A cheating Pisces
A sad Sagittarius writes:He cheated-- my sweet, innocent, "fallen angel" as he likes me to refer. Why? Now what? Does that mean he is over me? As he put it "she literally broke into his house in the middle of the night, and she is an ex ex ex girlfriend, the type he wishes he had spent more time with." Isn't that just about every ex for a Pisces? He did tell me that he loves me, before this obviously, and he said it often. This seems out of nowhere. I haven't cried yet, and I told him I didn't want to speak with him anymore. Now, I want to speak with him and find out the golden question: why?Sad Sag,
Is there hope? I still love him too much.
It sounds like your Pisces is embodying the very worst qualities of his sign: passivity and martyrdom. Pisces is the archetype of the crucified Jesus -- no wonder he likes you to refer to him as your "fallen angel."
Your Pisces' ex may very well have broken into his house, and I'm sure he wishes he had spent more time with her, but he's with you now. He could have said, "No, I have a girlfriend." Pisces can act as if they are helpless victims, but there are Pisces who have grown up. "Help, I'm a fallen angel, and I can't get up" is no excuse, especially since he can get it up with someone else.
I'm not sure trying to get a reasonable explanation out of him is worth your time. He went with the flow of the moment, as Pisces are prone to do. If you're a guy, and an ex you're still hot for breaks into your house and seduces you, it does take some backbone to save your bone for your girlfriend. I'd actually be more worried about this ex who broke into his house -- is she stable?
There may be hope for the relationship if your Pisces can take responsibility for his part, as well as make a commitment to grow up. That's not something you can measure, but you're a Sag ... either you have faith, or you don't.
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posted by Jeffrey Kishner at 2/21/2007
15 Comments:
The ex that broke into his house was probably an Aries (sounds like something all the Aries women I know would do). I hate to admit, but that sounds like a Sag move too, I'm not sure.
As for faith, I have that, but more in myself than him. It is hard to have faith in someone after that, especially since I don't know what his honesty means. He didn't have to tell me about it, so is that his way of driving me away, or of trying to fix it to save the relationship? I have no clue which is his motive. Or, is his narcissism just making him remove that guilt so he can go back to feeling like a victim again, rather than the perpetrator?
He is so complicated. He has Leo rising. I have Scorpio rising (I am holding back the stinger with all my might on this), and a Pisces moon. I wish there was a way to act like a catalyst and jump start him into that growing up part you mentioned. Do you have any suggestions? Should I counter-wound? Ignore? Yell? Or just forgive him and say: "Honey, it's alright, we can still make it work. I understand how hard it must have been since she broke in and you still care about her. If you promise never to do it again, I will forgive you." I hate the idea of being that vulnerable with him, it just seems terrifying to say that. Cause then if he really is trying to drive me away, he might try something even more upsetting since this wasn't enough.
As an Aries, let me say that yes, I might break into an ex's house and have sex with them, but not a Pisces. Too weak. Give me a Taurus any day.
Sag, don't think too hard about this. I myself have a Pisces Moon and my ex was a Pisces Moon as well, so I know what Jeffrey is talking about when he talks about the worst Piscean characteristics. Your bf is not taking responsibility and the way he is doing that is by playing the martyr. Neat trick that one, dontcha think? He gets to misbehave AND he gets to feel that he was the victim of this hussy with whom he had a "pity f**k." It's up to you to show him that there are consequences to his lack of responsibility. If you forgive him and give him another chance, what do you think that will show him? That he can count on your faith in him, even if he hasn't earned it. So, don't get all confused about what his actions meant, didn't mean, etc. Just SHOW him that you are not going to take this behavior. And I don't mean make a scene or "talk to him" (we women are way too addicted to relationship that doesn't solve a damn thing). No, I wouldn't say: I forgive you but you better not do it again. I would show him with actions: This is what happens when you cheat.
What's the best punishment for him? Only you know. And I do believe that you have to punish him, girl. Sorry, but people don't learn unless there's a little pain. In my case, my ex-bf was very invested in others' opinion of him. He wouldn't listen to me but he wanted everyone to think he was a nice guy. So I turned to my Uncle--someone whose opinion he respects. I outed his bad behavior to my Uncle and had him talk to my ex. My ex was furious and mortified but he paid me back the money that he owed me. Do you think he would've done that if I hadn't embarrassed him? Show your Pisces man that there are consequences to not taking responsibility. And I know it can be hard to do that, Sag. Trust me, I want to forgive and be nice to everyone but that doesn't always serve, baby.
Edit: I mean to write:
"we women are way too addicted to relationship TALK that doesn't solve a damn thing."
I don't blame men for being fed up when they hear the words "we need to talk". This ain't the Middle East Peace Process! Let the guy show you the money! And, btw, this takes courage bc he might not step up to the plate. If you punish him, he might disappoint you anyway. He might not be worth your patience and compassion and you still need to stick by your guns. Don't let that Pisces Moon of yours set you up for pain. You can still be compassionate and not sacrifice your self-worth.
My high school sweatheart, my first love was a pisces. What a sticky emotional mess! The only way to deal with this is to walk way cold turkey. Pisces is a master emotional manipulator he will play victim, he will cry, crying comes easy to them and repent whole heartdly but he will repeat the behavior again when he sees he can get away with it.
wow I didn't know Pisces actually cheats, just heard they think a lot about it
so sure maybe he THOUGHT lots about ex-ex but he wouldn't have DONE it if she hadn't flat out crashed his pad, you know?
it's like she took the xtreme cause she couldn't get through the haze no other way
anyway, why did he tell you? that's wierd unless he's really stupid, or super smart (like he wants you to hate him so you leave)
don't feel so bad, hey are you with him still or did you do the dump
you should meet up with ex-ex-ex and get her take on him since, crash his pad together, threaten a threesome, get him hot and bothered, then take off
revenge is sweet
Threaten a threesome and then leave him hot and bothered? Do this to a Pisces? You are evil for thinking it : P
It does sound like something a Sag would do, though. Meanies.
Im a capricorn woman who has been dating a pisces male for a month. I usually take my time over new relationships and proceed with caution but this guy really bowled me over and promised much.He said he wanted to introduce me to his family and make plans with me, he also had given me some very romantic gestures such as candle lit meals and flowers. I was totally taken in and began to relax into the new friendship.
He told me that he stopped his subscription the the date site we met on, but last night I found out that he has been going on it for the entire time he has known me. I asked him what was going on and if he was still looking for someone else, despite saying all the things he had said to me. He totally choked and confessed that he was dating another woman as well as me. He then sent me a long e-mail saying that if I couldn't trust him and I was suspicious, then I wasn't for him. No shit!!! I am totally confused and feel like a real idiot that I let him get to me like that.
The best thing was that he insisted he got divorced because his ex wife cheated on him. POT KETTLE and BLACK comes to mind.
Ive just deleted all his pictures, his number and thrown away the flowers he sent me. Harsh but it's self preservation at the end of the day.
I read all these posts about cheating pieces and I didn't want to believe it because my pieces and I had an "understanding" because we went to church, because his ex was the mother of his child and he said their relationship was emotional and TOXIC...and he left her...but guess who he cheated on me with?!?! HIS BABY MAMA.
IF YOU'RE NOT SURE, be SURE that his MISGIVINGS are INTENTIONAL. I'm not saying you won't catch him. They really think they're smarter than you. I took advice from these columns and kept things I knew from him to catch him in lies and ask strategic questions...it worked.
I'm a sag who was challenged by his need for a deep emotional connection and as much as us sags are blamed for gaming around, I wouldn't think of it. He accused me of lying and cheating on a regular basis, but you know what they say...the one accusing is the one doing...
I was still giving him all the benefit of the doubt for where he was one night...until I found my neglected intuition driving myself to his ex's a city away and guess what I found? Him. At her place!
I can't trust a thing he said about his past...I was always learning something new even after he "told me everything."
See the relationship for what it's worth. As deep and intellectual and sensual as it may be... it's worthless because it's not real and it never will be. If you're detached enough to deal, he's fun, but awful jealous when he thinks the tables are turned!
Best of luck!
To Anonymous who is a Capricorn woman..your story sounds exactly like mine...I am wondering if your Pisces man is the same as mine...My man's name starts with a 'D'.....It would be so horrible if we are talking about the same guy....I am a Taurean...
Howdy everyone,
This post was very intresting to me... since i am a pisces male. Anyway.. There are few things I believe...
1. YES we do cheat!! Not because we hate you or want to be away from you.. its cuz we dont wanna see any girl in pain lol :D
God made us to love humanity so as a pisces it is my obligation to love humanity. But I dont believe in Martyr crap! yes I can use it to trick someone but I am not that stupid!
There is one truth though! which is: I am with a sagi. girl, so I cheat.. or whatever i do.. She is the only one who has my heart and I always think of how to benefit her.
I know you may think that this thinking is just f$%ked up :o) and i am happy with that. Since everyone has a right to agree or disagree.
My take on this post is, that he would NEVER tell you unless he believes that now is the right time to get away from you!!
I normally take this approach or pretend stupid when i want away from a girl.
So.. Dont be silly.. as a sagi. girl i think you are a true "silly, innocent" person. So enjoy your life and dont let that precious little heart of yours broken.
Love to all.
Hate me or love me! do whatever you like!
;)
As a Pisces woman, who's been in relationships with a number of Sags I'll tell you that the hardest thing for us to deal with is the Sagittarean aloofness. We Pisces need to be needed and wanted more than anything. I'm not accusing you of necessarily being distant but perhaps rather independent? Maybe? And then here comes along an ex who wants him deperately enough to break in; its hard for the fish to resist...
Im a pisces girl and in the past 3 years, dated pisces men. Ugh! i truly feel for all you ladies who have no clue what you are up against!Since Im a pisces gal i can see their little tricks. Something about the pisces man is very seductive. They make you feel secure in the way they feel, but is an illusion. And they actually get angry when you catch them in their illusion and make them look at their reality!
Pisces men do not like to look at the ugliness side of their personalities. They want to pretend they are the perfect, sensitive soul. And you are the mean, disruptive girl storming on their parade. When in reality, they stormed on their own damn parade you are just pointing it out. And talk about double standards! I mean come on!
Pisces do love to be loved. Ill admit, me and the pisces men have that in common. If you comeafter us hard, we love it. I wouldnt trust the pisces man unless he has some strong moral values.
They are too charming and they get you hooked and then act like all the other men you THOUGHT they werent like. But they do it in such a sentimentally soft way, you think you are the bad one. Or you dont want to lose that connection.
A piece of advice ladies, we Pisces can make a connection with lots of people. So if you think your pisces is gonna stop cheating, think again!
They are super emotional, passive-aggressive, illusionists. The only reason Im not at the emotional level of the pisces men i deal with is because i have lots of air in my chart(thank goodness!).
If you can, leave while you're ahead. Luckily Im a Pisces too, so I torment them the same way they torment me! Im still trying to get rid of the 2 im dating! Where is a capricorn? Sheesh! LOL!
Hi, this is Sagilarious. All you who responded are probably long gone....and guess what....1 1/2 years later I am with this guy. We broke-up, nearly killed each other with fighting, got back together, then kinda broke-up again. Geeze. It's long distance. I am moving to his location soon.
Anyways, I dunno. He is not the typical cheating type of Pisces. I actually think this "wanting to be needed" is a big part of it, but it's NO EXCUSE!!! I am very very independent, so I don't think I realized that when I wander off as though I don't need him, he thinks he is no longer Mr. Uber-Special (but he still is!!!! silly sensitive boys don't you know who I come back to everytime?)
Thanks for all these ideas and perspectives. I needed that, expecially from guys who have pulled similar crap. I like to know what was going on in your evil minds! :)
dead on.
i am a pisces guy. if someone pursue me long enough and i think they are attractive... we fall into the trap.
my last time was while i was overseas after breaking up with my ex... still love my ex.
a girl i considered a friend tried to kiss me... i said no... she tried again... and i kissed back.
and eventually i felt so responsible for the action.. we dated... even had pity sex. my ex found out... she got hurt and hooked up with another guy... and they been going out for months... and i am left heart broken..
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