So the Scorpion hurt the Crab, and she wants to lure the Crab back so that she can hurt him again?

I know, I know, you didn't mean to (or you couldn't help yourself). But remember that Cancer is even more vulnerable than you. You both can hide it well -- Cancer withdraws into his shell to protect himself, and you are master of keeping your private life secret -- but poor Cancer is just so sensitive. Ruled by the emotional Moon, he doesn't live by Scorpio's "I don't get mad, I get even" M.O. Rather, his is, "I get hurt, I curl up on my couch with my dog and a bag of chips and watch football." (A female Cancer may do the same, but with a pint of ice cream and the Lifetime Channel.)

So, how is he going to trust you again? Security and safety are important to Cancer, so he's not gonna open himself up to you unless he knows you won't bite. He can forgive -- he's aware that moods fluctuate, and that people do regretful things when under the spell of their emotions.

Can you be a safe harbor to him, equal to his dog, remote and chips? That's questionable. You can be consistent -- that is, until the Plutonic force of change irrevocably alters your course, compelling you to burn all your bridges on the way to your new destination. That sounds a little too intense for Cancer -- he doesn't even want to cross the bridge.

So what does a Scorpio girl got to do?

Listen, you should be able to work this out. You're both Water signs -- you "get" each other when it comes to brewing in your feeling-worlds. You can be incredibly persistent when you're driven to accomplish something. If you can convince him -- as well as yourself -- that no matter how turbulent your inner life becomes, you'll still apply your Martian will towards stabilizing the home front, then he might let you back in. But, hey -- there are no guarantees. You're a Scorpio, after all.

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Labels: astrology, breakups, cancer, compatibility, scorpio

Hey baby, stick with me and I'll buy you a KitchenAid Artisan Series 5-Quart Mixer, as well as a Zojirushi Home Bakery Supreme Bread Machine.

I won't be home while you prepare delicious meals for me, for I will be slaving away at the office in my efforts to become a partner at the firm before I'm 40. However, after you put the kids to sleep and set the table, I should be home around 9, just in time to share dinner with you before I go to bed, for I must get up at 4:30 to get to the gym before I catch up on my emails at the office.

You may not see much of me, but I will provide for you, and we can go skiing in Aspen with the kids after I get my promotion.

Comment below: Are you a Cancer? How have you been seduced by a Capricorn?

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Labels: astrology, cancer, capricorn, compatibility

All a Virgo man has to do is relentlessly criticize you and pick at your faults until you break down into tears. When you ask if he no longer wants to be with you, he will say, "Of course I do. You just need to x, y and z, and everything will be fine." But when x, y and z are insurmountable tasks -- when he is asking you to wipe yourself clean of all inadequacies -- you realize you have been set up.

Or, he will say he's not good enough for you. He tries to improve himself for your benefit, but he always comes up short. "You're probably better off with someone else, someone who measures up." You insist that he's fine just the way he is, that you love him. "But there must be something wrong with you, if you can love such a loser. Really, I don't deserve you."

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Labels: astrology, breakups, virgo

This is news?

Capricorn men are cold because their ruling planet is Saturn. Every sign of the zodiac is associated with a planet (or two), but none is as unfortunate as Capricorn. Cap lives under the thumb of the strictest, harshest, most judging and punishing god in the solar system. Until Uranus was discovered, Saturn was thought to be the outermost planet in the solar system, the boundary-maker. He rules limitations, concrete reality, tests and trials, all the hard work we must do to manifest anything in life. Saturn is slow -- he brings on delays, forces us to patiently slog through tedious tasks to achieve our desired outcome.

But Saturn is not all bad. He rewards hard work with material success; suffering with wisdom. He's still the strict father, however. Saturn will give you what's coming to you -- good or bad.

You won't get warmth from a Capricorn man, but his steadiness and sense of duty betray his affection towards you.

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Labels: astrology, capricorn

Pisces would rather spend time with his home entertainment system than choose a Gemini or Leo. The sign of retreat and seclusion is ruled by Neptune, planet of transcendence, and wants nothing more than to dissolve his ego boundaries and merge with divine consciousness. Or maybe he just wants to get high watching David Lynch movies.

Pisces loves film and photography, and has an appreciation for fashion. Who but Leo craves the attention of the camera, the allure of carrying the perfect handbag?

But unlike Pisces, Leo is all about ego. Ruled by the Sun, the center of the solar system, Leo wants to be adored and worshipped. She does not want to be behind the scenes -- she wants to be the scene. All the fire of Leo, as well as her stubborn insistence on getting noticed, can be a drain on Pisces' sensitive nature.

But is Gemini much better? Words, words, words ... they just don't do justice to the ineffable mysteries of super-consciousness -- or a good bong hit. Pisces yearns to see beyond the superficialities of Gemini's domain. Gemini has the advantage of being more flexible than Leo, able to drop a topic quickly and move on to the next. However, the airy quality of Gemini, the chattering headspace -- once again, Pisces is so emotional and reclusive that Gemini's mental meanderings can wear him out.

There's no real winner here ... assigning points, I'd put Gemini in the lead because at least Gemini and Pisces are both mutable signs. However, the angles Pisces makes to these signs -- a square to Gemini and a quincunx to Leo -- suggest inevitable conflict either way. Can't you just find him a nice Water or Earth sign to love?

Comment below: Is it pointless trying to interest a Pisces man in Fire or Air signs?

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Labels: astrology, compatibility, gemini, leo, pisces

If there is any sign with enough energy to keep up with a Gemini, it's Aries. The Gemini man is restless, and wants to cover a lot of ground in little time. The Aries woman may not be able to match Gemini's quick wit, but she can win him over by taking him on a whirlwind tour of New York City, or hitting every vineyard in Northern CA. Taking the initiative suits Aries, and since she loses interest after the first step, she'll be right in line with Gemini, who's ready to move on to the next destination once he's taken in the sights.

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Labels: aries, astrology, compatibility, gemini

Can you play hard-to-get with a Virgo man?

I don't think Virgo's all that interested in a challenge, unless he's trying to improve his skill-set. He may analyze the most efficient way to chase a not-easy-to-catch woman, but he's more into improving his game than winning the prize.

In other words, I think your plan will backfire. You've got two things working against you: his element is Earth and his mode is Mutable. Earth signs are not exactly noted for their immediate, passionate responses -- they are more cautious and slow to act. And Mutable signs disperse energy -- your Virgo man has difficulty mobilizing himself to pursue you. Mutable signs are mentally-focused -- he may just think about how he'd catch you.

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Labels: astrology, virgo

Are Geminis the liars of the zodiac? (Where else do we get the term "two-faced"?) Pisces is the sign of deception, but Gemini is ruled by Mercury, the god who invented lying. Gemini is a mutable sign, and can be slippery with words. He is a master mimic, adept at adapting. When I think of Gemini, I think of Sydney Bristow from Alias, the sexy spy who donned eight different costumes each episode. This is an agent who spoke something like 148 languages! Sydney's deceit was always for a purpose, not out of defensiveness. Mercury is rather utilitarian, doing what he has to do to get what he wants. He's not a terribly moral god.

Yes, Gemini may not value honesty. His sign is opposite Sagittarius, which can be a little too blunt with the truth. (For "truthiness," see Moon-in-Gemini Stephen Colbert.) He lies when he needs to, and may not even feel any guilt about it.

So how do you make a Gemini man tell the truth?

• Pin him down. Make him define the words he uses. ("Sexual relations," for instance, is a famous example.)
• Try to get behind the lie to see what his endgame is. Is he just trying to get away with an affair? Or is his deceit a necessarily evil in his efforts to get intel for the NSA?

And keep in mind:

• With Aquarius in his solar 9th house, an objective truth guides him ... one that is truly beyond the realm of intimate relationships. Maybe he thinks that a little lie to his lady is nothing, if his deceit benefits humanity.
  
• Cancer is in Gemini's solar 2nd house. Your Gemini man values home, family and security. Remember Sydney Bristow? Half the time she was lying, it was to protect the ones she loved.

OK ... I'm not saying your Gemini man really is a spy, who's being deceitful to protect you from Arvin Sloane, Sidney's boss who had her boyfriend killed after she told him she worked for the CIA. Maybe your Gemini man is just an affair-having sleazeball. Geminis do like things in twos, after all.

Good luck!

The original query was "make a gemini man to tell the truth."

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Labels: astrology, gemini

Are you in a relationship with a Pisces man? Pisces copes by withdrawing into fantasy and mind-altering substances. If you are in a relationship with a Pisces man and he does not like you, he will escape -- to the movies, to the local watering hole, or into his own mind, staring out the window while he imagines his ideal woman.

Are you interested in a Pisces man? You'll know he doesn't like you if he doesn't notice you. Pisces is so often in another world that it takes something compelling to bring him back to earth. He can tune someone out if she doesn't interest him, like a radio that ignores all but one frequency. Or to be more Web2.0: If you're not on his iTunes playlist or at least recommended in his "Listeners Also Bought" section, then the best you can do is play your song on your MySpace page and hope he responds to your invite.

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Labels: astrology, pisces

Grieving takes time. You can start by integrating the qualities you most appreciated about your Taurus man into your daily routine. The end of a relationship can introduce an emotional hole into your life, and it is best to fill it with activities that nurture your spirit. A Taurus guy is not the same as the archetype of "Taurus," undiluted by other astrological factors. He is a complex individual with many zodiac signs expressing his different needs. Nonetheless, you were probably attracted to his sensual, grounded nature. How can you introject, or "take in," those qualities?

I would advise against Taurean pursuits like shopping and eating chocolate to get over your Taurus man. They might feel good for a few minutes, but they are not spiritually fulfilling. (OK, maybe if it's really good chocolate.) Instead, go to an art museum and lose yourself in shapes, colors and textures. Taurus is ruled by Venus, goddess of beauty. Can you find Beauty in your surroundings? Venus also loves sensual pleasure -- take an aromatherapy bath and scrub yourself with sea salt; go to the park and lean against a tree, letting its rootedness support you as you wallow in your sorrows. Mother Earth can absorb your sadness. She has endured much more loss than you, and She still perseveres, like any good Taurus would.

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Labels: astrology, breakups, taurus

Every man wants to be listened to. Granted, it can be easy to tune out an Aquarian talking about SQL Server or a Sagittarian discussing foreign relations, but a Leo man is likely to at least keep you engaged. The consummate performer, Leo's warm and outgoing style puts you at ease, so all you have to do is dilate your pupils, slightly drop your lower lip, and gaze admiringly at him while he does his schtick.

The Leo man will get along with any woman who's fiery, enthusiastic, sociable and chatty. However, what he wants most is an audience. Throw in a little Aquarian detachment while you observe him, and he'll be like a circus lion standing on his hind legs to get a rise out of you.

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Labels: astrology, leo

OK, I'm gonna get on my moral high horse right now and tell you that it is wrong to break up a marriage.

That said, it's not so hard to get a married Sagittarius man. He's got a bit of wanderlust in him. The Sagittarius man does not like to be shackled in wedlock, so a mare on the other side of the fence will appeal to him, especially if she can promise adventure ... a rollick in greener pastures, for example.

On the other hand, some Sagittarius men love mounting the moral high horse. Sag is ruled by Jupiter, planet of ethics and religion. If the married man you covet has strong beliefs about the institution of marriage, then you're wasting your time. Find some other stallion ... preferably one's who's single!

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Labels: adultery, astrology, marriage, sagittarius

QUIZ

Which pie will turn on a Virgo man?

1. Vegan apple pie made with wheat-free crust, unsaturated oil and agave nectar.
2. The kind of pie you'd get at Applebee's.

Who's gonna cook it?

1. A Cancer woman.
   
2. Virgo's Mama.

OK, part 2 was a trick question.

A Virgo man values purity, so if a Cancer woman wants to appeal to him, she's gotta live out the perfect mother archetype to a T. Although nothing turns a woman on like watching her husband vacuum, this will work for a Virgo man as well.

Caution: Virgo men are more self-critical than they are critical of others, and it's likely that Mom harped on him as a youth. It can be a challenge for a Cancer woman to do the cooking-and-cleaning bit without also, well, being a Cancer. The Virgo man may take her moodiness personally, and sometimes she just might be crabby enough to pinch him. Then he will criticize her cooking and point out the creases in the shirts she pressed for him, and before you know it she'll be sulking and he'll be harping, and, as the formula goes:

WATER (Cancer) + EARTH (Virgo) = MUD.

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Labels: astrology, cancer, compatibility, virgo

Did I hear you correctly? How to get a Taurus man for Christmas? I thought you wanted to know what to get a Taurus man for the holidays, but I guess you first need a man before you can shower him with gifts.

As I write this, there are 17 days until Christmas. If you want to kiss a Taurus man under the mistletoe, you'd better starting working now.

1. The best way to snag a Taurus man is by finding your inner Scorpionic vixen and letting her loose. We're all attracted to our opposites, and cautious Taurus is fascinated by women who give off that deep, mysterious and dangerous Scorpio vibe. He's also scared shitless of Scorpionic women, but isn't fear a turn-on?
2. If all else fails, go to the closest mall and sit on Santa's lap like a good little girl, and tell him exactly what you want. When he asks if you've been naughty or nice, say "Naughty." If Santa turns redder than his outfit, you just might have found your Taurus man. Invite him home for milk and cookies.
   

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Labels: astrology, taurus

I'm sorry. I wish I could say something to provide you solace.

You did not ask your search engine for advice -- you simply shared your grief, hoping that google would offer some comfort-providing links, an URL whose content would fill this gaping void that was created the moment your Taurus man left you.

It hurts, yes, I know. But sometimes the web does not help at times like this. It is all too tempting to search for meaning in text, but we risk intellectualizing away our pain.

Your Taurus man might tell you, at a time like this, to just feel the ache in your body. Go into it. Deeply. Or derive comfort through pleasing sensations: walk barefoot on smooth rocks, take an aromatherapy bath, get some bodywork. Your Taurus man may have let you down, but you always have Mother Earth on whom you can depend. It is her consistency and breathless silence that will get you through this.

Comment below: How have you coped with losing a Taurus man?

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Labels: astrology, taurus

Scorpio men do not take kindly to being hurt. Scorpios hold on to resentments as tightly as a sphincter holds on to water. A fixed water sign, he is stubborn when it comes to emotions. Scorpios don't trust easily in the first place, because they are all too aware of how one can be wounded in intimate relationships.

Scorpio is ruled by Pluto, the planet that digs deep into experience, rooting out secrets and suppressed memories. Pluto is associated with manipulation and abuse of power. The Scorpio man is well-acquainted with the methods of torture used in the Underworld, and hence does not like to be on the receiving end of such barbaric techniques.

Even though the Scorpio man does not let go easily of his resentments, his zodiac sign is also the most transformative. Pluto rules the death-rebirth process. Scorpios hold tight, but they also periodically become devoured by the flames of regeneration.

As he rises from the ashes, your Scorpio man will have let go of his anger. However, there's nothing you can do to initiate this process. Pluto works by his own mysterious schedule.

You cannot win back a Scorpio, but if you're patient he might forgive you.

How long do you want to wait?

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Labels: astrology, scorpio

What are you thinking? That's like beating up Aries Russell Crowe in Gladiator.

But, no, you must mean sexually conquer.

You've got an uphill battle, because Aries likes to do the conquerin'. Aries is ruled by Mars, the warrior planet. He likes to win. You're not likely to beat him at his own game.

However, you can be his better half. The Aries man is attracted to his opposite -- and what's the antithesis of brutish and aggressive?

Libra!

Be charming, gracious, beautiful and balanced. Once your Aries man stops grunting, he'll put down his stick and see that you make up for his boorishness.

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Labels: aries, astrology

Have you lost a Virgo? Do you want to win him back? Then all you have to do is be perfect. Obviously, he left you because you were somehow inefficient.

The first thing you need to do is take a fearless inventory of yourself, and identify all of your human flaws. Then eradicate them.

It could be that you did not improve in the face of his relentless criticism. Don't get me wrong, I know you tried, but surely you missed a spot [on the dishes/his favorite shirt]. You might not have seen it, but he did. You see, that's your problem -- you just don't see.

What? I'm sounding like the Virgo who dumped you? Stop being so sensitive! Here I am, telling you how to rid yourself of all your imperfections, and you complain! No wonder he left you!

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Labels: astrology, virgo

If a man's Venus is in Aquarius, he will be attracted to a freaky or geeky woman. Unconventional, eccentric, a woman who plays by her own rules. A woman ahead of her time, who adopts trends before they're even hip in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. A woman who values her independence, who does not like to be tied down. (Well, unless she's really freaky ...)

A man with his Venus in Aquarius will also need freedom in relationships -- he will value his space. He is also attracted to groups, humanitarian efforts, and friendships.

For readers who are unacquainted with Venus, we all have this planet in our chart. She travels near the Sun, but does not necessarily share the same sign as the Sun. Venus rules art, beauty, relationships, values, as well as how you attract ... or if you're a man, the type of woman to whom you are attracted. If you're an Aquarius woman, you stand a good chance!

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Labels: aquarius, astrology