Loving an Immature Leo
Jara aka BlahBlah writes for 'Seduction Central' on Saturdays. (Thanks, Jeff!)
Leos can bring endless amounts of fun and romance into a relationship. They can also be passionately generous with their hearts, time, energy and money. But what if your Leo isn't resembling any of this sign's typical positive traits? What if your Leo likes to play mind games, is stingy (or worse, hot and cold) with his or her affections, dishonest or disloyal? If this is the case, then you're in love with an immature Leo.
An immature Leo is one of the hardest signs to deal with in love, because when things are good, they're soooo good that it almost makes it worthwhile to put up with the more difficult aspects of the immature Leo's personality. They are usually very charming, which they can use to persuade you to see the pros of giving them their way all the time. However, this is the exact opposite of what will help them grow up and learn how to consider others in love. Like their astrological representation, the Lion, they believe themselves to be the Kings (or Queens) of the Jungle. When you cater to this belief, the immature Leo will take advantage and get stuck in the "Gimme, 'cause I deserve it" mode. They will take everything you have to offer and still want more. Nothing you do will ever be enough to convince them you are the love of their lives. The more insecure a Leo is, the more arrogant and inconsiderate he or she will act.
Ironically, the only thing this kind of Leo will respect (or respond to) is someone who has the courage to walk away. They may initially view your walking away as a sign that you don't love them enough, but eventually they will come to respect you for not taking anymore of the crap they know they've been dishing out to you. (Because they're very aware of how to leave a good impression, Leos know when they're mistreating someone. Sidenote: RUN, don't walk, if your Leo doesn't care at all that he or she is disappointing you.)
As Leo's partner, you might have come to expect that Leo won't be able to survive without the daily doses of Vitamin A (affection), Vitamin C (compliments), Vitamin D (devotion) and Vitamin E (excitement) they've come to depend on from you. However, even immature Leos are very self-sufficient when left to their own devices. Either they will find someone else who will enable their "me, me, me" attitude or they will learn how to depend on themselves to get what they want. Doing the latter will help them gain the confidence that will bring out the generosity, loyalty, and lovableness that mature Leos already possess. While it will always be important to Leos that others admire them, a sign of Leo's growing maturity is that they can recognize their own sunshine regardless of whether there's a moon (i.e. you) around to provide a reflection.
When you're feeling the urge to shower your immature Leo with more love, just remember that cats always land on their feet. And if they don't, they have 8 more lifetimes to learn how...
What kind of Leo are you? How have you dealt with an immature Leo? Have you seen an immature Leo become mature?
Leos can bring endless amounts of fun and romance into a relationship. They can also be passionately generous with their hearts, time, energy and money. But what if your Leo isn't resembling any of this sign's typical positive traits? What if your Leo likes to play mind games, is stingy (or worse, hot and cold) with his or her affections, dishonest or disloyal? If this is the case, then you're in love with an immature Leo.
An immature Leo is one of the hardest signs to deal with in love, because when things are good, they're soooo good that it almost makes it worthwhile to put up with the more difficult aspects of the immature Leo's personality. They are usually very charming, which they can use to persuade you to see the pros of giving them their way all the time. However, this is the exact opposite of what will help them grow up and learn how to consider others in love. Like their astrological representation, the Lion, they believe themselves to be the Kings (or Queens) of the Jungle. When you cater to this belief, the immature Leo will take advantage and get stuck in the "Gimme, 'cause I deserve it" mode. They will take everything you have to offer and still want more. Nothing you do will ever be enough to convince them you are the love of their lives. The more insecure a Leo is, the more arrogant and inconsiderate he or she will act.
Ironically, the only thing this kind of Leo will respect (or respond to) is someone who has the courage to walk away. They may initially view your walking away as a sign that you don't love them enough, but eventually they will come to respect you for not taking anymore of the crap they know they've been dishing out to you. (Because they're very aware of how to leave a good impression, Leos know when they're mistreating someone. Sidenote: RUN, don't walk, if your Leo doesn't care at all that he or she is disappointing you.)
As Leo's partner, you might have come to expect that Leo won't be able to survive without the daily doses of Vitamin A (affection), Vitamin C (compliments), Vitamin D (devotion) and Vitamin E (excitement) they've come to depend on from you. However, even immature Leos are very self-sufficient when left to their own devices. Either they will find someone else who will enable their "me, me, me" attitude or they will learn how to depend on themselves to get what they want. Doing the latter will help them gain the confidence that will bring out the generosity, loyalty, and lovableness that mature Leos already possess. While it will always be important to Leos that others admire them, a sign of Leo's growing maturity is that they can recognize their own sunshine regardless of whether there's a moon (i.e. you) around to provide a reflection.
When you're feeling the urge to shower your immature Leo with more love, just remember that cats always land on their feet. And if they don't, they have 8 more lifetimes to learn how...
What kind of Leo are you? How have you dealt with an immature Leo? Have you seen an immature Leo become mature?
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posted by Blah Blah at 8/25/2007
52 Comments:
As a leo, I really enjoyed reading this post. Especially the part where you stated ...
"Ironically, the only thing this kind of Leo will respect (or respond to) is someone who has the courage to walk away. They may initially view your walking away as a sign that you don't love them enough, but eventually they will come to respect you for not taking anymore of the crap they know they've been dishing out to you." ..
I really have considered someones 'walking away' as not loving me enough. My reasoning? Because if you really love someone as much as you say you're willing to stick it out. Because there will always be issues ... etc and so on
In reality, it's the one who did walk away that I ever considered changing for (even groveling for forgiveness in typical leo dramatic fashion)
This bad behaviour is not typical of me now. I'd like to think that I have become a mature Leo at the age of 32. I was more prone to this bad behaviour as a teenager. Because once you realize people can be swayed it becomes addicting lol But like you said, it's not always healthy to give in to a leo who behaves this way (or anyone). To be honest, sometimes I would argue a point just to see if I could win. Which has now evolved into just enjoying a good debate every now and again. : )
Anyhow, interesting post. Thank you.
WOW!!! I JUST posted a little blog about my LEo. He had me for a long time and reading this post just confirms what I was being told but was not willing to admit. And just like you said when you try to walk away they make you think you dont love them. Just last night I was told I never loved him, and that I wont change...when in actuality I changed ALOT for him. I fially dont care anymore. I mean I LOVE that man and always will...but I cant deal with him anymore. He has been threatening to leave my life and delete me from his phones (which I know he wont(, and last night I finally told him I wont stop him. Ive moved on to a cappy man that respects me and makes me happy. Not that im dating him, but were simply flowing.
Wow im so astonished about this posting..check out my blog about my leo man..its called hurt aries woman/ nonunderstanding leo man.
Its so bad...I dont think I could be with that man ever again. How could a leo say he loves you, yet could abuse you like that?
wait im not anonymous....Im from seduction central too but my name didnt post above lol
Ok im like beyond the bigest dummy..Jara im JUST realizing this is your blog lmaooooo! Can we all agree I need jesus right about now lmao!
Hi Mysteri. A minor (yet major) correction: Seduction Central is Jeffrey Kishner's blog. I'm a guest writer on Saturdays.
P.S.
You inspired this entry about Leos.
And thanks, hazy3. I'm glad you enjoyed the post.
HOLY SMOKES! Im married to an immature leo. He is 47 and still behaves like a 14 year old. Ick. Ive left 3 times. Long boring story.
Now I just live my life as I wish. He lives his.
This post has been removed by the author.
Oooh Scorp...the fact that you left three times is almost as interesting as the fact that you came back three times...are you sure you are Scorpio? Then again...Scorpios have that "through Hell and breakfast", or however the saying goes, thing.
Jara!!! OMG, this is cool. You got in here....um....wow! I just wanna say, remember me cause I knew you when you were just a normal reader like all of us! grrr. I want your autograph :)
Erm, you know I want the Picses blogs...I want this one: how to make them do whatever you want....jk ;) I think what we really need is "how to stop a raging Scorpio from trying to control everything" (I am accusing myself of being the raging Scorpio, so no one get mad!) *And the people who don't know me, yet read my name, are now intensely confused: the Sag who thinks herself a Scorpio*
ok i don't love an immature leo,
but i know a couple of immature MALE leos who are childish in their ways.
for example,
i have a friend who's 27 and immature, everything he does is based on what HE feels and he doesn't care abt how his actions affect everyone else. a lot of people have walked out on him, and all he says is "i don't care it's their loss". sounds like an immature leo, doesn't it?
i am a leo myself, but i have no freaking idea why he does things like this. i don't tolerate it, i just let it be. when he gets pissed at something, he'll vent it out on me. i'll just listen and ignore him, and at the end of the day he'll be "i don't understand it, you're a Leo, how could you take all this from me without flinching? i have deep respect for you."
:p
of course, the other immature Leo is my dad. He finds it hard to believe that i never have lied to him about anything, and because of that, he deduced and comes to a conclusion that i lie about everything. Also, when he's mad at me, he sulks in his room and locks the door, and he refuses to talk about it. And he refuses to talk to me for a week or two. And it'll always have to be me who breaks the ice, occasionally he'll break the ice by asking me where im gg at 7am in the morning when it's obvious i'm gg to school.
*shrugs*
nice amusing article, this is.
Ahahahaaahahhaahh!
My Dad is an immature Leo as well :D
When we fight he doesn't want to talk to me either... and then calls just to tell me that he called first!
:)
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!! I have searched the web for days trying to see what was going on with my leo, who wasn't fully comparing up to the "Mature Leo" I now have found the answer(s)! I have not call my fiancee back for 8 days after an arguement we had. I have always given in to him and he takes if for granted. I love him and belives he loves me, but I find him to always take my loving him for weakness. Now, my question is with him being so sturborn..as most Leo men are...how many days shall I wait before moving on. I mean its like I dont want to give up, but I an only wanting him to see what he has been doing. Can anyone help me with this question. When will he most likely respond to me not calling him back...We had this happen before several times, but I usually am the one who gives in...We have been dating for 2years and 4months. He knows me like a book. I just want to be taken seriously or I suriously going on with my life...Can anyone help? Oh, he put his brother up to call me after the 5th day(who never calls just out the blue like that or at all just to say hi) which is the longest I've waited before breaking down and calling him... Please anyone who can shed light on what are the probabilities and about how long it will take if he gonna call and be an Mature Leo....If he will at all.
Angellover, your Leo is definitely exhibiting signs of being a spoiled MAN (not just a LEO). You've established a pattern of giving in, so now that's his expectation. It's good that you're taking some time away from the relationship after the argument to reflect (and not calling him gives him time to reflect as well). Because you've changed the pattern of your behavior, your fiance is now changing the pattern of his behavior. He knows something is wrong and is reaching out (although in a sly way) by sending his brother in as messenger (I'm sorry, that's funny).
I can't predict when your Leo will call you, but it will probably be relatively soon since the messenger brother is step 1 in his "Mission: Find Out What's Wrong" plan. I hope you have the stamina to wait out your Leo maturing, because this process can take a looooong time (and mostly comes from them losing something important to them). If you're committed to making this relationship work, plan on altering your thinking to include yourself into the equation. "Giving in", as you say, will only encourage his current behavior. However, if Leo senses you are not calling to "win" this argument, your Lion will dig in his paws and NEVER apologize (as he will see this as "losing", something Leos don't like to do at all).
If I were you, I would continue not calling him. However, when/if he calls, be very pleasant yet firm about your position within the argument. Since Leo is a positive sign that responds very well to positive reinforcement, try to concentrate on finding a solution to your argument/issue (don't blame him or his ears will close!). Wrapping anything you say in compliments will get the best results.
While you're not calling him (good move, girl), here's some interesting reading to keep you occupied:
http://www.amazon.com/s/102-8546345-4013714?ie=UTF8&tag=mozilla-20&index=blended&link%5Fcode=qs&field-keywords=why%20men%20love%20bitches&sourceid=Mozilla-search
Uh oh. Since that link isn't working, I'll send it to you in email.
Btw, I meant "(I'm sorry, that's funny)" as in ha-ha funny, not shady-funny. Best of luck!
Thank you so much Java for your respons! But....I am so ashame to admitt that after the 10 day stand off....I gave in today 8/27/07 and called my fiancee... :( Yeah, he has won again. We'll after spending time on keen.com and getting all these carzy and scary predictions I panic! (I know that's desperate...but it true.) When we spoke he was trippin..yeah typical leo...king of the jungle; saying that I'm just wanting to control him..I so confused I don't know what I am trying to do...I just want some PEACE! and for him to give in and know he don't have to be right all the "d" time. His stubborness is hard to match and on top of things he is Spanish (Bolivian) and that adds to the male egotism/stubborness he has. I need help if we are gonna make it to the altar, becuz Im not sure If I am willing to marry a "Bull" for a husband? LEO MEN anyone!!! can you give me tips on how to handle/communicate this issue to my greatest love. He is such a sweetheart when he wants to be and while putting me up on a pedastal he shower me with I love you's and shower me with affection...which makes it harder to even concive of living without him...I guess I will have to take the bad with the good! Also if there are any hispanic Leo men out there who can help me please do "help a sista out" Thanks to eveyone who may reply.
What's your sun sign, Angellover?
And there's no need to be "ashamed" of calling your fiance first. Maybe you two are a perfect match considering he doesn't like to call first after an argument, while you're willing to do that. This pretty much ensures that making up will occur.
Anybody have any suggestions for Angellover?
Thank you for this blog. Is there something going on right now that is causing all of this Leo foolishness? My boyfriend recently ended our 2 and a half year relationship because he "had too much going on in his life", and has immediately began spending time with other girls [which he has continuously tried to play down, why won't he just admit it?]. Hrmph, evidently he has time for them. I realize now that for the past few months I wasn't stroking his Leo ego enough - I'm a Sag-Cap cusp, and my Cap side was dominating. He is definitely playing games - calling but not answering when I call, he'll speak to me on the phone or text me, but won't come talk to me in person. Half of his clothes are still at my house and after 2 and a half weeks he hasn't come to get them yet and I am moving soon. I have asked him to come get them and he said he would, but yet here they sit. I haven't communicated with him in 4 days, blocked him from my facebook and myspace profiles (more for my own sanity than to get back at him) and I don't know how to act when I finally have to contact him again about getting his stuff. Should I assert my confidence and happiness? Should I act like I have been hanging out with other guys? Is there anything I can do to make him care at this point?
I don't even know why I care? I know that I have put up with way more from this guy than I thought I would from anyone, and I completely empathize with the others who have talked about the draw of a Leo. I just want him to realize what he's losing, regardless of whether he chooses me or not.
Well I'm a leo and I really liked the part about the mature and immature leo. And I have to say that I once was the immature leo but as I get older I see myself now as the mature leo that doesn't need anyone to give or tell her what she can give and feel from herself. I'm stronger mentally, more emotionally (even tho I still get emotionally crazy sometimes lol) and I love the cofidence that I feel inside myself. I LOVE BEING A LEO!
I was best friends with a Leo girl for over a decade. I loved and adored her for her strength and loyalty. We had similar fashion taste and we communicated well without saying a word.
As we grew older, I got married first. (Although that failed) and I had children first. She was happy and proud for me at first sight. However, as time moved on she was unneccesarily rude to me. (I'm very big on being treated with respect and treating others with it as well.)
It seemed as though she didn't want anything good to happen for me. Even worse it seemed as though she got a certain level of satisfaction watching me struggle with the challenges of single motherhood after I left my husband.
She behaved as if we were in a competition, not best friends. It hurt me to see her change after all that we'd been through together. I stopped telling her about the positive things in my life since it seemed to upset her. We even stopped hanging out because she had a tendency of drinking too much, then sulking and becoming as difficult as she could.
The final straw was my birthday last year. I'd been partying all week with my other girlfriends (they went all out for me), but she'd declined every invitation that I'd extended. Finally, she decided to go out on my actual birthday night. By midnight she still wasn't ready, I called her at half past and she said she didn't like her hair so she wasn't sure if she was coming.
My birthday is a BIG deal to me, I explained that to her and let her know that if the situation were reversed I'd put my hair in a ponytail and dance with her till the sun came up. I asked her how much more time she would need, she said she didn't know, I asked was she still going, she replied that she didn't know. I remained as composed as I could and quickly ended the conversation.
I hung out and partied all night with a taurus male friend, I never called her again after that. I love her but I've just had enough of her unfriendly behavior.
She called me a few months ago out of the blue. She found it funny that I was working on a sunday (unbeknownst to her it was my request.) She said that it took her a long time to get over my abadndonment of her and she said that the only purpose of her call was to tell me I was the fakest b***h she ever knew.
LOL! I was incredibly amused by the comment because we both know that is RIDICULOUSLY far from the truth. Also, she still hasn't matured. LOL! Poor thing.
I merely told her that it was great to hear from her, I wish her all the best of life and love, and to enjoy the rest of her day.
I haven't heard from her since, and honestly I don't need to. I will always love her for what we shared but she has alot of living and learning to do before I would even consider having her in my intimate circle again.
SuchaVirgo, sounds like this Leo was your frenemy.
It's good you cut her loose.
WOW! I wish I would have read this a while ago. I dealt with an immature Leo and reading this makes me think you were writing about him. I tried to walk away, but I'd take him back , or I'd go back. We didn't end on bad terms, but I'm just tired of his juvenile behavior. Now its too late. I didn't play my cards right. I REALLY wish I'd read this a long time ago. Now I know what to do if I meet another Leo.
hi.. i just looking for some details about leo and so lucky dat i found tis blog.. erm.. recently i fall in love with Leo.. we started tis relationship last month.. we get together very fast.. in the beginning he was so enthusiasm but after we get together he suddenly treats me cold.. i dunno why.. is it because we get together too fast so he wont appreciate? i think he is immature Leo but he is 8 years older than me.. i know he is busy with his work and i keep finding an excuse to comfort myself when he cant accompany me.. but.. when i was sick, i sprained my leg and even food poisoning.. he din even show his concern to me.. dun even ask me how i feel..i'm really disappoint.. but i bear with it..sometimes i try to communicate with him but what i ask also rubbish coz he'll answer other or change topic.. i know he is hiding something and dun like me to ask, so i neva ask.. i really treat him as a king.. whatever he wants than i try my best to do it.. i try my best to observe him..but he is like locking himself and i cant enter his heart.. we juz start for a month.. he already like tis.. then how am i going to do with the rest of my life.. can anyone teach me how to let my Leo show some concern to me? appreciate and let me feel warm? i'm a taurus girl.. i'm really lost...
What does he do that makes you want him? Why not find someone (like a mature Leo, for example) who you don't have to persuade to appreciate you? Leos either respect you or they don't. As I mentioned in the blog post, Leos don't respect someone more for sticking around when they know they're being disrespectful towards that person. They only respect people that refuse to be mistreated. Leos want to be with the best and unless you convince him that you're the best (by acting like it), then he won't care.
If you want someone to tend to you while you're sick and notice all of the details that are you, you might have a better shot with an observant and service-oriented sign like Virgo. Many Virgos live to help and take care of others. Just remember to say thank you. ;)
One more thing...I'll add a personal story about a Leo.
One day, I took my car in to get serviced and the manager of the place was extra friendly and offered me a discount. Well, of course I was happy about that, but asked him to put it in writing (it's hard to enforce an oral agreement). We went back and forth for a bit, but he ended up writing me a note promising the discount. He was so tickled by my suggestion (well, demand) that he went around telling all of his employees about it, laughing the whole time. After my car was serviced, he immediately started telling me that he was impressed by how I handled the situation - and then asked me out. By the way, during this conversation, he volunteered that he's a Leo (Leo's love telling you they're Leos lol) and incorrectly guessed that I was a Leo, too (well, I have Mercury in Leo so that's an understandable guess).
Before asking me out, he definitely tested me a lot by being bossy and aggressive in his questioning, which triggered my bossy side. As soon as I told him what he could do with his questions (in a joking way, of course), he asked me out. I think Leos test people to see what they're made of. They know they can be a lot to handle and want partners who won't let them have their way all the time. They think, Where's the fun in that?
So if there's no challenge (i.e., if you're giving him everything he asks for), the immature ones take advantage of the situation (for however long it remains advantageous) and then leave, while the mature ones will simply leave.
Basically, I'm saying be a little more selfish and think about yourself first and he will start to appreciate you. Leos like if you have high standards, because that makes the victory of winning you that much sweeter.
You are a zodiac goddess, Jara.
I am? I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds like a good thing (better than a zodiac whore, for sure). I'll take it. Thanks. :)
That's a great compliment from Jeff, Jara--:-)
Zodiac whore indeed!LOLOL of course you're not!That's...well, never mind..;-)
Wait Jara..there is a difference between a Leo Man, and a Spoiled Man??
;-)
(hahahah)
thank u jaka.. i really learns alot when reading ur comment.. frankly said i really dunno what he makes me to love him.. i think juz the feeling.. he told me dat he really love me.. but when he is with me i can see that he really nice to me.. when he is busy he won't even send me a message.. i also wondering dat should i send him a message give him a cal or juz dun care about him.. is really confused..
what do u mean to be a little selfish? how to be? can u give me some obvious example? coz i really straight minded.. i can't really know wat mans thinking.. i juz hope i can work hard for tis relationship..
Jara, you're brilliant.
You pinned down very important characteristics of a Leonine person. Something that seems to be usually ignored.
Like... WOW!
Proserpine, sometimes it's very hard to tell the difference. :P Adorable and frustrating in the same package...just like a baby, so they're easy to spoil. lol
Usual Unsuspect, thanks. I grew up with a lot of Leo cousins. One Leo cousin used to stay with us for summers as a child, so I had a chance to study him up close and personal. Btw, he shares the same birthday with his ex-girlfriend and their son. Watching all 3 of them together? Lessons in Leo, for real. Also, there was a period when I kept attracting Leos into my life and dated a string of them, so I made mental notes of their similarities. Even though I'm not one, I do tend to get along with them. I believe my progessed Sun is in Leo now?? You once mentioned you're very Leonine. Maybe you can jump in and help Taurusbaby, too. :)
what do u mean to be a little selfish? how to be? can u give me some obvious example? coz i really straight minded..
Taurusbaby, it's hard for me to give you specific examples of what not to do because you don't specifically mention what it is that you do for him. So I can only suggest a new way of thinking that may change your actions and help you get what you want from him.
whatever he wants than i try my best to do it.. <--definitely slow down on doing this. Why give him whatever he wants when he's not giving you whatever you want? For example, if he doesn't call to see how you're doing when you're suffering from food poisoning, then maybe you don't want to be available to him when he does call or say yes to the next date. If you do, you're basically telling him to continue doing whatever he's doing since you're rewarding the behavior by going out with him. He doesn't know he's doing something you don't like. And it doesn't matter if you tell him at this point, because your actions say differently. Actions speak louder than words. Think about it: if a guy tells you he doesn't like it when you don't call, but every time you do call, he ends up spending time with you anyway, what would you think?
Right now, you're giving more than you're getting and it's making you unhappy and it may be boring him. Think reciprocity: Give what you get and get what you give. No more, no less. If he calls you to ask how your day is going, then you call him to see how his day is going. If he doesn't call to check up on you, then don't call to check up on him.
It may sound like a game, but many men think differently from women, especially fire sign men (including Leos) because they are independent by nature. They know they're in love when they think about you when you're not there. You mention him not calling you when he's busy. Then let him be busy. You get busy, too. That way, you won't be spending your time worrying about why he isn't calling. Stop making him your world. Let him come to you sometimes.
Of course, I'm writing this not knowing how long he stays busy and out of touch. If it's a reasonable time - say a day or two, let him be busy. But if it's weeks or months between him contacting you, then...he's too busy for a relationship with you, right?
However much you would like to see him/hear from him, let him know by telling him that you enjoy his company and would like to spend ___ (fill in the blank) amount of time with him. Leos like to know you enjoy their company, so that's a good start (really, any compliment is a good start with Leo). After that, either you get what you want or you don't. If you do, GREAT! If you don't, then move on and be happy without him.
Hope that helps. :)
Proserpine,
That's a great compliment from Jeff, Jara--:-)
Zodiac whore indeed!LOLOL of course you're not!That's...well, never mind..;-)
Thanks for the translation. My Mercury and Jupiter is in Leo; I don't understand subtle compliments (anything with less than 5 exclamation points is subtle lol). And what's in the ...? The "yada yada" is supposed to be the best part of the sentence. I'm sensing dirty thoughts...:P
Aw, thanks, Jeff!
Hey Taurusbaby, I just re-read my comment to you and I want to clarify something:
Think about it: if a guy tells you he doesn't like it when you don't call, but every time you do call, he ends up spending time with you anyway, what would you think?
What I meant by that is he goes out with you whenever you do call even if you call infrequently, despite saying he doesn't like it when you don't call. Ok, I hope that makes more sense.
thank u jara.. actually i'm thinking to give up tis relationship also when i feel like he is not working for it.. but i juz feel unbearable.. i did told him dat if u r busy with your work and can't accompany me then neva mind.. but your message and calls will make me feel happy.. but.. u know dat..
maybe we r really not suitable for each other.. i dun even dare to call him.. i scare will disturb him.. u said 'Then let him be busy. You get busy, too. ' this is wat i do to let me feel better..
he is dat kind of dun like to tell me what to do or wat he thinks then i'll straightly knows wat he wants.. and so coincidence that what he thinks sometimes i can really figure out..so i think tis made him ...ermm.. dunno how to say.. hope u know wat i mean..
jara.. if he keeps a secret from me.. and i accidently know it.. should i tell him?..
Jara, one of my personalities is very Leonine, indeed. Did you notice any significant shift when your progressed Sun moved to Leo?
taurus baby, as Jara has already written - I don't think it's possible to have a good, meaningful relationship with a Leo without showing him you can hold your own ground. Don't let him boss you around or terrorize you in any way, because he'll lose respect for you and subsequently - any interest.
The difficulty here is being strong, confrontational even, but in a way that doesn't hurt his pride.
Yes, admire him, but only for something he deserves, not just for being alive.
unsuspect.. thank u for ur advice.. i dunno wat to do.. really.. i'm confused.. i really confused.. wat u guys said really right.. but i dun dare to try.. am i stupid?...
jara.. if he keeps a secret from me.. and i accidently know it.. should i tell him?
That depends on what result you're looking for...If you want him to know that you know and test his reaction to that knowledge, then yes, tell him. If you want him to trust you and feel closer to you, I don't know if telling him will help those feelings along...A lot depends on how you found out his secret. He may end up feeling really defensive about not having any privacy with you..or he may feel like the burden of keeping the secret is now lifted off of his shoulders. You know him better than I do, so I can't really say what you should do. Try to think of all his possible reactions. If you're not OK with one of those reactions, don't tell. If you're OK with any of his possible reactions, tell him.
I can tell you what I would do (which you don't have to do, of course). I would bring up the topic gently to see his reaction. If he closes up and acts like he doesn't want to talk about it, I wouldn't bring it up. If the secret is something that he lied to me about, I'd probably bring it up.
Framboise *wink*, I think my Sun progressed into Leo when I was 17. I'm trying to think back to that time...so many moons ago. :) I do remember feeling more independent (I moved 3,000 miles away for college) and coming out of my shell more. Going to clubs for the first time (in Florida, you can get into clubs however old you are if you know the right people). Feeling myself, as they say. Definitely more outspoken in my peer group after going through a very introverted stage during earlier teens. Before then, I didn't want to date at all - had lots of trust issues. But I started dating seriously in college. Also, I felt more fortunate and optimistic, whereas before I felt like I couldn't catch a break. Where's your progressed Sun now? (Yea, I'm feeling too lazy to go look for myself. Add that to my list - laziness. lol)
Btw, I especially like what you said to Taurusbaby here:
The difficulty here is being strong, confrontational even, but in a way that doesn't hurt his pride.
Yes, admire him, but only for something he deserves, not just for being alive.
It's hard to strike that balance of standing up for yourself but in a non-threatening or ego-damaging way for the Leo (so sensitive). It's easy for him to hear anything but a compliment (or not doing things his way 100%) as an attack and he'll feel unloved. And that's not a Leo's happy place.
Saying no can be hard for some Leo mates because Leo has a knack for picking natural givers (the better to spoil them). The immature ones do anyway. The mature ones know that they become better when they're faced with challenges - someone who disagrees now and then.
I'm thinking of my Leo cousin. After staying with us, he gravitated towards our Taurus aunt (lived with her for three years during his teens). During that time, she gave him whatever he wanted and spoiled him to the point of (almost) no return. Most of our family felt bad for him because he lost his mother at a young age, so every female relative became his surrogate mother in a way and babied him. It took some very hard life knocks to wake him up from his sense of entitlement. It's very funny to me when I hear him talk about how stubborn/spoiled his Leo son is and what he has to do to get him out of that. I just go "Hmm, isn't that something. Wonder where he got that from?" and we laugh about it. He tells me all the time that he's glad I didn't give him his way when he was younger. Yea, we used to fight a lot but he was really happy when he stayed with us. Even though we fought like cats and dogs, he knew I loved him because I fought anyone who tried to mess with him.
thank u everyone.. thank u jara.. hope i can really understand that.. really thank u..
Jara, you made my day. It's greatly appreciated, because life's been rather rough lately.
I guess that your progressed Sun finally reinforced your fiery Ascendant :)
Progressed Sun in Libra. Uhh, hard work and a lot of it. As I see it, Virgos with personal planets in Libra have it easier.
Yep, Leos can be difficult to handle, because with their spontaneous brashness you would think that they don't mind being handled the same way, and you find out too late that sometimes you should censor your words and actions in their presence.
I have a Leo cousin as well. As his Leo mother said once "when he gets to know you, he gives all of himself, immediately and unconditionally, but hurt him once and he'll withdraw forever".
Another thing about immature Leos (though it seems to be accurate when we're talking about the immature versions of all fire signs) - tendency to fetishize masculinity.
Or I'm just babbling again?
taurus baby, don't be too hard on yourself and no, you're not stupid. Take some time to think if it's really what you want and what you need. Good luck!
You're welcome, Taurusbaby. I hope everything works out for you.
Progressed Sun in Libra? No wonder you seem so pleasant and easy to get along with. ;) What has been hard about the transition into Libran territory? What changes did you notice?
What do you mean by "fetishize masculinity?" I think I understand, but I'm not sure. Please "babble" on.
Maybe we should take this convo private??? It may get off-subject...
I think I was just invited to the conversation--[someone said something about fetishes...LOL].
I think I know what Unsuspect meant--but yes, please do say more UsualUnsupect(I like that name btw).
I *think* you mean, he exagerrates it in an odd manner and way?
In other words, he makes his masculinity/masculinity -in -general seem like something "out there" outside of himself,that he envioions a certain way but that s something is different and weird he has to live up to and he romanticizes and *idealizes* it, makes much of it..too much.
Close?Or no.
Pray tell us.
SuchaVirog, I'm glad you stopped being friends with that Leo girl.
I have had friends like that--the one I'm thinking of is a Gemini but has her Moon in Leo, and behaves very Leo-like when you'e close with her.Jealous, and competitive--about nothing!
I know I have a marraige and she doesn'r--but she also knows I worked damn hard on it--and she would not want my husband.She would not want my house either--at all--but she's jealous I have one.
She likes to believe many are jealous of her--but I think it's usually not so.
Anyway--your former Leo girlfriend--I am shocked she called you only to say she thought you were the fakest b*tc*!!
What?
I don't know any Virgos that are fake, first of all, and it does'nt sound like you are, especially!
I know I would ahve wanted to know why she wanted to be friends with *me* if she couldn't bother with my birthday, wasn't happy for me, and always seemed UNhappy when I had something good happen for me.Did you not wonder?
But like Jara said, I agree you're well rid of her.
"friends" ('frenemy' is a good word)like that--are not friends, they're like a nerve-wracking cough.
;-)
I was thinking along the same lines as you, Proserpine. Hopefully, UU will step in and confirm/deny/expound. :)
I've noticed that it's really hard to get Aries and Leo men, especially, to see the difference between this image they keep projecting of themselves (based on some idea they have in their head of what they should be) vs. the real thing. Of course, it becomes very evident to their near-and-dears that's what's happening. They almost don't know what to do with themselves if their mates don't need saving or protecting from something. Sagittarius doesn't do this as much as the others, but still thinks he should project this "above it all" attitude, so I'll add Sagittarius to the list because they really want to save someone from a bad mood via a joke or fun outing.
Here's how the complaints will sound if they're not feeling like "real men" in a relationship:
From Aries - "Why won't you let me be the man? I'm supposed to be the man and take care of this."
Even if what he's "taking care of" is so beyond his natural abilities. For example, if he has deemed something "man's work" like fishing, then he will refuse to let his mate fish even though she's catching hundreds more fish than him. He'll secretly admire her for this skill, but it will also piss him off, making him feel like "less" of a man and he will start in with the whine above.
From Leo - "You never appreciate all the things I do for you or how special I make you feel."
Ok, this one comes from Leo doing things for you that HE likes and didn't get what he thinks is the appropriate feedback (obvious, continuous praise). Of course, he forgot that your actual likes and dislikes weren't considered. For example, he bought his lady a dozen roses to show how much he loves her because he thinks that what romantic men do. Yet his lady has repeatedly told him she's allergic to roses. Because she didn't immediately thank him profusely or didn't make a big to-do about showcasing them in a nice vase, he will start complaining she's not appreciating him as a man.
From Sagittarius - He might blame his mate for being the cause of any of his actions that veer from his idea of himself as a big-hearted, benevolent do-gooder. He thinks a man should be making goals and reaching them. Anything less is...uncivilized. :)
jara.. unsuspect.. help me..i really lost my way.. i dunno why my relationship with leo is sinking down.. i already 2 weeks din see him coz of we're both busy.. but i dunno why he dun wanna cal me and message me.. everytime also i start to message him.. sometimes he dun even reply my message.. i feel like message an invisible people..
he used to message me no matter how busy he is.. only a word 'miss u' and i'll feel happy.. but now.. when i message him he juz reply me too or dun wanna reply.. i can sense that he is something wrong.. is it Leo man all like that? when their busy they won't even think about their love one? or is it he is trying to leave me behind..?
what should i do? i'm really goin crazy.. i dunno how to save this relationship.. help me.. i really dun wish to end..
Regarding immaturity and being "spoiled" we pots ought not to call the kettles black.
"The difficult part is not being bad; it's figuring out when to be bad and when to be good. It's true that society still sees an authoritative woman and immediately thinks: bitch. But it's also true that many women are bitches, not from too much strength but from the lack of it, just as arrogant men tend to be the weakest of the lot. Confident women don't need to be controlling. Hillary Rodham Clinton, Wurtzel notes, is not only a faux feminist, she is also a faux bitch. Her cold self-righteousness stems not from liberation but from frustration; like Barbara Bush, Wurtzel writes, ''Hillary is just her husband's wife.''
Sadly, when Wurtzel turns to those she considers the most difficult women of all -- women who are depressed -- she seems to misplace the importance of independence. She goes so far as to praise women who get their way by whining, throwing temper tantrums -- in general, making their pain 'everyone else's problem.' And then she says that the reason they are miserable and self-destructive is that society can't appreciate them. What seems to escape her is that depression still hits twice as many women as men, partly because many women refuse to do the emotional work needed to gain control of their lives -- to grow up. Like many feminist writers today, Wurtzel pooh-poohs self-development. While she admires the steely self-restraint of many of her difficult women, she herself doesn't want to have to control anything -- how much cake she eats, how many Gucci bags she buys, how many lovers she sleeps with, how often she calls them. Without rules like these, she argues, 'we would be truly free.'
Fortunately, this turns out to be another instance of Wurtzel just shooting her mouth off. In discussing Jean Harris's violent little episode, she notes, 'Adults are supposed to know better, they are assumed to be able to control their impulses -- that is, I suppose, what makes them fit to be called adults.'
In the end, 'Bitch' turns out to be another, livelier attempt by Wurtzel to figure out what kind of woman she'd like to be. It's not easy. Life may not have been happier, but it was surely simpler when a feminine ideal loomed over women's heads. But Wurtzel seems to reach some sort of epiphany in her epilogue: 'With so many reasons to be bitter and exhausted, it sometimes feels like embracing life and love is the only answer.' Aha! Perhaps there is a difference between adolescent self-involvement and rational self-interest. Perhaps many difficult women led miserable lives because they never understood that there doesn't have to be a contradiction between taking care of your own needs and those of others. Perhaps in writing her next book, Wurtzel (and her publisher) will trust the power of her brain as much as the power of her breast."
�
Karen Lehrman is the author of ''The Lipstick Proviso: Women, Sex & Power in the Real World'' and the editor of Civnet, an on-line journal.
I'm an Aries woman w/ a Scorpio moon & he's A Leo on the cusp of Leo & Virgo. I thought Leo was supposed 2 b my best match & while we're attracted 2 eachother & have tons of fun together (when we can WORK out seeing eachother...) there's still things lacking: he's not attentive enough & I told him that but nothing's changed. The strongest I've ever been w/ him was when I didn't contact him for 3days: He texted me like: "Um, what's going on?" the 3rd nite.
He's starting to get manipulative too & he's also really layed back. Which drives me up the wall! Dang, maybe I shud look up Female Scorpio & Male Leo. Cuz, I'm not like a female Aries @ all when it comes to dealing w/ dudes....
I love this! It totally describe my leo man...
i am really troubled these days as our arguments always evolved around his neglection and i am lost not knowing what i can do to make him treasure me and adore me.
I REALLY NEED HELP HERE...SOMEONE PLS GIVE ME ADVISE!
How can i get his attention focus on me and not telling me that this is wrong and that is not right?
Recently i attended his buddy's wedding but was totally left out, he simply entertain his friends making me feel so invisible...
Oh valentine's day coming soon...my brain is bursting not knowing what to get for me...he somehow is a kind who will not even see or touch the things u buy if it does not catch his eyes...
He loves japanese food so should i put on the apron and cook him a nice dinner?
Alicia
Im a Scorpio with a Virgo Rising and the Never Neverland Leo has a Scorpio rising. What in the WORLD?...
Here are his 'character defects':
a)No insight to right or wrong...
b)Saying sorry days after the verbal assault
c)DESTRUCTIVE...but let me explain. Self sabotage - because if he touched this Scorpio you would have read about it. Trust me.
d)HOT TEMPERED but has 'knuckle game'.
e)Can be very secretive...until he finds out that he is dealing with a person that has the GIFT of discernment...dummy...
F)EGO TRIPPING OUT.
G) is for GIRLS....enough said.
Look I could go on but those of you who have dealt with this type of man knows the deal...
When I first met him, I met the SALESMAN delivering the product and it caught my attention which is hard to do sometimes...
But I found out he was more of the representative trying to keep the product on the shelf,so to speak.
Have I cut him off? YES - especially intimately which is what probably had me hanging on for over a year...and why did I do that? It seems to draw him CLOSER.
I have reduced him to friendship and cussed him until a barnacle on a boat seemed more presentable...and he will wait and mentally stalk me (which I find HILARIOUS NOW...everyone now takes bets on how many days before he will call back. LOL.)Then he will call back as if he did NOTHING wrong...and it was MY temper and
MY demeanor that started the disagreement...Ladies if you know this LEO - HE WONT LET YOU GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE! I am a C-C-C Scorpio which will sometimes scare the micky-ficky out of him...In self assessment I fired him because he actually could get under my skin which would make me start to plan things of unGODLY like thoughts...for real...acting out of unlady-like character...ME? The Phoenix? :)
Well I decided this week to limit the phone calls...and those 'lets meet for lunch-dinner' meets...and he noticed. Aint happy either.
Today is Valentines day and you want to BET who was the first to call? Do you think he would even care if anyone else would be interested in me or me them? A Leo? A immature one? THE KING?
HE is making sure like a CAT that he is SPRAYING his territory...
I wont start on how funny he is when he is trying to say I LOVE YOU. You all dont have the time. LOL!
I am known as -
The Phoenix
:)
PS - I dont know why this happens, but there is another LEO who has expressed interest, born one day apart from this above listed character same year and it is two different people! This LEO has a LIBRA rising and when I tell you mushy, romantic (maybe a little fast moving for my old fashion values)attentative...and a fantastic sense of humor...to name a few good things about him. Why do I attract Leos? An alot of Geminis too! Aaauurrrugh!
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