list (Caps list can vary) they may have bent them- but not broken. So that's why some Caps will stay in bad relationships."
This about sums it up.
I'd like some thoughts on a Capricorn + Capricorn relationship. Can it work?
Thank you.
On a Cap + Cap.
Though many say it's a good match, I'd say different. I'd say it's 50/50.
It could be great perfect, wonderful or down right CRAZY.
The bad notes. They both could be way to competitive with each other They will know each other well and will know how to push the others buttons. Their relationship could be cruel. Though Caps HATE games played by other signs and have low tolerance for them. These two would play games with each other just to see who comes out on top or plays them to make SURE they are the ones to come out on top. LOTS of stubbornness- unwilling to move on subjects or plans they don't agree with. This would be the bad nature of the two together.
The good notes. They would both understand each other very well. Have loads of respect for the other. Highly devoted and a very sexy (steamy) relationship (though the outside world may or may not see it. We are pretty private. IF they two have the same goals and focus (and are not stubborn with each other) and work well together (which they should most of the time) they will become a team that is unstoppable and unrivaled in anything they set their mind to.
They will be the couple you move out of the way for because it would be suicide to try and go against them.
i am a capricorn , and for all the girls and else that try to guess why or how we fall in love , or retreat suddenly of a relationships, there is
only one word , according to me and the other capricorns that i know: fear.
we are idealistics to a extreme that we prefer to kill our dreams rather than living in dissapointment , and especially in love , we dont trust in no one, but when that special one comes , we
have the ultmost fear , because we cannot hold our feelings , and if we fail , the despair and depression that will come will be so damn strong that it can kill us , or kill one part of us.
We can love , we desperately seek for it , but we have so much fear that it will go wrong that often we
prefer to leave. For been with a cap you need patience for overcoming his or her fears , that are very real for us , most of the time more than anything.
@ Skynetpuma...
Very true, often we are so scared to achieve what we so desperately hope for because we know once we're in, we're in for a long time. And yes the fall can be soul wrenching as we can only handle so much emotional overkill, if any.
Passive aggressiveness is usually the route I, as a Cap sun, take when falling out of love, but my Aries moon makes it feel like it's always bubbling under the surface. Emotions are not easy for us to handle, especially when they turn sour. Either way, a love relationship is certainly more of a gamble than a dreamy, fantastical ride. The reality of the downfalls of falling out of love are always conscious to us.
This can make it a lot harder to enjoy it while it's happening.
@ JMR, "I will say this for me and any relationship. If I am betrayed in any, that person is surgically removed from my heart. They cease to exist for me."
I find this a pattern as well for Caps. It's the easiest way to stop the feeling and move on. Not only that but it usually works if we're looking at it on a progressive level- if there's no reason to stay, then there's no reason to acknowledge the emotions. This can create a lot of baggage but not if the Cap can handle it effectively.
So yes, exclusion.blue... it does depend on the circumstances, sometimes almost as much as the love interest themselves.
I am a cap (with alot of sag tendencies) and I can tell you that caps --especailly the males-- are emotionally slow moving in relationships. They tend to lack patience though, when they feel physical attraction. (Most cappie males are rather pervy when it comes to sex...lol) So, they may move to have sex with you, but then give you a bit of the cold shoulder, "we are still growing as friends" deal afterward.
Though I have read that caps have a great sense of humor, I have met VERY few who laugh at anything! The women are alot more open, but getting them to laugh will win you points because they are very critical. And for goodness sake, don't make them the object of your joke...ugh
Oh, but back to the love thing. Cap men don't stop loving, they just stop feeling secure. They will give a partner several chances to uphold to their sense of standards in a relationship, but if that partner is too bolsterous, or exhibits a little too much passion outside of the home or in public, or if they are messy, caps will RUN for the exit. They tend to be the type that is done, once they are done! If they need to see you every so often, they WILL be polite, but you will feel the cold. Caps love deeply, passionatly, but they do not want to be rushed, and they do not want to be let down. Do either of those things, and you WILL loose all your points.
Hi everyone,
I'm an analytical, practical Virgo with a very outgoing Leo personality and strong creative, imaginative tendencies. I recently started dating a Capricorn man who is 8 years older than me (very structured, very successful, very hot/cold). The age difference isn't an issue for me, but I find it difficult to read this Cappie when he is not fully relaxed. (Physical situations seem to relax him and allow him to show more of his good self, the side I want to keep seeing.)
Despite my accomplishments, ambition, and own seriousness, I'm trying to be playful with him. I'm usually really good at getting people to lighten up, but he's difficult. How can I get him to feel more secure with me, more relaxed? I'm naturally affirming, but his dry sense of humor throws me off a bit.
It's still very early, but I can't tell whether he's playing games by varying his coldness/distance (which make me feel defensive and guarded, thereby stifling my naturally warm self and causing me to turn self-critical), if he's just not interested, or if I need to be more patient.
At what point do Caps stop mixing signals and make it clear they are interested in a legitimate way? Help?
Also, how do Caps feel about women taking initiative? We both believe in hard work and making an effort.
Any advice for a Virgo woman who's beginning to date a Cap man?
Thanks!
Virgo Girl
Why does a Cap fall out of love;
-- we gave you dozens of chances to live up to your words, but you fail us time and time again. Once we are no longer able to believe the words coming out of your mouth, it is over.
-- you talk a good game, but we see no action. If you cannot back up your words, then shut up. We do not respect talkers unless they back up the talk with action. Remember, Capricorns value concrete things not vague chatter about dreams and ideas (which are good, but not if they never take form)
-- you cheat. Most caps are too busy to stalk or otherwise track you down, check your cell phone or your e-mail, question you about lunch with so and so or why you work so late (because we are always working ourselves). But the day we find out that you have cheated, more likely than not, that is the day that the relationship ended (even if it lingers on for a few more months, our feelings will probably have died on the date of discovery of said affair). In order to love, we must trust and respect you. If you lie to, or cheat on us, we cannot respect or trust you. Dunzo.
-- you are lazy. Well, frankly, if you are lazy, we probably would not fall in love with you to begin with. But assume that your lazy butt got by our screening process, and we determine said laziness later, and you do nothing about it, then we cannot respect you.
-- you are too non-traditional. No matter how liberal we are politically, we still like some traditional values. We want our men to be men. Cappie women are strong but we like to be taken care of (but not bossed around). Confident, not dominant. Confident but not cocky. If you want to be a house-husband, then forgetabout it. Even if we earn 5 times more than you, you need to give us the feeling that you are contributing in a more traditional way.
-- Yes -- we do fall for the inappropriate guy sometimes and how we beat ourselves over the head about it! But generally, Caps want a guy/gal that they are proud of. This means that they will wait for years for the right person. Years, I tell you. Years. If you don't make him or her look good, then you won't be seen in public with the Cap. He/she may hang out with you privately, but you won't be taken to the work functions or the family get togethers. Sounds crappy, but it is pretty much true.
-- You work too much. They do as well, but if Cappies like you, they will make the time to spend with you. So if they are making the time when all they are worried about is what the heck is going on at work, you had better too.
-- Finally -- You don't respect TIME. Maybe its the Saturn "Father Time" bugaboo that hamstring Caps, but they are obsessed with time, the use of it, the waste of it, the passage of it, the things that can be done with it. You can make more money, but you cannot make more time. Once Time passes, it is gone. They are careful because they are hyper aware of this and don't want to enter a relationship that wastes time. If Caps sense that you are not not going in the same direction in the relationship, they will leave you eventually, even if they are in love with you. Why --- the loss of time.
Hope that this was helpful, even if a bit harsh.
To the person above, you summed it up nicely. I agree 100% I often tell those that I am in a relationship with that I don't like my time to be wasted. People may find us difficult, but all its takes is observation of our behavior, patience, and respect.
Cappy Lady, I swear you could be my Ex, lol. I still don't know the real reason she ended things, but I know she's ended previous relationships at the drop of a hat...usually as a result of something said that was improper...and with her its one storke and your out. she gave her reasons, but none made real sense, at least when taken in the contect of our "in-love" relationship. Guess my lesson learned is to really, REALLY, analyze what cappy's are saying and take it to heart...sad though, I really wished you cappy's would give us at least a second chance :(
I'm a Capricorn woman & quite honestly I'm tired of all this bad rep my sign gets about being all business and cold/calculating etc. I think we are far more sensitive and caring than most people suspect, although it may not always show on surface right away. Those who are patient and show genuine interest in getting to know us, will find us to be very loyal, & loving. We don't wear our feelings on our sleeves, but that does not mean that we don't have any. So my point is that a Capricorn falls out of love for the same reason that any other human being is likely to fall out of love i.e. lack respect, lack of love, under appreciation, being taken for granted, abused, taken advantage of, cheating, lack of trust etc.
im aries ascendant gemini moon in gemini venus acquarius. some friends present me a capricorn man who was immediatly in admiration , asked for my fone number and invite me to dinner for the next week end. we spoke a lot and he said that this year he feels some fun in his life and he's dating some different women as he was serious in the last 10 years . i explain that im not intereste to pure physical relation and as i brokup recently with a long term relation myself , i look for friendship actually till i will be ready foor something else. i saw that he likes everything in me but that didn't avoid him to admire every beauty who paseed in the restaurant.
for on week i did hear anything . in the week end he calls twice,i missed the calls, so he message me : did you forget me? i want to see you this weekend. i want to direct him on something deeper than a physical desire, i like his personality but i dont know how to deal . i know our signs are incompatibles so any cappys can help?
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