How to end a relationship with a Cancer
Ending a relationship with a Cancer is like giving up your baby for adoption.
But, really. Cancer is ruled by the Moon, which governs the mother-child bond, family, food, the home and emotions. Hence, your Cancer man can get pretty attached. It's likely there has been a form of dependency in your relationship. Maybe you want out because you feel smothered.
That's all legitimate. But you're not asking why, you're asking how.
"My dear Cancer, during the time we have spent together, you have felt like family to me. We've shared beautiful moments of warmth and coziness, and I just love your pumpkin pie. However, there are times when I feel like you want more from me than a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship ... and I don't mean marriage. Sometimes I feel like you want me to be your mother, and that's just not a role that I want to play.
"I've brought this up before ... as much as I feel two people in a couple should be there for each other, I don't want to be taken care of, and I don't want to take care of you. And when I've confronted you about this unhealthy dynamic, you just get moody and withdraw.
"So I think it's best, Cancer, if we go our separate ways. You can keep the kitchenware."
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posted by Jeffrey Kishner at 11/21/2006
13 Comments:
so i am a leo and i got dumped by a cancer last summer! how did that happen? granted, it took me a while to get used to the relationship (although his cooking dinner for me on a regular basis was a big perk) but whatever, just thought i'd point out that the tables can in fact turn on you, who knew i'd turn out to be the clingy one?
Marilha,
Your clinginess may be attributable to one of your other planets, perhaps your Moon. And as clingy as a Cancer may be, it is still an "initiating" sign, so a Cancer will take action when it comes to protecting himself and his feeling of safety at home.
My moon is in sagittarius, is that what you mean by my moon being somewhere else? However, my Saturn is in cancer. Does this make any sense to you?
In retrospect, I think I was clinging to the home-cooked meals: pasta with clams was his specialty... This is an Italian cancer we are talking about, the cooking was phenomenal!
Marilha,
Moon in Sag is not a clingy placement, but with your Saturn in Cancer, (1) you struggle with feeling "at home" and being nurtured, and (2) your Cancer ex may have felt judged (Saturn) by you or felt that you were being the boss (Saturn) in the relationship.
Also, with both your Sun and Moon in fire signs, you are not terribly compatible with a water sign like Cancer.
Cancers are ultra sensitive and bruise as easy as a banana. Be very careful here their breakup pain lasts somewhere in the neighborhood of forever. They cry and cry for years and then go into a crab shell for protection and will hurt everytime they see you again...this one needs to only date once and marry forever. They will love you to death and feed you delicious meals every hour and did I mention when you marry them you have also married their mother?
Hi. I just now realized I have both Mercury and Saturn in cancer. I agree with the saturn in cancer scenarios, what about the mercury factor, does that change anything? Thanks :)
Marilha,
With your Mercury in Cancer, you would be able to communicate on his wavelength. If your Mercury is conjunct your Saturn, however, you may have difficulty in general with communication issues.
Ouch....
This was by far the worst! Yet the most helpful relationship that I have lived. Does the saying that we attract our fathers reign true? As, although I did not know the full extent of my father's personality, from those who were affected by it....It seems that I attracted a father-figure into my life.....all well and good....but the insecurity part kills it.....This Cancer rushed apparently full on into a relationship which he defined following his own feelings and without consideration for the other's perspective....or even the wisdom of not rushing into things....anyway to cut a long story short....this Cancer person grew on me...good or bad thing?...don't know...reality?...yes...he did....but by that time given that I did not consider myself in a relationship...I believe alot of damage had silently been done....though that never prevented the Cancer to persist in his desire for a relationship...however in hindsight after being dumped in the worst possible way for a reason I find unfathomable...I think Cancer may have simply been looking for a correct situation to let the pinch of his pincers be felt and walk away in the comfort of a victim role.....and you are left bewildered.....as you've lost something that, though was not necessarily the healthiest of relationships.....a part of it represented a closeness that you had grown very dependent upon.....It hurts.....yet...if you survive it....it strengthens!!!
Don't be fooled by the Cancerian neediness! Cancers are needy, wishy washy, etc. but they also have a way of making you dependant on them without you even knowing it. But count on the fact that they will portray themselves as the victims (and the whole world will believe them) should anything go awry. Look at Princess Diana. She boo-hooed about her marriage, but she was actually the first to cheat.
Cancers are artists at emotional manipulation. They are exquisitely aware of others' feelings, vulnerablities, because they are so vulnerable themselves.
Princess Di cheated first?! Prince Charles never STOPPED seeing the woman he was seeing before marrying Diana. I'm glad Scorp Charles ended up with the right Cancer for him. :)
Kinda strange, the Cancer that dumped me was pretty insensitive during most of our relationship. During the early stages, it was great, but as time went on, he was extremely moody... insensitive... unsupportive... I was always the dominant nurturer and I'm a Taurus!
I agree with the person who said Cancers are the artists of emotional manipulation too...
Whoo boy!
Him: Sun: Cancer Mercury: Cancer Venus Leo Mars Sagittarius
Me: Sun: Scorpio Mercury: Libra
Venus Scorpio (oh Ya) Mars: Libra
My kids are grown, he has none. Two months in, tells me he never wants to get married again. Has not even said he cares. We see e/o every day and talk 2-3 times a day
What is up with this guy?
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