How does the Virgo man deal with a breakup?
As a Pisces, I deal with grief and pain by drinking large quantities of alcohol and watching DVDs. (Just kidding on the first part!) Virgo, my opposite, scrubs his toilet when his heart breaks. Unlike Pisces -- who seeks to escape suffering by transcending reality -- Virgo hones in on the details, immersing himself in ritualistic behaviors. A thorough house-cleaning may help him purge the demons of longing. Or he may participate in a round of colonic hydrotherapy sessions to cleanse himself of embodied relationship toxins.Virgo is ruled by intellectual Mercury. This analytic guy likes to improve upon anything that is not working efficiently. Even though the relationship is over, he will obsess over what he could have done better, picking apart the flaws in communication patterns, living arrangements and bookshelf categorization systems.
If there is a liability in Virgo's coping mechanisms, it is that he will process the breakup mentally, yet not truly feel his grief. As a result, he may somatize his sadness, and end up consulting his holistic health practitioner to address problems that would not exist if he truly stayed with his emotions.
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posted by Jeffrey Kishner at 8/07/2007
16 Comments:
As a virgo woman, I find this post offensive. It portrays Virgos as obsessive compulsive hypochondriacs who are unable to get in touch with their feelings. I for one do not deal with heartbreak by cleaning my house or any of the other things mentioned here. Virgos are no different than any sign when dealing with heartbreak and disappointment. Shame on you Jeffery
Anonymous, are you suggesting that everybody deals with heartbreak the same way? How do you cope with disappointment? And where are your other planets?
I admit I may rely on zodiac stereotypes in posts like this, but I do believe that not everyone processes grief the same.
As a Virgo, I don't really feel offended, but I think I know what Anonymous is hinting at. Stereotypically earth signs are too concerned with practical matters to have time for their emotional side.
Unfortunately this stereotype is quite popular.
Sometimes it makes a person want to fight for their right to have feelings AT ALL, as absurd as it may sound.
I'm sure Virgos have feelings like the rest of us, but they sure don't feel comfortable showing sadness or heartbreak "normally." At least the ones I know don't...Show me a crybaby Virgo and I'll show you someone masquerading as a Virgo.
And I must say that not all Virgos I've met are neat freaks, but my Virgo stepmother DOES clean when she's upset - and she's upset when things aren't clean.
Actually, yes most virgos, are very confined people, but we have a horrible tendency to clean when we are pissed off, for some odd reason; exspecially when its a boy problem.
I don't think that cleaning as a method of dealing with our feelings is a bad thing. It is incredibly calming and soothing. Certainly a lot healthier than drowning in booze, the way most Pisceans or Scorpios would, or overeating, like a Cancerian. Those signs might be more "emotional" but that doesn't necessarily mean that they handle their feelings much more healthfully than other signs. I just wanted to point that out bc when I read Jeff's entry, I knew exactly what he was saying and (as a non-Virgoan who loves to clean when I'm feeling stressed) I didn't read any criticism in that entry. I've stormed and cried until my nose ran and formed a sea of snot (yum) during a break-up and looking back I can honestly say, I don't think that drama was a better outlet either.
Jeffrey,
It's marsey. I forgot my password. I'm anonymous who was offended with your post. Anyway, to answer your question I'm a Virgo/Pices moon/Taurus Rising/Scorpio descendant...How do I cope with disappointment? It depends on how deep the hurt. If blindsided by someone I really care about I go into seclusion for a few days, sleeping, ruminating over the issue trying to understand what happened,but usually will talk with only those closest to me about what is upsetting me. Lesser disappointments I just deal with it by going about my normal affairs but it is still in the back of my mind...And by the way, I clean my house all the time, so cleaning when upset is not something I need to do. And I would never get a colonic.
Marsey, sounds like you go into your Pisces Moon (seclusion, sleep). Any Sun sign post is necessarily a simplification, and no two Virgos are alike.
I knew a Virgo who had weekly colonics!
Eme, I don't think Jeff was saying that Pisces (or any other water sign) processes breakups any more "healthfully" than Virgo (or any other sign). He was simply pointing out the stereotypical differences. Ranking the methods of dealing with breakups is unnecessary and divisive. Who says cleaning is better than drowning one's sorrows in booze or overeating? Without moderation, obsessive compulsive cleaning can be counter-productive just like anything else.
I know, Jara. I didn't mean to be divisive, I was merely trying to say that just bc one sign is more emotional than another, their coping mechanisms can also be unhealthy. You're right, compulsive cleaning is unhealthy but I wanted to point out that cleaning that is not compulsive can be a pretty good outlet. The key is moderation as you say. I wanted to point out that the more "emotional" water-sign ways of coping can also be unhealthy if taken to extremes but by no means did I mean to imply that one coping mechanism is better than the other. Nor did I mean to spark a ridiculous "fight" as to which sign is "better" at coping with stress or heartbreak. Just out of curiosity: Did everyone else read my previous post that way?
If so, I apologize for not being clear.
Jara: When I said "I know" at the beginning of the post, I meant that I know what Jeff was saying in his original post. I was responding to the implied criticism that I myself didn't read into it.
As a Virgo, I have to admit you're all leaving out the obvious detail: that it's better to be depressed in a clean-ass house than to be down in your own dumps, lol. I never understand why some people make a bad situation worse by leaving pizza out all night or losing their car keys. You've already in a funk, why do you want to join in with cruel fate and hurt yourself more by overeating, smoking, drinking too much...
This is all so obvious, why can't you all see?
I'm a virgo woman born on Sept. 20,. I had my heartbroken by a guy almost a year ago and I still grieve like it was yesterday. I am probably one of the most sensitive ppl I know. I brake out into tears several times a day longing for him! Alot of times as soon as I wake up in the mornings, as if something falls on me as soon as I open my eyes. If anything I would think Virgo's hanndle these situations worse than other signs because we are picky about who we let into our lives. So after anylizing every detail of whether we should let you be apart of us you decide to throw us away it leaves us very devistated b/c it makes us feel like we are not good enough or as if we missed something in our strive to perfectionism. I haven't been reading astrology for long and was very surprised to find that virgo's are thought of as cold and prude. I am very affectionate, loving, and expressive. I have every trait of a virgo except I don't know anything about cold and unforgiving!
I am a virgo female and Shianne couldn't have said it any better. I have friends tell me that I can't be a virgo because I don't act like them. I do have some of the traits. I know that when someone hurts me I don't want them to know that they hurt me. I don't want them to see me cry. It's kind of like you don't want people to think your weak or fragile. When I am angry I clean because for me when I am angry I just want to punch your lights out. I also like to go for a walk to calm me down. Virgo's have a tendency to say hurtful things when they are angry or upset, things that you can't take back. So my advice is when a virgo storms out angry don't chase behind her arguing with her or you will get an earfull. When she is upset she doesn't want you to see her cry. If you wait awhile and then go back and speak to them later they will talk to you after they calm down and you will make some headway. I have felt the hurt that Shianne is talking about. Only I couldn't sleep I cried myself to sleep and three hours later I woke up with tears still in my eyes. I too had a guy brake up with me that I was head over heals in love with I lost so much weight because I was so upset that I made myself sick from crying all of the time. He saw me 7 months later and I had lost a lot of weight and he asked me if I was sick. I said no and he looked at me and said how did you lose so much weight? I couldn't say I miss you terribly and I can't eat or sleep. So don't say that Virgo's are cold hearted we feel very deeply. We just don't want you to know it because after you dumped us we put our guards up and we don't trust you with our feelings.
ok...first of all if you LADIES read the title it says HOW A VIRGO MALE deals with a break up and second every virgo is not the same im a scorpio and thinking deeply enough is obviously not your guyes speciality because your life experiences like not having a father in your life or a dead mother can alter the way you deal with things and how you take things not everyones the same but its out there for people that can relate not get offended...
im a gemini sun/ virgo moon/ taurus rising my venus and mercury are in gemini and my mars is in aries and depending on how deeply im hurt i will clean my room.
i dated a capricorn sun/leo moon for 1 yr and 7 months and when he dumped me i got very nervous and shaky. i tend to get very! nervous and shakey when things in relationships so wrong (i have virog in another planet aswell) and i was very passive my response was "okay". i never show my emotions to my boyfriends (not friends) when i am sad (only when im angry) i show more anger than remorse towards them. well after the break up i went on dates with other people right off the bat ( he broke up with me on a thursday and i went on a date saterday night ) and i partied....like crazy! out every weekend and there was always a guy i had. i find that i way i deal with a break up is to party,drink, and not eat. i lost 12 pounds. well two weeks later it was new years and i got a new boyfriend on the stroke of 12. he was a rebound for sure. he was a capricorn sun/aquarious moon/and capricorn rising i liked him but its plain and simple he was a rebound. however i didnt tell my ex that i got a new bf . ironically after i got a new bf my ex bf came back from ny and had been begging me to date him again..crying and begging and giving me roses and candies and being very jealous and over protective and angry. he still didnt kno about the new bf and i did a good job at keeping it from him. ( not a good thing but w.e.) and then another guy started talkin to me through mutual friends and i liked him so the day after me and my bf at the times one month anniversary i dumped him and stayed single. then a month and a half later i started dating the guy i met through mutual friends he was a libra sun/aries moon.he was very fun.we had fun together and never stopped laughing. i always made him laugh. i never spoke to my previous ex...completely ignored him. im very good and cutting people out of my life.VERY good at it. it doesnt bother me at all. and many people tell me its hard to read me. they say that they dont feel important to me. i dont need to be around my friends 24/7 i like to be away from them sometimes because they longer i am away from them the happier i am when i see them again. and it doesnt bother me. i like hanging out with different friends everyday i dont like to clinge to anyone or anything. and maybe that is because i have a lot of gemini and virgo in me....well anywho me and the new bf dated for 2 months then i caught him cheating so i confronted him and he choked up and dumped me before i could dump him. but then he wanted me back and cried..but w.e. i didnt really care i was already talkin to my ex again...rebound...so then a month later i was back with my ex and 2 weeks later we broke up and here i am single for 3 days now. and already planning on rebounding to a new guy. i try to be single but its soooo hard. lol .from this story i would say i deal with break ups quite well.. my most recent ex...wants to go back out but im not going to let that happen. he complains ill never try to talk to him or talk to him period unless he talks to me or calls me ....hes right. i can shut people out of my life so easily its crazy. the saying that geminis and virgos are always busy is soo true in my case.
im interested in what u have to say to this jeffrey kishner!! so feel free to write back!! im at work and id like to read your response!!
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