Aquarius man acting very distant
It's not an act, honey. Your Aquarius man is very distant.Aquarius is an air sign. This element is associated with the mind. Like his brothers Libra and Gemini, Aquarius is not very in touch with his feelings.
In addition, the Water Bearer is ruled by Uranus, a planet that is literally and figuratively not of this world. Your guy feels at home thinking about the sky (astrophysics, astrology), not mundane earthly matters like intimate relationships. In fact, he's just not that into ... intimacy (thought I had you there!). The collective, the group -- he does care about humanity, but he is concerned by virtue of his objective distance.
Aquarius is also an independent sign. He does not like to be fenced in. And since Aquarius is an unyielding fixed sign, your very act of pushing him to be emotionally present with you rings his alarm. In response, he becomes stubbornly closed off to you.
What to do? Give him some space ... he'll show up for you when he's had time to sort this out in that brilliant noggin of his.
Comment below: How have you dealt with a distant Aquarius man?
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posted by Jeffrey Kishner at 11/17/2006
37 Comments:
Engaged to a brilliant distant Aquarian man. How to handle? Give him lots of space to explore his ideas and his world. He loves variety, intellectually stimulating people and will not tolerate boredom. He is full of surprises so when you least expect it then expect it from him! Meet his great need for sexual exploration. He is wired with electrical energy that snaps and crackles. He is a lightning rod and you must keep up with him or he will leave you behind in his stardust! He loves the unpredictable so shock him every now and then be someone he can never figure out. Puzzle him with your strange behavior. He does love affection and someone who can ride the lightning rod with him! But never become emotional around him it drains him. If you become emotionally distant then he will be the one to become emotional with you but ever so slightly.
Yep, Ms. Daniels describes my boyfriend to a perfect "T". Extremely intelligent and a lover of freedom. Wanna keep your aquarian man ? Don't box him in and give him a very long leash. It helps to be independent and have a strong sense of self. Keep yourself busy and he will come around when he is ready. Always remember when he becomes emotionally distant with you or you feel a separation, don't try to hang on tighter, give him the space he needs. Go out and do your own thing. Believe me, he will notice and your phone will start ringing.
Hi there just reading over the comments.. I am a capricorn..there is some differences between my star sign and aquarius however there is a lot in common.. I do believe that capricorns do have a fun streak in them. I mean i do im the clown in my group always the one to make people laugh which sounds strange,given the fact that we hold the title as SERIOUS INDIVIDUALS.. i am a serious person but.. im serious when it comes to my future(career, goals) and liars.. I do know how to have fun and i am definitely not an introvert as horoscope definitions may suggest lol, life is to short to be boring..i do think i am full of surprises..i may come across in a certain way and then prove otherwise..anyways i'll get to the point now lol.. could you guys tell me what it is aquarius men like? what kind of things do they find unpredictable?what do they look for in a partner? What kind of stange behaviour is it they like? That may sound like a strange question but i saw it in your comment and thought i'd ask :).. waiting your reply.. i appreciate it :)
hmm...this is true... my aquarian 'friend' will often go off radar for a day or so and altho it drives me insane, i find that carrying on as usual works best...he soon pops up again...
I am involved with an Aquarian man and as an Aquarian woman, I feel I understand him perfectly, and he me. He needs his space, I need mine...no muss, no fuss, no drama and no clinging. When we get together, it's dynamite, lots of mental stimulation, which in turn fuels and stokes the physical fire.
Our time apart, makes coming together that much more special. If you want to make it with an Aquarian man or woman, do as others have said..don't box us in..give us space and a long leash to explore and to dally in our multitude of strange hobbies.
Any man that clings or wants to be with me constantly is an instant turn off, then again so is jealousy and possessiveness. I tell people, I'm not distant, I'm just somewhere else.
hmmmm I wonder why my Aquarius guy is more emotional then i am and and likes to be tuned with how i feel and my sexuality?....Like omg he's very sexual! And how is it that the aquarius guyz i've known and even the one i know now have a jealous streak in them? and I'm a Sag/Cap by the way...
I am aquarius I was married to one also.. OMG!!! MOODY!!!!!! He was too much nothing was good enough and he was in a constant mood! Our marriage of 10 yrs was ultimately ended
i am in a casual sex relationship with an aquarius man and i really like him. I am just extremly terrified to tell him i like him cuz i don't want to appear clingy and i dont want the fun to end. we get along great but all the astrology pages saying he will be your good friend have me kinda wondering if that is all it will ever be. I am a gemini/libra that needs some advice
Hmm..as an Aquarius weirdo, I think he knows...there this weird sense of knowledge around us. WE aren't stupid and practically analytical sometimes too much, for instance I dissect people and my affiliated with them, how we would be together is she the one I am looking for and so on. Basically you have been considered and processed like a piece of data, if he likes you show something, we need some sign that tells us we are wanted for something more, its rather drastic but it might clear up a few things. *shrugs* Your choice, the clingy part is ok, as long as you don't set rulez, oh god we hate that, let him 'feel' what is right in the relationship or wrong, rulez establish themselves naturally, don't box...we hate people who try to.
I dated an Aquarius guy and to put it bluntly when it was good it was the best relationship I had ever had, when it was bad it was like having your heart ripped out.
At first it was the type of relationship that makes your heart skip a beat, your head spin and you fall head overhills before you have time to think, but at the end it was draining and painful.
Gemini/Libra asking for help with Aquarius man:
You might not need any help by virtue of your strong air signs. As an aquarius I have the great fortune of attracting a lot of libra's into my life, and some really stellar Geminis too. My favorite thing about Libra's is their ability to tactfully and charmingly state whatever business happens to be on their minds. The quickest way to get me to act is by appealing to my sense of reason, logic or altruism. Don't think he doesn't know you like him. In fact say, "obviously, I like you, since I'm sleeping with you..." Saying that will signal to him that you're not a hopeless romantic, that you're strong and that you're tuned into his wavelength. He'll also be intrigued by your use of the word "obviously." Now you're not "outing" yourself, you're "outing him" in a way. Make the talk to come seem like the "natural next step" as much as possible since aquarians are very process oriented--but not conventional. Being so matter of fact, forward and direct with him will show him you're not conventional either! Try to stay away from saying mushy stuff, although displaying just a little bit of emotional vulnerability will prove you're authentic. The Magic formula for Aq's is this: Make us feel wanted and appreciated, but not needed or like we are your whole world.
I forget to mention: Because that how we feel about you.
I 've been in a relationship with an Aquarius man recently. When he discovered I had "feelings" for him he started backing off emotionally not physically. He says my feelings are stronger than his ( even though he said that he liked me first)and that it is not going to work out but he still wants physical contact. Is he using me? We only had sex once. I am a Sagitarian.
he wants a fuckbuddy
do you?
@badnoozbetty, please refrain from the f word in the comments section.
fine
he still wants a *uckbuddy
TRASH HIM he's no good
you're no good, you're no good, you're no good, Baby you're no good . . .
la la la
Thanks for the advice. I don't know about the f***buddy. I am too old for this sh**. I like him and it is hard to just be friends with him. I really think he is scared of his own feelings due to past relationships. I don't want to be played.
An Aquarian man afraid of his feelings? That's an oxymoron (what feelings)
Remember Richard in Sex and the City, the suave player Samantha fell for (and what a cool one, like lime sorbet yum)
She confessed to the girls at the cafe, "He's just afraid of his deep feelings, he even said so" (while he was seated on her big red kingsize bed). And the girls all hid a knowing smile-- even Charlotte the eternal optimist.
When a woman says a man is afraid of his feelings it's a red flag she's speaking for herself, because we prefer to have feelings for someone before we get intimate. And naturally we think they think the same way. Well they don't.
If men needed feelings for intimacy they wouldn't shell out so much for cold sex with a perfect stranger. Harsh, but hey, it's a reality.
A man doesn't need feelings to have sex, just a willing and beautiful female body. And a desperately hungry guy will easily settle even if the menu is spartan, as long as he gets some.
I wouldn't tangle with someone who just wants a ****buddy. Make him pay you per hour if that's what he wants, at least that way he'll value your time and effort and respect your strength. Seriously. I know I'll get flogged for this statement but so be it. Men who get it for free are users who don't respect women. They should invest their time and emotion first, perhaps as in the old days MARRY the girl first and give her some security before they steal her virtue.
Otherwise you're giving the milk away for free. So why buy the cow? A good guy considers your feelings, and takes care of his investment.
Then again, for those who would disagree, perhaps sometimes it's good to get played just so you don't get rusty ;)
Wow! I don't know how to respond to that. I really don't think it is a cold as that! He did have feelings for me I am not that stupid to think he was only in it for sex. We did discuss it early on in the relationship. I wanted everything out in the open and if anything I came onto him on few occasions when he put the brakes on. I think he is genuinely scared to confront his feelings. I just don't want to fall into the sex with the ex trap.
I'm a libra and I've fallen hopelessly in love with an aquarius, who happens to be the best friend on my cousin. I notice that when he's around his friends he's talkative and outspoken. When it's just the 2 of us, he's reserved and even speaks softly. However, I have never felt this way around anyone before. I feel completely at easy and comfortable around him. It's like being with someone I've know my whole life, a best friend. We've been seeing each other for a couple months now, but our relationship has barely gotten physical. We've only even kssied on a couple of occassions. I'm begining to feel like a buddy rather that a girl friend, but somehow it feels natural. I feel like there is a reason this relationship is progressing slowly. Hopefully time will tell.
Go with your feelings. If it feels good see where it can go but don't force him to open up. He might open up naturally and become more physical with you. I had the opposite happen and once he got me hooked he broke it off (he's an aquarian too) Go with the flow- maybe you can initiate more contact so he knows what you want. Are you sure it is love? Hope the advice helps.
Mine told me he acts distant on purpose (for what I don't know). They are strange and it's very difficult to give them up once it's over. They are afraid of their feelings, my boyfriend started "running" from me as soon as he said I love you. He later told me he was just scared b/c of how serious we were becoming and that prompted him to take a step back. Which is fine b/c he's not going anywhere and neither am I...they are just that way. As soon as I take some steps back myself he becomes very persistant and uncharacteristically jealous. It's very strange because he never acted this way before but lately he has been very attentive. I've said this before and I'll say it again, if you have been involved with him for less than a month...RUN he will make you crazy and after he's done so will tell you he thinks just that, smile/giggle and kiss you softly...I think they might be the crazy ones!!!
This whole F*** buddy thing is out of control. People just don't get the notion of free love anymore.
As an Aquarius man I'm outraged that so many women think sex is this dirty privilege they give men if they're worthy.
Friends should have all the sex they like of each other until one or the other falls in love with someone. We Aquarians understand this, why can't you people?
Rob,this is Proserpine. I don't know who is "you people"
I agree.
And I'm not an Aquarius.
I think the whole f*** buddy thing has gotten out of control too.
And in my opinion, which may not be yours, of course, I don't think there is uch a thing.If you really tlak to the people involved one or both are kidding themselves.
Now,I don't think people who are having sex are all meant to be serious lovers.Not at all.
But they're not just friends.
That's a misnomer.
A lot of people use that term and then use the term "dating" when they're serious.
'Dating' is supposed to be just that.Having fun, dating, *seeing* , or going out with, one person or another.
Not going steady or becoming engaged.
I agree with free love 100%.
But, as you say, when one falls in love and is in a committed relationship, then to me,there's no more affairs.Won't work inm, and experience.
Proserpine speaking again.
But, Rob, and the various anonymous women who have posted dehre, some Librans, some Aquarians, and I think one Sagitarius lady--
Victoria is also right!
I don't think of sex as a dirty priviledge I'll allow a man to have if he's worthy.
I don't feel that way, and I don't know if Victoria did mean *that*.
What she's saying is: if a man thinks he can use a woman by saying a couple of charming things and then getting plenty of sex wihtout treating her kindly, and lovingly , and coldly tells her not to get too clingy because he's "just him" and not into it, and not into committment, but expects and demands sex like it's *his* right--that's a problem for me.
It is not a privilege to be wiht a man anmyore than it's a privilege I'm granting--(though in a sense it's all a privilege we share wiht one another).)But that's another conversation.
So, Victoria is saying if he thinks that's how it should go, wham, bam, thank you Ma'am, then--fine, he pays for it.
How many men truly say out front with all *kindness* and respect that they're seeing other women and dont want to get involved--very few really do tell the truth. *that's* not fair, Rob.
That is not free love either!
Anonymous Sagitarian woman, I ahve another slightly different slant.I think some men are afraid of their feelings, yes.
Some are.But--here';s the thing..we can't make them feel those things they don't want to.We can't force it, or even expect that one day he'll wake up and admit his love.It does happen occasioanlly, yes.
But usually what happens is, you'll have a who runs even faster and/or farther because he feels somethng and it's being brought to the surface.
ye,s he lkies you.But if he wanted it to get serious, he would allow it, somehow.
If he misses you when you avoid him, let him figure out his feelings, and come to you.If he does'nt--he won't, I'm sorry to say.His demon is too strong.
Rob, you said:
"Friends should have all the sex they like of each other until one or the other falls in love with someone. We Aquarians understand this, why can't you people?"
You can not speak for all Aquarians. I know many Aquarians and I can assure that this is not their stance on love and relationships.
If you want to speak for yourself, fine, but it's best to avoid making sweeping generalizations when trying to make a point.
We Pisces concur with Allegra.
Keep in mind what I said has little to do with love and only to do with relationships where people can handle mutual inclusiveness and no I don't speak for all aquarians - just the type A outgoing ones. My best friend is the other kind, introverted and pragmatic. He's a bit of a loner and doesn't deal with many women.
I don't believe at all in telling a girl she's the only one if she isn't. But I think it's important to be able to read your partner and not base your feelings on assumptions.
All I'm trying to say is I don't think of having multiple partners as something deceptive or even wrong. Sex is fun and an underutilized source of endorphins. It is also often confused with love by some. Both of the girls I'm seeing are involved with other guys. That's their business and I'm fine with it. It's only when the feelings reach a certain depth - which is rare - that seeing other people should be an issue.
My issue is with women who think just because you fool around with them they somehow own you. If both are honest and having fun, what's the crime?
But then again, we aquarii feel caged up pretty easily. ;)
Interesting.
Oh, Tony, is it really interesting?? Is is so interesting to believe that aquarius men feel trapped easily...or are you a robot under the guise of someone else, asserting your presence to distract from the post-er/ess you really are......?
hahahahaha.
a.
ps- stop all this aqua bashing!! ...as fellow aqua said "why can't I live my life..without all the things that people say?"
I'm no Pisces, but I concur with Allegra and Jeffrey on this one. It's not Aquarius bashing-- it's cold hearted sex bashing.
If you are a woman capable of that, enjoy it for what it's worth. I am not.
Not that I haven't tried, because you never know until you've walked a mile in another man (or woman's) shoes.
Then again I've got 17 years experience on you and my thinking has been completely revolutionized. It's a Uranus conjunct Pluto thing.
Despite my Aqua Moon, my feelings towards a sex partner have always "reached a certain depth." However, I have no problem with someone having multiple partners as long as they are radically honest and practice safe sex.
I think Rob can speak for himself and only himself. But that's cool. Thank you Rob for sharing your experience as one Aquarius male. Let's refrain from bashing all Aquarians.
I think with an Aquariuan you can like them but you can't be too attached to them. They are not other bf's you've ever had they don't call etc. So out of sight out of mind. AT first I was angry because based on the fact that I was already in a place where I didn't think guys were that great and I was fine with that. Then he brings me out of that and makes me care only to be distant etc. But I have come to terms with being ok with it.
I have an Aquariuan that I was fond of. I liked the 'nice guy routine'. He takes me out we went on vacation it was the best ever. He is shy and sweet and the sex is like therapy it is all very nurturing and pleasant. But I just have to separate any feelings of depth from the pleasantness. This is easier than I thought. Even if my plan was to be single I don't necessarily need to see someone else or end it. Unless a need isn't being met which I can always get from another guy. After all Aquarius hasn't established that we are to be exclusive and clearly doesn't want to get married and I have expressed that I don't want to have children. I want a quality relationship and to be liked for myself. And I've never been as adamat as I have with this Aquarius Bluebeard because I suspected that I will fall through the cracks. I don't want to live in the gilded cage thank you expecially with an emotionally distant and potentially covertly abusive man.
So I like having him in my life but if he doesn't like that he can always end it I can give him that choice.
But life is like that you have a little bit of this and that that enhances the overall quality. The time we spend is wonderful so leave it at that. I don't think about him if he's not around. And I have a life. I never imagined that I could be this type of really independent person but I've surprised myself. I have always been the doting girlfriend just not in Bluebeards case. Too much attachment to Aquarius is futile I think your survival instinct kicks in and is warning you.
I know that because no matter what the excuse I've had boyfriends who called me several times a day and who told me they loved me and how wonderful I am. With Bluebeard there is mostly silence. Affection cannot grow unless the other person nurtures it. Love etc isn't one and done it is a living breathing thing.
This way I can appreciate the good parts because unless it is already over I will probably see him once or twice a month. Who knows what strategy he will use next. And the funny thing is he's always saying things like 'Women and their drama'. That's interesting because he's the only one with the drama.
Women must be smarter than I thought because alot of them who are as poor as church mice like me still turn him down. Maybe they sense his snobbery and he thinks he's better than them. Now I like his eccentricity and those men are hard to find but till then I will tell myself that his beard isn't so blue but I won't give him a chance to put my head on a chopping block.
>t is not a privilege to be wiht a >man anmyore than it's a privilege >I'm granting--(though in a sense >it's all a privilege we share >wiht one another).)
I agree with that some men just want sex period they want something for nothing witout spending time and giving you the attention and affection that you need. If you like the sex with the person then it makes sense to have sex but not all people can be likelabe. Also I think it is a woman's perogative anyway.
Aquarians are not the typical people. They want what they want but they aren't so much into giving you what they want ie selfish.
I enjoy the moment and don't give more than I get. I already know not to get attached I think he's the one who is attached more than me now. I used to be attached but not so much. I pretend to be dumb about it because he isn't a particularly fair person. So why should I help him or understand? That is also my perogative. I also haven't forgotten how he tries to throw me off with his 'I'm rich powerful detached' thing that he does but I am strong. Wealth is not substitute for lack of personal devlopment and intuition but it is nice to go out with someone who will take you to nice places and shows you something different.
If he wants to end it that's ok if he wants to continue that's ok
I think with an Aquarius you truely have to not care about what happens next or change any plans that you have. LIfe goes on as usual you live in moment and the companionship that you have is nice. Aquarius will get you into the hobbies that he likes which is like a learning experience you pick up something new. I like that being a Sagittarius.
But there won't be any confessions from me about my 'fondness' or how I think he's so great because he's self absorbed. Self absorbed people don't deserve compliments.
I followed his lead he doesn't speak I don't speak he doesn't give compliments I don't give complements. He's detached and never calls I don't either. Copy him. After all we learn the best from men and we risk nothing. Don't have to put yourself out there. I have already learnt so much about detachment and indifference and I think those are reserved for differene kinds of people.
My mom was an Aquarius and I remember why I got away from her and won't go back. Covertly abusive and manipulative, insecure, secretly jealous and envious of others paranoid and crazy and cold too. I thought I had escaped but there are all kinds of people just waiting around the corner.
However I don't want to throw out the bathwater with this guy but in the future I will probably try to find a cancer.
I was feeling sorry for him because his so called friend was making fun of him but now I see why. It is the same thing that I used to wonder about my mother. Does she have no friends? When she got off the phone even w/ her sister she would say unflattering things about her. Well...now I see what you really think. I wonder what you say about me when I'm not around.
>My best friend is the other kind, >introverted and pragmatic. He's a >bit of a loner and doesn't deal >with many women.
Well it doesn't mean he's any different. The Aqua I'm seeing is rather introverted but he has the same traits.
>But I think it's important to be >able to read your partner and not >base your feelings on >assumptions.
yes it is. Woman are learning. Maybe just seeing one guy is an outdated idea.
>It is also often confused with >love by some.
Yes maybe thats how they were raised but they will learn.
>My issue is with women who think >just because you fool around with >them they somehow own you. If >both are honest and having fun, >what's the crime
There is no crime really. Sometimes people assume that they're in a relationship because they have sex because they are old fashioned. They don't like to spread themselves around. And if they find that some guy is doing that maybe they don't want to participate unless it is to supplement what they are not getting from the main guy that they like. Which in that case it makes sense. You don't want to leave him so you have a lover for what you're not getting.
desperate housewife/pool boy type of scenario
>You don't want to leave him so you have a lover for what you're not getting. desperate housewife/pool boy type of scenario
Given how hard it is for us to fall in love, I think aquas would make great guys-on-the-side. Keeps our time commitment low and our women satisfied at least once a week. Just don't tell us what else you're up to unless we ASK. ;)
Also, how does one become a pool boy?
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